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Punch Lines...
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: On this side of there
Status:
Offline
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Here's one to a tasteless joke...
"Then I'll have Coke."
Got any good punchlines?
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Do you want forgiveness or respect?
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
Status:
Offline
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Man who has four balls.... cannot walk.
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Member of the the Stupid Brigade! (If you see Sponsored Links in any of my posts, please PM me!)
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Status:
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Abcess makes the fart go "honda".
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aka BlueSky
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2001
Status:
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"Poof" ... and turned him into a tampon.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Where my body is
Status:
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I wanted a 12" penis, not a 12" pianist.
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Baninated
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Illinois might be cold and flat, but at least it's ugly.
Status:
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rectum....... damn near broke'm
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
Status:
Offline
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It was the bottom of the ninth, the bassists were loaded, and the score was tied.
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Member of the the Stupid Brigade! (If you see Sponsored Links in any of my posts, please PM me!)
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
Status:
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One, if you slice him thin enough.
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2002
Status:
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You shag one bloody sheep and you're marked for life.
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Baninated
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Illinois might be cold and flat, but at least it's ugly.
Status:
Offline
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1. A stick
2. 26 sizes larger than an A Bra
3. The taste
4. Anyone can Roast Beef
5. Penicillin
6. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
Questions are below.
1. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
2. What is a zebra?
3. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
4. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
5. What should you give a man that has everything?
6. What do Disney World and Viagra have in common?
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2003
Status:
Offline
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I'll have what she's having!
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2001
Status:
Offline
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One's a sick duck, I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore.
(Sean Connery on SNL-Celebrity Jeopardy)
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Status:
Offline
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"You're thor? I'm tho thor from all your hammering I'm gonna need ithe!"
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"I stand accused, just like you, for being born without a silver spoon." Richard Ashcroft
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Copenhagen
Status:
Offline
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Status:
Offline
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One of them are bunch of little cunning runts.
(What's the difference between a girl's track team and a tribe of pygmys?)
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aka BlueSky
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Rochester, NY, USA
Status:
Offline
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One's a scum-sucking bottom-dweller, and the other's a fish.
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Member of the the Stupid Brigade! (If you see Sponsored Links in any of my posts, please PM me!)
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2005
Status:
Offline
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The prick is on the outside.
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Administrator  Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Status:
Offline
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My mom says that with what I have, I can have all of those I want!
Bud-that was great, thanks!
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Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2003
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by wolfen
Here's one to a tasteless joke...
"Then I'll have Coke."
I just saw these scene and it such a great one. I love that movie.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Where my body is
Status:
Offline
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What do you mant me to do, shove them up my @ss?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Status:
Offline
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"And that's why the French don't bathe."
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Chuck
___
"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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Forum Regular
Join Date: Sep 2000
Status:
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status:
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 PING PONG BALLS!? I thought you said KING KONG'S BALLS!!! 
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status:
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That's what I've been tryin to tell you, kid! There aint no stinkin chocolate!
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Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Where my body is
Status:
Offline
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...They don't wear hats? Damn! I ran over a nun.
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Baninated
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dead whale
Status:
Offline
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Outfield - #24
Status:
Offline
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To get to the other side!
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Garden of Paradise Motel, Suite 3D
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by ManOfSteal
To get to the other side!
No, no, no. She's not "nuts" -- I said that she was f*cking Goofy.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status:
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"NO, no" the penguin says "It's just ice cream"
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by mojo2
"NO, no" the penguin says "It's just ice cream"
Ha. That was, like, the only joke this girl I used to know would ever tell.
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Chuck
___
"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
Offline
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Chuckit
Ha. That was, like, the only joke this girl I used to know would ever tell.
Was she a beautiful, petite, brunette flight attendant named Chrissy? She's the one who told me the joke.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by besson3c
I really don't get why people demean Bob Saget. He's a GREAT guy who's had to confront some serious family health issues and has done it with dignity. He's very intelligent. He can perform stand-up comedy. Had TWO HIT TV shows running SIMULTANEOUSLY on ABC. And he is a director/producer.
I don't get it. Where's the joke?
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Administrator Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Status:
Offline
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I unserstand Bob Saget is filthy doing standup. Is this true? In what direction is he filthy?
One more punchline:
You may go. I didn't realize you were a police officer too.
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Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by mojo2
I really don't get why people demean Bob Saget. He's a GREAT guy who's had to confront some serious family health issues and has done it with dignity. He's very intelligent. He can perform stand-up comedy. Had TWO HIT TV shows running SIMULTANEOUSLY on ABC. And he is a director/producer.
I don't get it. Where's the joke?
What you glaze over is the fact that both of his hit TV shows were complete hokum. And his character on Full House was so schlocky that even the piece-of-schlock show felt like it needed to make fun of him for it. And now, more than 10 years after it ended, that character is still the only thing most people know he's done. Thus, in most people's minds, he's a punch-line.
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Chuck
___
"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
Offline
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by mojo2
I really don't get why people demean Bob Saget. He's a GREAT guy who's had to confront some serious family health issues and has done it with dignity. He's very intelligent. He can perform stand-up comedy. Had TWO HIT TV shows running SIMULTANEOUSLY on ABC. And he is a director/producer.
I don't get it. Where's the joke?
I love Bob Saget, I'm his biggest fan! My picture was in tribute.... well, sarcastic tribute of his America's Funniest Home Videos joke style, but I honestly love this style *because* it is so bad.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by ghporter
I unserstand Bob Saget is filthy doing standup. Is this true? In what direction is he filthy?
One more punchline:
You may go. I didn't realize you were a police officer too.
Yup, he is. This came up in another thread. Search if you must 
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status:
Offline
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This guy goes into a bar in Northern Canada and orders a white wine.
All the hunters and trappers sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some
pitiful new age Quebecoisie from Montreal.
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from the States."
The bartender says, "What do you do in the States?"
The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender says, "A taxi-dermist? Tell me now, what the devil is
a taxi-dermist? Do you drive a taxi?"
"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."
The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us!"
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