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Is my wife a lesbian?
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smacintush
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Dec 3, 2009, 12:28 AM
 
So basically, my wife really likes to look at women (and she has pretty good taste incidentally). She doesn't just look and think about how pretty they are, she says things like "she's yummy", "I'd f*ck her" etc.. When I ask her if she's really be with a woman in the right circumstance, she says "no I can't imagine ever doing that, but I'd like to rube her boobs and her butt and things like that."

When pressed, she also admits that when she looks at guys she likes (like Hugh Jackman) she can't imagine having sex with them either.

WTF?

As a man, I can't imagine a situation where I would wanna touch, look at and caress a man and it NOT BE A GAY THING. How exactly would that work? "Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd really like to caress your ass and run my fingers through your chest hair. Maybe rub your balls a little."

I think that she is a (latent?) bisexual, but she is just not really a very sexual person.

Help me out here.
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Dec 3, 2009, 12:32 AM
 
Is she the mom from Family Ties?

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olePigeon
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Dec 3, 2009, 12:49 AM
 
Does it matter if she's bisexual? Most guys think it's a turn on. My brother's wife is bisexual and it's always fun hanging out with her. It's unexpected, but then funny when she's the one elbowing someone to check out another woman.

If you're secure in your marriage, it really doesn't matter.
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smacintush  (op)
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Dec 3, 2009, 12:57 AM
 
Originally Posted by olePigeon View Post
Does it matter if she's bisexual? Most guys think it's a turn on. My brother's wife is bisexual and it's always fun hanging out with her. It's unexpected, but then funny when she's the one elbowing someone to check out another woman.

If you're secure in your marriage, it really doesn't matter.
No it's not a security thing or anything like that. It would be a turn on for me even though I can't imagine her ever fulfilling any fantasies or anything. Really though, it's not a big deal at all.

It's just one of those things that come up once in a while where I try to get her to admit it and she denies it.
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shifuimam
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Dec 3, 2009, 12:58 AM
 
I think that women are universally more appealing to look at than men. The whole feminine thing is just nice to look at.

I find women attractive, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one - women are freaking nutbags, and I don't find the thought of a vagina at all appealing.

I wouldn't really label myself bisexual though...I don't want to date girls. I'd say I'm more like 75% straight.

But hey, who doesn't like boobs?
     
TheoCryst
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:01 AM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
But hey, who doesn't like boobs?
Tru dat.

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shifuimam
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:03 AM
 
They're like bags of sand, amirite?
     
sdilley14
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:06 AM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I think that women are universally more appealing to look at than men. The whole feminine thing is just nice to look at.

I find women attractive, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one - women are freaking nutbags, and I don't find the thought of a vagina at all appealing.

I wouldn't really label myself bisexual though...I don't want to date girls. I'd say I'm more like 75% straight.

But hey, who doesn't like boobs?
That describes a LOT of women.
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TheoCryst
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:12 AM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
They're like bags of sand, amirite?
In that both are mysteriously and overpoweringly fun to play with? Yes.

In that boobs feel like bags of sand? Less so.

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Dec 3, 2009, 01:19 AM
 
Originally Posted by ort888 View Post
Is she the mom from Family Ties?
No, but I think she's a vampire killer.
     
Randman
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:21 AM
 
Dude, why are you posting? Hit a club and have her pick up a chick. If she's a full-on lesbian, you're SOL. If not, you've hit the adult Disneyland.

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Eug
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:39 AM
 
Originally Posted by Randman View Post
Dude, why are you posting? Hit a club and have her pick up a chick. If she's a full-on lesbian, you're SOL. If not, you've hit the adult Disneyland.
     
downinflames68
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:48 AM
 
Get her and one of her single hot friends really drunk. Stick around. Give them both compliments. Then admire one of their breasts's. Then ask them to compare. Yeah. Might work.
     
hyteckit
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:53 AM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post

But hey, who doesn't like boobs?
Hmm.. let me see.

Straight men love boobs.
Straight women love boobs.
Lesbians love boobs.
Gay men love boobs.
Babies love boobs.
Adults love boobs.

Damn. I think you are right.
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Dec 3, 2009, 08:57 AM
 
Think that we need confirmation that gay men like boobs.

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ghporter
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:01 AM
 
Boobs are awesome. They are comfort, beauty and grace (generally), attached to a living person whose company you get to enjoy at the same time. What's not to like?

smac, at this point, I'll bet your wife doesn't fell "drawn" to anyone she sees illustrated, even though as you describe she comments on their attractiveness. It doesn't sound like she's particularly confused about her identity, either.

However one thing that guys have a hard time dealing with is how while a few women are slightly like us in being subject to arousal from visual input, most are not. Most women are far more subject to a more intellectual form of stimulation, thus the success of romance novels...if you can handle getting into the story, a lot of those books are blatantly pr0n, aimed at many women's baser selves.
( Last edited by ghporter; Dec 3, 2009 at 09:10 AM. Reason: Bad punctuation borks a poorly worded sentence even worse!)

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turtle777
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:04 AM
 
Originally Posted by ghporter View Post
(generally) attached to a living person.


-t
     
ghporter
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:09 AM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post


-t
Yeah, that didn't come across as I wanted it to. Having the boobies as part of a package, where enjoying them means enjoying the company of that living person was what I wanted to get across. I failed. Oops. So I fixed my wording and punctuation.

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Dec 3, 2009, 09:22 AM
 
@smackintush
You're saying your sex life isn't great at the moment and your wife hits at being interested in women. If I were you, I'd encourage her to try, because either she really is a lesbian or she's bi-curious. Try to be open about it.

If she's lesbian, your relationship as husband and wife is over. You may be good friends, but what's the point of living with someone who doesn't desire you physically.

Or she has urges she wants to act on: if you let her, perhaps your confusion settles and you can find a modus operandi.
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Dec 3, 2009, 10:15 AM
 
Originally Posted by Randman View Post
Dude, why are you posting? Hit a club and have her pick up a chick. If she's a full-on lesbian, you're SOL. If not, you've hit the adult Disneyland.
Thank you.
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Dec 3, 2009, 10:22 AM
 
I'd hit it™

?!?
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MrsLarry
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Dec 3, 2009, 11:47 AM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I think that women are universally more appealing to look at than men. The whole feminine thing is just nice to look at.
Seconded.

I'd rather watch a girl-on-girl video with my hubby than any other kind of pr0n. It's just better.
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 12:40 PM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post


-t
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:05 PM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Think that we need confirmation that gay men like boobs.

Salty and Oisin to the Lounge please, Salty and Oisin to the Lounge.
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:15 PM
 
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:39 PM
 
If your wife says "I'd f*ck her", she's most likely bi or gay. She is dropping major hints.

Ask her to clarify what she meant when she said "rube her boobs and her butt and things like that."

Does she meant with her hands or her face? Maybe both?

If she says with her face, she's probably bi or gay.
If it involves tongue and licking, she's definitely bi or gay.
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Dec 3, 2009, 01:41 PM
 
she's just yanking your <cough> chain.
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:03 PM
 
That’s what I was thinking; is there any chance you sarcasm meter is off?
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post

But hey, who doesn't like boobs?
I'm there with you on this, behind you 100%. I'm glad that you're comfortable enough in your womanlihood that you can admit your true feelings.
     
The Final Dakar
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:14 PM
 
I'm a little uncomfortable trying to analyze your wife's inner thoughts or feelings, but my uneducated guesses are is she's either too shy to admit she's bisexual, or uncomfortable with the thought.

The Hugh Jackman thing is really loopy. Maybe she doesn't want to make you jealous? Or feels guilty?

It's a rather unique set of circumstances you have there.
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:15 PM
 
Originally Posted by MrsLarry View Post
Seconded.

I'd rather watch a girl-on-girl video with my hubby than any other kind of pr0n. It's just better.
I don't like girl-on-girl hardcore - too many vajayjays all up in my face. Girls making out, however, is always way, way hotter than a girl and a guy making out.
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:16 PM
 
Originally Posted by TheoCryst View Post
In that both are mysteriously and overpoweringly fun to play with? Yes.

In that boobs feel like bags of sand? Less so.
*headdesk*

It's a reference to The 40-year-old Virgin...
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:22 PM
 
Originally Posted by Oisín View Post
You called? (What’s wrong with all the other ’mos here?)
Sorry, took me a bit to find the thread.

Shif, I could have written this myself: "I find women attractive, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one - women are freaking nutbags, and I don't find the thought of a vagina at all appealing."

That said, I <3 the boobs. They're just fun to play with.
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 02:33 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
*headdesk*

It's a reference to The 40-year-old Virgin...
Oops, missed the reference. I only saw that movie once when it first came out, and the only thing I remember is my friend yelling at the screen about how big the girl's boobs were. In a crowded theater, mind you.

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Dec 3, 2009, 02:49 PM
 
Your wife is aware of men's desire to see two women doin' it and is possibly simply attempting to make herself more sexy/attractive to you. Planting some pictures in your head.
     
smacintush  (op)
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Dec 3, 2009, 03:17 PM
 
Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
I'm a little uncomfortable trying to analyze your wife's inner thoughts or feelings, but my uneducated guesses are is she's either too shy to admit she's bisexual, or uncomfortable with the thought.
That's just the thing! The way she was raised, IF she did like girls I think she would have a really hard time reconciling it.

The Hugh Jackman thing is really loopy. Maybe she doesn't want to make you jealous
I'm not the jealous type. I don't think making me jealous is something that's in her but if it is, I would hope that she would know by now that it's probably a lost cause.

Or feels guilty?
Perhaps.
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smacintush  (op)
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Dec 3, 2009, 03:19 PM
 
Originally Posted by iMOTOR View Post
That’s what I was thinking; is there any chance you sarcasm meter is off?
Or it could be my wishful thinking.
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analogue SPRINKLES
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Dec 3, 2009, 03:47 PM
 
Originally Posted by smacintush View Post
As a man, I can't imagine a situation where I would wanna touch, look at and caress a man and it NOT BE A GAY THING. How exactly would that work? "Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd really like to caress your ass and run my fingers through your chest hair. Maybe rub your balls a little."

I think that she is a (latent?) bisexual, but she is just not really a very sexual person.

Help me out here.
Ha ha you summed it up with that. She definitely wants to try woman.

You say she is not sexual yet she walks around pointing out the woman she would want to bang? Hmmm.
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 03:48 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
too many vajayjays all up in my face.
I LOLed.

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Shaddim
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Dec 3, 2009, 04:40 PM
 
I may be qualified to comment on this topic. I doubt your wife is a lesbian, but she's probably attracted to people who are visually striking, and feels comfortable enough around you to not try and hide it. Also, it could mean that she's bi-curious, and there's really nothing wrong with that. It could also be her way of messing with you.

Having lived with a pair of bi-sexual women for several years now, I can tell you that I still get caught off guard by their comments. This happened many months ago at a jewelry store in the mall, barely loud enough for the woman in question to hear it. It ran something like this:

K: "Now that's a nice butt."
S: "Damn, she's hot. I'd hit that."
The woman kind of turns to us and smiles a little.
Me: "It's almost like walking around with a pair of teenage boys."
S: "You're thinking it too."
Me: "Yeah, but I have an internal monologue."
K: "If she follows us home can we keep her?"
Slight shock on the woman's face.
Me: "Sure, but she'd be your responsibility."

They do this kind of **** all the time. I pretty sure it's to see if they can rattle me.
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Dec 3, 2009, 08:18 PM
 
Give it a try. Your life will either be better for knowing the truth, or AMAZING for knowing the truth. Either way, the truth is better than not knowing.
     
shifuimam
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:08 PM
 
I do have to say, it's kind of lame how some of you guys are all like "you're the luckiest man in the world if your wife is bi or bi-curious".

Stereotypical much?
     
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:32 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I do have to say, it's kind of lame how some of you guys are all like "you're the luckiest man in the world if your wife is bi or bi-curious".

Stereotypical much?
Not at all

There's very little downside really: if she wants to sleep around there's a great chance you can be involved, but at the same time if she decides to leave you for a girl there's no insecurity because you can't really get insecure about another girl f*****g your woman can you?

ftw
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Chuckit
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:47 PM
 
Um, I think it would still hurt if your wife left you for another woman, whether or not it led to any insecurity. The only way there's no potential downside is if you don't love her in the first place. (Then again, I don't see why you'd feel less secure if your wife left you for a man vs. a woman.)
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Dec 3, 2009, 09:58 PM
 
I think it's more the idea that every man's dream is two girls at the same time.

While I realize that Office Space does a good job of propagating this myth, I can think of more than a few guys I know who wouldn't be all that thrilled about his wife canoodling with women (with or without the male partner present).
     
Chuckit
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Dec 3, 2009, 10:02 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I think it's more the idea that every man's dream is two girls at the same time.
I'd say it's about as true as the idea that everyone with a Y chromosome has a penis — not universal, but still extremely likely to be so.
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Dec 3, 2009, 10:25 PM
 
I think a LOT of guys have the same dream, but I know several that claim that they wouldn't want two girls, especially if one is their wife.

In fact, I know a guy who just discovered that his wife has been sleeping with a pair of strippers. They separated. One of the strippers is now out of the picture and the wife moved in with the other. She wants to work it out with her husband, and she wants to work it out with her stripper friend in the picture. The guy still says NO.

Betrayal is betrayal I guess.
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olePigeon
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Dec 3, 2009, 10:26 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
Stereotypical much?
Reminds me of a joke. Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver?

 
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Dec 3, 2009, 10:46 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I do have to say, it's kind of lame how some of you guys are all like "you're the luckiest man in the world if your wife is bi or bi-curious".

Stereotypical much?
Welcome to my world, but it's really not that bad.
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Dec 3, 2009, 11:05 PM
 
My poor Dad has had each marriage end with his wife running off with another woman. Incidentally, when mom ran off with another woman, it kinda ruined the whole 2-woman fantasy for me. Not...arousing...at all...

Maybe that's why I never thought it would be good to be with 2 women, myself. I am more of a serial monogamist...who has only ever slept with his wife of 17 years.
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