[wolfen]

So I'm at some mansion looking over some guy's little home network. It had some virus alerts and I was sent to deal with it.

Turns out, the virus thing was a wash. Scanning the /virus folder pretty much ensures you're going to get an alert about a virus. Duh.

But the porn thing happened, again. I'm looking over the home's firewall and noticing a lot of bikini/sextoy store/porn type sites cuming up in the log. Young Master Bates has turned 14, and the IT world is in on the tingles.

So by no coincidence Momma Bates says "My son's computer is not working properly and its really really slow. Can you look at it? And also, can you show me how to use this here firewall thingy?"

We proceed to have The Talk. I've had it quite a few times, by now. I show her the log and explain that it's no surprise his laptop isn't working right...it's all gummed up with Teen Cream. Ok, I didn't say that. I explained how to block/enable sites. They have a subscription service that probably blocks/logs about 1/2 of the nasty sites.

At least she didn't use the "Well I'm sure these links came from one of his friends" line. I almost bust out laughing when I hear that one anymore.

Anyway, her plan was to ambush her son with all her detective work and embarrass the SH*T out of him. I don't like that plan, but it's none of my biz. I leave before the poor guy gets home.

Anyone else out ther get caught by a militant mom?

wolfen

[John C. Smith]

one time i wauz masterbating and my mom came in and took an picture an put it on the inetnert and i never masterbated agin.

[:XI:]

Originally posted by John C. Smith:
one time i wauz masterbating and my mom came in and took an picture an put it on the inetnert and i never masterbated agin.

Was it recently removed?

[starman]

No, we used to have Playboy.

By the time online porn came around I was old enough to get my own .

Mike

[Ratm]

Bunch a di*ks!. the two of you . I wonder how you would have felt if you had people conspiring behind your back to shame you for doing something that is normal and healthy. I would have told little man how to maintain his comp and the rest is up to him.

Send the mother this link and hopefully she can sleep better knowing that he's improving his health by doing it.
http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99993942

[kmkkid]

Originally posted by wolfen:
So I'm at some mansion looking over some guy's little home network. It had some virus alerts and I was sent to deal with it.

Turns out, the virus thing was a wash. Scanning the /virus folder pretty much ensures you're going to get an alert about a virus. Duh.

But the porn thing happened, again. I'm looking over the home's firewall and noticing a lot of bikini/sextoy store/porn type sites cuming up in the log. Young Master Bates has turned 14, and the IT world is in on the tingles.

So by no coincidence Momma Bates says "My son's computer is not working properly and its really really slow. Can you look at it? And also, can you show me how to use this here firewall thingy?"

We proceed to have The Talk. I've had it quite a few times, by now. I show her the log and explain that it's no surprise his laptop isn't working right...it's all gummed up with Teen Cream. Ok, I didn't say that. I explained how to block/enable sites. They have a subscription service that probably blocks/logs about 1/2 of the nasty sites.

At least she didn't use the "Well I'm sure these links came from one of his friends" line. I almost bust out laughing when I hear that one anymore.

Anyway, her plan was to ambush her son with all her detective work and embarrass the SH*T out of him. I don't like that plan, but it's none of my biz. I leave before the poor guy gets home.

Anyone else out ther get caught by a militant mom?

wolfen

Why the hell would you rat out a 14 year old for porn? That's not cool.



Chris

[Ratm]

Originally posted by John C. Smith:
i never masturbated agin.

Yes you did don't lie . You probably masturbated yourself to your own pic....thats how much of a sick puppy you were.

[Apple Pro Underwear]

some people develop bad sexual habits both mentally and physically when denied the jerkin'


if i was a dad, i would teach him to treat girls right and leave it up to himself. i would also keep it away from the ol wifey to. girls don;t understand and if they do they're probably whores

[Jellytussle]

Originally posted by :XI::
Was it recently removed?

touch�!

[Dale Sorel]

Originally posted by John C. Smith:
one time i wauz masterbating and my mom came in and took an picture an put it on the inetnert and i never masterbated agin.

Link

[11011001]

Originally posted by kmkkid:
Why the hell would you rat out a 14 year old for porn? That's not cool.



Chris

Whether or not anyone thinks it's cool or not, I think he still had a morale obligation to the kids parents. I personally think he made the right decision.

[nonhuman]

Originally posted by 11011001:
Whether or not anyone thinks it's cool or not, I think he still had a morale obligation to the kids parents. I personally think he made the right decision.

How does he have a moral obligation to violate the kids privacy when the kid is doing nothing wrong?

[quandarry]

you are a mean person...i think you did it because of your own repressed homosexual desires and hurting 14 year old boys as they go about the normal things of puberty is your way of payback.

[Ghoser777]

Well, it is illegal for someone under 18 to look at pr0n. So it's not like the kid is totally without fault. Plus, the mom does have the right to say what goes on in her house.

I'm not sure if I want this to become a giant privacy discussion, but if you leave a trail of you doing something you shouldn't be doing, and you're caught, I don't think you should be able to hide behind privacy. This isn't a court of law or anything.

Could the parents go too far? Sure, but that's at the parents discretion.

Matt Fahrenbacher

[IEEE1394]

Originally posted by nonhuman:
How does he have a moral obligation to violate the kids privacy when the kid is doing nothing wrong?

I thought that Kiddy under 18 checking out pr0n was wrong

Although I still don't agree with the actions of wolfen, it'd suck to be in that situation.

[Superchicken]

Meh if the kid tell his mom his laptop's slow and porn's the reason... he probably deserves it...

[nonhuman]

Originally posted by IEEE1394:
I thought that Kiddy under 18 checking out pr0n was wrong

Although I still don't agree with the actions of wolfen, it'd suck to be in that situation.

illegal != wrong

Forcing people to be ashamed/embarrassed of their own sexuality on the other hand...

[quandarry]

Originally posted by Ghoser777:
Well, it is illegal for someone under 18 to look at pr0n. So it's not like the kid is totally without fault. Plus, the mom does have the right to say what goes on in her house.

I'm not sure if I want this to become a giant privacy discussion, but if you leave a trail of you doing something you shouldn't be doing, and you're caught, I don't think you should be able to hide behind privacy. This isn't a court of law or anything.

Could the parents go too far? Sure, but that's at the parents discretion.

Matt Fahrenbacher

yeah, but he isn't the porn police...he's a computer fixerupper.

leave it alone mind his business and do his job and don't get mixed up in family sh!t.

this isn't a case of national security or kiddie porn...but a kid with natural curiosity and wanting some 'spank the monkey' material.

[MindFad]

Came up again? Ain't that the idea?

[Superchicken]

Originally posted by nonhuman:
illegal != wrong

Forcing people to be ashamed/embarrassed of their own sexuality on the other hand...

You act as if sexuality is unquestionably moral no matter what the kind.

[Oneota]

Originally posted by Superchic[k]en:
You act as if sexuality is unquestionably moral no matter what the kind.

Oh, let's not open that can of worms, please!

[ghost_flash]

You ratted the kid out?

Man that sux. <Chris Farley>

"KILL WHITEY".

[nonhuman]

Originally posted by Superchic[k]en:
You act as if sexuality is unquestionably moral no matter what the kind.

Sexuality is. The actual act of sex, however, is not. Get your terminology straight.

But I'm with Oneota, this is not a discussion for this thread unless you intend to deal solely with porn/masturbation.

[wolfen]

I think the Mom's wrong for wanting to shame her son. But you don't stand in someone's living room and tell them they aren't raising their kids right. Not someone you met 5 minutes ago. Well, maybe some of you do, but I don't.

She was a very intelligent woman, actually. She had already found a bunch of pics in his temporary internet files, so the cat was out of the bag. The point was she wanted to learn about the firewall, and I showed her. In the process, I showed the logging feature, and this was one of the main reasons they had a firewall -- they have two young boys and broadband. That's a dangerous combination in many ways.

And I see this everywhere I go...the more crap people load on their machine, and the more pr0n sites they visit, the more they wind up with lots of junk on their machine they don't need. This was a genuine technical issue, unpleasant as it was.

Would you want your kid getting popup and email SPAM with lots of explicit pictures? I hope not. What about him visiting some forum or chat room where that stuff is traded? You want him chatting with 40 year old pedophiles plying him with sleazy pics? C'mon. There's also a younger brother in the house. Wanna turn HIM into a hardcore wanker, as well?

Some of that stuff is not just regular pr0n, either, guys. He's 14, and his parents have a right to shape the kinds of things that shape his mind.

All that said, I do not agree with the manner in which she wanted to confront the boy. But I just met her 5 minutes earlier. And I think she was still in a bit of shock. Meanwhile, do you walk into strangers homes and tell them they're F*cked up parents?

Also remember, they're quite rich. This kid gets tons of benefits year round that few people enjoy. He's a very lucky kid, and seems ok mentally to me. And they want to keep it that way. Frankly, the fact that he lives in a home where someone gives a crap about where he is and what he does was encouraging to me. I think he'll turn out just fine -- and my whopping 30 minute visit makes me more qualified than other people in this thread to judge that.

Chances are she'll do the wrong thing, and then do the right thing and it will wind up being a heart-to-heart talk. But you don't tell the computer guy that -- typically people like to boast about how hardline they are, not how gentle and understanding they are. So I wouldn't take to heart the idea that she's out to scar this kid for life.

As for me, I was super prude when I was growing up. No porn.


wolfen

[nonhuman]

Originally posted by wolfen:
She had already found a bunch of pics in his temporary internet files, so the cat was out of the bag. The point was she wanted to learn about the firewall, and I showed her. In the process, I showed the logging feature, and this was one of the main reasons they had a firewall -- they have two young boys and broadband. That's a dangerous combination in many ways.

Ah, in that case I agree with what you did then. To do otherwise would have meant not fulfilling your obligation to your customer to provide the best service possible.

[Cadaver]

[parent]
Face it, guys. The kid got busted. There are no privacy rights that extend to him - the kid's a minor, living with his parents, using his parents' computer (and screwing it up in the process).

The parents put a firewall/log in place to prevent the kids from accessing these sites. He pushed the limits and got nailed.

However, I do hope the mom doesn't get to tough on him. He's 14 and curious. Happens at this age. When I was 14, there was only Playboy. Now its 'net porn. Thing is, Playboy was not (and still is not) that big of a deal. Internet porn on the other hand can get way too hardcore for a 14 year old.
[/parent]

[Face Ache]

You should have deleted the porn and said nothing. Left the kid wondering who did it. Forever. Muahaha!

[phantomdragonz]

14? ..... late starter... anyways... I would have not done anything... my parents found my stash recently, my mom just laughed at me... and it had to happen while my dad, my mom, and her new assistant was here (my mom works at home and my dad is remarried)

yeah... it was embarrassing... but i am almost 18 (a little more then a month away) so I just laughed too... and how is pr0n dangerous?, I found out what the internet could show me when i was younger than that kid, I am fine, I treat girls fine..I have had a relationship with a girl, sadly just one, all the weird ones hit on me though... (although she could never commit!). I dont get it??? why does everyone think it is sooo bad???

P.D.

[Jansar]

If the guys in here say that they did not look at naked women when they were 14, they lie. So, in essence, that makes some of you hypocrites. Parents may be angered by the whole thing, but it's because they're finally seeing their little boys mature (I mean, little boys don't "like" looking at girls yet, right?). I don't know what possessed you to rat on the kid, though. To me, that's just wrong. When I grew up (I'm in a family of five), when someone ratted on someone else, surely the person ratted on got in trouble, but so did the person that ratted. It's silly and childish to "tell on someone," and what you did proved that.

[11011001]

Originally posted by nonhuman:
How does he have a moral obligation to violate the kids privacy when the kid is doing nothing wrong?

That's partly true. But, the kid is also under 18. He is not legally old enough to be accessing this stuff on his own.

So, there is a dilemma. I think it comes down to which is more important, the kid's privacy, or the parents right to know what their underage son is doing.

I am only 19. So I can understand how annoying having your parents snooping into your activities could be... but, I can also understand a parents desire to raise their child according to their morals. It's not wolfen's responsibility or place to decide how to raise the kid, that's the parents job.. and so the parents have the right to know.

[d4nth3m4n]

Originally posted by nonhuman:
illegal != wrong

so, therefore legal != right?

slavery was legal. and i doubt you would like to justify slavery.

[wolfen]

Originally posted by Jansar:
If the guys in here say that they did not look at naked women when they were 14, they lie. So, in essence, that makes some of you hypocrites. Parents may be angered by the whole thing, but it's because they're finally seeing their little boys mature (I mean, little boys don't "like" looking at girls yet, right?). I don't know what possessed you to rat on the kid, though. To me, that's just wrong. When I grew up (I'm in a family of five), when someone ratted on someone else, surely the person ratted on got in trouble, but so did the person that ratted. It's silly and childish to "tell on someone," and what you did proved that.

You should go on a talk show and spread your wisdom to the world. Really. You're wasting your talents.

That is, after you learn how to read.


wolfen

[ThinkInsane]

Originally posted by Jansar:
When I grew up (I'm in a family of five), when someone ratted on someone else, surely the person ratted on got in trouble, but so did the person that ratted. It's silly and childish to "tell on someone," and what you did proved that.

Let me make sure I understand, the kids mom should have punished wolfen, her paid, adult computer consultant?

[phantomdragonz]

who gives a flying f*ck if it's illegal... we have all done it, everyone knows most boys do it!


WHO CARES!!!!

I just dont get it...


Well, I do think the law should be what it is, because there are people out there that need laws to show them what it right and wrong, but still.... you had to tell his mother! if this were me I would have changed the logs, or something... sh*t, i would have send the dude some e-mail so he can get the high quality sh*t! I spent the last 5 or so years of my life finding the good sh*t that i dont have to spend a dime on...

P.D.

[RGB]

Yeah, the situation sucks, and I see nothing wrong with the kid looking at porn on the internet.

But -

Wolfen was brought in to fix the computer problem, and to keep problems from happening again. In order to do this, he had to tell the mother what was going on. He did his job, amidst a tough situation.

[phantomdragonz]

yes i agree... if the situation, was like... well here is your firewall... and the mother noticed the sites... no problem, show her how to block, whatever... but if he were to go up to her and say "you son is looking at porn" then that is not so cool...

Porn Aint BAD, the only side affect is some dead kittens

P.D.

[deekay1]

i would have hooked the kid up with some really good bookmarks and sent him a little email showing him how to get around the firewall!

He's a very lucky kid, and seems ok mentally to me. And they want to keep it that way.

...sure doesn't seem like it.

[Cipher13]

Originally posted by ThinkInsane:
Let me make sure I understand, the kids mom should have punished wolfen, her paid, adult computer consultant?

Uh, when, exactly, did he say that?

He said in his family, that's how it worked. Nothing he said implied that he believed that should have happened in this situation

[Developer]

Originally posted by Ghoser777:
Well, it is illegal for someone under 18 to look at pr0n.

I don't think it is. In Germany, it isn't.

[AKcrab]

The government has a right to determine when my child is "ready" to look at porn? All of you saying "it's illegal" should ask yourself why it's illegal.

[nonhuman]

Originally posted by d4nth3m4n:
so, therefore legal != right?

slavery was legal. and i doubt you would like to justify slavery.

Um, yeah. Exactly. Illegal != wrong and legal != right. Sometimes they correspond, and sometimes they don't.

Slavery is a perfect example where something is legal and at the same time wrong.

[tavilach]

Originally posted by phantomdragonz:
I spent the last 5 or so years of my life finding the good sh*t that i dont have to spend a dime on...

Bummer...Deathclock.com didn't predict my death to be that early. Well, at least you know you'll die lighter.

[- - e r i k - -]

Wether or not you question the morals of a 14-year old boy looking at porn. He WAS the computer guy and responsible for fixing the computer. If the porn was the reason the computer was malfunctioning (filling up HD-space, installing spyware) then it's his responsibility to clear it up and to prevent it from happening again.

[voyageur]

There's porn, and there's PORN. As a parent I'd make a distinction between just viewing some naked women and viewing hard-core stuff where violence is linked with sex.
Give the mom a little credit. Good chance she knows what she's doing.

[entrox]

Back when I was 13, I racked up a huge bill by calling those 'steamy' phone lines. What did my parents do? They axed my allowance for one whole year and my dad offered to rent out porn flicks for me. What did I learn from this? Offer the porn before my son racks up huge bills

I still think the OP was right. I was in a similar situation, but I didn't actually have the balls to tell on the kid. Especially since some of the stuff was sickening (hairy women? yuck!)

[deekay1]

Originally posted by voyageur:
There's porn, and there's PORN. As a parent I'd make a distinction between just viewing some naked women and viewing hard-core stuff where violence is linked with sex.

...guess what sort of peolpe mostly visit those kind of sites?

[SimeyTheLimey]

I can't help wondering what difference it would have made had the porn been gay porn. Would that shift the presumption that the parent has the right to know? What if the parent turns around and throws the kid out or beats him? Both do sometimes happen. I've met people who have been the victim of both reactions.

I don't think this is an easy question. Parents have rights and the responsibility to raise their children. But children are still people and ought to have some privacy even from their parents. I don't envy wolfen his job. It has moral dilemmas that I would find quite difficult.

[wallinbl]

See, this is why you have a daughter. Plus, I get to look forward intimidating the guys that try to date her.

[wulf]

Originally posted by Ghoser777:
Well, it is illegal for someone under 18 to look at pr0n.

As I understand it (and I'm no legal expert, mind), the onus is on the vendor. It's not illegal for someone under 18 to view it (or even to buy it, technically). However it is illegal for anyone to sell it, or make it available, to under-18s.

Hence all the sites with the ridiculous "if you are under 18, click here" links (which must qualify as the All-Time Least Visited Internet Links Ever).

[wolfen]

Originally posted by wallinbl:
See, this is why you have a daughter.

Last week one of my lawyer clients brought in his home machine for similar reasons: "It runs like crap." etc.

Turns out he has a daughter. This daughter had managed to download every piece of spyware I had ever seen...and then some. She also had a folder with about a dozen sleazy (and I mean REALLY SLEAZY) links in it. Hell, she had them categorized.

You see, when the OWNER of a computer says "I want you to show me how to find all the other user folders on my machine" you're supposed to do it. And when, during your demonstration of this process, you happen to stumble upon some unpleasant bits...Frankly, this stuff ruins computer functionality.

So the lawyer (a really nice guy) says "My daughter has a friend that I'm not too impressed with..." blah blah blah...c'mon, buddy. Your daughter's 13...it's time for you to actually talk with her instead of running away from the conversation.

But again -- I'm not the family therapist, here. I do what I'm paid to do. There have been several occasions where I stumbled onto these things and said nothing because it wasn't pertinent to my work. It is a moral/ethical choice that goes hand in hand with the fact that I can look at everybody's personal stuff everywhere I go. Sometimes I have to when I don't want to. (When someone leaves a company, I sometimes have to go through their folders and find anything work related so it can be backed up.)

All I can say is: Respect your IT administrator -- he probably covers your back more than you know.


wolfen