[voodoo]

What nitwit executive decided it would be a smart idea to put together two of the most monotonous actors ever seen, as protagonists in a major TV series? Domic Purcell and 'what's-his-name' who plays his brother come off making facial expressions like Keanu Reeves on Botox through the entire series.

Luke Perry (of Beverly Hills 90210 fame) is a bloody character actor compared to those two dunces. The plot is passable - mindless of course, as seems to be par for Fox TV productions, but falls into the "astonishingly far fetched and full of plot holes" category.

The whole series naturally jumped the shark when they actually got out of prison and it stopped being a 'prison break' and became 'the fugitive'.

Lacking a one armed man and led by two square faced chimps the second season sucks at least twice as much as the first season. Which is quite a feat, let me tell you. The first season was frustrating enough with the endless stall-tactics of the series writers and the fantastically strange solutions chimp no.1 (what's-his-name) comes up with to get them out of the zoo.

Thinking back it reminded me of the pointless, always long-winded and often silly problems and solutions seemingly pulled out of the clouds (or more likely out of some writer's ass) found in Sierra's old Quest games. How long is that body tatoo thing going to save chimp no.1's ass?

Annoying main characters aside, the sidekicks aren't all that great either. The best actors are wasted on the criminals and the warden in season 1. All the worst actors signed up for the second season. Boy oh boy. I shiver to see what the third season will bring. I fear a 22 episode monologue-duel between the two monkeys..

King's Quest, Police Quest and the rest of the really bad games one played as a kid, not knowing better, not knowing that even for an adult most puzzles were completely illogical and their solutions probably came out of some crack-pipe.

If I may suggest a new name for these series. Prison Quest.

The one thing I fear more than a third season of Prison Quest is that Sierra makes a game out of it.

V

[Rumor]

I miss Oz.

[invisibleX]

Yeah, I know. Luckily I figured it out after the first 15 minutes of the one episode.

[voodoo]

"The actors who were cast as the protagonists Michael Scofield and Lincoln Burrows, were the last to join the main cast. Miller was chosen six days before the start of production and Purcell was cast three days later."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison_break

This explains a lot as well as it proves the producers are talentless hacks. At least the audience is stupid enough to watch this. The good news is they're gonna make the first 2 seasons 'chapter 1' of the trilogy.

<sigh>

V

[voodoo]

The Nazis are gay, the black are honorable, the latinos are sidekicks, there are no asians, the guards are bastards, the warden can teleport (I was impressed), the prison was designed so there's a backstage door to every cell that leads into catacombs that go straight to the roof (what retard designed that prison??), the prisoners are all really nice guys deep inside and some secret cabal in the government is behind everything evil..

That's it. I'm done with this crap series. Feel free to watch it, but this is so twisted and stupid TV series that it makes Married with Children look like a documentary.

V

[James L]

Originally Posted by voodoo 

the prison was designed so there's a backstage door to every cell that leads into catacombs that go straight to the roof (what retard designed that prison??)

That actually was pretty common in prison design in days gone by. It is exactly how the Alcatraz prison escape occurred.

If you ever get a chance to do the tour of Alcatraz (I highly recommend the night time tour), you can see the cell that Frank Lee Morris escaped out of, complete with the hole in the wall under the sink and the service corridor he got into to climb up onto the roof.

Here are some pics:





Truth IS stranger than fiction!

[Dakar²]

You sure seem to have invested a lot of time into something which you obviously knew sucked early on.

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by James L 

That actually was pretty common in prison design in days gone by. It is exactly how the Alcatraz prison escape occurred.

If you ever get a chance to do the tour of Alcatraz (I highly recommend the night time tour), you can see the cell that Frank Lee Morris escaped out of, complete with the hole in the wall under the sink and the service corridor he got into to climb up onto the roof.

Here are some pics:

http://www.alcatraz.cc/images/500/Al...cape_photo.jpg

http://www.alcatraz.cc/images/500/Alcatraz_escape.jpg

Truth IS stranger than fiction!

Wow.. thanks James L.. I wouldn't have believed this! Amazing..

Truth IS stranger than fiction. (although that teleporting warden in the TV series.. I don't know about that)

@Dakar

I sure have.. I've been watching this since july.

V

[kmkkid]

If you don't like it, don't watch it. I for one like watching it, it gives me something to do on monday nights. Plus, Wentworth Miller is Hot .

I don't see how prison break is any worse than House, Bones, 24, Law and Order, CSI etc. They're all far fetched, string you along shows.

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

If you don't like it, don't watch it. I for one like watching it, it gives me something to do on monday nights. Plus, Wentworth Miller is Hot .

I don't see how prison break is any worse than House, Bones, 24, Law and Order, CSI etc. They're all far fetched, string you along shows.

Hm this is probably true.. what annoys me about Prison Quest is it takes itself way too seriously. It would have been a fine 10 episode mini-series with Bruce Willis or something, but two seasons of a series that can't find the humor in itself is annoying.

The X-Files, for instance, were over-the-top serious, but never took itself too serious. That's what made it work more or less. CSI with Gil Grissom is absurdly over-the-top serious and knows it. The Grissom character is so funny..

I've only seen a few episodes of Law and Order, never seen 24, Bones or House. Sounds like I shouldn't, but I'm a big Hugh Laurie fan. I don't think I could hate anything he's in. He's just funny. Nothing he's in can take itself too seriously. Well, I've yet to check it out, but hey.

PS: You like men with square neandethal jaws, monkey head and no necks who are incapable of facial expressions??! (or is this guy just the exception that proves the rule?)

V

[kmkkid]

How is that Neanderthalic? His character is supposed to be serious, that's why they have no facial experssions. If you're on the run from the law/inside group are you going to be all shits and giggles?

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

How is that Neanderthalic? His character is supposed to be serious, that's why they have no facial experssions. If you're on the run from the law/inside group are you going to be all shits and giggles?

Hehe, well he's very ahmm masculine then. Square jaw and heavy brow. His is brother in the series is more neanderthalic than he is, I admit, but there is a slight resemblance when those two are seen together

My review of the series is not as eloquent as the one found in the Washington Post.. I wish I could write like that..

An old industry cliche maintains that "no one sets out to make a bad TV show," but it's certainly the easiest explanation for something as pitifully awful as this thing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...082801134.html

"Prison Break" deals with a vast and sinister conspiracy and also appears to be part of one. It's 3-B TV: Boring Beyond Belief, a hideous hybrid that even Fox publicity admits is an attempt to clone at least three movies -- "The Shawshank Redemption," "The Longest Yard" and "The Great Escape."

Although I and the reviewer seem to pretty much agree on the quality and entertainment value of the series

V

[Rumor]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

If you don't like it, don't watch it. I for one like watching it, it gives me something to do on monday nights. Plus, Wentworth Miller is Hot .

I don't see how prison break is any worse than House, Bones, 24, Law and Order, CSI etc. They're all far fetched, string you along shows.

Um, football? Or is PB on before/after?

[kmkkid]

Originally Posted by Rumor 

Um, football? Or is PB on before/after?

Yeah, cause football is so much more productive than watching a drama series

And isn't football sunday nights? In any case, I hate sports.

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

Yeah, cause football is so much more productive than watching a drama series

And isn't football sunday nights? In any case, I hate sports.

Monday night football man! The NFL *is* a drama series, in case you hadn't noticed

V

[Gossamer]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

Yeah, cause football is so much more productive than watching a drama series

And isn't football sunday nights? In any case, I hate sports.

They don't call it 'Monday Night Football' when it's on Sunday. And where did he make the claim that watching TV was productive? He's looking for interesting, not productive.

[Rumor]

Originally Posted by voodoo 

Monday night football man! The NFL *is* a drama series, in case you hadn't noticed

V

It is whenever TO is on the air.

[kmkkid]

Odd. I swear it's sunday nights when FOX is taken over by football, since I have to switch to global to watch something more to my likings.


I've heard of Monday night football, but have yet to see it on any stations I frequent.

[Gossamer]

You've mentioned you hate sports, so you probably don't hit ESPN too often.

[mac128k-1984]

I don't like it so I don't watch it. Life is too short to sit in front of the boob tube to watch a show that you don't like - actually it makes absolutly no sense to watch a show you don't like but hey what do I know.

[RAILhead]

I like it alright.

[OAW]

So what are you saying Voodoo? You don't like the show?

Seriously, I'm a big Prison Break fan. It's a classic David vs. Goliath story where the main character relies on his intellect to succeed instead of brute strength. He has his brother for that! It's action-oriented but it isn't mindless which is why I like it.

OAW

PS: Oz was an overall better prison drama. Shame on HBO for canceling it!

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by OAW 

So what are you saying Voodoo? You don't like the show?

In so many words, yeah

Seriously though, what was the FBI doing in Canada arresting that mob guy? That's a bit out of their juristiction, no?

How did the simian genius manage to arrange that, all from the comfort of his cell?

What was with the taperecorder when he could get out at night on the roof at will and observe the comings and goings of the guards in the yard?

What's with that Wigga kid who can steal anything? There's a brat who deserves to be sodomized! Instead the insecure sensitive kid got it and ended up killing himself.

What's with the woman doctor and her incredible lines in the show ("it looks like he's having some kind of seizure!") -- duh?

Questions questions and plot holes. The size of Wyoming.

The older simian was also a criminal who was going to kill some guy and since he didn't do it he's ok? What about his criminal past? He looks like a person who would end up on death row sooner or later anyway. Or as a protagonist in yet another badly conceived conspiracy show on TV (remember John Doe?)

The 'washing away' the sins and felonies of the 'heroes' of the show also gives a dubious message. The guards are evil, stealing and abusing, the cops are dumb and always a step behind and the government is the representative of the Prince of Darkness on Earth.

Damn. That's great television! (pardon the sarcasm)

V

[TubaMuffins]

I've been watching every episode religiously eagerly awaiting next week. I think the show is crap but it's addicive enough to keep watching. I tried explaining why I watch it to my friend like this. "It's like collecting state quarters, once you have the first few, you may as well get all of them even though it's a waste." You have to admit however that T-Bag is a great character, probably the only good thing about that show.

[kmkkid]

Originally Posted by voodoo 

In so many words, yeah

Seriously though, what was the FBI doing in Canada arresting that mob guy? That's a bit out of their juristiction, no?

How did the simian genius manage to arrange that, all from the comfort of his cell?

What was with the taperecorder when he could get out at night on the roof at will and observe the comings and goings of the guards in the yard?

What's with that Wigga kid who can steal anything? There's a brat who deserves to be sodomized! Instead the insecure sensitive kid got it and ended up killing himself.

What's with the woman doctor and her incredible lines in the show ("it looks like he's having some kind of seizure!") -- duh?

Questions questions and plot holes. The size of Wyoming.

The older simian was also a criminal who was going to kill some guy and since he didn't do it he's ok? What about his criminal past? He looks like a person who would end up on death row sooner or later anyway. Or as a protagonist in yet another badly conceived conspiracy show on TV (remember John Doe?)

The 'washing away' the sins and felonies of the 'heroes' of the show also gives a dubious message. The guards are evil, stealing and abusing, the cops are dumb and always a step behind and the government is the representative of the Prince of Darkness on Earth.

Damn. That's great television! (pardon the sarcasm)

V

Seems like you're just confused, maybe missed a few shows/weren't paying attention?. I've been following along quite well and know the answers to your questions. I'm not however going to catch you up to speed, because you don't like the show, so what's the point?

[real]

voodoo


One question if I may, "Do you like Lost"?

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

Seems like you're just confused, maybe missed a few shows/weren't paying attention?. I've been following along quite well and know the answers to your questions. I'm not however going to catch you up to speed, because you don't like the show, so what's the point?

No no, not at all. I have the entire series right in front of me now and have been watching it for a few days. I remember quite well and none of those questions have answers.

I don't like the series, but I'm not making any bad things up about it. It is bad enough as it is.

Believe me.

There are no answers to the questions I raised.

@real

I'm sorry, but I haven't seen any episode of Lost yet, so I don't know if I like it or not. I have yet to see 24 as well. All in good time. I download these things of the internet. They're not shown on TV over here.

V

[kmkkid]

Watch them again, cause every question you posed is answered.

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by kmkkid 

Watch them again, cause every question you posed is answered.

No.. and no they're not.

V

[paul w]

Since we're talking TV, none of this holds a candle to the Wire. You want quality, watch that.

[James L]

Originally Posted by voodoo 

Wow.. thanks James L.. I wouldn't have believed this! Amazing..

Truth IS stranger than fiction. (although that teleporting warden in the TV series.. I don't know about that)

No problem, it is an interesting escape.

Mythbusters did a report on the escape on one episode. This is a brief excerpt:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/196488/alcatraz_escape/

The king movie though, for this escape, is a Clint Eastwood flick called Escape from Alcatraz.

[turtle777]

I have only seen Season 1. Enjoyed it.
Dunno about Season 2.

-t

[voodoo]

Originally Posted by what_the_heck 

I have only seen Season 1. Enjoyed it.
Dunno about Season 2.

-t

Season 2 is more of the same innuendos. More stupid evil prison guards, really smart special FBI agent (Tommy Lee Jones clone), somebody's girlfriend getting married to the wrong guy (she'll marry anyone who asks), the simian brothers with a new plan (that tattoo is still working its magic), plot holes and unlikely events.

In short, it continues on the same track, insulting the audience and making it out is cons are really good guys, just misunderstood in a society where the government is pure evil.

V

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by voodoo 

cons are really good guys, just misunderstood in a society where the government is pure evil.

Cool, just like real life.

-t

[OAW]

Originally Posted by paul w 

Since we're talking TV, none of this holds a candle to the Wire. You want quality, watch that.

The best show on TV. Along with Dexter and Battlestar Galactica.

OAW

[Big Mac]

I have dabbled in Prison Break. I like some of the elements, but in the aggregate it seems like watching it simply isn't worth the time. Then again, there are very few dramas in my must see category.