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tavilach · 06:16 AM

http://webcast.berkeley.edu/courses/...50415&rep=real

Scroll to 48:50.

If you were that student (which I'm sure none of you would be, but just try to imagine), what the heck would you do? I might honestly kill myself. If I didn't do that, I would run home to mommy, not that she could do anything. I'd be totally screwed.

I guess that I would have worked up the courage to approach this professor, even though that little speech would have scared the living crap out of me. I might actually have been be more likely to approach the professor if he were a little bit less intimidating, but I guess a thief is more likely to only heed threatening words.

The student must be a jackass and a horrible person, but he doesn't deserve what's coming to him. He deserves expulsion, but essentially a lifetime in prison? That's just horrible.

For the record, my sources say that the laptop was not returned. I don't know why they haven't just arrested the kid, yet. I also don't know enough to really comment on that, though.

P.S. That professor was absolutely retarded in not fully protecting the computer, leaving copies of all of that stuff on a portable computer, and keeping his eyes off the computer. He's partially to blame for the current dilemma. You know, I really think most professors are self-centered scum. The only professor I've ever respected is my current CS professor, who even openly supported the recent AFSCME (The American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees) strike, and admitted that the university, while good to students and faculty, was very sleezy otherwise. I doubt the professor in this video supported the strike.

Albert Pujols · Apr 20, 2005, 06:18 AM

Seems like the professor is more screwed than the student who stole the laptop.

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 06:20 AM

Originally Posted by Albert Pujols

Seems like the professor is more screwed than the student who stole the laptop.

The professor's professional life is ruined, but he isn't going to federal prison!

By the way, I can't wait for the word "FileVault" to appear in this thread!

Thorin · Apr 20, 2005, 06:22 AM

Well for starters I'd never steal someone's laptop, but if I were in that situation I'd be tempted to post the laptop back to him through internal campus mail and head for the nearest border!

If the lecturer really does have all that data on the laptop (and he may just be saying that to get his laptop back), don't you think he should keep a better eye on it? And not leave it up at the front of a classroom not locked down to something? Sounds a bit fishy to me.

Albert Pujols · Apr 20, 2005, 06:26 AM

The kid could get away with it.

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 06:26 AM

Originally Posted by Thorin

Well for starters I'd never steal someone's laptop, but if I were in that situation I'd be tempted to post the laptop back to him through internal campus mail and head for the nearest border!

If the lecturer really does have all that data on the laptop (and he may just be saying that to get his laptop back), don't you think he should keep a better eye on it? And not leave it up at the front of a classroom not locked down to something? Sounds a bit fishy to me.

He couldn't have just been saying that, if you think about it. This would obviously get back to the UC Police Department, and if it was BS, they'd know it. People wouldn't stand for a professor sidetracking class like that, and startling the students, unless it was for real.

Of course he should have kept a better eye on it, but professors oftentimes lack common sense. In his case, it'll probably mean the end of his career. As for the student...

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 06:28 AM

Originally Posted by Albert Pujols

The kid could get away with it.

True, but it will still be a huge deal. You're right, though...it could be an even bigger deal for the professor.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 06:33 AM

How about describing it to us, for those who wish not to d/l Real. Thanks.

mdc · Apr 20, 2005, 06:34 AM

oh my god, that kid's screwed!

i wonder what happens/happened next?

tavilach · 07:17 AM

I was thinking about doing that, but then I was like, "Naw...everyone has Real!"

I guess not, hehe. Here's what the professor said, but it's a lot more powerful if you watch it. I keep playing it over and over again.

Biology 1A:

Professor Firestone: So Jasper wants to say something. I'll give him the last few minutes, here.

Professor Rine: Thanks, Carey. I have a message for one person in this audience. I'm sorry the rest of you have to sit through this. As you know, my computer was stolen in the last lecture. The thief clearly wanted to betray everyone's trust, and was after the exam. The thief was smart not to plug the computer into the campus network, but the thief was not smart enough to do three things. He was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows. I installed the same version of Windows on another computer and within 15 minutes the people in Redmond, Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signaled to them from two different computers. The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer was at every time that it was turned on. I'm not particularly concerned about the computer, but the thief who thought that he was only stealing an exam is presently, uhh...we think, probably still in possession of three kinds of data, any one of which can send this man, actually this young boy, to federal prison...not a good place for a young boy to be. You are in possession of data from a hundred million dollar trial sponsored by the NIH for which I'm a consultant. This involves some of the largest companies on the planet, the NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been identified...they've been notified about this problem. You are in possession of trade secrets from a Fortune 1000 Biotech company, the largest one in the country, which I consult for. Uh, the Federal Trade Communication [Commission?] is very interested in this. Federal marshals are the people who handle that. You are in possession of proprietary data from a pre-public company planning an IPO. The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this, and I don't even know what branch of law enforcement they use. Your academic career is about to come to an end. You are facing very serious charges, with a probability of very serious time. At this point, there is very little that anybody can do for you. The one thing that you can do for yourself is to somehow prove that the integrity of the data which you possess has not been corrupted, or copied. Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid, because I am the only person that can tell whether the data that was on that computer are still on that computer. You will have to find a way of hoping that if you've copied anything, you can prove that you have only one copy of whatever was made. I am tied up all this afternoon. I am out of town all of next week. You have until 11:55 to return the computer and whatever copies you've made to my office, because I'm the only hope you've got of staying out of deeper trouble than you or any student that I've ever known has ever been in. I apologize to the rest of you to have to bring up this tasteful matter, but I will point out that we have a partial image of this person, we have two eyewitnesses with the transponder data, we're going to get this person. Thank you.

You owe me, Randman!

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 06:59 AM

Originally Posted by mdc

oh my god, that kid's screwed!

i wonder what happens/happened next?

I don't know anyone who is actually in the class, but my friend says that the laptop has not yet been returned. I'll fill you guys in if I learn anything more.

Deimos · Apr 20, 2005, 07:01 AM

All I want to know is. Does Windows phone home every time you use it?

Thorin · Apr 20, 2005, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by Deimos

All I want to know is. Does Windows phone home every time you use it?

That's the other bit that sounded like bs to me. I honestly think the guy's either out right lying (or exagerating) to try and get his laptop back. Which is fair enough. I just don't think anyone would be daft enough to wander around with all that sensitive data on his laptop, and then when it got pinched to stand up in front of a class full of students and a video camera and tell everyone just how daft and negligent they are.

I don't think Microsoft have the ability to check up on individual copies of Windows as he's suggested, and if they do I doubt very much they'd phone him up. If they know where the laptop is as he's suggested, then why haven't the just gone and got it. It really does sound like he's just trying to scare someone into giving him his laptop back to me.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 07:13 AM

Thanks Tavi. Pretty impressive typing. I was just hoping for a sentence or three to sum up the matter.

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by Thorin

That's the other bit that sounded like bs to me. I honestly think the guy's either out right lying (or exagerating) to try and get his laptop back. Which is fair enough. I just don't think anyone would be daft enough to wander around with all that sensitive data on his laptop, and then when it got pinched to stand up in front of a class full of students and a video camera and tell everyone just how daft and negligent they are.

I don't think Microsoft have the ability to check up on individual copies of Windows as he's suggested, and if they do I doubt very much they'd phone him up. If they know where the laptop is as he's suggested, then why haven't the just gone and got it. It really does sound like he's just trying to scare someone into giving him his laptop back to me.

That's what I suspected at first, but I really don't think that he'd go to this much trouble. He's probably absolutely desperate, and perhaps exaggerating regarding the progress in finding the person, but I think the data is probably as important as he suggests.

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Thanks Tavi. Pretty impressive typing. I was just hoping for a sentence or three to sum up the matter.

Yeah, I know, but I don't like summarizing

.

Deimos · Apr 20, 2005, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by Thorin

That's the other bit that sounded like bs to me. I honestly think the guy's either out right lying (or exagerating) to try and get his laptop back. Which is fair enough. I just don't think anyone would be daft enough to wander around with all that sensitive data on his laptop, and then when it got pinched to stand up in front of a class full of students and a video camera and tell everyone just how daft and negligent they are.

I don't think Microsoft have the ability to check up on individual copies of Windows as he's suggested, and if they do I doubt very much they'd phone him up. If they know where the laptop is as he's suggested, then why haven't the just gone and got it. It really does sound like he's just trying to scare someone into giving him his laptop back to me.

Yeah, I agree with you. The only method I know of MS checking, is when you use the Windows update, but even then, they'd have to be monitoring for that particular serial, etc.

Not to dismiss the severity of the situation, but I do think the owner is trying to put the frighteners on the person who stole it.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 07:23 AM

If it were indeed containing sensitive information, some government agency, even the FBI, would be on the case.

Eriamjh · Apr 20, 2005, 07:25 AM

He won't go to Federal Prison for the data on the machine. He might get dinged for grand or petty larceny for the laptop itself. The student didn't want the biotech data. Any crummy lawyer could easily prove there was no intent to steal that data and that it was an unintended side effect.

Please see the SUV thread. This student will most likely get what he deserves. All people who steal other peoples stuff should get serious time for it. Appropriate serious time.

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

If it were indeed containing sensitive information, some government agency, even the FBI, would be on the case.

Why would you assume that they aren't? I think he was trying to get to the student before he was contronted by the FBI or what not. Or he could have just been BS'ing, but I just don't think that he'd be that selfish.

Thorin · Apr 20, 2005, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by tavilach

Why would you assume that they aren't? I think he was trying to get to the student before he was contronted by the FBI or what not. Or he could have just been BS'ing, but I just don't think that he'd be that selfish.

Why's it selfish? The only person it affects is the person who stole the laptop, and I don't think he's going to loose any sleep over upsetting that guy.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 08:19 AM

He won't lose any sleep either.

Captain Obvious · Apr 20, 2005, 08:26 AM

BS

I think the professor was lying his ass off to try and scare the person to return the computer.
If they did in fact have a partial image of the person they would have found him by now. If there was a transponder it would have lead them to the laptop. And most importantly, disclosing that an item with such valuable data on it was stolen so easily would embarrass and inspire criticism of the person who lost it. The people who entrusted him with the information would have his department chair trying to revoke his tenure by the end of the day. So this has to be his last chance effort to try and recover it otherwise why expose yourself. Doing this in such a public manner with an internet feed of the speech makes it all the more convincing to me that this was a hoax done to help them get the item back.

effgee · Apr 20, 2005, 08:36 AM

As Obvious stated above - the dude (professor) is slick enough to put a transponder (that alone made me ROFL - the dear professor seems to watch too much television) in his laptop but he's too dumb to even password-protect invaluable research for the largest biotech firm in the country?

He quite obviously is full of shite and a lying bastard. Then again - if my laptop was stolen, I'd probably try to scare the thief into returning it, too.

Moron.

Captain Obvious · 09:02 AM

OK I watched it again and two things struck me.

One, the prof is nervous. He makes his living giving lectures. He is used to speaking in front of people. For someone who says he is so positive they can get the culprit he doesn't speak very confidently about the matter.

Secondly, they know it is one person from his last lecture that did it. They know it�s a male and they have his picture. In my largest lecture at Madison I had 350 students. If we assume half are male then how hard would it be to get that supposed partial image, copy it to a photo and give it to a few officers along with a list of the students in the class. It would take all of 24 hours to find the students and narrow it down to a few possible individuals. If it was such a matter of importance it would not fall outside the jurisdiction of the local police to carry out this kind of investigation.
Hell, he could just require them to come to him during office hours and check the boys off the list when you see they don't match the physical description in the photo.

http://mcb.berkeley.edu/faculty/GEN/rinej.html

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 08:56 AM

If he did had the info he claims, wouldn't he have a backup? And would he really be the only person in the world to access to it?

The dude is doubly stupid. One for losing his laptop, two for his bs claims to try and get it back.

I may just d/l Real just to watch this idiot.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 09:00 AM

Hmm, after reading Tavi's writeup, two things struck me. One, they made the announcement at the end of the class? WTF? If this was indeed serious, they'd interrupt the class and the hell with everything else.

Secondly, if the information is indeed so double top-secret, then why in the hell is he going to be busy during the afternoon as well as gone next week? For something that "important", you drop all else and devote 100% of any resources available to getting it back.

The guy is a loser and a lousy liar.

effgee · Apr 20, 2005, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

... The guy is a loser and a lousy liar.

Not to mention very desperate + a hottie to start with ...

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 09:08 AM

Posture looks defensive and if he has something to hide. Classic signs of a lie.

What would be funny is he had child porn (ok, child porn's not funny but go along with it) on the laptop.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 09:09 AM

Anyone know where to get one of those nifty transponder thingies so the agency can triangulate a fix? Anyone?

Zimphire · Apr 20, 2005, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Secondly, if the information is indeed so double top-secret, then why in the hell is he going to be busy during the afternoon as well as gone next week? For something that "important", you drop all else and devote 100% of any resources available to getting it back.

He is trying to get it back ASAP. Saying if you don't give it back by this time, you are SOL.

effgee · Apr 20, 2005, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Posture looks defensive ...

Oh, he's grouchy, alright. I watched him blabber for two minutes or so - funny stuff. He sounds like my nine year old nephew after his mom confiscated his favorite toy as punishment for him being an obnoxious pest ...

(extremely pouty/whiny tone of voice:) " Within an hour, we tracked the signal from various locations on campus** ... To the person who took this ... your academic career is about to come to an end ... you are facing very serious charges. ..."

** - Simultaneously? Holy crap - the thief must have been running all over the place!!

effgee · Apr 20, 2005, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

Anyone know where to get one of those nifty transponder thingies so the agency can triangulate a fix? Anyone?

Send Jack Bauer an email - he'll know.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 09:20 AM

If sensitive data were on it, do you think the authorities would be happy "just getting it back"?

And I can't figure out the "only one copy" comment. WTF?

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by effgee

Send Jack Bauer an email - he'll know.

I was thinking Sydney. She's hotter.

effgee · Apr 20, 2005, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Randman

I was thinking Sydney. She's hotter.

But she also has an IQ equivalent to sack of potatoes as well as a crooked nose ... hmmm, Michelle maybe? Anyone but Chlo�, actually. Aaah the hell with it - they're all retarded.

Randman · Apr 20, 2005, 09:34 AM

When did intelligence matter?

iLikebeer · Apr 20, 2005, 09:39 AM

..., we have two eyewitnesses with the transponder data,...

Um, ok, how do you have a witness to transponder data? Hell, what does that even mean? They have students walking around that can see radio waves I guess.

It was also kinda funny how he kept switching between talking about a person like he wasn't there to scare his friends into making him come forward, then accusing the people in the class. Weird. I would have had a hard time not laughing my ass off at that. Probably was kiddy pron the way he was throwing around 3 letter gov't agencies names.

keekeeree · Apr 20, 2005, 09:56 AM

I call bullsh*t!

It sounds like Jasper has been watching too much C.S.I.

He's trying to panic the thief into returning the notebook, hoping the thief know less about computers than he obviously does. That's why the big scare and the 11:55, same-day deadline.

Getting stuff stolen sucks, but if you're paying that little attention to your irreplaceable laptop in a room filled with 350 poor college students, you're pretty much asking to be ripped off.

starman · Apr 20, 2005, 10:07 AM

I installed the same version of Windows on another computer and within 15 minutes the people in Redmond, Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signaled to them from two different computers.

Um, this is impossible.

At work I deal with both site and single licenses of Windows. If it's the same serial #, you CAN'T install it on two computers. If it's a site license, it doesn't matter.

The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer was at every time that it was turned on.

WTF is a "transponder" installed in the laptop for, and if you knew EXACTLY where it was, why didn't you nab the kid?

You are in possession of data from a hundred million dollar trial sponsored by the NIH for which I'm a consultant.

Um, password? You DO have a password on your system, right? It's not like he can turn the laptop on and everything is there.

I call bullsh*t on the professor's statements.

Mike

badidea · Apr 20, 2005, 10:12 AM

My AIRBUS laptop is secured with 3 passwords (HD, Windows and file encryption and it's always cable locked when I am not carrying it) because the data needs maximum protection in case of thievery!

If this guy isn't lying (he sure is though) he deserves what happened to him just because of his stupidity!

mdc · Apr 20, 2005, 10:50 AM

he probably has windows automatically login for him

wdlove · Apr 20, 2005, 11:12 AM

A mistake that should be corrected.

BoomStick · Apr 20, 2005, 11:17 AM

I'd set it on fire and then UPS it back to him.

turtle777 · Apr 20, 2005, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by tavilach

What Would You Do?

Without reading any of your stuff, I'd say I'd probably post something on MacNN. Works for EVERYTHING.

-t

Albert Pujols · Apr 20, 2005, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by turtle777

Without reading any of your stuff, I'd say I'd probably post something on MacNN. Works for EVERYTHING.

-t

I would post all the trade secrets on MacNN using my secret handle 'goalbert'. Then I would laugh about it for a while, then go to bed.

E's Lil Theorem · Apr 20, 2005, 04:08 PM

Why are you guys being so hard on the prof? He's just trying to get his laptop back. Yes, he's lying through his teeth about everything, but who would want to spend $2K on another machine? I'd prolly do something similar if I were him.

Anyway, the person who took it prolly had a look around and found none of the data the prof was talking about and figured as we did: the prof is just trying to scare him into returning it.

With all sorts of budget cuts, that $2K may have to come out of the prof's pocket. Sucks to be him.

tavilach · Apr 20, 2005, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by Randman

Hmm, after reading Tavi's writeup, two things struck me. One, they made the announcement at the end of the class? WTF? If this was indeed serious, they'd interrupt the class and the hell with everything else.

Secondly, if the information is indeed so double top-secret, then why in the hell is he going to be busy during the afternoon as well as gone next week? For something that "important", you drop all else and devote 100% of any resources available to getting it back.

The guy is a loser and a lousy liar.

I was thinking both of those things, too.

I just have a gut feeling that it isn't BS. We'll see, though

.

DeathMan · Apr 20, 2005, 04:36 PM

1) Don't steal.
2) Encrypt your important data.
3) Don't leave billion dollar trade secrets unattended.

That is all.

Captain Obvious · Apr 20, 2005, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by E's Lil Theorem

who would want to spend $2K on another machine?

With all sorts of budget cuts, that $2K may have to come out of the prof's pocket. Sucks to be him.

He has all these grants and projects supposedly, I am sure he isn't being hurt by budget cuts.
Nevertheless, there are money problems in universities because people like him spend it like it is going out of style. I feel no sympathy for them knowing how much money is wasted by labs and departments.