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sokukodo · Oct 8, 2006, 10:42 PM

not sure whether this is the right place for this ... I'm separated from my wife (who has a pc); she has been tracking my web activity ... how can she do this? is there an application that would enable her to snoop on me?

miacomet · Oct 8, 2006, 10:57 PM

I'm no expert, but I imagine that there are plenty of ways in which she could do that...

...by having pre-installed "snooping" software on your mac.

...by knowing your passwords to websites which you frequently visit, etc.

I'd change your passwords and think about doing a HDD wipe.

Also, if you could explain somewhat more specifically by what you mean when you say "she has been tracking my web activity", it might help.

sokukodo · Oct 8, 2006, 11:25 PM

I don't think she had "pre-installed" snooping software ... she got her pc after we separated; we've been separated a few months: as recently as two days ago, she calls and says, "i've seen you've been to (such and such) a forum. I see you've emailed something to ... "
I'm baffled.

Big Mac · Oct 8, 2006, 11:32 PM

If there is no malware on your Mac, and your ex does not work for the FBI, CIA or NSA, or your ISP, there's no way for her to be tracking you online.

sokukodo · Oct 8, 2006, 11:34 PM

That's what I'm thinking, or what I thought. But it's almost in realtime.

miacomet · Oct 9, 2006, 12:26 AM

She knows your forum handles. I'd assume she knows your passwords too.

Given all this, I'd change your locks on your place too.

sokukodo · Oct 9, 2006, 12:33 PM

Sounds like a good idea. Still don't know how she can track me in real-time. AND emails.

Andy8 · Oct 9, 2006, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by miacomet

She knows your forum handles. I'd assume she knows your passwords too.

Given all this, I'd change your locks on your place too.

Yes, change all of your passwords on everything! Make them less predictable and harder to guess.

Andy8 · Oct 9, 2006, 12:36 PM

Originally Posted by sokukodo

Sounds like a good idea. Still don't know how she can track me in real-time. AND emails.

Consider getting some new email accounts.

Chuckit · Oct 9, 2006, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by sokukodo

Sounds like a good idea. Still don't know how she can track me in real-time. AND emails.

If she knows your handles, that's easy.

By the way, you don't have Apple Remote Desktop or any other VNC server enabled, do you?

Visnaut · Oct 9, 2006, 01:33 PM

Are your email accounts POP or IMAP? If they're IMAP, and she knows your passwords, it'd be easy to see what emails you're sending by looking in the Sent mailbox.

So yeah, another vote for changing all your passwords before she changes them for you!

If that doesn't begin to address everything though, I'd recommend a network monitoring utility such as Little Snitch. I haven't used it myself, but I'm sure it would alert you of any unknown traffic.

Oh and nice catch, btw, she's a freaking psycho! If the roles were reversed, law enforcement wouldn't hesitate to slap a restraining order on you.

slugslugslug · Oct 9, 2006, 04:07 PM

If she's telling you that she's doing it, I'd recommend that you:

a) ask her how (maybe she wants to impress you with how clever/conniving she is)
b) ask her to knock it off.

But yeah, I'd guess she knows your mail password and has client software to check it frequently, so changing your password(s) is a good start.

sokukodo · Oct 9, 2006, 11:27 PM

But here's the thing that baffles me ... a lot of websites I've visited were AFTER we separated ... so she MUST have some kind of software that enables her to "see" where I've been almost immediately ... my question is: how can i know when she's snooping? I have my firewall up; she's on a cheap pc; it drives me crazy that she can do this ... this started AFTER she visited a lawyer ...

Frugle · Oct 10, 2006, 12:06 AM

you said she got her PC after you seperated, does that mean you had yours before? if so, it would have been easy for her to install a snooping program on your computer before you left..

I would backup your important data and do a clean reinstall.

SSharon · Oct 10, 2006, 12:13 AM

I would visit strange sites just to freak her out. Do some google searches for the best kinds of rope to tie up women.

sokukodo · Oct 10, 2006, 12:34 AM

LOL! SSharon ... i've done that! and she proptly printed up the fact that i was there and turned them over to her lawyer

Visnaut · Oct 10, 2006, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by sokukodo

my question is: how can i know when she's snooping?

Little Snitch. Just give it a go.

Though truthfully, I'm unaware of any snooping app for Mac OS X, let alone one as pervasive as you describe.

Are you behind a router?

Also, I can't comprehend what your online habits have anything to do with her legal standing. What is she after? To incriminate you in some way? To exert control through fear? Wow, if she's like this after separation, I can't imagine what she was like before you two went seemingly separate ways.

Jacke · Oct 10, 2006, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Visnaut

Little Snitch. Just give it a go.

Though truthfully, I'm unaware of any snooping app for Mac OS X

There are a couple, a search for "spy" on Versiontracker turns up Spector and eWatch, for instance.

I would also suggest trying Little Snitch. She seems crazy enough now, so odds are that she would've been crazy enough to install spyware on your system when you were together. If I were you I'd backup any important files and then completely wipe the HD. But you can try Little Snitch first.

Edit: and if you haven't done so yet, I'd get legal advice and see if I could get her charged with intercepting electronic communications.

SSharon · Oct 10, 2006, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by sokukodo

LOL! SSharon ... i've done that! and she proptly printed up the fact that i was there and turned them over to her lawyer

uh oh. maybe you should visit 1800flowers.com instead. Or sites on guilt and depression.
Or lots of dating sites.

El Gato · Oct 10, 2006, 12:01 PM

My old router would keep a log of client IP addresses and what websites were visited by each IP. So maybe she (or her lawyer) are accessing the admin site for your router (if you're using one). I would recommend changing the user name and password on that as well.

OreoCookie · Oct 10, 2006, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by sokukodo

But here's the thing that baffles me ... a lot of websites I've visited were AFTER we separated ... so she MUST have some kind of software that enables her to "see" where I've been almost immediately ... my question is: how can i know when she's snooping? I have my firewall up; she's on a cheap pc; it drives me crazy that she can do this ... this started AFTER she visited a lawyer ...

No, I would say, she just follows the bread crumbs you leave on the internet. Change all of your passwords, it's far more likely she has guessed your passwords than installed spyware. Make sure to use passwords she cannot guess!

sokukodo · Oct 10, 2006, 01:46 PM

Thanks guys! I'm gonna try the little snitch app, see what it comes up with. I don't have a clue whether I'm behind a router; I signed up for broadband when I moved in here and came from a dial-up (which is what she's using now) ... I'm in the process of changing all my passwords. I know there are password generators out there (I used to have one, but never used it) ... what gets me is that I know that she is NOT computer saavy; this has GOT to be the work of her lawyer. Here's the irony: I work for DoD, and she is tracking me BETTER than the government tracks this machine (I'm at work right now).
Richard

Big Mac · Oct 10, 2006, 02:20 PM

That's pretty damn ironic. Perhaps she's a spy.

sokukodo · Oct 10, 2006, 02:52 PM

I'm hoping that somehow I can find out how she's doing it (a light bulb just went off in my head: maybe SHE isn't doing the tracking, for she doesn't have the expertise; it could be someone else, and THAT person is simply reporting to her my activity. She's got a mighty slick lawyer ... ).
Is it legal for a service provider to furnish daily logs of it's customers? Doesn't there have to be some sort of court order? And can all this be done without my knowledge? She's on a fishing expedition to find incriminating information (emails, etc) with which to use. She doesn't give a rat's ass about forums: there's no meat there.
Anyway, Thanks for the insights, Macnn-ers!
RT

Big Mac · 04:01 PM

It's most likely illegal for two private citizens to do what you suspect may be happening, although I don't know much about South Carolina legislation on data privacy and anti-pretexting. One would think such a thing would be treated even more seriously because you are a DoD employee. I think that type of crime must be an unlikely possibility. Do you have any evidence that the problem may be at your ISP?

I think you should try what the other posters have suggested doing. Get a new email address, choose stronger passwords; an Archive and Install of OS X may even be a good idea. If she's still tracking you after that, then that would be surprising.

Chuckit · Oct 10, 2006, 03:51 PM

Depending on your contract with your provider, he may or may not have the right to show his logs to whomever he wants. I don't see why he would even if he could, though.

SSharon · Oct 10, 2006, 06:19 PM

for secure passwords you can go to grc.com/passwords

ghporter · Oct 10, 2006, 10:58 PM

And contact an attorney NOW. This is prejudicial conduct-there's no legal excuse for anyone to snoop on your Internet activity. Call an experienced divorce attorney and point out that this is going on-you may need to find someone who specializes in cyber-law as well.

kcramer · Oct 11, 2006, 10:35 AM

Perhaps it is some sort of game? If she is spying on you for a purpose, why tell you? It just gives you time to re-act. I'm not sure how your current activity is useful, but I'm not an expert on such issues.

I think one thing, that was only mentioned once that you should consider is to re-install from scratch. Anytime you think your system may have been compromised, any security expert will tell you the only safe thing to do is to completely re-install and from trusted sources. Just be careful when copy data back over. I would avoid anything executable and I would look over any scripts, although you may not having anything like that.

All the ideas of completely changing passwords is probably a good idea. You might want to just change all accounts period. For e-mail, you could consider forwarding the old stuff to the new ones. It might even work well to not tell her about the new e-mails if possible.

sokukodo · Oct 11, 2006, 10:39 AM

Thanks for the solid advice, ghporter! I've been trying to avoid doing the lawyer thing as these things tend to asuume a mind of their own once the ball gets rolling. And though I find her behavior repugnant in this regard, I'm prepared to watch her waste her money. I've been sytematically changing passwords at the websites I frequent, and while it's annoying, I see the need for changing them. This has been a wake up call in regard to the importance of changing passwords on a regular basis; I had even gotten into the habit of using the same password for just about everything: Not a Good Idea.
On a side note, I installed the "little Snitch" app., am not sure what I'm looking for: it shows me servers, but really, that doesn't mean a whole lot to me. I can't tell one from the other ...
RT

Uisce · Oct 11, 2006, 02:54 PM

If I were you I'd definitely be recording all her notes that she's invading your privacy. I can't believe she'd admit to it, but its illegal.

memento · Oct 11, 2006, 04:34 PM

but seriously - change your passwords (all of them) and do a clean install. You didn't answer if you have any kind of VNC software installed.

slugslugslug · Oct 11, 2006, 07:06 PM

Little Snitch should tell you what applications are trying to access the internet. So if you see something you don't recognize, try to find out what it is. I don't think it'll tell you about applications that are listening for an internet connection, which is what VNC servers do.

There are 2 common ways to run a VNC server on OS X. The first is to use the one built in to the OS, which I think only comes with Tiger (10.4). To see if it's running, go into the "Sharing" System Preference, click on the "Service" tab. If the list item named "Apple Remote Desktop" is checked, then a VNC server is running, and you can uncheck to turn it off.

The second big way is an application called OSXvnc. It's a GUI front end to a VNC server. Search your hard drive for it, and if it exists, launch it. It will tell you whether a server is running. If the server is running, click the "Stop Server" button, then go over to the Startup tab, and click the "Disable Startup Item" button if it's not greyed out.

goMac · Oct 11, 2006, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by ghporter

And contact an attorney NOW. This is prejudicial conduct-there's no legal excuse for anyone to snoop on your Internet activity. Call an experienced divorce attorney and point out that this is going on-you may need to find someone who specializes in cyber-law as well.

Yep. What she's doing is highly illegal. Also, try and get a hold of whatever printouts she's been making. She's printing out your own proof that she's doing this.

Raccoon · Oct 12, 2006, 08:08 AM

sounds like your using 2 different machines and if I suspect that you surf the same sites from at work and home.. So in order to catch this person you'll have to isolate and change your habits. You can start with home and follow the cable from your computer to the dsl box. CHances are, theres only one cable to the box and one more to the phone line. IF you find yourself looking at something with lets say 4 or more ethernet jacks (probably an http'able router that can be accessed and she's looking at the sites you goto, but highly, extremely highly doubt she can read your e-mail), that could be a source right there. (remove it or http into it and ensure remote logging is off, make sure she doesn't have a key to your house either (just a thought))
to log into your suspected router, goto system preferences:network:show ethernet and where you see ROUTER, http://that number and start clicking around for enable remote login and make sure it's off.

at work, look over your shoulder, you could have a traitor in the office and if this is the case, hehe, you may not be able to do anything about it without seeking legal action

so do your mail at home, surf the sites at work and see what she reports to you, then change up on her and do mail at work and sites home

that'll tell right there where to look.

Raccoon · Oct 12, 2006, 08:21 AM

forogt one thing, I noticed nobody mentioned TimBukTo (TB2), thats another independant remote desktop viewer. Search for that program too and disable remote logging or just take it out of the startup items and it wont wait for an incoming request because it wont be running to do so.

sokukodo · Oct 12, 2006, 10:32 AM

Raccoon: yes, I'm using two machines, one here at work, one at home. On the e-mail, I've changed passwords on four accounts. I don't have to worry about the Mail.app since that doesn't work anymore (any mail going to my Mail.app is forwarded to another account). Re: cable at home: as I have no phone line, there is a single line running to my TV and cable modem.
Memento: I'm running 10.4.8, and if I have VNC software installed, I'm not aware of it.
Kcramer: What she is doing is fishing for information which could be used against me in a divorce. I once had an ex-wife who stole my 4th step journal (any AA or NA members know what I'm talking about) to use against me. The judge ruled it inadmissable as it covered time prior to the marriage.

slugslugslug · Oct 12, 2006, 08:06 PM

Originally Posted by sokukodo

...
Memento: I'm running 10.4.8, and if I have VNC software installed, I'm not aware of it.
...

Richard, did you notice my previous post in this thread? It tells you how to check for the two most common ways that a VNC server might be enabled.

- - e r i k - - · Oct 16, 2006, 02:49 AM

Is she reading this thread too?

workerbee · Oct 16, 2006, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by - - e r i k - -

Is she reading this thread too?

If she was able to sniff the traffic, somehow had got access to the router, or (even worse) had some sort of keylogger trojan installed, I'd certainly presume so.

One way to make almost certain that online activities can't be followed would IMHO be to use some sort of SSH tunneling to some proxy for all one's traffic. I think this at least used to work with Anonymizer (even if they say it's windows-only), and also with the obscure cotse.net; both would probably involve some typing into the Terminal. Even with access to one's router, it would almost certainly be impossible to read URLs, let alone content, when traffic is encrypted in SSH (and does not use the router's built-in DNS).

sokukodo · Oct 16, 2006, 02:49 PM

eric: because of the huge number of sites I visit daily, she may be scanning a log ... the various tech sites, Mac sites, and everything in between would preclude reading every thread: I'm sure she's scaning a list for websites that may incriminate me in a divorce proceeding. And even if she IS reading this, I say: GOOD! Knock yourself out, sweetheart!

sokukodo · Oct 16, 2006, 02:52 PM

Interesting! I just attempted visiting cotse.net, and the government blocked it. I'll check it when I get home.

ph0ust · Oct 16, 2006, 04:18 PM

sokukodo,
the type of knowledge of your web traffic (e.g. visiting a site) is serious. not only have i recently gotten divorced, i also work in the information security industry. so here is a bit of advice you should seriously consider:

1) get your butt to an attorney asap. there is so much naunced law around this subject you have to get counsel. start off with a few consultations ($0-100 each with a decent-good attorney) to get your bearings and some input. utlimately, you need a solid attorney who is aware of this stuff. if she is spending money, accruing debt, etc. you are liable unless you are able to agree on the date of the separation prior to the spending. believe me... all this is a nightmare later.

2) go buy a router, since it sounds like you have your computer plugged right into the broadband modem.

3) once the router is intalled, format your hdd and reinstall everything. make sure you don't have auto-login enabled and that you require your password when the machine wakes.

4) at this point, you are behind a router with a clean machine. now go to every web site you have ever logged into and change passwords. also do this for all email accounts.

this may seem cumbersome or overkill, but it isn't. knowledge of things like a search on the web means you machine is hacked one way or another, so if she is able to know what you are doing in the detail you allude you need to immediately follow these steps. i also assume there aren't any other machines on your local network that can be compromised.

lastly, if you are using a wireless router, make sure you secure it with wpa security, preferably also turning off the ssid broadcast.

good luck!

El Magnificante · Jan 12, 2007, 06:07 PM

In my search for anonymous browsing options I came across this thread tonight.

What ever happened here?