[Link]

**** the South. **** 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the ****ing Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we ****ing founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that ******** about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the ****ing sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were ****ing blue-staters, ********. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the ****ing monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the **** out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and ****ing Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those ****ing stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for ****ing blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their ****ing Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this ****, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" ********s. **** off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being ****ing arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the ****ing cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so ****ing arrogant if I wasn't paying for your ****ing bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your ****ing Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a ****ing swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it�s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your ****ing orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It�s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal ****ing dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That�s right, mother****er, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It�s too easy, asshole, they�re blue states. It�s not your money, assholes, it�s ****ing our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own ****ing stop signs, assholes.

Let�s talk about those values for a ****ing minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you ****ing Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It�s ****ing Massachusetts, the ****ing center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that�s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the ****ing nation. Think that�s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are ****ing blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to ****ing guess? 10 of the top 10 are ****ing red-ass we're-so-****ing-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its ****ing part.

But two guys making out is going to ****ing ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we ****ing get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're ****ing towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us ****ing Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the ****ing Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is ****ing over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical ******** and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your ****ing convention in New York next time. **** off.

http://www.f-uckthesouth.com (remove that -)

[awaspaas]

Jesusland.

/USofC citizen

[UnixMac]

F@#% the North East and West Coast... while we're at it... Dam Godless Communists!

Latte sipping, old Volvo driving, Birkenstock wearing, beard having, vegetable eating, NPR listening, NY Times reading Kommie pinkos!

There.. got that off my chest!

[awaspaas]

Originally posted by UnixMac:
F@#% the North East and West Coast... while we're at it... Dam Godless Communists!

Latte sipping, old Volvo driving, Birkenstock wearing, beard having, vegetable eating, NPR listening, NY Times reading Kommie pinkos!

There.. got that off my chest!

Better add Mac-using to the list!

[ThinkInsane]

Originally posted by Link:
http://www.f-uckthesouth.com (remove that -)

You know, if both sides would get rid of asshats like this, people would probably get along a lot better. You would think by now, folks would realize that fanatics, and quoting fanatics, doesn't help their cause, it just makes them look like whinny little bitches. That ridiculous screed up their doesn't make the author come of as an angst filled champion of freedom, it makes in come off as an ignorant, irate dink. Just one guys opinion, that happens to be sick of both sides of this debate.

If the right and left got their extremists under control, and quit giving credence to all the foolishness they spew, this would be a much better place to live.

[maxx9photo]

FcuKin rednecks!

[Randman]

Gee, I thought ca$s had finally returned after reading the first post.

[andi*pandi]

Reminds me of a Dennis Leary-type rant. So, PC it is not... funny, yeah. To be taken seriously? Nah. But even in disturbed rantings there are grains of truth.

but you had to have your ****ing orange juice.

[Spliffdaddy]

Dubya

brought to you by: The South

enjoy!

[RAILhead]

Cool -- three times in two days:

snip

snip

snip

snip

What a bunch of panty-wastes.



That crybaby foolishness is getting a little old. Give it a rest, would ya?

[UnixMac]

Originally posted by awaspaas:
Better add Mac-using to the list!

the funny part is that I fit into that "liberal" mold... except my Volvo is new, and my wife drves it... other than that I partake in all of those cultured things... An I hate Walmart, country music and pickup trucks... just goes to show you can't stereotype.

[voodoo]

Originally posted by Spliffdaddy:
Dubya

brought to you by: The South

enjoy!

The South provided, Clinton, Gore, Carter and things like that too.

Now California is where it's at! Nixon AND Reagan. Eat THAT pitiful South!! (beaten to pulp by a single state heh)

[UnixMac]

Originally posted by voodoo:
The South provided, Clinton, Gore, Carter and things like that too.

Now California is where it's at! Nixon AND Reagan. Eat THAT pitiful South!! (beaten to pulp by a single state heh)

people are naive if they think that it's North / South etc...


Atlanta is more liberal than Bakersfield, CA.. it's not about N/S... it's about elitism vs traditional values.

[djohnson]

A little harsh you think?

[CRASH HARDDRIVE]

Is that supposed to be humor, bitter leftwing kook style?

If you�re going to fly off the handle on a hateful rant, at least get some facts straight. Someone should tell this person before he makes a bigger dope out of himself, that the original 13 colonies included Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. And that most of the southern states are not only over 100 years old, most are over 200. While he�s busy claiming the founding fathers all as north-easterners, I guess he forgot that most of our first presidents were Virginians.

And this guy has the nerve to assert that it�s southerners that are the dumb ones?


The conspiracy kook crowd seems to have come completely unhinged after this past election.

Guaranteed comedy relief for at least the next four years!

[Shaddim]

C'mon damnit, I'm working feverishly to help you whiners secede, and calling the good, decent, people of the South names isn't helping very much. Now, you can either simmer down and work with me on this, OR I'll just let you sit and stew in your own juices (and I'll be pointing and making fun of you all the while).

It's your call.

[finboy]

Originally posted by UnixMac:

Atlanta is more liberal than Bakersfield, CA.. it's not about N/S... it's about elitism vs traditional values.

[slow moe]

It's our fault you lost, but it's not our fault you suck.

[ironknee]

Originally posted by UnixMac:
people are naive if they think that it's North / South etc...


Atlanta is more liberal than Bakersfield, CA.. it's not about N/S... it's about elitism vs traditional values.

so once and for all, what is elitism vs traditional values ? Is it like Columbia Univeristy vs Texas A and M (or Devry) as a place for learning?

[vmpaul]

I didn't know which election thread to post this in but this one looks like it needs an ejection of humor the most. The Bush list is great but the Kerry one is kind of lame, except for#4 & #5.

Letterman Top Ten Lists:

Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Celebrated His Reelection

10. Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry.

9. Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills.

8. Thanked voters from all 59 states.

7. Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster.

6. Pretended not to notice his father's envious weeping.

5. Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions.

4. You know, the usual--watching wrasslin' and eating yodels.

3. Immediately started planning his 2008 reelection bid.

2. Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.

1. Asked for Laura's help with a very different bulge under his suit.

Top Ten John Kerry Excuses

10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.

9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.

8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.

7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.

6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."

5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.

4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.

3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.

2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.

1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.

[CreepingDeth]

So foolish, so young.

Point 1: There are 26 seats in the Senate that area that is the South. I think 6 Republicans and 20 Democrats long ago. Now it is the opposite. These are Yellow Dog Democrats now called Republicans.

Point 2: The South is expanding at a very decent rate. Don't forget that.

Point 3: Not only has the South done a reversal in less than a couple decades, your core constituents in most states has been shrinking by 1-2%. Bad news. Also, it must be noted a couple states such as NJ and Hawaii have had massive changes in voting habits. More conservative now.

Point 4: Battleground state PA is going to be a big player in 2008. PA margin of victory was closer than the victory in Ohio. The conservative base, from personal experience out in the central PA area, is very motivated. They will be voting in numbers larger than anyone expects in 4 years. It also might be noted that Arlen Specter, the king of the RINOs, is done for. He won by a razor edge, and now his constant screw ups will make him an easy one to battle. People are tired of his fake conservatism. He is more liberal that Lieberman, and in six years we will see what happens.

And finally, please stop pissing on the south. You've lost your base their because of your flirt with socialism in these past decades. And it looks like that won't be your only trouble spot.

One should be banned for such poorly used, repetitive use of the word f*cking. Sounds like the little basketcase forgot to take his meds. Come on DH, if someone wrote this in a post, wouldn't this be a big no-no?

Post Number 1700! w00t!

[DBursey]

You're right; the Bush top ten was the funniest.

Regarding #4 on Bush's top ten; can someone tell me what a 'yodel' is (I'm assuming the dietary kind, as opposed to the disturbing Swiss falsetto)?

edit: Nevermind. Google is our friend. ---> Yodels

[UnixMac]

Originally posted by ironknee:
so once and for all, what is elitism vs traditional values ? Is it like Columbia Univeristy vs Texas A and M (or Devry) as a place for learning?

It's the view of the vast majority of college professors vs the rest of the working world.

Reality vs. Theory

Human Nature vs. Social Engineering

Naturals Laws vs. Laws of Modern Science

God vs. John Paul Satre

etc...

[Joshua]

RealClearPolitics has a chart of the Bush/Gore election results versus the Bush/Kerry results. (link) Bush lost ground in only two states -- South Dakota and Vermont. Some of his biggest gains, though, might surprise you:

Code:
Delaware       +2.6%
Maine          +1.0%
Maryland       +4.5%
Massachusetts  +4.5%
New Hampshire  +0.9%
New Jersey     +6.2%
New York       +5.3%
Rhode Island   +7.0%

Maybe Democrats should stop worrying about the South and start worrying about the Northeast?

[Spliffdaddy]

If the NorthEast dismisses the Democratic ideology, then the Democrats are left to represent exactly who?

Michael Moore fans?

Greenpeace activists (aka, terrorist militants)?

French living in the US?

[rambo47]

Looks like some folks have yet to get over their bitterness at 4 more years of W.

Pretty good impression of Tony Montana, though.