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BTP · Aug 13, 2003, 12:35 PM

Anyone have a suggestion for finding someone (birth parent) when all you have is a full name, age and a social security number?

_Very_ little to go on, no last known address, no phone numbers, just a name and SSN on a birth certificate. Hiring an investigator is preferable, but not an option for financial reasons right now.

Any help appreciated.

alligator · Aug 13, 2003, 01:27 PM

I assume you have tried Google.

The next thing is to make sure they are still alive. Try the Social Security Death Index. People don't show up there until they die. It's online for free.

After that, you might try property records if you know the county where they might be living. Some tools are online for free.

Other than that, try a major phone book search like questdex.com or any of the others you can find on Google.

I've never done this before, but I did find the best man in my father's wedding who he hasn't seen for 30+ years.

macvillage.net · Aug 13, 2003, 01:34 PM

Those are about the best suggestions there are in your case.

A private investigator pretty much does that... just has connections to get it done quicker, and on a larger scale (more databases).

Good luck.

IMHO an investigator is about your only option if you don't find anything with relative ease. Typically, it's pretty hard, from what I've read... but every so often, someone gets lucky. So it's worth the shot.

IMHO, I would check the city on that birth certificate first. Find relatives and friends... then work outwards.

You have a better chance that way. All you need is 1 friend, who can recommend a few family members, or more friends. Each step increases you chance on finding someone who still has contact. Even a friend hasn't seen your birth parent in 20 years, they may know 5 other friends... one of those might.

That would be my approach. Is use what you know, and work through, using all leads.

BTP · Aug 13, 2003, 02:08 PM

Alligator-

I did try the SSDI, and nothing was there, thankfully. Googled too. I saw a lot of places that say they will investigate for $39-119, but I have no idea who is reputable.

I have found less than a dozen listings across the US.

Robert-

I though of locating relative, but there are none to be found after 27 years.

I'll have to go the investigator route. Any suggestions..??

Thanks to you both!

alligator · Aug 13, 2003, 02:19 PM

How about letting us try? Can't hurt, can it? I have a few bookmarks for things like this.

BTP · Aug 13, 2003, 02:24 PM

I sent it to you privately. Thanks!

Lerkfish · Aug 13, 2003, 02:26 PM

You haven't mentioned your age (which could be significant).
If you are under 18, I'd suggest checking with your adoptive parents first.

That having been said, there are support groups for adopted kids finding their natural parent. I would go to one of these, as they could not only give you better advice on finding them, but also support in dealing with the situation once you find/don't find them.

misc · Aug 13, 2003, 03:49 PM

Yeah, you can send me the info as well, I'm good with this kind of stuff.

I know a few places that may turn up something. Instant message, private message, or email me.

boardsurfer · Aug 13, 2003, 05:26 PM

I work in a law firm that regularly tracks people down. I would be willing to give it a go if you want another hand. boardsurfer at sbcglobal dot net. If you have a State to start with, that would be really helpful too.

Alligator: thanks for asking, I am willing but wasnt sure it was appropriate.

Paco500 · Aug 13, 2003, 05:52 PM

One most likely illegal but effective way is to run a credit check. Name and SS should be enough. That should give you more info, but could land you in hot water.

Depends on your desperation level.

EDIT:

Let reiterate that this would not be legal and I'm not suggesting it. I'm just saying it would probably give the info you want.

BTP · Aug 13, 2003, 07:02 PM

Thanks for all the support.

Lerk, you are ever the thoughtful, class act. Tip of the hat to you, sir. And thanks. It is for someone very close to me and this has become an issue lately.

I have sent the info to those that asked, as I want to keep that info off the public forum. I appreciate the offers of help.

boardsurfer · Aug 13, 2003, 07:53 PM

You got mail. Good Luck!

Footy · Aug 13, 2003, 08:08 PM

Wow, sounds like someone has been located!

I feel I need to give adopting parents a cheer. My sister in law and her husband have just adopted a 3 month old baby a couple months ago (5 months old now). It's so great to see such big hearted people give a baby all the love they deserve.

And how about a cheer for those that give their baby up for adoption so that their child might have a better life that they may not be able to provide. That takes a pretty big heart as well.

-Footy

Originally posted by boardsurfer:
You got mail. Good Luck!

BTP · Aug 13, 2003, 08:39 PM

Simply an amazing bunch you all are.

The offers of help have left me humbled. Boardsurfer has provided me with the info in record time and several others have made offers to help and I thank you all.

It is an odd feeling to have so many people offer to help someone you don't even know. It is even more odd to find this in an area usually populated by spirited arguements over computer, religion, politics, cars and the many other lounge posts that each take on a life of their own.

To all of you my sincerest thanks. There is so more to the story and I'll let you know how this goes. It won't be for a bit, but sooner than later.

TI- Just saw your message as well. My thanks to you as well!

ThinkInsane · Aug 13, 2003, 08:53 PM

Hey, for all the bitchin' and fighting that goes on here, we're still a community, and we can pull together and put or differences aside for a good cause. Besides, flame-fests get boring after a while, and we need something new to distract us once in a while.

misc · Aug 13, 2003, 09:42 PM

Originally posted by ThinkInsane:
Hey, for all the bitchin' and fighting that goes on here, we're still a community, and we can pull together and put or differences aside for a good cause. Besides, flame-fests get boring after a while, and we need something new to distract us once in a while.

A toast to life?

*clink*

tintub · Aug 13, 2003, 10:48 PM

good luck!

well done boardsurfer

[edit: oh, and *clink*

]

boardsurfer · Aug 14, 2003, 11:43 AM

That was fun, and I got goosebumps when I found the record.

*clink!*

DBursey · Aug 14, 2003, 12:00 PM

Way to go, BTP! I've tried for years, without success, to find any info on my birth parents. Alas, I'm 38, and fear the trail is growing cold.

BRussell · Aug 14, 2003, 12:09 PM

Just a word of warning from a fellow adoptee-

Don't contact this person without really thinking it through. It could well be the biggest shock of his/her life, and it may not be appropriate to unilaterally initiate contact with them if they don't seek it.

mydog8mymac · Aug 14, 2003, 01:32 PM

Originally posted by BRussell:
Just a word of warning from a fellow adoptee-

Me too!
And that is good advice from BRussell. A lot of birth parents leave instructions about contact with the agencies with which they have placed children. I also advise gently informing your adopted parents prior to contact and make sure you're not doing it for vendictive or spitefull reasons. Remember after you make contact, things will never be the same again. You can't un-ring the bell.

Good Luck

gadster · Aug 15, 2003, 11:33 AM

I love this place, you people are amazing, 'I love youse all'.