[glideslope]

A blonde is sitting at a table working on a puzzle of a picture of a tiger. She is having trouble and calls her boyfriend for help. He offers to come over after dinner. Upon entering the room he sees the table, the box with the tigers picture, and the pieces all over the table.

After finishing his drink he looks at the blonde and says, " Before we go any further I want you to put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!"

[angusmac]

Does anyone know where the word "Fuzz" originates from?

From the 'fuzzy' blue serge uniforms once worn by British coppers.


Why did the pervert cross the road?
He couldn't get his dick out the chicken...

[andymcdeee]

Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day
long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go..."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality:
"Dave,
you're a vet ."

(that might be one of those "I've heard that before jokes" but ah well...)

[Face Ache]

OK I don't tell jokes, let alone bad ones but...

Why do women have foreheads?

So you have somewhere to kiss them after you cum in their mouth.

Sorry. :o

[Patrick]

Q: What do you call it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A: Sexual harrassment
Q: What do you call it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A: $2.99 a minute

Q: Why do blondes wear flannel panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None; blondes screw in hot tubs

Q: Why did the blonde have a bruised bellybutton?
A: Her boyfriend was blonde too

Three elderly ladies decided they needed a day out and decided to go to the beach. They were sunbathing and chatting with each other and having a great time, when they noticed a man wearing a trenchcoat walking over toward them. When the man was finally in front of them, he opened his coat and exposed himself to the three old ladies. Well the first one was completely shocked and proceeded to have a stroke. The second old lady, after witnessing such acts, also had a stroke. But the third old lady had arthritis in her hands and couldn't feel anything.

[ 04-18-2002: Message edited by: Patrick ]

[bewebste]

Q: What's the difference between a blond and bowling ball?
A: You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
A: They both put 40 year old meat in 12 year old buns.

[goatnet]

Originally posted by bewebste:
<STRONG>Q: What do Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
A: They both put 40 year old meat in 12 year old buns.</STRONG>

omg that was horrible, tasteless and funny as hell.

[MGossett]

Following the Michael Jackson theme...

Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men?

He thought it was a delivery service.



-Mike

[goatnet]

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

Frosted Flakes

[AlbertWu]

Originally posted by Patrick:
<STRONG>

Three elderly ladies decided they needed a day out and decided to go to the beach. They were sunbathing and chatting with each other and having a great time, when they noticed a man wearing a trenchcoat walking over toward them. When the man was finally in front of them, he opened his coat and exposed himself to the three old ladies. Well the first one was completely shocked and proceeded to have a stroke. The second old lady, after witnessing such acts, also had a stroke. But the third old lady had arthritis in her hands and couldn't feel anything.

[ 04-18-2002: Message edited by: Patrick ]</STRONG>

I dun get it

[Archangel]

You are all evil. But funny.

[iNeusch]

Originally posted by Thunderbird:
<STRONG>

I think you mean a BLIND guy and his SEEING EYE DOG. Otherwise, I don't think that joke makes much sense.
</STRONG>

That's why I didn't get it at first

[Spheric Harlot]

Okay...you asked for it...

How can you tell your sister's having her period?
Daddy's c0ck tastes bloody.

...written by somebody who hijacked my account...

[l'ignorante]

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife ?


Neither has he...

[scottiB]

q: How did Socrates separate the men from the boys?
a: With a crowbar.
------

Did you hear the one about the gay priest who was wondering if Christ was divine or simply fabulous?

------

[ThisGuy]

Originally posted by Mastrap:
<STRONG>Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. One says to the other, "have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" The other replies, "No, but I've been swung around by the t*ts!" </STRONG>

Thank you for making me choke on my water.

[AlbertWu]

Originally posted by AlbertWu:
<STRONG>

I dun get it </STRONG>

OOOH! stroking like non-brain-seizure thing! ic now!

[Mac-Guy]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To show the possum it could be done.

Why didn't the little Greek boy run away from home?
-He couldn't stand to leave his brother's behind.

[Teronzhul]

Originally posted by AlbertWu:
<STRONG>

OOOH! stroking like non-brain-seizure thing! ic now! </STRONG>

don't worry, i didn't get it till you typed that?

[goatnet]

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

[digimage]

How do you make a 5 year old boy cry twice?

Wipe your bloody dick on his Teddy Bear.

Anyone wanna beat that?

[Fyre4ce]

I think my one about the clown suit earlier was worse, but they're both pretty bad...

[M�lum]

Originally posted by scottiB:
<STRONG>q: How did Socrates separate the men from the boys?
a: With a crowbar.
------

Did you hear the one about the gay priest who was wondering if Christ was divine or simply fabulous?

------</STRONG>

That's not a bad joke, it's Hilarious.

[keekeeree]

A guy calls the bartender over, motions to a woman at the end of the bar and say, "I'd like to buy that douche-bag a drink."

"I'm sorry sir, but we can't have language like that here," the bartender says. "This is a family place."

"Never mind that," the guy replies. "Just get that douche-bag a drink."

Reluctantly, the bartender walks down to the woman, "Excuse me miss, but that fellow would like to buy you a drink. What'll you have?"

"Vinegar and water."
--------
What's pink, red, and black all over?
A dead baby in trash bag.

What's pink, red, green, and black all over?
The same baby a week later.
--------
What's pink, red, bubbly, and scratches at the glass?
Baby in the microwave.
--------
What's worse than a truck load of dead babies?
Unloading the truck with a pitch-fork.
--------
Why did Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand?
So she could moan with the other.
--------

[pathogen]

Pirate Pete walks into a bar. He has a steering wheel attatched to his penis.

The bartender asks, "Hey, Pirate Pete, do you know you have a steering wheel on your dick?"

To which Pirate Pete replies, "Arrrrrrrrrrr. I know. It's driving me nuts. Arrrrrrrr."


ps. Pirate Pete walks into the bar the next day with a parrot gnawing on his wooden leg.

The bartender asks, "Hey Pirate Pete, do you want me to get that parrot off of you?"

Pirate Pete says, "Arrrrrrr. Keep your hands off me pecker. Don't you know I like birds riding my woody? Arrrrrrrr."

[ 04-20-2002: Message edited by: pathogen ]

[Ozmodiar]

What's worse than a truck load of dead babies?
Unloading the truck with a pitch-fork.

Also: What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies and a truck load of bowling balls?
You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.

btw, the clown suit joke has been my favorite thus far.

[RGB]

How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby

How did Hellen Keller go crazy?
Trying to read a stucco wall

Two nun s were taking a stroll through the park at dusk when two men jumped them, ripped off their habits, and proceeded to rape them. Sister Gregory, bruised and battered, looked up at the sky and said softly, "Forgive him, Lord, for he knows not what he does." Sister Theresa looked over at her and said, "Mine does."

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.

What's blue and squirms in the corner?
A baby in a baggie

What's green and sits in the corner?
The same baby two weeks later.

And since im Jewish by blood (not belief)...
Why do Jews have such big noses?
Because air is free.

How do you lose a Jew in a car chase?
Take the tollway

What do JAPs make for dinner?
Reservations

And I got a bunch more, but it's time for bed...

[FERRO]

My brother came up with this one today...

What does the jar of mayo say when you open the door...?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ahhhh! close the door I'm dressing...

thats my worst joke...

------------------------------------

� FERRO 2001-2002

[hawiken]

These are terrible!! I'm crying, here...I can't believe how politically uncorrect you all are!
So, here are my contributions:

Why don't women have brains?
'Cause they don't have dick$ to keep them in.

What's the best thing about being homosexual?
You can have an intelligent conversation after sex.

What's the best thing about being a pedophile?
It looks so BIG when their little hands are wrapped around it.

If the million man march and the million lesbian march were held on the same day, what would you have?
2 million people who don't do dick.

And finally:
How many Americans does it take to put in a light bulb?
One. (I don't think that's very funny, but I understand that in Poland, they think it's hilarious...)