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You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > Political/War Lounge > 21 Economic Models explained with Cows

21 Economic Models explained with Cows
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- - e r i k - -
Posting Junkie
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Jan 22, 2009, 05:20 AM
 
OK, so it's one of those silly e-mail forwards, but it's late here, I had wine and I 'ed


SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.


NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.


BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons


A CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows...
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.


VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to fund a new political party, leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.


A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.


A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks VERY attractive.

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Timo
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Jan 22, 2009, 11:49 AM
 
heh, classic
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 22, 2009, 12:51 PM
 
So good!
Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
     
Doofy
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Jan 22, 2009, 01:36 PM
 
ENVIRONMENTALISM
You have two cows. They're farting.
Quick, shoot them.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
subego
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Jan 22, 2009, 02:38 PM
 
HINDUISM
Fails to see the humor.
     
osiris
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Jan 22, 2009, 04:40 PM
 
The Matrix
There are no cows.
"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
     
Person Man
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Location: Northwest Ohio
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Jan 22, 2009, 06:23 PM
 
Originally Posted by - - e r i k - - View Post
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The government forces you to give one to your neighbour. (Because nobody should ever go without owning a cow)
Fixed™

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A GREEK INDUSTRY SECTOR
You have two cows.
You announce that all people owning two cows will go on strike next Tuesday and block the roads because you want three cows, then go back to work on Wednesday.
     
Cold Warrior
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Jan 22, 2009, 09:01 PM
 
Classic indeed. I remember seeing this one back in maybe 2000 and it's still funny today.
     
- - e r i k - -  (op)
Posting Junkie
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Jan 22, 2009, 10:13 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
HINDUISM
Fails to see the humor.

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olePigeon
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Jan 23, 2009, 01:30 AM
 
CATHOLICISM
Has a heard of cattle, but only wants the calves.
"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
Shaddim
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Jan 23, 2009, 06:07 AM
 
ZEN
The two cows awaken, and they are a part of us all. Their spots are oceans of peace.

KABBALAH
There are ten cows. Ten and not nine, ten and not eleven.

NIHILISM
There are no good cows or bad cows, the cow is dead.
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
     
Andrew Stephens
Mac Elite
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Jan 23, 2009, 08:14 AM
 
AGNOSTIC
There may or may not be any cows. Who can tell. What are cows anyway.
     
   
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