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Cody Dawg · Mar 17, 2006, 01:54 PM

Unbelievable.

turtle777 · Mar 17, 2006, 02:00 PM

-t

Rumor · Mar 17, 2006, 02:05 PM

I'm speechless.

meelk · Mar 17, 2006, 02:06 PM

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

what? like we care if this idiot can ever enjoy himself again or have children? they should have thrown the damn thing away.

Chuckit · Mar 17, 2006, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by Rumor

I'm speechless.

He's dickless. I think he has you beat.

olePigeon · Mar 17, 2006, 02:24 PM

Did he eat it?

Rumor · Mar 17, 2006, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

He's dickless. I think he has you beat.

Eug Wanker · Mar 17, 2006, 02:56 PM

I love the URL for the article:

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

Originally Posted by Chuckit

He's dickless.

Not anymore.

Rumor · Mar 17, 2006, 03:21 PM

Gives new meaning to the term "tally whacker".

Eug Wanker · Mar 17, 2006, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by Rumor

Gives new meaning to the term "tally whacker".

What was the old meaning?

Dakar · Mar 17, 2006, 03:39 PM

I wonder if anyone yelled "It's gonna blow!" then dove into bushes or something.

Cody Dawg · Mar 17, 2006, 04:35 PM

He's got Lorena Bobbit beaten by a mile, that's for sure.

Velocity211 · Mar 17, 2006, 04:44 PM

ShortcutToMoncton · Mar 17, 2006, 04:47 PM

Respect!

analogika · Mar 17, 2006, 04:56 PM

There is no way I'm clicking on that article link.

No sir.

Oneota · Mar 17, 2006, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by analogika

There is no way I'm clicking on that article link.

No sir.

Aw, c'mon - aren't you supposed to be the "organ" guy?

wdlove · Mar 17, 2006, 05:12 PM

Ouch! What a crazy thing to have done.

He is very lucky that they were able to reattach his penis.

Rumor · Mar 17, 2006, 05:18 PM

This thread made me think of this:

The Guo-Li-Zhuang opened recently in Beijing, exclusively serving delicacies made with animal penises and testicles, exploiting the traditional Chinese belief that such foods enhance virility. (Women can prosper, as well, because penis is good for the skin, according to a nutritionist cited in a February London Daily Telegraph dispatch.) Showcase dishes include "Dragon in the flame of desire" (which is yak) and the "hotpot" (six types of penis plus four of testicle). The most expensive is Canadian seal penis, at the equivalent of about $400. [Daily Telegraph (London), 2-17-06]

cjrivera · Mar 17, 2006, 05:30 PM

You'd think instead of throwing it, a more effective use as a weapon would be in a "beating" manner....

Eriamjh · Mar 18, 2006, 04:19 PM

Cop 1: "Look out! He's got a penis!"
Cop 2: "And it's loaded!"

Kevin · Mar 18, 2006, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

He's dickless. I think he has you beat.

Lew · Mar 18, 2006, 05:12 PM

Detatchable Penis, by King Missile

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.

Kevin · Mar 18, 2006, 06:27 PM

I have that song...

And LTNS Lew.

MindFad · Mar 18, 2006, 06:40 PM

What a cock-master.

abe · Mar 18, 2006, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by Oneota

Aw, c'mon - aren't you supposed to be the "organ" guy?

THAT was a funny, Clever, FUNNY retort!

Fyre4ce · Mar 18, 2006, 08:27 PM

Sounds like a PCP rampage. If you ever see one of those on COPS, watch it - you're in for a treat.

turtle777 · Mar 19, 2006, 12:51 AM

Originally Posted by Oneota

Aw, c'mon - aren't you supposed to be the "organ" guy?

Muahahahah

-t

iMOTOR · Mar 19, 2006, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by Rumor

because penis is good for the skin,

I've been telling women that for years.

turtle777 · Mar 19, 2006, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by iMOTOR

I've been telling women that for years.

Maybe YOUR penis is different. Think about it

-t

PacHead · Mar 19, 2006, 01:11 AM

Maybe they can charge his penis seperately with indecent exposure or something like that. That would be in addition to all of the other charges against his penis-less body.

MindFad · Mar 19, 2006, 03:27 AM

Originally Posted by PacHead

Maybe they can charge his penis seperately with indecent exposure or something like that. That would be in addition to all of the other charges against his penis-less body.

You shut the hell up. [/drunk]

itistoday · Mar 19, 2006, 04:21 AM

Originally Posted by Fyre4ce

Sounds like a PCP rampage. If you ever see one of those on COPS, watch it - you're in for a treat.

Interesting theory. It's either drug-enduced or he's just mentally unstable, and if it's the former, I bet you're right on.

PB2K · 04:35 PM

----

skalie · Mar 19, 2006, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by itistoday

It's either drug-enduced or he's just mentally unstable.

............or maybe had something to do with having a Polish girlfriend.

Just saying.

Personal opinion and all that.

( No offence Eva I still love you )

Corpse of Chewbacca · Mar 19, 2006, 09:38 PM

Velocity211 · Mar 19, 2006, 11:10 PM

Originally Posted by Corpse of Chewbacca

, Do we really need to see pics?

Corpse of Chewbacca · Mar 19, 2006, 11:11 PM

Yes

Velocity211 · Mar 19, 2006, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by Corpse of Chewbacca

Yes

Ok, but when someone happens to post a pic of this incident, please don't notify me!

rickey939 · Mar 19, 2006, 11:24 PM

Proud of....wait, no I'm not.®

Ghoser777 · Mar 19, 2006, 11:45 PM

This is why I will never do drugs.

ShortcutToMoncton · 01:38 AM

Originally Posted by skalie

............or maybe had something to do with having a Polish girlfriend.

Just saying.

Amen, brother. My Polish redhead experience was nothing but a two-week disaster.

greg

itistoday · Mar 20, 2006, 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

This is why I will never do PCP.

Fixed™

driven · Mar 20, 2006, 03:43 AM

This dickless wonder has got me to thinking ... how bad do things have to get before your brain says "hey, wouldn't it be a good idea to cut off my unit and throw it at law enforcement?"

turtle777 · Mar 20, 2006, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by driven

This dickless wonder has got me to thinking ... how bad do things have to get before your brain says "hey, wouldn't it be a good idea to cut off my unit and throw it at law enforcement?"

Nah, I have an explanation: The IQ of his dick was higher than the IQ of his brain. The dick said to himself: If I make the brain cut me off, I can be free and live a better life for myself

The rest is intarweb history !

-t