[TheIceMan]

I just wanted to get some feedback from the beloved MacNN community. Whenever I'm stressed or have something really important I need to do I usually brainstorm and jot down what's going through my mind. This is what I wrote:

So here I am, all done with school (finally got my Master's in Psychology) and looking for some adventure. I was working as a counselor but found myself slowly "drifting away." Not from my clients, but from work. Hard to explain. I'm not "burned-out", I just started feeling "Blahhhh." Blase, bored.

I've been thinking of going back to get a Master's in School Psych. because the better-paying jobs in counseling are in the school systems. I'm also considering getting a Teaching Certification and then trying to get into the school system that way (as a teacher).

But as I'm entertaining these different scenarios one thing keeps coming up -- Adventure/Excitement/Something Different. Ok, so that's 3 things. This explains why I kept trying to get into the Navy as a counselor (their ad about Adventure and Excitement did it). I think I'm gonna contact that Nova Group about the teaching English in Japan position. Now that would be something DIFFERENT! I just don't wanna live my life with any regrets.

Lately, it just felt like there's something missing in my life. If I could describe what I envision for myself these would be the things I would want :

1. Adventure- I'm living and working in some cool place & trying new things, like rock climbing.

2. Excitement- I'm dating and partying like there's no tomorrow.

3. Something Different- I wanna be living in a place that is "different." Dallas, Texas is getting mundane and dreary. There's no character to this city, no LIFE, no EXCITEMENT (from my perspective)! I'm yearning for more, much more...


Please know that this is just me rambling. I guess I'm wondering if others reading this have gone through anything similar. If so, what did you do or didn't do to resolve it? Thanks for your feedback or replies. I would love to get some perspective from those living outside the U.S. also. Thanks.

[permanent68]

Last time I was in the keys I met this girl named Stephanie on board this sailing clipper ship... She used to be a computer programmer getting paid 60k a year in Pennsylvania....but then she sold almost everything she had, and moved down to the keys, and started working on becoming a 'captain' of one the many sailing ships down in th keys.

Sounds like something you should do.

- Rob

[Face Ache]

I've got a friend teaching English in Thailand. It's got excitement, it's exotic, it offers adventure and it sure is different.

And you can live for a year on $3.

I think WilsonX said he was a school counsellor (if superchicken hasn't scared him off). Maybe he can offer some advice.

[version]

My friend Vicki was in a rut here in Scotland, so she took a TEFL course and went out to Japan to teach English. She had a crazy time there, she managed to jump down to Australia, and see the Far East on her time off.

[TheIceMan]

Originally posted by permanent68:
Last time I was in the keys I met this girl named Stephanie on board this sailing clipper ship... She used to be a computer programmer getting paid 60k a year in Pennsylvania....but then she sold almost everything she had, and moved down to the keys, and started working on becoming a 'captain' of one the many sailing ships down in th keys.

Sounds like something you should do.

- Rob

I guess I'm struggling with the same kind of thing, only I'm not anywhere near $60K. I'm lucky if I get $40K. On the one hand I feel like I should get a stable 9-5 job like my family expects. But, on the other hand, I cannot continue to ignore my heart wanting something different. *Sigh* This is hard. I'm not complaining, I'm just having the hardest time trying to decide.

[mitchell_pgh]

Originally posted by TheIceMan:
I guess I'm struggling with the same kind of thing, only I'm not anywhere near $60K. I'm lucky if I get $40K. On the one hand I feel like I should get a stable 9-5 job like my family expects. But, on the other hand, I cannot continue to ignore my heart wanting something different. *Sigh* This is hard. I'm not complaining, I'm just having the hardest time trying to decide.

It sounds like if you DON'T do something exotic, you will regret it. Few people are pissed that they didn't "settle down" earlier in life, but you always hear of the opposite.

How about this: Stop Plotting Out Your Life On A God D@mn Calendar...

Ok, that was a little harsh, but you get the point. PS Rock Climbing is for rock geeks... I did it in college and thought it would be cool... WRONG

[Zimphire]

I know a gal that used to be a good graphics designer.

Then she started smoking crack, sold all her possessions, lost most of her teeth, and is now living with a abuser that beats and sexually abuses her daily. She stays with him because he gives her free crack.

It's all about your priorities.

I don't think making 60k a year will actually make you happy.

Being happy with what you do probably will.

[Superchicken]

Our Christian group sponcer was a councelor, by the end of it she said the only reason she didn't want to retire was because she loved the group so much.

It is actually really depressing working as a school councelor from what I gather. I mean what do you deal with all day, constantly trying to solve people's problems, and these arn't little problems, and most of the time you can't do anything, becuase well the laws won't let you, and you can't even TELL the kid to do something a lot of the time. You just have to be there for them, it's incredibly hard to deal with and it requires a special kind of person. I dout it's for you from the sounds of it.

I have heard good things about english teaching in Japan though

[typoon]

Originally posted by TheIceMan:
I just wanted to get some feedback from the beloved MacNN community. Whenever I'm stressed or have something really important I need to do I usually brainstorm and jot down what's going through my mind. This is what I wrote:

So here I am, all done with school (finally got my Master's in Psychology) and looking for some adventure. I was working as a counselor but found myself slowly "drifting away." Not from my clients, but from work. Hard to explain. I'm not "burned-out", I just started feeling "Blahhhh." Blase, bored.

I've been thinking of going back to get a Master's in School Psych. because the better-paying jobs in counseling are in the school systems. I'm also considering getting a Teaching Certification and then trying to get into the school system that way (as a teacher).

But as I'm entertaining these different scenarios one thing keeps coming up -- Adventure/Excitement/Something Different. Ok, so that's 3 things. This explains why I kept trying to get into the Navy as a counselor (their ad about Adventure and Excitement did it). I think I'm gonna contact that Nova Group about the teaching English in Japan position. Now that would be something DIFFERENT! I just don't wanna live my life with any regrets.

Lately, it just felt like there's something missing in my life. If I could describe what I envision for myself these would be the things I would want :

1. Adventure- I'm living and working in some cool place & trying new things, like rock climbing.

2. Excitement- I'm dating and partying like there's no tomorrow.

3. Something Different- I wanna be living in a place that is "different." Dallas, Texas is getting mundane and dreary. There's no character to this city, no LIFE, no EXCITEMENT (from my perspective)! I'm yearning for more, much more...


Please know that this is just me rambling. I guess I'm wondering if others reading this have gone through anything similar. If so, what did you do or didn't do to resolve it? Thanks for your feedback or replies. I would love to get some perspective from those living outside the U.S. also. Thanks.

Take a year off and travel. DO something totally crazy like Hike the entire Appalachian trail from Georgia to Maine. Just up and move to someplace else and see if you can do something else.

[TheIceMan]

typoon:
I think that may just be the thing I'm looking for.

Superchic[k]en:
I really like being a counselor. My point is that I feel like I'm "missing out on life's adventures." Also, can you tell me more about what you have heard about teaching English in Japan?

Zimphire:
Agreed, it is about priorities.

mitchell_pgh:
"Stop Plotting Out Your Life On A God D@mn Calendar..."
Hehehe. Actually, I needed to hear that. And yes, I was plotting things on my "To Do List."

Thanks all for your feedback. I found some inspiring quotes which I think applies to me very well.

For of all sad words of tongue or pen
The saddest are these: It might have been!
-John Greenleaf Whittier

Get busy living or get busy dying. -The Shawshank Redemption

[milf]

I know exactly what you're going through. May I ask how old you are? I graduated just last year and am well off compared to others that graduated from my school in terms of first even having a job and second the amount of money I make at my age. I posted a tidbit in a post of my own that I think goes along with what you've written here. It's frustrating, I know.

I wish I had the balls to sell everything and just up and leave. I'm hoping one day soon I will, but for now, I'm not entirely sure if I'm ready to leave what I've earned all behind for something that is uncertain.

Do you think about the future when you ponder over your life of excitement and adventure? I doubt I'd regret spending the next years doing exactly what I want with my life and being happy as opposed to sitting in an office all day to make the cash. But then I think about some day having a family and the responsibilities that come with it. Not having money saved for their education (etc.) from my current job is something I could look back on and regret later in life, but should it be at the expense of my own enjoyment/fulfillment at my current stage in life?

I want more from my life than just sitting around in an office all day staring at a computer screen.

[TheIceMan]

milf:
Wow. I read your post. And it is almost exactly what I'm going through also.

The pay is good, my coworkers are all cool, and I'm in a situation that provides good job security, but I still occasionally dread coming in to work. You're probably saying, 'Oh, everyone will dread going to work now and then', which I agree with, but for me, I dread going to work because I feel like I'm wasting time. I feel like these are the years I should be doing what interests me. I sit in an office for 8-10 hours a day working with a computer. I can think of a hand full of things I'd much rather be doing, that'd I'd enjoy at least twice as much. I have other aspirations I'd like to persue, but I fear the chance of losing everything I currently have. Make sense? Is this reasonable?

Is it the 'Quarter Life Crisis' where you feel suspended in mid air with no certain direction in your life?"

Ok let's see if I can answer some of your questions. I'm 32, turning 33 in 3 months. However, I am blessed with that "Michael J. Fox youthfulness" so everyone thinks I'm in my early 20's.

Like you, I often struggle with what I want and "providing for myself and my future family." For good or bad, I wasn't even making $30K/yr so I'm not "losing" out on any great salary.

Do you think about the future when you ponder over your life of excitement and adventure...I think about some day having a family and the responsibilities that come with it. Not having money saved for their education (etc.) from my current job is something I could look back on and regret later in life, but should it be at the expense of my own enjoyment/fulfillment at my current stage in life?

Yes. You are right it is hard. Like I said before, not making much per year (my salary sucks) I really don't have much to lose. If I continue to stay where I'm at now, others like me top out at $35K - $40K/yr. Many are in the lower $30K. So in that respect, I'm not missing out on money for my future family. I guess truth is, right now, I feel like I NEED to answer that little voice deep inside. You know the voice that cries out for Adventure, Excitement, and Something different.

I want more from my life than just sitting around in an office all day staring at a computer screen.

I could not have said it better. No regrets, and never wonder "what might have been." Good luck to you in your life my friend and thank you for your feedback. It was very, very helpful.

[milf]

It's somewhat comforting knowing that I'm not the only one going through this at the moment. I was almost certain I wasn't, but actually hearing my thoughts from someone else's mouth is reassuring.

I guess truth is, right now, I feel like I NEED to answer that little voice deep inside. You know the voice that cries out for Adventure, Excitement, and Something different.

This is it; I know the voice well. It seems as if I have two of them though, one that tells me to live how I want to live and do the things that will make my happy <b>now</b>, while the other voice thinks more towards the future and being responsible for a future family. I tell myself to live day-by-day, but at the same point, I must be rational. The thought that overlies it all is that regardless of what I decide to do, I don't want to look back at my life and regret anything!

With your current job, are you happy at least? Does it give you the time to go out and be adventurous and find your idea(s) of excitement? I'm 22 and making roughly $60k/year, but I'm also crammed in an office building with no windows for a 1/3 of my day.

I've decided. Living my life now and doing the things that make me happy is what I need to do. I'm going to be miserable sitting around all day at work thinking about what I 'could' be doing. Hopefully I'll have made the right decision.

[Michael_Jackson]

I just graduated high school and I wanted excitement. So I enrolled in a university in the UK [I'm from Florida], while all my other friends are staying in state. I don't have much wisdom to speak of, but I can tell you that limits are all in your head. You sound like a bright guy, and you can go anywhere if you just realize that most of your restrictions are self imposed.

[TheIceMan]

Originally posted by milf:
With your current job, are you happy at least? Does it give you the time to go out and be adventurous and find your idea(s) of excitement? I'm 22 and making roughly $60k/year, but I'm also crammed in an office building with no windows for a 1/3 of my day.

I've decided. Living my life now and doing the things that make me happy is what I need to do. I'm going to be miserable sitting around all day at work thinking about what I 'could' be doing. Hopefully I'll have made the right decision.

Well, I'm currently looking for a job so I guess I have somewhat of a cushion. I like what I do in terms of counseling. My co-workers are happy or least content. But for me, I just felt like something was "missing." Well, I submitted my resume for that teaching job in Japan. I hope to hear back from them soon.

Michael_Jackson:
Agreed, most of the restrictions we talk of are "self-imposed." Funny thing was that I had applied for a position overseas and was even offered a job. As it turns out, I'm regretting that decision. I think at that time I just wasn't ready to leave the comforts of my "home" here in Texas.

[TheIceMan]

So it's been 5 months since my last post on this topic. Well, I have great news! I just got a job working on an island in the Pacific Ocean! Talk about meeting the things I was "yearning for." I'm leaving the country (US) in about 2 weeks. And my NEW 15" Al PowerBook is coming with me!!

[voyageur]

Good for you for acting on your wishes! Which island? What will you be doing?

[TheIceMan]

voyageur: I'll be working as a behavior specialist with children in the school. The island is Saipan, which is part of the Northern Mariana Islands.

[nonhuman]

Wow, that sounds really cool. Good luck!

[voyageur]

What an interesting opportunity. I hope you can continue to post once you get there and tell us about your experiences. My neighbors spent a number of years in the Marshall Islands, and when they returned here their kids could not get used to wearing shoes again!

[TheIceMan]

nonhuman: Thanks. I think it'll be pretty sweet living there.

voyageur: You can be sure that I'll continue to post here. I'm NOT leaving the country without my NEW 15" PowerBook. I heard DSL costs around $90 dollars there since it's still "new" there. But since rent ranges from $350-$700/month, I figure I'll stay at the $350-$450 range and still afford my DSL connection. WooHoo!

[TheIceMan]

Well, here's the 3 month update. I have since moved and settled on the island of Saipan. I'm glad that I stopped wishing and started doing. I can't explain it other than to say that this move, the island, the job, the people and things here feel "right" for me somehow. I guess I just really needed and wanted something different from Dallas.

Since moving here, I have gotten to play beach volleyball with professional players from the US (Paul Baxter & Scott Wong) and from Japan. I have volunteered with XTERRA (it's like a short triathlon), flown on planes barely bigger than some cars, watched high school kids husk coconuts with their TEETH, gotten involved in outrigger canoeing, and so many other cool things.

Truth be told, I was scared moving here because I didn't know what to expect. I only knew 2 other people (friends from college) and no one else. It took about 23 hours and 7,000 miles but here I am.

The job is very nice. The people here in the Northern Mariana Islands are so hospitable. It's so rewarding to go to work knowing that people appreciate you for what you do.

Anyways, I have stopped "yearning for more" and started "living for more". Now, I look forward to visiting Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, Japan, and so many places I've never been before.

Well, that's about it. Peace.

To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway.

[mrfrost]

[Face Ache]

Good on ya mate!

Got room there for a superchicken?

Stop by if you get to Perth.

[Spliffdaddy]

[GoGoReggieXPowars]

Hey, cool, IceMan! I missed the other update, and was wondering what happened!

[voyageur]

Excellent

[voodoo]

Thanks for the update IceMan! You give me hope that one day I'll be able to do something similar!!

[lil'babykitten]

[scaught]

i think im gonna cry.

[voodoo]

Originally posted by scaught:
i think im gonna cry.

01110011011000010111001001100011011000010111001101 10110101011111011010010111001101011111011100110111 01000111001001101111011011100110011101011111011101 11011010010111010001101000010111110111100101101111 01110101010111110111100101101111011101010110111001 10011101011111011100110110001101100001011101010110 01110110100001110100011101110110000101101100011010 110110010101110010

[typoon]

Originally posted by TheIceMan:
Well, here's the 3 month update. I have since moved and settled on the island of Saipan. I'm glad that I stopped wishing and started doing. I can't explain it other than to say that this move, the island, the job, the people and things here feel "right" for me somehow. I guess I just really needed and wanted something different from Dallas.

Since moving here, I have gotten to play beach volleyball with professional players from the US (Paul Baxter & Scott Wong) and from Japan. I have volunteered with XTERRA (it's like a short triathlon), flown on planes barely bigger than some cars, watched high school kids husk coconuts with their TEETH, gotten involved in outrigger canoeing, and so many other cool things.

Truth be told, I was scared moving here because I didn't know what to expect. I only knew 2 other people (friends from college) and no one else. It took about 23 hours and 7,000 miles but here I am.

The job is very nice. The people here in the Northern Mariana Islands are so hospitable. It's so rewarding to go to work knowing that people appreciate you for what you do.

Anyways, I have stopped "yearning for more" and started "living for more". Now, I look forward to visiting Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, Japan, and so many places I've never been before.

Well, that's about it. Peace.

To those who can dream there is no such place as faraway.

Congrats on everything and good luck. Sounds like you are doing great and having fun.

[wolfen]

I can relate very strongly with what you are saying. Here's my advice: Don't screw up.

I mean, I've made a lot of mistakes in life trying to scratch that itch. Usually they revolve around the idea tha some kind of dramatic action needs to be taken. It doesn't. Rarely does it.

I sounds like you and I share an inner buzz -- it doesn't go away overnite no matter what you do. I promise. It takes years and years.

So take it easy. Get you excitement in measured doses. Plan a trip to Europe. Find a really pleasant and attractive hooker. Drink yourself silly once a month. But don't rearrange your life much and don't take any radical steps to quell the storm inside.

Counseling doesn't hurt, either.

wolfen

[mitchell_pgh]

One cool thing about life is you can start over at just about any time if you put your mind to it.

[macintologist]

Originally posted by mitchell_pgh:
One cool thing about life is you can start over at just about any time if you put your mind to it.

One of the better quotes on Macnn. It gives me hope all unto itself

[- - e r i k - -]

Amazing read IceMan!

Coincidentally, I just received my offer from Bond University, Gold Coast, Australia today. So now it's final: I'm moving from the cold north and my "safe" design job to sun, beaches and easy living in one of the finest climates on earth. And yes, my 17" AlBook will be coming with me, and my girl Veronica will too. Happy day this. Happy day.

[DeathToWindows]

enjoy life.

[TheIceMan]

- - e r i k - - Congrats to you and good luck with school and life in Australia. You have quite a long flight awaiting you.

wolfen: Thanks for the advice. Don't worry, I'm taking it all in slowly. I haven't done anything "insane" (yet). Funny thing you mentioned counseling...because I am a counselor! Crazy huh?

And for the rest, thank you for your kind and supportive words. It's amazing when I read back to my original post. I could still "feel" the anxiety and the "yearning for more." What a nice feeling to be able to "quell the storm inside" (as wolfen said). Although "quell" is more like "suppress or crush", I prefer "quench" as in "quenching or satisfying your thirst." Sorry, I just wanted to clarify that.

Again, thank you MacNN community.

[dav]

pics?

[osiris]

Originally posted by mitchell_pgh:
One cool thing about life is you can start over at just about any time if you put your mind to it.

Words to live by.

[TheIceMan]

I know it's been a LONG time since I've updated this post. Sorry, I've been lazy and busy. Anyways, for those interested or curious, here is my BLOG with pics of my fiancée and a professional beach volleyball player named Philip Dalhauser. My picture is there too, in the upper right corner. I figure this is way faster than retyping all that info. You can read my previous post on my blog site.

And yes, you read correctly...I'm engaged. She's wonderful and I am so lucky to have met her.

Thanks again everyone for your interests and support. In some strange and very powerful ways, each of you (e r i k, wolfen, typoon, voyageur, nonhuman, milf, permanent68/Rob) have helped me to echo or validate my desire to do something about my life. For that I am grateful.

I still can't believe how fast time has flown by. My original post was Aug. 11,2003! It's already been two years! Wow. Peace.

[budster101]

Wow, you two make a great couple!

Good luck to you and peace! I can't believe you updated this thread. That's really cool.

[Salty]

crazy... it's crazy to realize I've been here that long... wow... I need a girl friend...

[rickey939]

[budster101]

Wow, and I'm married... Honey? <going to see if wife still lives here> brb.

...
...
...
...

Yep, still here.

[TheIceMan]

Thanks guys.

[TheIceMan]

I'm trying to keep the tradition of doing a yearly update, so here's my Aug 2006.

Short story:
(1) In Aug. 2003 I asked for feedback/advice about my life.
(2) In late Dec. 2003, I accepted a job working as a Behavior Specialist on an island in the Pacific Ocean called Saipan.
(3) I started my job Jan. 2004
(4) Throughout most of 2004 I partied, got to play beach volleyball with professional players, watched kids husk coconuts with their teeth, and stuff.
(5) In the fall of 2004 I met a girl who...
(6) In 2005 became my fiancee and...
(7) In 2006 became my wife

You can see what I've been up to by checking out my website (which took almost 6 months to make it just right).

Steve Nguyen Online - Managing Behaviors in School and in Life
www.stevenguyenonline.com

Click on Photos to see our wedding pictures! Now you can finally put a face to my MacNN handle.

So here we are...all caught up with the updates. I still play volleyball and life here is still much more laid back than in the U.S. We do get a chance to travel to Tokyo and back to Dallas to visit family and friends.

Now, my goal is to visit Bali, Thailand, Vietnam, and Australia.

[Judge_Fire]

Congrats, man!

Sounds good, nice to hear from you

[TheIceMan]

Judge_Fire: Thanks. It has and continues to be an exciting adventure. I still can't believe how things have changed (for the better) once I decided that I was going to do something instead of just complaining about it.