[ctt1wbw]

Just got one via email, of course:

The Genie

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course,
> the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the
> biggest house adjacent to the course.
>
> The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go
> up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive
> is going to cost us.'
> So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm
> voice said, 'Come on in.'
> When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was
> all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
> near the pieces of window glass.
>
> A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
>
> 'Uh.yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
>
> 'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
> I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
> years.
> Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes.. I'll
> give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one
> for my self.'
>
> Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted
> out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
>
> 'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do.
> And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'
>
> 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
> 'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
> country in the world,' she said.
>
> 'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be
> safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
> 'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
> 'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a
> woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your
> wife.'
>
>
>
> The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both
> now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
>
> She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right.
>
> Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
> you, honey?'
>
> You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
> So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
> the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
> After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and
> looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your
> husband?'
>
> 'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
> 'No Kidding,' he said. 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still
> believe in genies?'

[KeyLimePi]

> Not
> worth
> all
> the
> scrolling

[boy8cookie]

Yeah, I laughed a little, but these "story" type jokes are more about the delivery, and your delivery was pretty bland.

[brassplayersrock²]

http://humboldt.craigslist.org/rnr/989335350.html

[mattyb]

groan

[Laminar]

[BlueSky]

A turtle and a salamander walk into a bar. Bartender says "What'll ya have?"
The turtle says "I'll have a martini, dry."
The salamander whips out his wallet and counts his cash, then says "I'll have a glass of water with maggots on the side."

The bartender says "We don't serve maggots in here, bub."
The salamander says "I'm not a maggot, I'm a salamander." The turtle laughs.