[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by BlueSky

I tried that with a traffic-court judge once (really). Didn't work at all.

In my example I used someone who wants something from you. If you are trying to be arrogant (or insulting) to a judge, then I think you should wait until after the verdict

[VxWolfxV]

A guy i listen to on the radio in the morning likes to use "ass-clown"...

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Oisín

Hadn't heard this one before. Must remember.

I used to use it often in here.

[rozwado1]

I use "no-talent ass clown"

[Fred_Cokebottle]

boo boo head!

[mojo2]

One word.

"Canadian."

P.S. It REALLY helps the effect if they are Canadian.

(The irony of all ironies is that I was born in Canada, I think. I have nothing against them at all. Fine folks. Fine country. Lovely flag. Stirring anthem. Great neighbor.)

[Rolling Bones]

"You are a terrorist supporter or a US hater!"

[esXXI]

Foreskin-nibbler.

[Andy8]

"You cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters"

[Andy8]

biscut head

[Kevin]

sperm gurgling vulva muscle.

[Cubeoid]

Lymph Guzler

[Kevin]

7 Toed Monkey Fister

[Oisín]

Klovnejakke med balletgalocher. Made it up m'self, some time in the 8th grade. Still makes people stare at me like I just fell down from the Moon.

[mojo2]

I've never used it on someone (yet) but wouldn't it be just perfect to call someone a "Burp?"

Burp.

Cute enough to say to kids. Derisive enough to sate your frustration. Funny enough that it might catch on with others.

Burp.

[Y3a]

Ass Canyon
Pud
Clown
Foole
Maryland Driver!
Ignoramus

Old W.C. Fields one:
GODfrey DANiels

[Paco500]

Ass Wookiee

[Cubeoid]

Ass Canyon.. heheheh.

[Cubeoid]

I'm inspired..

Ass-monkey
Ass-bastard
Ass-face
Ass-head
Ass-man
Ass-guy
Asser

[acadian]

the coup de gras:

"$h*t faced ¢o¢k master"

[olePigeon]

Originally Posted by qnxde

Abuse Clerk: "What do you want?"

Client: "Well I was told outside that.."

Abuse Clerk: "Don't give me that you snotty faced heap of parrot droppings!"

Client: "What!?"

Abuse Clerk: "Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type really makes my puke - you vacuous, toffee nosed, mal-odorant pervert!"

M: Hello, I want to... Ooooh!
H: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
M: uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now..
M: Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
M: What a stupid concept.

[olePigeon]

Originally Posted by Cubeoid

I'm inspired..

Ass-monkey
Ass-bastard
Ass-face
Ass-head
Ass-man
Ass-guy
Asser

You forgot my favorite, ass-hat.

[rickey939]

Meany-head.

[jonn804]

"Frack head" = "f**** head" ..... thanks Battlestar!

[DeathMan]

Bo-daggit

[Mithras]

Come on people, respect your history! Consult the Shakespearean Insult Database:

How now, wool-sack, what mutter you? -- from Henry IV, part 1
Thou cullionly ill-breeding strumpet!
[Thou art] open to incontinency. -- from Hamlet
Thou crusty botch of nature! -- from Troilus and Cressida
[Thou] blunt monster with uncounted heads! -- from Henry IV, part 2

and the best one I read, though I really don't understand it:

Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese. -- from All's Well That Ends Well

[mojo2]

Once again, this is for use AROUND the little darlings as well as to be used ON them.

So, it has to be something they couldn't get you busted for.

It has to be something they can't mistake for something really bad, because they will say they THOUGHT you said a bad word even though you were careful NOT to say a bad word. So you can't even get close to obscenity.

Next, you want to use something where they aren't going to think you are a big DORK.

Long phrases said to a teen which have a reference to something beyond their IMMEDIATE frame of reference will render you a laughing stock the rest of the time you work there. The wrong word or phrase will ruin your chance of ever gaining or keeping the upper hand. They will be saying that phrase and making up all kinds of brutally funny put downs behind your back if you use the wrong one.

Here's two more which (in addition to "Burp") could be effectively benign but also surprisingly effective with the right delivery and/or the right time/timing.

Instead of BullShxx say, "BULL FROG" in front of the whole crowd when it's appropriate to do, in an instance of outrage, for example. Then, once everyone knows that BULLFROG = BullShxx, when you want to get the upper hand on any of the worst ones just call them, Bullfrog.

EVERYONE will know what you mean. EVERYONE will know you were able to 'swear' at him without actually swearing at him. NOONE will be able to do anything because you will have a toy bullfrog in your desk and a suitable story to explain why you are calling Johnny a BULLFROG.

You will be the envy of all the other teachers or whatever the adults are where you work. AND the kids will have to give you that look that says, yeah, Mr. XYZ, that was pretty cool.

AND the kid(s) you call BULLFROG will LOVE IT and will mind you!

It's a great word IF you use it right.

Another word to call a kid which you mustn't tell anyone what it means is CORN. Call someone just plain old, CORN.

As in, "a piece of corn in my poop."

[mac-kerouac]

You folks are a most outstanding resource. I can't wait to use the nerf herder one. Thanks for the help. Keep them coming.

[Rolling Bones]

I was warned by ghporter or whatever (a mod in the games forum I think) not to call a Mexican a Mexican.

This was in the pol forum.

[storer]

If you're young, Bogan works as an insult.

You could go to Shakespearean insults:
*You stuffed cloak bag of oats!
*You degenerate bastard!

Theres more, we studied them in English.

[Stogieman]

Sheepshagger
Doofus
Hoochie
Fudge Packer
Oinker
Jabroni
Rudy Poo Candy Ass
Gaylord
Tard
Twat - (Thank you Dane Cook. )

[Rolling Bones]

Originally Posted by Stogieman

Doofus

He's a member here.

[mojo2]

Originally Posted by Stogieman

Sheepshagger
Doofus
Hoochie
Fudge Packer
Oinker
Jabroni
Rudy Poo Candy Ass
Gaylord
Tard
Twat - (Thank you Dane Cook. )

I would check with administration, your attorney and a few High School Seniors before I used these around kids:

Sheepshagger - Austin Powers lets us know the meaning of "shag."
Doofus - Commonly known insult.
Hoochie - VERY insulting, commonly known (esp. for black girls). Could get you assaulted.
Fudge Packer - VERY insulting reference to gays, commonly known.
Oinker - Commonly known insult to overweight people, especially hurtful to teen who might do ?? as a result.
Rudy Poo Candy Ass - ASS will get you fired.
Gaylord - Commonly known derisive term esp. popular among heterosexual teen boys.
Tard - VERY politically insensitive. Firing offense. Lawsuit bait.
Twat - VERY insulting. Firing/lawsuit offense. Could get you assaulted.

Jabroni - Might be ok. Never heard of it before.

If you value your job, your health, your reputation, your future income and possibly your freedom, I'd advise you to stay far away from these words around kids.

[Cubeoid]

Bastard-face

[ShotgunEd]

butt-munch

[smacintush]

Wop-eyed dog-felcher.

[Ulrich Kinbote]

The best insults are those that the recipient feels, but cannot be sure, have insulted his intelligence. They leave him with a feeling of lexical inferiority (but he will smile, pretending to have understood), vaguely aware of having been insulted, but entirely unable to respond.

For this purpose -- depending very much on the person in question -- obsolete terms for mental retardation; psychiatric nomenclature and various foreign words may or may not be suitable.

It's a case of knowing your enemy.

For kids, cretin and dotard will probably do. While for your adults, you might try schwachkopf, or, shaking your head like a doctor making a diagnosis to himself, say: "a textbook phenylketonuric, very sad."

[ShotgunEd]

re-re

being short for retard

[slowspeed]

Aussie favourites...

Nuf-nuf
Wally
Drongo
Pelican
Galah

My vote is also with nerf hearder..... quality stuff

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Rolling Bones

I was warned by ghporter or whatever (a mod in the games forum I think) not to call a Mexican a Mexican.

This was in the pol forum.

As with almost anything, the way you say something carries a lot of meaning. Your post there was apparently intended to be derogatory and insulting-and it got in the way of what the whole thread was supposed to be about. I like to stay on one arguement at a time...

[ghporter]

I must first say that I try to be extremely sensitive to the problems encountered by people with disabilities. But I have on many occasions mentioned that someone I wanted to insult belonged "on the short bus" or "in special class."

In my experience most developmentally or educationally delayed people know full well that they lag behind others and don't feel "insulted" when someone notices they do indeed ride the special bus and go to special classes. But maybe some supposedly "non-delayed" people could learn a bit about politeness and propriety from those who work hard in their special class.

All seriousness aside, I stopped calling people mud brains because I began to understand that at that point I was actually insulting mud...