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ghporter · Dec 3, 2005, 09:55 AM

I'll start:

You can NEVER get all the crumbs out of the toaster.

What can everyone add to that?

dcmacdaddy · Dec 3, 2005, 09:59 AM

Liquid water is always wet.

//me got nothing.//

dcmacdaddy · Dec 3, 2005, 10:00 AM

Everybody's gonna DIE!!!!!!!!!!

//more uselessness.//

andreas_g4 · Dec 3, 2005, 10:19 AM

If it ain't broken, don't fix it.

So true.

hickey · Dec 3, 2005, 12:28 PM

you always look like an idiot when you get in Mac Vs. PC arguments at parties...

at least I end up looking stupid

Kevin · Dec 3, 2005, 12:29 PM

This thread will get derailed.

SirCastor · Dec 3, 2005, 12:50 PM

If anything can go wrong, it will

Oisín · Dec 3, 2005, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by ghporter

You can NEVER get all the crumbs out of the toaster.

Put it in the washing machine at 200°, and then the tumble dryer, that'll get rid of 'em all for ya.

tooki · Dec 3, 2005, 01:49 PM

A person may be smart, but people are stupid.

tooki

SVass · Dec 3, 2005, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by ghporter

I'll start:

You can NEVER get all the crumbs out of the toaster.

What can everyone add to that?

I have a "Michael Graves?" toaster from Target that has a removable slide tray at the bottom!

I made a few bucks a few years ago when I pulled my clothes dryer out from the wall and removed the change from below the drum. I did NOT find any socks.

sam

acadian · Dec 3, 2005, 02:24 PM

All food looks the same on the way out.

tooki · Dec 3, 2005, 02:56 PM

That's not true at all! Trust me, you can tell when you've eaten beets, corn, or that almost-black (that's actually blue) PowerAde.

tooki

TheIceMan · Dec 3, 2005, 08:15 PM

You may be around lots of people, but can still feel alone.

Salty · Dec 3, 2005, 08:19 PM

No matter how hard you try there will always be someone... who doesn't care.

f1000 · Dec 3, 2005, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by TheIceMan

You may be around lots of people, but can still feel alone.

Only if they're in your tummy.

TailsToo · Dec 3, 2005, 08:32 PM

Men will NEVER understand women.

hickey · Dec 3, 2005, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by TailsToo

Men will NEVER understand women.

Amen

BlueSky · Dec 3, 2005, 09:36 PM

A bush in the hand is worth two birds anytime.

jjlannoo · Dec 3, 2005, 10:03 PM

No matter where you go, there you are

Ken Mastεrs · Dec 3, 2005, 10:20 PM

All things being ballanced,
As long as we do good, we create evil.

-Me

OldManMac · Dec 3, 2005, 10:23 PM

Secretary not permanent until screwed on desk.

ghporter · Dec 3, 2005, 10:40 PM

Tooki's 100% accurate: NOT everything looks the same on the way out. Beets scared me silly once-I forgot that I'd had them and when I turned around to use the little lever, it was all RED!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! Oh wait... borscht has beets in it...

Later, a person very close to me needed to perform a "colonic lavage" prior to a colonoscopy. I can report that blue Gatorade definitely comes out blue!

acadian, your input is welcome, but it is a truism, not a Universal Truth.

SVass, my toaster is built to be very cleanable. I still have crumbs in it after I've opened, shaken, inverted (and shaken) and otherwise done everything except what Oisín suggests...mainly because I want to still have a toaster after the cleaning process is completed!

Person Man · Dec 4, 2005, 12:36 AM

Originally Posted by ghporter

Tooki's 100% accurate: NOT everything looks the same on the way out. Beets scared me silly once-I forgot that I'd had them and when I turned around to use the little lever, it was all RED!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!! Oh wait... borscht has beets in it...

Along those lines...

When I turned four my mother made a Cookie Monster cake for my birthday party. The frosting was definitely BLUE. She almost freaked out when I went to the bathroom and it was bright green.

She actually called the parents of each kid that attended my party to warn them!

Tesseract · Dec 4, 2005, 12:43 AM

If you eat a green potato chip, you'll die.

- - e r i k - - · Dec 4, 2005, 01:43 AM

Originally Posted by TailsToo

Men will NEVER understand women.

And vice versa.

Salty · Dec 4, 2005, 02:00 AM

I have fun explaining men to women. "Seriously I recognize that you think he should have thought to offer you a ride when you heavily hinted, but I promise he didn't mean to offend you... seriously he's just a guy."

keekeeree · Dec 4, 2005, 02:55 AM

That cutting-edge computer, iPod, etc. that you bought today, will NOT be cutting-edge tomorrow.

besson3c · Dec 4, 2005, 03:52 AM

Originally Posted by andreas_g4

If it ain't broken, don't fix it.

So true.

Sometimes this can mean "if it ain't broken, I'm not interested in progress or entertaining the potential to improve things", but overall I'd agree that this is a wise statement.

Cubeoid · Dec 4, 2005, 04:02 AM

Babies are stupid.

qnxde · Dec 4, 2005, 04:41 AM

Originally Posted by Salty
I have fun explaining men to women. "Seriously I recognize that you think he should have thought to offer you a ride when you heavily hinted, but I promise he didn't mean to offend you... seriously he's just a guy."

You can never hide who you really are.

Ken Mastεrs · Dec 4, 2005, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by qnxde

You can never hide who you really are.

Unless who you really are is worth hiding!

Paedophiles can’t help but love children, some just suppress it, others don’t.
I know a friends uncle, who after serving time, forces himself to stay away from children.

Athens · Dec 4, 2005, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by acadian

All food looks the same on the way out.

A food looks the same to a blind man

Cubeoid · Dec 4, 2005, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by tooki

That's not true at all! Trust me, you can tell when you've eaten beets, corn, or that almost-black (that's actually blue) PowerAde.

tooki

Yes totally. People in different countries have totally different diets and their poopie looks totally different. Very good post tooki!

Athens · Dec 4, 2005, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by Cubeoid

Yes totally. People in different countries have totally different diets and their poopie looks totally different. Very good post tooki!

my "poopie" can look different each end every day depending on what I eat. For example it was light brown today, yesterday it was dark brown and when I was eating a bunch of something that was blue I dont even remmeber what it was now it was blueish

Doofy · Dec 4, 2005, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by TailsToo

Men will NEVER understand women.

Speak for yourself. I understand them perfectly.

cmeisenzahl · Dec 4, 2005, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by tooki

That's not true at all! Trust me, you can tell when you've eaten beets, corn, or that almost-black (that's actually blue) PowerAde.

tooki

Haha, LMAO! ;-)

Oisín · Dec 4, 2005, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by qnxde

You can never hide who you really are.

Damn, you beat me to it!

Pendergast · Dec 4, 2005, 10:01 AM

The faster you pedal slowly, the less fast you go.

osiris · Dec 4, 2005, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by TailsToo

Men will NEVER understand women.

'Most men will never understand women' is more like it.

The rest enjoy them thoroughly.

acadian · Dec 4, 2005, 12:11 PM

I think you missed the point even though it was tongue in cheek, no matter what is on the plate in front of you, it will all look the same on the way out...

ghporter · Dec 4, 2005, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by acadian

I think you missed the point even though it was tongue in cheek, no matter what is on the plate in front of you, it will all look the same on the way out...

I understand better now.

Salty · Dec 4, 2005, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by qnxde

You can never hide who you really are.

However you always chose who you will be

.

DeathToWindows · Dec 5, 2005, 12:14 AM

Grant applications are hell.

TailsToo · Dec 5, 2005, 12:21 AM

Originally Posted by osiris

'Most men will never understand women' is more like it.

The rest enjoy them thoroughly.

Oh, I never said that men don't enjoy women... just that it is not possible to understand them.

SuvsareRetarded · Dec 5, 2005, 12:35 AM

Keep it simple, stupid. The rule of KISS.

Half the population is of below average intelligence.

SUV owners are ****ing retards.

SuvsareRetarded · Dec 5, 2005, 12:44 AM

One man’s “magic” is another man’s engineering. “Supernatural” is a null word.
Robert A. Heinlein

An armed society is a polite society.
-Beyond This Horizon
-Robert A. Heinlein

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
-Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love
-Robert A. Heinlein

The most preposterous notion that H. sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, withouT a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all history.
-Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love
-Robert A. Heinlein

We are never deceived: we deceive ourselves.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
-Voltaire

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
-Voltaire

A great many laws in a country, like many physicians, is a sign of malady.
-Voltaire

A witty saying proves nothing.
-Voltaire

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
-Voltaire

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
-Thomas Jefferson

In matters of style, swim with the current;_In matters of principle, stand like a rock.
-Thomas Jefferson

Most bad government has grown out of too much government. -Thomas Jefferson

Ignorance and superstition ever bear a close and mathematical relation to each other.
-James Fenimore Cooper

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-Oscar Wilde

The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.
-Albert Einstein

Man cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.
-Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
-Steven Weinberg, winner of the 1979 Nobel Prize in physics

Science has done more for the development of Western civilization in one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years.
-Jeff Burroughs

deej5871 · Dec 5, 2005, 01:08 AM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Science has done more for the development of Western civilization in one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years.
-Jeff Burroughs

"Napoleon, like anyone can even know that." -Kip

Eug Wanker · Dec 5, 2005, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

This thread will get derailed, into a religion thread.

T,FTFY.

Salty · Dec 5, 2005, 01:40 AM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Science has done more for the development of Western civilization in one hundred years than Christianity did in eighteen hundred years.
-Jeff Burroughs

What about the eastern civilization?

SuvsareRetarded · Dec 5, 2005, 01:43 AM

Why should you care? They're all pagans and going to hell according to your book.