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design219 · 11:44 AM

Probably best if you not listen.

If you do listen, you need to stick with it to get the full effect.

Lil_Markie_-_Diary_of_an_Unborn_Child.mp3

_

analogika · Jun 13, 2007, 11:27 AM

Where the **** is that from?

Holy ****.

Dakarʒ · Jun 13, 2007, 11:29 AM

That title doesn't reek of a political statement.

Edit: Bingo

Originally Posted by wiki

"Diary of an Unborn Child" is a song by Christian artist Mark Fox that was released on his album Lil' Markie Volume 1. He sings the song, like most of his other works, in a high-pitched, child-like voice.
[edit]Plot

The song is sung from the point of view of a male fetus in utero, from its conception to its abortion. In between, the fetus' character chronologizes its development. The fetus' character expresses, among other things:
excitement to see the real world
a desire to be named "Andy" (with comments that the parents, not knowing the gender, are probably using the name "Barbara")
a desire to meet its mother
Most of the song is spoken, not sung. Only after the fetus' character is aborted does it begin to sing. The lyrics of the sung portion are:
Why did you kill me, Mommy?
When God made me special for you?
I really wanted to see you
And put my little arms around you.
(At this point, "Andy" begins to fight back tears as he sings)
Why did you kill me, Mommy?
Because I thought you really cared for me.
And I wonder what I would have grown up to be.
I guess I’ll never know
'Cause Mommy, you killed me

Graviton · Jun 13, 2007, 11:34 AM

If ever there was a missed abortion opportunity, it's this guy.

Silky Voice of The Gorn · Jun 13, 2007, 11:45 AM

This is the worst song ever, sorry:
We Built This City - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dakarʒ · Jun 13, 2007, 11:46 AM

Yeah, thats up there.

design219 · Jun 13, 2007, 11:48 AM

Yeah, really bad, but in a different sort of way.

Doofy · Jun 13, 2007, 11:58 AM

No, sorry. Doof has located the worst song ever in the history of human endeavour.

It's by "Sutcliffe Jugend" and it's called "I've Never Met A Woman Who Didn't Deserve To Die".

Turn your synth on and get your cat to jump about on your keys and it'd be better than this. Literally. Even though the title has some comedic quality.

Here ya go. Here's a YouTube of them live. That's actually one of their songs, not just them arsing about.

Jawbone54 · Jun 13, 2007, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

No, sorry. Doof has located the worst song ever in the history of human endeavour.

It's by "Sutcliffe Jugend" and it's called "I've Never Met A Woman Who Didn't Deserve To Die".

Turn your synth on and get your cat to jump about on your keys and it'd be better than this. Literally. Even though the title has some comedic quality.

Here ya go. Here's a YouTube of them live. That's actually one of their songs, not just them arsing about.

I can't believe those people kept standing there and listening.

Doofy · Jun 13, 2007, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by Jawbone54

I can't believe those people kept standing there and listening.

I know. I don't get it either. I mean, that wasn't a one-off - every song they've done sounds like that. It'd be the same thing for like two hours or something.

Mithras · Jun 13, 2007, 12:19 PM

Courtesy of the best radio station on the planet (WFMU).

Jawbone54 · Jun 13, 2007, 12:19 PM

They're probably all the "artistic" types.

Luca Rescigno · Jun 13, 2007, 12:33 PM

One of the worst songs I've ever heard, at least by a mainstream artist, was "Fack" by Eminem. Oh god, my ears. Someone gave me his "Encore" greatest hits CD for free (no, I would never buy an Eminem CD) and that was the second (?) track.

"America, We Stand As One" was pretty awful… there must be a couple years old thread about that one somewhere around here.

Jawbone54 · Jun 13, 2007, 12:41 PM

I was always amazed by Eminem's cultural allure. I'm not sure what it was that made him instantly magnetic. It wasn't just the controversy.

The only song of his that I thought was (slightly) any good was "Lose Yourself."

Dakarʒ · Jun 13, 2007, 12:43 PM

He had a sense of humor. He was both arrogant and self-deprecating. And he willing to say what he wanted to.

Edit: And his rhyming could be fairly clever.

Jawbone54 · Jun 13, 2007, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by Dakarʒ

He had a sense of humor. He was both arrogant and self-depracating. And he willing to say what he wanted to.

Edit: And his rhyming could be fairly clever.

Yeah, I understand, and I appreciated some of it even though it wasn't my style.

But I still didn't think it was worth seventy million albums sold worldwide.

Dakarʒ · Jun 13, 2007, 12:47 PM

He also hit as rap was peaking.

Graviton · Jun 13, 2007, 12:47 PM

The popular music charts only serve to confirm my suspicion that the majority of the general public are morons.

Jawbone54 · Jun 13, 2007, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by Graviton

The popular music charts only serve to confirm my suspicion that the majority of the general public are morons.

If they weren't, Kings of Leon would be as popular in America as they are in the UK.

Doofy · Jun 13, 2007, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by Graviton

The popular music charts only serve to confirm my suspicion that the majority of the general public are morons.

The general public? Morons.

They don't listen to what they want to listen to - they listen to what we tell 'em to and think they want to.

Tiresias · Jun 13, 2007, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Here ya go. Here's a YouTube of them live. That's actually one of their songs, not just them arsing about.

They sound like a car accident. A really long one.

sek929 · Jun 13, 2007, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

The general public? Morons.

They don't listen to what they want to listen to - they listen to what we tell 'em to and think they want to.

Reminds me of anyone I know that likes 'pop' music. A few months from now they won't listen to anything they are obsessed with currently. I still listen to Primus albums I discovered in 6th grade and these people won't listen to music they 'loved' from two months ago.

It shows just how right you are that they only liked the music because they were told it was good, and nothing else. Once the hype dies down they realize just how godawful those few hits are yet at the same time get into some other group of talentless clothes models posing as musicians. The cycle repeats and I remain oblivious to the 'popular' music scene as I've doing since shortly after my birth.

Dakarʒ · Jun 13, 2007, 01:20 PM

I seem to discover music a year after it comes out. I suppose I'm checking its staying power and acceptance before I dive in.

Doofy · Jun 13, 2007, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by sek929

It shows just how right you are that they only liked the music because they were told it was good, and nothing else.

If I put a four-on-the-floor on that Sutcliffe Jugend crap I posted above, I'm pretty sure I could come up with a marketing scheme which would launch it into the mainstream. And all the morons would buy it.

Hmmm... Interesting experiment. Might give it a go.

Tiresias · Jun 13, 2007, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by Jawbone54

I was always amazed by Eminem's cultural allure. I'm not sure what it was that made him instantly magnetic. It wasn't just the controversy.

The only song of his that I thought was (slightly) any good was "Lose Yourself."

Check it, yo.

American rap star Eminem has been praised by leading poet and Nobel Prize winner Seamus Heaney for his "verbal energy". Mr Heaney, 64, also said Eminem had "sent a voltage around a generation". He made the comment when asked by a journalist if there was a figure in popular culture who aroused interest in poetry and lyrics in the way that Bob Dylan and John Lennon did during the 1960s and 70s.
Mr Heaney, former Professor of Poetry at Oxford University, said: "There is this guy Eminem. He has created a sense of what is possible."
"He has sent a voltage around a generation. He has done this not just through his subversive attitude but also his verbal energy."
Mr Heaney was speaking prior to the start of the Prince of Wales' Educational Summer School in Norwich, where he was a guest.

—REUTERS, 2006.

And it's well deserved praise. Eminem is an excellent lyricist and an excellent rapper.

voodoo · Jun 13, 2007, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by Silky Voice of The Gorn

This is the worst song ever, sorry:
We Built This City - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Aww that's one of the funniest songs of the 80s! I'm sure it is bad, but no way it is anywhere near being the worst.

Well, it was 'awesomely bad'.

Anything made by U2 after 1987 can be counted as the worst ever. Talentless hacks and corporate suckups. They are everything 'we built this city' is criticized for being, but they're not just a song. They're a whole f-ing band and they're not about to quit!

V

analogue SPRINKLES · Jun 13, 2007, 01:57 PM

For an abortion he still became pretty successful.

design219 · Jun 13, 2007, 01:59 PM

You can't kill Elmo. He is evil.

Jawbone54 · Jun 13, 2007, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Check it, yo.

Nobel winner - blah, blah, etc.

And it's well deserved praise. Eminem is an excellent lyricist and an excellent rapper.

Eminem is the Alice Cooper of rap. Entertaining and sells well, but more about shock value than art.

I don't trust modern poets, either. Give me Keats, Poe, and Whitman. Modern poetry has its head stuck so far up its own rectum that it's basically worthless.

Tiresias · Jun 13, 2007, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Jawbone54

Eminem is the Alice Cooper of rap. Entertaining and sells well, but more about shock value than art.

I don't trust modern poets, either. Give me Keats, Poe, and Whitman. Modern poetry has its head stuck so far up its own rectum that it's basically worthless.

How much Eminem have you listened to? I know you haven't read Seamus Heaney. His poetry is very, very accessible.

Graviton · Jun 13, 2007, 02:58 PM

I've never found Eminem even remotely shocking.

In fact, I don't remember being shocked by any musician ever.

Kerrigan · Jun 13, 2007, 03:32 PM

I found that singer guy on YouTube:

YouTube - Lil Markie Sings!!!

He starts off singing normally, and then he switches into that bizarre voice around 1min. Very odd.

nonhuman · Jun 13, 2007, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by voodoo

Anything made by U2 after 1987 can be counted as the worst ever. Talentless hacks and corporate suckups. They are everything 'we built this city' is criticized for being, but they're not just a song. They're a whole f-ing band and they're not about to quit!

Finally... It's so nice to hear from someone else that doesn't think U2 is the greatest thing ever. They've had a few catch songs that didn't suck entirely, but in general I can't stand anything by them.

sek929 · Jun 13, 2007, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

Finally... It's so nice to hear from someone else that doesn't think U2 is the greatest thing ever. They've had a few catch songs that didn't suck entirely, but in general I can't stand anything by them.

Chalk me up in the 'dislike U2 greatly' column.

I like Sunday Bloody Sunday, and a few others, but really the band has no drums or bass guitar. It's just Bono's whiny voice over some muddy guitar work, blech.

Tiresias · Jun 13, 2007, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Graviton

I've never found Eminem even remotely shocking.

In fact, I don't remember being shocked by any musician ever.

GG Allin.

Enjoy.

(Oh, and head butting glass. Sadly, I can't find the faeces eating video. I guess YouTube removed it.

TheWOAT · Jun 13, 2007, 05:21 PM

For an artist who has sold millions, Eminem has put out some really crappy albums. On a 5 scale, he has only one above a 3, the other albums sold on the strength of singles. Overall his albums are mediocre.

Worst song ever = "My baby daddy" Artist unknown.

black bear theory · Jun 13, 2007, 06:58 PM

YouTube - Crispin Glover "Clowny Clown Clown"

design219 · Jun 13, 2007, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by Tiresias

Sadly, I can't find the faeces eating video.

That's OK.

analogue SPRINKLES · Jun 13, 2007, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by Graviton

I've never found Eminem even remotely shocking.

Eminem is exactly like Weird Al Yankovic except he takes himself seriously.

Atomic Rooster · Jun 13, 2007, 08:14 PM

Just off the top of my head.

She Loves You (Yea, Yea, Yea).

But I can think of many more. There are so many tied for worstest.

design219 · Jun 13, 2007, 09:13 PM

Did you listen to the song this post is about? How can you compare The Beatles to the Lil Markie?

Kerrigan · Jun 13, 2007, 09:23 PM

This is actually the best song ever

analogika · Jun 13, 2007, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Kerrigan

I found that singer guy on YouTube:

YouTube - Lil Markie Sings!!!

He starts off singing normally, and then he switches into that bizarre voice around 1min. Very odd.

That guy is surely the AntiChrist, and that bizarre voice is Satan speaking through him.

It must be destroyed.

Luca Rescigno · Jun 13, 2007, 09:31 PM

Oh another one! "My Heart Will Go On." So it's a bad song, sure, from an irritating movie, but the worst part is that the Chinese seem absolutely enamored with it, even now. See, I've been living in China for the past 9 months and I've heard it on several occasions during that time (along with the usual assortment of really atrocious Chinese pop music that makes me yearn for Jessica Simpson).

The most annoying one is the street cleaning truck. It has a loudspeaker that plays a beep version of the song on loop as it drives around and gets stuck at the intersection right next to my apartment. Alternatives to the beep version of "My Heart Will Go On" are a beep version of Happy Birthday (which repeats every ten seconds) and a beep version of several Christmas songs strung together.

analogika · Jun 13, 2007, 09:36 PM

The paper collection truck where I lived in Japan would play "Music Box Dancer" by Floyd Cramer in an incessantly blaring loop.

Since I actually like that song in a nostalgic, cheesy way, that's not even *nearly* as bad as your street cleaning truck.

Although I find it interesting to hear that Celine Dion has apparently supplanted Richard Clayderman as the No. 1 favorite tune for EVERYTHING in China.

design219 · Jun 13, 2007, 09:49 PM

I honestly feared this would drift into an abortion discussion, not a worst music thread.

Bad music is better.

lavar78 · Jun 13, 2007, 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by TheWOAT

Worst song ever = "My baby daddy" Artist unknown.

B-Rock & The Bizz

"The Funky Y2C" by The Puppies is far worse.

scottiB · Jun 13, 2007, 10:12 PM

Paul Young's cover of "Love Will Tear Us Apart".

Doofy · Jun 13, 2007, 10:41 PM

OK, so if we're into bad cover versions here's a clip of the most un-rock and roll person on the planet doing some AC/DC.

YouTube - Celine Dion - You Shook Me All Night Long (AC/DC)

(Yes, the Canuck)

nonhuman · Jun 13, 2007, 11:12 PM

Originally Posted by Luca Rescigno

The most annoying one is the street cleaning truck. It has a loudspeaker that plays a beep version of the song on loop as it drives around and gets stuck at the intersection right next to my apartment. Alternatives to the beep version of "My Heart Will Go On" are a beep version of Happy Birthday (which repeats every ten seconds) and a beep version of several Christmas songs strung together.

God, the Happy Birthday ones are annoying.

Are you going to be in China over Christmas? If so, you might want to invest in some ear plugs. I swear there must be some government mandated Christmas Mix CD that all store and restaurants are required to play. I was in Beijing for Christmas '03, and it was the same 5 or 6 songs over and over and over every single place I went.