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When I was a kid...
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Speckledstone
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Feb 14, 2003, 08:55 AM
 
I just got this in my e-mail and thought it was pretty funny.
Hopefully, you haven�t seen it before. Enjoy...
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up -- what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But......

Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so damned easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a freakin' Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today...you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. (When) We wanted to know something, we had to go to the LIBRARY and look it up ourselves!

And there was no e-mail! We had to actually write somebody a letter--with a pen! And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the frickin' mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

And there were no MP3s or Napsters! (If) We wanted to steal music, we had to go to the record store and shoplift it ourselves! Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and f*** it all up!

You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or jack off to the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy sh** like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was -- it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer - you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation or "X-Box" videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked butt! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens -- it was just one screen...forever! And you could never win! The game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! (If) A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed!

And sure, 2% of us had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And 98% of us still had to use one of those God-awful, frustrating antennas that you would bend and twist into every conceivable configuration and still not get a clear picture! And UHF!!! Need I say more?!?!?!

And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning...D'ya hear what I'm saying?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled, I swear to God!


You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984!!!!!
I would give this guy credit, but I don�t know who wrote it.
     
noliv
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Feb 14, 2003, 09:07 AM
 
hehehe
-noliv
     
mac-at-kearsarge
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Feb 14, 2003, 09:37 AM
 
I miss those days. Even though I was very young back then, I do have memories living with my foster family and all the chaos on the day MTV first aired. The WWF with the young Hulk Hogan was very popular, and I was free and didn't have care int he world, It's friggin' amazing and weird how things have changed.

(Probably one of the greatest time I remember is when the orgiginal NES came out, and the only games for it were the combination Mario Bros and Duck Hunt, But I guess I'm now showing my age. *Sighs*)
( Last edited by mac-at-kearsarge; Feb 14, 2003 at 10:40 AM. )
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ThisGuy
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Feb 14, 2003, 10:10 AM
 
Originally posted by mac-at-kearsarge:
... Disk Hunt...
     
Speckledstone  (op)
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Feb 14, 2003, 10:32 AM
 
You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or jack off to the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog! Those were your options!
Or National Geographic -- if you were really hard-up.

Uhh...Umm...I mean thats what a friend of mine did once...Yeah...Just once...
     
mac-at-kearsarge
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Feb 14, 2003, 10:42 AM
 
Originally posted by ThisGuy:
Yup this is what I meant. Of course if you saw my work area, you'd see that I do play "disk hunt" on a regular basis (As I have litarlly over 1000 CD's, all on spindles, finding one CD can be an interesting adventure).
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Mastrap
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Feb 14, 2003, 10:43 AM
 
Eric Idle:
Very fussable, isn't it? Very fussable.

All:
Right, all right.

Graham Chapman:
Good glass of Ch?teau de Chasselas, ain't just that, sire?

Terry Jones:
Oh, you're right there, Obadiah.

Graham Chapman:
Right.

Eric Idle:
Who would have thought, thirty years ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Chaselet, eh?

All:
Aye, aye.

Michael Palin:
Them days we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea.

Graham Chapman:
Right! A cup of cold tea!

Michael Palin:
Right!

Eric Idle:
Without milk or sugar!

Terry Jones:
Or tea!

Michael Palin:
In a cracked cup and all.

Eric Idle:
Oh, we never used to have a cup! We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!

Graham Chapman:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

Terry Jones:
But you know, we were happy in those days, although we were poor.

Michael Palin:
Because we were poor!

Terry Jones:
Right!

Michael Palin:
My old dad used to say to me: "Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!"

Eric Idle:
He was right!

Michael Palin:
Right!

Eric Idle:
I was happier then and I had nothing! We used to live in this tiny old tumbled-down house with great big holes in the roof.

Graham Chapman:
House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twentysix of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.

Terry Jones:
You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor!

Michael Palin:
Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us! We used to live in an old watertank on a rubbish tip. We'd all woke up every morning by having a load of rotten fish dumped all over us! House, huh!

Eric Idle:
Well, when I say a house, it was just a hole in the ground, covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!

Graham Chapman:
We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake!

Terry Jones:
You were lucky to have a lake! There were 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!

Michael Palin:
A cardboard box?

Terry Jones:
Aye!

Michael Palin:
You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to have to go up every morning, at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for six pence a week, and when we got home, our dad would slash us to sleep with his belt!

Graham Chapman:
Luxury! We used to have to get up out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot grubble, work twenty hours a day at mill, for two pence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

Terry Jones:
Well, of course, we had it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night, and lick the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold grubble, work twenty-four hours a day at mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife!

Eric Idle:
Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah!

Michael Palin:
Aah. Are you trying to tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you!

All:
No, no they won't!
     
mac-at-kearsarge
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Feb 14, 2003, 10:44 AM
 
Originally posted by Speckledstone:
Or National Geographic -- if you were really hard-up.

Uhh...Umm...I mean thats what a friend of mine did once...Yeah...Just once...
And this "friend" of yours admitted that they did this? How sick and perverse of them, heh heh heh.
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chris v
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Feb 14, 2003, 11:04 AM
 
Water?!? We didn't have water when I was young!

We had to smash our OWN oxygen and hydrogen molecules together!

CV

When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.
     
   
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