[Brien]

For ****s sake, I'm eating dinner and the damn doorbell rings, but since it's dark, I can't tell its them. UGH! Go away! Now!

So I spend a minute trying to not look like a jackass. "Yeah, uh huh, . "Sure, yeah." How intersting. Trying not to . ****! GO away! ****!

Oh, how I hate 'em.

/ end rant

[RooneyX]

Those guided by an angel by the name of 'Moroni'?

[ThinkInsane]

Just do what I do. Tell them to leave. If they persist, turn the dog loose. I don't go to other people's houses and preach, and I expect the same courtesy.

EDIT:
And this political how? Off to the main lounge it goes, and there it will stay until the flaming starts and it's locked.

[Axo1ot1]

When my mom was in high school some girl invited her home for dinner. After dinner her parents pitched the mormon faith to my mom and tried to get her to convert. She's hated them with a passion ever since.

[ThinkInsane]

I don't hate them, nor do I hate Jehova's Witnesses. I just find it rude and annoying.

[Misanthrope]

Just answer the door naked. They'll never come back.


















Don't ask.

[mac-at-kearsarge]

Although not a member myself, I had a good friend in High School who was.

One day I hear the doorbell ring and ther was my friend holding a bible. When he looked up and saw that it was I who answered the door his face turnwed redder then a boiled lobster. He took a deep breath and went into the speil. I looked over to the driveway where I saw his Dad standing there. I let him finish and politly declined.

The next day in school, he came up to me an apoligized profusly, explainign that he had to do it because his dad was watching. I told him I already knew that, and I wasn't mad at all (I had been having a hard tme keeping a straight face during it. Not because I was mean or thought it was funny, but I'm one of those people who laugh in awkward situations). I said to him: "Don't be embarrassed, you are who you are and there's nothign wrong with it". I haven't seen him since he's gone off to college.

THE POINT: There are a lot worse things they could be doing. Yes it can be as irrating as telemarketers, especially when your doing somthing. But, think about how much guts they must have to go around like that trying to sell such a 'personal' item.

or

You could take your cue from Robin Willims and come to the door naked, and when they ask "Have you found Jesus?" reply "No, come in and help me look for him!"

[RooneyX]

Originally posted by Misanthrope:
Just answer the door naked. They'll never come back.


Don't ask.

Yeah they will. They'll just bring leaves with them. One for your wife, one hundred and eighty for yourself.

[capuchin]

Y'know - mormons are about the only religious folks I have a soft spot for. I don't share their (or any other religious) beliefs, but damn it, I admire their dedication. Example:

I passed a couple on foot walking around our neighborhood a few weeks back, and they were still doing the rounds when I returned a few hours later. I live on a mountain with bad roads - even if you're in good shape, it's tough work walking around the neighborhood, and it was getting dark in a rural area with no streetlights. Yet, they were polite, cheerful, impeccably dressed and respectful when they came to my door (the white shirts, black pants and polished shoes impress me. The Jehovah's Witnesses are sloppy dressers).

I invited them in, gave them coffee and sandwiches, politely declined to talk about religion, and sent them on their way. Really nice guys.

[quandarry]

Originally posted by ThinkInsane:
I don't hate them, nor do I hate Jehova's Witnesses. I just find it rude and annoying.

j-dubs don't come to your door, they just stand on the street outta your way with their watchtower mags...

it's the evil mutant morloks in their white shirt and ties that bug at the residence...i think zimphire is one.

[bobette]

Here's what I do, 2 easy steps.

1) I say "not interested."
2) I slam the door.

Plus, occasionally, I use this variation which is quite potent. Since they come up a steep staircase to ring at my door, I answer from the window (that hangs above the stairs) so they have to lean forward into the empty and dark unconscious recess of their deep fear of heights. Works like a charm.

Also works on ex-cons, boy scouts and their friggin' cookies, and Jesus Freaks.

[Brien]

Well, I've calmed down since my initial post. I agree with ThinkInsane, in that I don not hate them, only the fact that they try to impose their beliefs on others. What I DO hate, is not less than a minute after they left, a telemarketer called... and I hav a telezapper.

[Zimphire]

We never seem to get them around here.

[Adam Betts]

I used to be a member of mormon church but later left as their practice is really bad.

But thanks to them, I'm not blinded by the faith anymore. I'm actually happier without any of religions bs.

[bobette]

Originally posted by quandarry:

it's the evil mutant morloks in their white shirt and ties that bug at the residence...i think zimphire is one.

Of course he is, the troll's a natural at it: pain in the arse PLUS he's always convinced he's right about everything PLUS buttinsky about everything.

I tell you he's a natural.

[zigzag]

They might be nice folks under other circumstances but I have zero patience for proselytizing. I politely say no thank you and shut the door before they get a word in.

I'm thinking of getting one of those signs for the door that says "Beware of Owner."

I wonder what they would think if I greeted them while swigging a bottle of gin.

[vmpaul]

Who buys their religion from door-to-door salesmen anyway? I only buy girl scout cookies and candy from kids looking to raise money.

How effective is this type of proselytizing?

[bobette]

Originally posted by zigzag:

I wonder what they would think if I greeted them while swigging a bottle of gin.

It'll give'em a reason to stay! Try the Jack Torrence approach:



Here's Johnny!

[bobette]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
We never seem to get them around here.

Probably cuz you're one yourself. Ya never see swindlers swindlin' other swindlers...

[vmpaul]

Originally posted by zigzag:


I wonder what they would think if I greeted them while swigging a bottle of gin.

Wouldn't make a difference. If you were a saint and had sparkles coming out of your a**. As long as you haven't drunk their kool-aid you're a heretic and a lost soul.

[Tulkas]

Ask them to read the Bible. Close door.

[Adam Betts]

Originally posted by Tulkas:
Ask them to read the Bible. Close door.

Hehe, what if someone's door isn't soundproof?

[bobette]

Originally posted by Adam Betts:
Hehe, what if someone's door isn't soundproof?

[nonhuman]

Open the door stripped to the waste with streaks of red painted on your chest holding a chicken and a knife. "I'm way ahead of you buddy". Close the door.

[Brien]

Or crank up the slayer and go to the door screaming in a satanic voice.

[Tulkas]

Originally posted by Adam Betts:
Hehe, what if someone's door isn't soundproof?

Hmm, what if indeed...

Play song "Highway to hell" full blast

[Tulkas]

Oh, for jehovah's guys get a small figurine of Jesus and sing "Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so..." as loud as possible.

They'll run like hell...

[MindFad]

They used to bug my girlfriend every Sunday morning and wake her ass up. She would just blast Slipknot or Manson until they left her section of townhouses. Then back to sleep.

[wataru]

I'm such a wuss I can never tell them off. I usually wait until they stop to take a breath, say "No, thanks," and close the door.

Last time they came around, though, it was two of the most Aryan-looking guys I'd ever seen. I mean seriously, they could have stepped right out of one of Adolf's wet dreams. While they were yapping I was thinking to myself, "oh boy, if they wanted to conquer the world I bet they could." I mean, the rest of us would probably be too lazy to stop them.

[riverfreak]

Originally posted by vmpaul:
Who buys their religion from door-to-door salesmen anyway? I only buy girl scout cookies and candy from kids looking to raise money.

How effective is this type of proselytizing?

VERY effective. It's the fastest growing religion in the world. It doesn't matter where I travel, from the jungles of ecuador, to a ferry off the coast of chile, to the streets of shibuye, I ALWAYS run into mormons. Oh yeah, lived in SLC for 10 years too.

[riverfreak]

Um, I'm certainly no defender of the Mormon faith, but has anyone here ever actually talked (that is, debated) with missionaries? You should try it sometime. They know their stuff and have heard every single argument and diatribe against the mormon faith.

As far coming to the door naked, or with booze, or blasting crappy glam-metal shock-rock, that ain't gonna scare them away.

Believe me, I've done all of those things too, including answering the door blitzed out of my gourd where I invited them in for a chat.

Wataru wrote...

Last time they came around, though, it was two of the most Aryan-looking guys I'd ever seen. I mean seriously, they could have stepped right out of one of Adolf's wet dreams.

See, the things is, that most mormons are NOT white. The population of the mormon church is exploding in africa, central and south america, asia.

Finally, Capuchin wrote

I invited them in, gave them coffee and sandwiches, politely declined to talk about religion, and sent them on their way. Really nice guys.

Indeed. I've known lots of cool mormons. I bet they didn't take the coffee. But they have an amazing way of steering the conversation towards religion. And just when you think you have them right where you want them, like "Just where in the he** are the stone tablets, huh?", they break out the pamphlets and schedules and stuff.

I can't belive I'm speaking up for the mormons, but hey, we should at least have our facts straight here.

[MorningStar]

No one can hate like me. Sorry.

[riverfreak]

Oh, one more thing:

If you think you are a little punk/inde rock/glam/goth/freak/whatever counterculture rebel, you should see the non-mormon kids who grow up in predominantly mormon cities. Now those kids are ****ed up!

Oh my heck! I nearly cursed! (you'd understand this if you know anything about mormons)

[Demonhood]

hang a symbol of another faith on or near your front door.

a buddha, pentagram, star of david, etc.. will do.

they will usually turn right around.

[dtriska]

Originally posted by riverfreak:
...blasting crappy glam-metal shock-rock...

Slayer's glam-metal?

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by bobette:
Probably cuz you're one yourself. Ya never see swindlers swindlin' other swindlers...

Nope, not one.

100% Silly.

Never been too keen on organized religion.

[Scotttheking]

At school they had a table at the clubs carnival. How they got in, I don't know.
Apparently they were supposed to be recruiting, but no one was. Their priest (or equivalent) asked them if they were trying to recruit people. They said no. I was the nearest person (raiding their candy bowl) so he invited me to their weekly game of volleyball. I simply replied, "only if there is beer."
The end.

[Cipher13]

If I see them at my door (I can see my front door from the computer room, which faces the road, and is a wall of one-way glass), I put my collar on, and crank Amon Amarth as loud as my amp will permit.

The collar has spikes of various sizes, interspersed with pentagrams.

I find a pentagram or a pentacle hanging from your door does remarkably well, also.

I then pretty much open the door, and tell them to **** off.

Every now and then, though, I have to actually have a go at them.

[mrfrost]

Originally posted by Misanthrope:
Just answer the door naked. They'll never come back.

You and your stupid advice! I just tried your approach when the doorbell rang. A voice said "Sir, we would like to sell you...." so I immediately ran downstairs taking my clothes of in the process. Turns out it were the girl scouts selling cookies.

That's the last time I listen to your advice pall, Im' the talk of the town now.

[Shaddim]

Mormons don't witness around here very much, too many shotgun wielding Southern Baptists.

The JWs are fun though, I've converted two of the young ones. One now attends the church I occasionally frequent, seems much more relaxed. The last time any of them came to my door it was two of their elders (guys in their 50s or 60s). We sat and talked for about an hour and I listened and then explained my position. They've not been back since, and this was about a year ago. I kinda miss `em. It was nice of them to send people for me to deprogram.

The best approach I've seen to getting rid of them has to belong to this pagan woman I know. She answers the door naked (she's pretty cute too) and ask them if they want to talk about religion or screw. I think she's probably "converted" quite a few herself. She commented to me not too long ago, "they keep sending me these handsome, verile, young men. God bless `em".

[catsank]

Originally posted by ThinkInsane:
I don't hate them, nor do I hate Jehova's Witnesses. I just find it rude and annoying.

Sounds about right.

Originally posted by MacNStein:
Mormons don't witness around here very much, too many shotgun wielding Southern Baptists. :)

The JWs are fun though, I've converted two of the young ones. One now attends the church I occasionally frequent, seems much more relaxed. The last time any of them came to my door it was two of their elders (guys in their 50s or 60s). We sat and talked for about an hour and I listened and then explained my position. They've not been back since, and this was about a year ago. I kinda miss `em. It was nice of them to send people for me to deprogram.

The best approach I've seen to getting rid of them has to belong to this pagan woman I know. She answers the door naked (she's pretty cute too) and ask them if they want to talk about religion or screw. I think she's probably "converted" quite a few herself. She commented to me not too long ago, "they keep sending me these handsome, verile, young men. God bless `em". :D

"Talk about religion or screw"

So you've 'commented'
with a naked pagan!

Is that a form of idolatry?

[willed]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
We never seem to get them around here.

Only coz you're always out doornocking!

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally posted by bobette:
Probably cuz you're one yourself. Ya never see swindlers swindlin' other swindlers...

Oh, jeez, knock it off.

It's bad enough when Z gets trolling - and God knows it happens -, but why the **** do you insist on trolling him?

I mean, if you're going to complain, you shouldn't be taking the first swing, right?

Boo!

-s*

[Shaddim]

Originally posted by catsank:

"Talk about religion or screw"

So you've 'commented'
with a naked pagan!

Is that a form of idolatry?

Nah, she's very pretty but too "skanky" for me. I prefer more monogamous arrangements. Besides, ritual coitus isn't really my cup-o-tea. Not only do you have to keep your partner's pleasure in mind, you have to perform for your god. That's too much pressure, IMO.

[daimoni]

.

[catsank]

Ah, the church of the latter
day saints...

Fell to my feet in awe.
I told her that her body
was like a temple. But she
said sorry, there are
no services today.

[vmpaul]

Originally posted by riverfreak:
VERY effective. It's the fastest growing religion in the world. It doesn't matter where I travel, from the jungles of ecuador, to a ferry off the coast of chile, to the streets of shibuye, I ALWAYS run into mormons. Oh yeah, lived in SLC for 10 years too.

More effective in 3rd world countries than here. I just can't see someone changing their religion because two guys knock on your door.

And they are trained to fend off any debate (some of my gf's family are LDS). Doesn't really matter though, the essence of their stand is still speculation and interpretation of a couple of books. If you don't take them as authoritative then it means nothing.

[vmpaul]

Originally posted by daimoni:


That said, how many in their upper echelons of management isn't White?

Well, it's been only fairly recently that they even admitted other races. The head of the Mormon church had a vision from god that it was ok to open up the church.

I think it coincided with the civil rights movement. Funny how that happens, isn't it? Gotta love peer pressure.

[ThinkInsane]

A good way to keep the Jehovah's Witnesses away is make a chalk outline of a body on your front porch and toss a bunch of watch tower magazines round. That should keep 'em at bay.

Who ever said about the Mormon kids walking around the mountainous neighborhood, I have to agree with you. I saw a similar, but significantly different scenario this summer.

I left work and ran up to KFC to get some dinner. This particular KFC is not in a good neighborhood. As a matter of fact, two days before, two people were gunned down in a gang shooting in the same KFC drive thru I was sitting in.

When I was pulling out to the road, two Mormon missionary kids were walking by. I said out my window "Man, you guys are in the wrong ****in' neighborhood." The one guy gave me a nervous smile and said "Yeah, can't you tell how happy we are about it."

I will say that the Mormons I have known never proselytize except when they are doing missionary stuff when they get to Brigham Young. Other than that, they were just regular people, doing regular things.

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by Spheric Harlot:
Oh, jeez, knock it off.

It's bad enough when Z gets trolling - and God knows it happens -, but why the **** do you insist on trolling him?

I mean, if you're going to complain, you shouldn't be taking the first swing, right?

Boo!

-s*

Thanks Spher, I think.