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Amusing personal ads
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Doofy
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Jul 24, 2007, 09:58 AM
 
Since losing the use of the TV, Doof has taken to browsing the personals whilst eating breakfast in an attempt to understand how the average person lives/thinks.

Every so often, chance happens upon an extraordinary entry. Here's one today:

http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=OQB8B8K

I'm 47yo single loyal trustworthy physician not practicing investor now USA. Looking for a husband 21-34yo white single reliable monogamous decent has no children wants children with me only wants to talk to me all the time. Will make me a Priority.
Keywords include: "virgin", "white only", "professional degree only".

Click the link for a pic. Careful, all o' you 21-34 year olds, you might just fall in love.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:01 AM
 
Clicking on that link has to be one of my bottom 5 decisions today.
     
osiris
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:05 AM
 
Maybe Doofy's threshold of humor has been further reduced by forces not yet fully understood.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:06 AM
 
Originally Posted by Dakarʒ View Post
Clicking on that link has to be one of my bottom 5 decisions today.
You are now so hopelessly in love that you'll pine away and not sleep until you meet?
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:07 AM
 
If my judgement were that poor, I'd probably be dumb enough to call that one of the best decisions I made today.
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:10 AM
 
The outlook doesn't look very hopeful for the lady in question, does it?

What, with her ridiculous demands and those who do actually fall in love with her, like Dakar, denying it.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 10:14 AM
 
Our love is forbidden! by good judgement
     
shifuimam
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Jul 24, 2007, 12:19 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Since losing the use of the TV,
What?
Sell or send me your vintage Mac things if you don't want them.
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 12:26 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
What?
Yeah. It blew up. Didn't bother to get a new one because there's nowt worth watching anyways.

I'm not missing it.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Eug
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Jul 24, 2007, 12:41 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Click the link for a pic. Careful, all o' you 21-34 year olds, you might just fall in love.
     
shifuimam
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Jul 24, 2007, 12:46 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Yeah. It blew up. Didn't bother to get a new one because there's nowt worth watching anyways.

I'm not missing it.
Oh, ok.

I didn't know how old you were, so I thought it might one of those "my parents took it away from me for a year" kind of things, like my nutter of a mother did to me.
Sell or send me your vintage Mac things if you don't want them.
     
Sherman Homan
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Jul 24, 2007, 01:15 PM
 
Doof, if we all chip in a buy you a new TV will you promise to never, ever post such a link again? I know you have 512 channels and nothing is on, but even Spanish language soap operas have to be better than that.
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 01:22 PM
 
Originally Posted by Sherman Homan View Post
Doof, if we all chip in a buy you a new TV will you promise to never, ever post such a link again? I know you have 512 channels and nothing is on, but even Spanish language soap operas have to be better than that.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
design219
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Jul 24, 2007, 01:47 PM
 
She looks like she could rip you a new one if you did talk to someone else.
__________________________________________________

My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
     
analogika
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:07 PM
 
Originally Posted by Sherman Homan View Post
I know you have 512 channels and nothing is on
I believe it's 15 channels of **** to choose from.

And a pair of Gohills boots.
     
Sherman Homan
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:16 PM
 
Yeah but that was 1977 (and I think it was 13 channels of shitake)
AllFloyd.com - Lyrics to Is There Anybody Out There?
Now we have channels of Spanish language soap operas over-dubbed in Chinese!
     
analogika
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:19 PM
 
me: schooled.
     
Rumor
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:27 PM
 
I used to laugh at the personals in the Stranger, an Independent Seattle paper, until I can across one with the title "Pee on me". I never looked in that section of the paper again.
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:28 PM
 
Hot Carl wanted
     
Rumor
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:32 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakarʒ View Post
Hot Carl wanted
This would be a good time to post a pic of a golgotha demon, but I can't search images at work.
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:42 PM
 
what the hell is golgotha?
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:50 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakarʒ View Post
what the hell is golgotha?
Calvary - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Kevin Smith film Dogma (film) features "Golgathan sh*t demons." The reasoning behind this being that the Romans crucified many people on this mount and at the moment of death sometimes would expel their bowels onto the mound.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/mturd%20dogma.jpg
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:54 PM
 
Originally Posted by Rumor View Post
This would be a good time to post a pic of a golgotha demon, but I can't search images at work.
Trust me on this: Don't do a Google image search on the words "sh*t demon" with the safesearch off. Just don't. No.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 02:57 PM
 
This is all very disturbing.

Well done.
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 24, 2007, 03:01 PM
 
And so far, nobody has figured out that the thread is about amusing personal ads and subsequently posted additional examples.

Good going.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Dakarʒ
Professional Poster
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Jul 24, 2007, 03:05 PM
 
Blame me if you like.
     
Rumor
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Jul 24, 2007, 03:07 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakarʒ View Post
what the hell is golgotha?
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
Dakarʒ
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Jul 24, 2007, 03:11 PM
 
A chocolate fudge dragon?
     
osiris
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Jul 24, 2007, 03:16 PM
 
With marshmallow eyes.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Dave N
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Jul 24, 2007, 07:48 PM
 
A chocolate fudge dragon
With marshmallow eyes
Ahh, lyrics from one of my favorite Beatles songs...

Something I've found to be great fun is to peruse the match.com listings, trying to deduce how people's last relationship failed based on their self-written profiles.
     
Rumor
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Jul 24, 2007, 07:53 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dave N View Post
Something I've found to be great fun is to peruse the match.com listings, trying to deduce how people's last relationship failed based on their self-written profiles.
Your either really twisted or really lonely.
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
ghporter
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Jul 24, 2007, 08:30 PM
 
The physician in question seems to be of serious expectations...and without a single local friend who could take a decent picture of her. Holy chrome! It's like she read the book on how NOT to take a self portrait, and then did exactly as it said.

Her ad also seems to indicate "control issues" which could translate into some "interesting" interpersonal relationship issues. "Yes ma'am. Rub your feet, ma'am? Hot tea, ma'am? Should I wear the black collar or the brown one, ma'am?" You get the idea.

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
Kevin
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Jul 25, 2007, 07:21 AM
 
How does she expect to have kids at 47?
     
Doofy  (op)
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Jul 25, 2007, 07:26 AM
 
Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
How does she expect to have kids at 47?
I know.

Maybe she's telling herself that she's lonely and wants company, but in her subconscious she actually doesn't (scared or something) so she puts up all these ludicrous requirements.

I mean, how many 21 year-old blokes do you know who want to get it on with a 47 year old?
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Kevin
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Jul 25, 2007, 08:11 AM
 
Well I am sure she is financially stable. She maybe looking to be a suga-momma.

By the sounds of her requirements she has been one before, and not liked the results. She wants an OBEDIENT one now.
     
Visnaut
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Jul 25, 2007, 07:08 PM
 
She looks like Colin Mochrie, but quite likely isn't as funny.
     
   
 
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