[maxelson]

And I mean it. Now, we all appreciate style and whimsy. And the Demonhood gots it. Just locking a thread is SO banal. DH does it with a lovely little flourish every time. I mean it. This stuff is gold. And his comic timing is PERFECT. He ALWAYS jumps in at the perfect moment! Let's take a look shall we?

"welcome to pointlessville. this is your exit."

"this thread has lived far beyond it's projected lifespan. time to put it down."

"nudist/naturalist stuff isn't porn perse. but the fact that they're selling videos of nudists doing normal things is pretty suspicious.
if anyone wants the link, you can always email Zimphire. i'm sure he'd be super pleased to share what disturbs him."

"Emphasis added. Get over it."

"no threads about other members.
and please, no whoring."

"well, you see, it's like this:
a girl macnn and a boy macnn meet in a bar one day. they hit it off. girl macnn thinks the boy is pretty cute. so she agrees to go back to boy macnn's place for some "coffee". a slow dissolve to a windowed sunset later and macnn.com was conceived.
and yes, there was a custody battle (some would call it an attempted kidnapping) a year ago, but it was resolved without longterm psychological damage to the macnn child." (not a lock but DAMNED amusing- criminal not to include it)

"here is an example of my handy dandy locking tool. i even paid the shareware on it. "

"um...whatever."

"children children...shut it. now, we resume our regularly scheduled programming...."

"go somewhere where you won't be tempted to be annoying and off topic. or you'll end up going there without an account."

"that whole testicle thread threw me off. poof!"

And from the testicle thread:
"Lock, or not a lock?
hmmm......"

"blah blah blah, i was wrong.
blah blah blah, not really sigs.
blah blah blah, aaahh! my hand is on fire!!!"

Another favorite found in the "Anyone else hate topic Bumping?" thread:
"bump
oops, that wasn't the bump button"

Not kidding, folks. The finesse with which he wields the sarcastic undertone almost rivals the skill of Vonnegut. There is a comic genius of such subtlety at work here. Not to mention a philosopher and a scholar.
Please. Post your favorite Demonhood Quotes.
And be good natured about it, posters. I am of the opinion that DH is a solid dude and funny as all friggin' get out and I am in an appreciating kind of mood!
So, Un-named poster who's identity is well known but who's name will, in the interests of diplomacy, be withheld, this is not a place for you to hash out your ire. Start your own thread.

Today, we celebrate Demonhood.

[philzilla]

he's my role model on a board that i'm admin on

[ReggieX]

Agreed!

The emphasis added one killed me. Can't think of any others at the moment, too busy trying to not destroy my arms with them crutches.

[ringo]

Woo-Hoo! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
He doesn't just mod, he does it with style and humor.
I admit to clicking on locked threads just to read the one-liner.

[dav]

Originally posted by maxelson:

"here is an example of my handy dandy locking tool. i even paid the shareware on it. "

cheers to Demonhood

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[CaseCom]

Hear hear!

Even though he locked my testicle thread ...

Here's to ya D-man!

[philzilla]

Originally posted by ringo:
I admit to clicking on locked threads just to read the one-liner.

ha! so it's not just me then?


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[maxelson]

No way, man. I'll admit it. I'm a groupie! I CHASE locked threads! Good thing they don't move all that fast...

[scottiB]

While I always give dh high marks for managing the MacNN Film Festival, the thread-closure comments just add to my appreciation.

I must read more locked threads for a witty pick-me-up.

[chris v]

I've always been a fan of the rubber stamp images-- not sure whose doing they are, but the first time I saw the big "This thread is locked!" (Ka-Thump!) I got a pretty good laugh.

I read locked threads out of a certain morbid curiosity; was it an unacceptable topic, link, redundant, or did it simply devolve from meaningful, and insightful to two-man tit-for-tat flame fest? Then again, I'm always easily amused.

But I think Demonhood's got his work cut out for him with this bunch, and he handles it with panache and aplomb.

CV

[maxelson]

A non MacNN Demonhood original:
"Andy wonders whether anyone will notice if he takes a small bite out of CookieMan's sweet sweet skull."

Even out of context, it is pantaloon dampening material!

Sorry for the swipage, D. Couldn't resist!
Dammit, man, you a TALENT!

[Captain Big Trousers]

Originally posted by CaseCom:
Even though he locked my testicle thread ...

Ouchie!

Well if you can even forgive him that I have to say three cheers for Demonhood! Your efforts are well appreciated.

(but stay away from my testicle threads).


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[maxelson]

"...Phil had the last laugh. He had secretly replaced Christy's regular pickle with a bloody human liver. Let's see if she notices the difference..."

This stuff is KILLIN' me!

D- you got an agent?

[philzilla]

max, where are you getting this stuff from? care to share?

[cheerios]

Originally posted by philzilla:

Originally posted by ringo:
I admit to clicking on locked threads just to read the one-liner.

ha! so it's not just me then?

Me too. Morbid curiosity... That, and hope for another good closing quip. Demon, Very occasionally I lose appreciation for your work, but, in general, YAY!


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[Vanquish]

Maybe we can ask Zimphire to bless Demonhood ?

and 3 times hooraay for Demonhood !

[MikeM32]

I'll agree, Demonhood's a great mod, even if I've had my fair share of threads locked by him. I gotta admit he was right in those cases.

For some reason this image comes to mind when I think of good ole' DH


Continue with the smoke blowing

Mike


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[maxelson]

Originally posted by philzilla:
max, where are you getting this stuff from? care to share?

"With no parental guidance, the group began the unthinkable: sliding on their asses into a lake. Andy was the first to go, screaming "It burns!!!!" again and again. Yes Andy, sin does burn."

ROFLMAO x2!

OK. OK. I guess since it is on his publicly available profile, he wouldn't really mind, would he? I am getting this stuff from his website. Which is hysterical! Three guesses as to what the url is... and the first two don't count...


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[Demonhood]

awwww, shucks.
thanks guys and gals. i usually don't let just anyone stroke me ego. but hey, i trust you folks to wash your hands first.

carry on

[maxelson]

Oh, we will carry on!
Hey! Do the kids in your Quotes forum know about this? I'm thinking of registering and slapping them up there!
And, after wending about on your own site a bit, I am thinking that, while yes, your words here are killer, they do not come NEAR to your potential as a the quipmeister general.
Sir, I will expect to see some serious thought in those locking liners from now on.

(kind of like getting an "A" in math class, but getting a "C" for effort, huh?)

[daimoni]

.

[Ca$h68]

I think he's cool; but in order to offset this 'praise of admin', can I start an anti-wlonh thread?

- Ca$h

[philzilla]

Originally posted by Ca$h68:
I think he's cool; but in order to offset this 'praise of admin', can I start an anti-wlonh thread?

- Ca$h

So, Un-named poster who's identity is well known but who's name will, in the interests of diplomacy, be withheld, this is not a place for you to hash out your ire. Start your own thread.

i guess that's a no then

[scottiB]

More from dhood's quotes page(isweartogoodicantstoplaffing--icantseeicantseemyeyesarewatering):

dude, i was hitting that beer bong like a 4 year old!

while discussing stupid coworkers...
a: how's work for you? are you getting dumber by being there?
j: i'm so dumb now, I could be a professor. i'm so dumb now, i could draft a policy initiative. i could sit on the board of trustees. i could implement a campus wide email system... i am that dumb.

! ! ! !


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[Apple Pro Underwear]

"bump
oops, that wasn't the bump button"

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[3gg3]

Originally posted by philzilla:

- Ca$h

So, Un-named poster who's identity is well known but who's name will, in the interests of diplomacy, be withheld, this is not a place for you to hash out your ire. Start your own thread.

i guess that's a no then [/QUOTE]

Close, but no cigar, methinks. Some addict still sittin' in the weeds?


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[maxelson]

"no one has fessed up yet. and we've been noticing other UBB weirdness. so i'm gonna guess that UBB ate it. gobbled it all up.
i shall sacrifice a goat to UBB to make sure that this doesn't happen in the future. and since our infopop god will be replaced by vB soon enough, only one or two goats will have to die."

Just keeping the log handy, dandy and in one convenient location for your... um... convenience.

[Apple Pro Underwear]

" that's more than enough of that.
this is not an appropriate topic for discussion here. and before anyone posts a new topic accusing me of being a nazi, go reread the Terms of Service.
try asking your real life friends next time please. or Private Message someone. even AIM."
-Demonhood

This was in response to my pubic hair thread. it got out of hand quickly and he put the smackdown on it.

But hey, it distracted you guys from starting .mac threads for a micro-second that week...

[Xaositect]

{there used to be email addresses here. they ran away. don't look for them on the back of a milk carton anytime soon}

Quite a laugh, at least for me! If someone used one of the systems I am responsible for to do what was asked for, my immediate response would not have been so....kind. The self-control exhibited there is worthy of praise (tipping a glass to you, DH)!

[ReggieX]

Everything I wanted to say, but better:

"do us all a favor: take a deep breathe, step away from the keyboard, go to your medicine cabinet, and take a frickin chill pill."

[Xtopolop]

The stakes have been raised! Now I can't wait for a locked thread to appear. I hope no one gets the idea of starting threads that will surely get locked, just to hear another good one-liner.

Cheers to DH for his sarcasm and wit.

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[philzilla]

i just banned some dork on a board that i administrate. i fired off a last pm to him though:

you are the weakest link... goodbye

[maxelson]

Absolutely could NOT let this one pass:

"we're famous!! honey, get the camera!! we on the pooter box!"

Dammit, man. Having a party this weekend. Can I rent you?

[daimoni]

.

[scottiB]

The 'pooter box' line is funny.

Ah now Max, you've done it. I'm having a post-hilarity-Demonhood-quip-syndrome attack..must fight laughing outloud...must...must...not...

[maxelson]

"...with this thread locked hopefully we can all get back to what we do best. drowning puppies for fun and profit. or other things. whatever floats your boat."

DE-MON-HOOD!
DE-MON-HOOD!!
DE-MON-HOOD!!!

I promise I will never publish any of this stuff for profit without your express written permission...

[ReggieX]

Dang, I missd the thread with the pooterbox line. Ah well, I was witness to drowning puppies, and that's good enough.
Nicely done, sir!


Also, this thread proves once again that SOMEONE needs to go fix all the old thread that got hosed during the vBulletin transition. How about it, Admins?

[Mac Zealot]

Keep up the good work, demonhood, just make sure your boss @ work doesn't know what you do in your 'spare time'

[Demonhood]

since this is one of the few older threads that is still active, i'll edit the screwed up HTML so that it looks purty once again.

and i'm glad my attempts to amuse myself sometimes amuse others as well.

{edit}
there, all better now. even though it now looks like i've edited all the posts to make myself look better blowing smoke up my own...um....horn. i'm not that flexible, really.
{/edit}

[ReggieX]

[Timo]

Originally posted by Demonhood:
glad my attempts to amuse myself sometimes amuse others as well.

viva the demon in the hood

[maxelson]

I volunteer for the job of DH's publisher.

"if you people can't get along, i'm taking all your toys away and you can play in the sandbox with the diarrhetic cat."

[voodoo]

Demonhood is a five star admin and a solid humorist. Very patient with us schmucks that roam the forum.

[maxelson]

...And D? Where is that novel? Seriously. I am thinking you could give Chuck Palahniuk a hard run for his money. Whaddya got, 'cause I'm buyin'.

[elzinat]

what else is there to say? oh yeah, extreme jealousy among the staff regarding demon's worshipful following has developped as a direct result of this thread. he is now something of a pariah in the mod forum.
intended consequence, max, or a big "oops"?







>elz is sad that he hasn't an ounce of creativity or humour left in him.< <insert failed attempt at a joke here>
see what i mean?

ps. so these days the road to popularity is to be lock-happy, eh? interesting...

[IUJHJSDHE]

oww elzinat

We still love you!







We just love demonhood more!

[maxelson]

No, we love DH differently.
We love all of our mods equally. Each has talents (and, dearest elz, if'n ye showed up here more often, I would certainly be able to list them, as numerous as I am sure they are... consider that an invitation!). DH just happens to be the master of the sublime one liner witty-sizzzzsm. A true talent which I recognize and praise wherever I haps upon't. It does not suffice to lock even the most lock worthy of destructive, vile, bilious, sputum filled mess of anti posts. Oh, no. They must be locked with penache. With flair. With style and imagination. WITH DIARRHETIC CATS, fer crying out pete's sake!

[maxelson]

Topic: Gratuitous 1000th post
DH's reply:

let me help you blow out that 1000th post candle.
*huffs and puffs*
*candle goes out*
*total darkness*
*fumbles around looking for lightswitch*
*steps on cat*
MEEOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!
sorry
*flips random switch*
*garbage disposal churns, chewing up fine silverware*
*slightly glowing red button calls from the far wall*
*temptation is high*
*demonhood pushes it, because buttons want to be pushed*
*silence*

[sambeau]

Isn't it time this crawling thread was locked?.. isn't this much sicophancy againsed common decency...

I say lock it now.

with panache.. gusto.. shwaadeeveevr

[cheerios]

that one had me rolling :-D