[forkies]

Over Three Hundred Proofs of God�s Existence

which do you use to prove to yourself that god exists?

i'm quite fond of 6, 8, 12, 27, 28

there are plenty there, so pick your poison!

[Sealobo]

correction: plenty of jokes that prove god exists.

[itistoday]

Originally posted by forkies:
Over Three Hundred Proofs of God�s Existence

which do you use to prove to yourself that god exists?

i'm quite fond of 6, 8, 12, 27, 28

there are plenty there, so pick your poison!

wow. what a great site. so funny yet so true...
Believe it or not, these are this is the underlying reasoning behind all these superchi[k]en's/zimphire's...

[bobette]

OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

LMAO

[jckalen]

TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn't it complex?
(2) Only God could have made them so complex.
(3) Therefore, God exists

more proof that Steve Jobs IS god (my evidence? The 17" Powerbook and the G5)

[Tulkas]

Originally posted by itistoday:
wow. what a great site. so funny yet so true...
Believe it or not, these are this is the underlying reasoning behind all these superchi[k]en's/zimphire's...

Ahuh.

Okay, when you get some evidence that God does not exist then post. This childish trolling is pathetic.

[Sherwin]

There are only two proofs I need:

1) Permanently enlarged mammary glands in the female human (thanks God!).

2) Fry's Turkish Delight Cake. So lovely that it couldn't have been created by anything other than the hand of God (for those in the UK wondering where such a delight is on your local store shelves, I have no idea - I have a man on the inside).

[bobette]

Originally posted by Tulkas:
Ahuh.

Okay, when you get some evidence that God does not exist then post. This childish trolling is pathetic.

Lighten up Dude...

[jckalen]

Tulkas,

I will use your signature as proof that God does not exist... or... that you do not subscribe to "His word"

[MindFad]

MacNN is destined to bitch and moan about God, Windows, and Apple for all of eternity.

Therefore, God exists.

[Misanthrope]

Originally posted by MindFad:
MacNN is destined to bitch and moan about God, Windows, and Apple for all of eternity.

Therefore, God exists.

This is the right answer. Close the thread.

[thunderous_funker]

ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.



Funny stuff. Thanks for the link.

[forkies]

oh, come on mr. misanthrope...have a little faith in your fellow man!

oh, wait

[scoxx]

ARGUMENT FROM JESUS� TORTURE
(1) No one ever, ever suffered as much as Jesus did on the cross.
(2) No, not the victims of the Inquisition.
(3) No, not the women burned at the stake or hanged as witches.
(4) No, not all the people who died thinking they were going to Hell!!!
(5) Who but God would suffer like that for us ungrateful, unworthy humans?
(6) Therefore, God exists.



ARGUMENT FROM ASHCROFT
(1) I say God exists.
(2) I could have you locked up, you know.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

[neigh-neigh-woo]

He is here, dancing , what more proof do you need.

[awaspaas]

I like this argument:

'Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

'The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist say God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

' "But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

' "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

' "Oh, that was easy, " says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

'Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central them of his best-selling book Well That About Wraps it Up for God.

'Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.'

[jckalen]

Yes, Douglas Adams' hand was guided by God even though he poofed out in a puff of logic too.

[Face Ache]

Yes that's the problem with Douglas Adams - the deadness and all. Gets repetitive.

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by thunderous_funker:
ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.



Funny stuff. Thanks for the link.

Wow, I can't wait to start getting rich.

[- - e r i k - -]

Originally posted by Tulkas:
Ahuh.

Okay, when you get some evidence that God does not exist then post. This childish trolling is pathetic.

No, the burden of proof is on the Xians. Outrageous claims demands outrageous proof, to paraphrase Carl Sagan.

Excellent link forkies

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
Wow, I can't wait to start getting rich.

I wish I didn't have that free will thing holding me back or I'd fix that for ya. You're just gonna have to lie, cheat, and steal like everyone else.

[simonjames]

dik a saw I nehw god a dah I

[Xeo]

Originally posted by simonjames:
dik a saw I nehw god a dah I

oot em

[Montezuma58]

[MacGorilla]

ARGUMENT FROM KINDLY PSYCHOANALYSIS
(1) You say there's no God? Ah, someone calling themselves Christian must have really hurt you in the past
(2) Therefore, God exists

[- - e r i k - -]

Originally posted by MacGorilla:
ARGUMENT FROM KINDLY PSYCHOANALYSIS
(1) You say there's no God? Ah, someone calling themselves Christian must have really hurt you in the past
(2) Therefore, God exists

I've seen that reasoning here a couple of times

[- - e r i k - -]

Originally posted by forkies:
Over Three Hundred Proofs of God�s Existence

which do you use to prove to yourself that god exists?

Hey! You are guilty of this one:

ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exist

[asleep@thewheel]

please my children. loosen up. i do exist but am very tired of my children squabling...so tired. so very tired. hey i wonder what this button that says 'make the world go away' is for?

[chris v]

Originally posted by Montezuma58:

Awesome.

CV

[Lerkfish]

ROTFLMAO!

I'm extremely fond of:

ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.


ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) F!ck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


SLATHER'S ARGUMENT
(1) My toaster is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

I know this is humor (and its very funny) but it also contains a large element of truth...in portraying the character of arguments online.

[- - e r i k - -]

Here's a couple that comes up all the time:

ARGUMENT FROM EQUAL VALUE (PC argument II)
(1) Evolution and the scientific worldview is a worldview. Similarly, the biblical worldview is a worldview.
(2) You are not discriminating against our worldview are you?
(3) The Biblical worldview is as good as the scientific worldview.
(4) Therefore, God exists

ARGUMENT FROM WE ALL GOT FAITH
(1) We all believe in something.
(2) Therefore we all have faith.
(3) My faith in God is no different from your faith that the sun will rise tomorrow morning.
(4) Therefore, God exists

I have a good feeling religious debates are going to be so much more fun around here from now on

[Sven G]

Toothache is the proof of the non-existence of God.

... As someone (a colleague of my father at the university, when I was a kid) once said - thus finally settling centuries of useless philosophical debates!

[Xeo]

Originally posted by - - e r i k - -:
Hey! You are guilty of this one:

ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exist

LOL

[Superchicken]

Wow this post is almost as lame as all the other anti-Christian bigoted flame bait posts that come up here... good job, but you didn't throw in a naked Jesus graphic, better luck next time.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by Superchic[k]en:
Wow this post is almost as lame as all the other anti-Christian bigoted flame bait posts that come up here... good job, but you didn't throw in a naked Jesus graphic, better luck next time.

actually, I found it rather funny, and I'm a christian.

[thePurpleGiant]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
actually, I found it rather funny, and I'm a christian.

Me too

[awaspaas]

Originally posted by Tulkas:
Ahuh.

Okay, when you get some evidence that God does not exist then post. This childish trolling is pathetic.

As shown above, Douglas Adams would say they're all proof that God does not exist!

[BLAZE_MkIV]

How about this:

1. Person1 told Person 2 that God exists.
2. Person 2 told you that God exists.
3. You trust person 2
4. God exists.

Originally posted by Superchic[k]en:
Wow this post is almost as lame as all the other anti-Christian bigoted flame bait posts that come up here... good job, but you didn't throw in a naked Jesus graphic, better luck next time.

Dude, lighten up. You would think someone so confident in his faith wouldn't be so defensive.

[Lerkfish]

Excuse me, just passing through.

BTW, another non-religious person starting a religion thread.

moving right along...

[TampaDeveloper]

I learned a long time ago that theres lots of perfectly legitimate, intelligent conclusions that can be drawn from the endless volumes of literature created throughout history. One could spend a lifetime reading it all but will never find definitive proof or disproof of anything.

I've seen no evangelism on this board in my short time here (thats not to say it hasn't been done, but I'm not motivated enough to start searching through). What I see is alot of angry and defensive people; rightfully so when people are calling each other stupid or illogical.

Theres always going to be zealots on both sides. Nobody is going to convince anybody of anything on this board. Thats the way it is and will always be, so deal with it.

People who have tried to evangelize will tell you that trying to prove or disprove God is pointless. If people choose to believe or not believe, thats fine. Its a personal decision.

Its when people are violently forced to do something that is the problem. People have been forced into and out of religion throughout history. This forcing, spurred by anger and biggotry, is the real enemy. So no matter if you're an athiest, agnostic, or religious person, watch for that day. Oppose it whether its for or against your beliefs. Mostly, be ready for that day because, unfortunately, it will happen again. But don't spur it on by attacking the other side. It will do nothing but further damage the quality of our lives.

To summarize, nobody's stupid or illogical. There will never be a concensus on religious (dis)believes, so get over it and, if you have a problem, concentrate on yourself.

[Superchicken]

I wonder how many admins I could piss off if I do what lerk did?

[ZackS]

It only takes one. Go man go! Go GO!!

[Axo1ot1]

Piss Christ by Andres Seranno

hurray!

religious hard-liners suck!

Knock it off with the personal attacks. -TI

[aktive]

ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Therefore, God exists.


ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Because why?
(3) Because!
(4) Therefore, God exists




ROFLMAO