[CRASH HARDDRIVE]

That’s right. Let him live. I keep hearing over and over and over again that Bin Laden’s got money coming out of his as, and people around to wipe it with gold plated Charmin. We hear that fact just tossed out there, yet it glides right by, as we’re spoon fed the usual “the only reason these people do these things, and the only reason people follow this guy and do his biddding, is because they’re all religious fanatics”.

Oh really?

So this guy hates the ‘west’ and all the wealth, lifestyles and capitalism of the United States? Okay, fine. So what does HE need with something so ‘decadent’ and material as all those bux?

Killing Bin Laden--temporarily gratifying as it may be—is ultimately useless. Off him, and every one of his closest comrades weeps for a few days and pours a few bottles of Camelpee Beer in the sand to mourn him… before they throw a huge-ass party to celebrate becoming gazillionares-- since they now own the scumbag’s fortune. So carry on as usual, money for flight lessons and plane tickets, money for the quaint little terrorist summer camps, money for renting apartments in Florida and California and posing as students… money, money, and mo' money.

Nope, I say take the guy’s Saudi and Swiss bank account numbers, and do something like… Oh, I dunno… let them loose on the internet, and kinda-sorta *HINT* to any and every teenage hacker on the planet that if there’s ANY little thing they’d like to have and bill to Mr. Laden… well…

And what of Law Inforcement? FBI? CIA? Interpol? "Excuse us, Bin… who?"

The next time this scumbag rides his camel out to the local ‘Bank of Afganistan' ATM to take so much as 20 Sheckles out, let’s see the festive and ‘fanatical’ mood that’s set when ol’ Bin is greeted by the message “Sorry! Not enough fund for transaction! Please to be contact financial institution or try later again! Have nice day!”

Humm. Must be the ATM. Okay fine, try the local 7-11. Bin tries to buy a Sand-Slushie from the heavily-armed, leering guy behind the counter. No go.
“Uhh… heh. Must be mistake! Uh... Put dis one on my tab Mohammad?”

Let him ride back to his sand-hut scratching his head, while his cronies look on, with growing anger.
“Okay Bin, whud up? You promised us pay so we can go, get whored-up tonight in Kabul! We no been pay now… 3 weeks! No pay! 3 weeks!”

“Yes, yes… eh.. heh heh… ummm… well, tell you what boys, this week also... no pay. But…um… I give you extra blessings from Allah! How ‘bout dat? Maybe I assign you go die in fiery crash somewhere for me, no? Promise...big blow up… for glory of Allah! Now, shoo, shoo! Forget your trip to whore-hut! You guys go back now, hide in hot desert cave… eat rat-burger! Protect my ass from missile!”

Later that week, he gets his next bank statement from the Camel-Express guy, and it’s the size of a 20-volume encyclopedia.

“Whad de fook is dis? Charges for 3,000 Sony Playstation!?! Camcorder?! Beer… hooker... fudball game?!!
Abdul! Mohammad! Ali, Rashneesh! Have you fookin’ guys been buying **** wid my charge account?!?….whad de hell….? WHO bought dis freakin’ big screen TVs?!? New computer?! Fookin’ Palm Pilot??? Bran new Mercedeez?! And whud de fook is dis…..? Repair bill from freakin’ Pentagon?!? Cleanup bill… World Trade Center!?! Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooock!”

Grand total: Somewhere around $250,000,000 give or take a few hundred mil OVER whatever the scumbag USED to be worth.

Let’s see just how long Abdul and Mohamed and Rashneesh , and Kareem Ali Ali Oxen Free and who ever else stick around. How long will all these ‘fanatics’ and faithful followers be willing to hang out in heat-conditioned desert shitholes, eating sand-sandwiches and camel-dung fritters while taking bullets and being ass-wipers for a guy who no longer can afford a meal at Taco Bell--- a guy who just had his sand-hideout foreclosed on, and his camel repossessed?


Basically, if you’re an internationally known asshole, and perhaps the world’s most wanted man, and hackers just happen to make off with all your cash… WHO you gonna call?

I say we play a little game of “Let’s find out.”

[The Dude]

LMAO!!!

Ya, I know. That was a racist post, but it got me laughing!

[AlbertWu]

LOL

dogbert once said:
there are 2 common ways of getting rich, inheritance, and robbery
the most preferable way is to let your parents to the robbery and you inherit it.

who's up for robbing bin laden?

(j/k)

[IceEnclosure]

man... i busted out the ROFL on AIM for that one... jeezus, that was funny stuff..


i say it'd work too but can't we just shoot at him a few times 'while' draining his acct? maybe just wound his ass

[The Dude]

Bullets? Nah. I vote for having like a dozen guys all spray pepper spray and mace RIGHT at em! Then, when he's down, whip out the tazers!

That'll REALLY make him go Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooock!

[Macfreak7]

get real you idiots
banks are not the only place he's gonna keep his money at. and whatever money he even does have in banks, its all under non-arabic names.
he is said to have assets in real estate, stocks, in the drug trade (of course) everything else you can imagine.
other ways he gets money is from indirect sources, allies. if it were that easy, none of last weeks incidents would have ever happened.

he is one smart **** and they have to start by killing him, and then probably his family. he is said to have 18 or so kids. he is arguably the root of terrorism in its form today, they have to eliminate him first.

[pathogen]

Originally posted by Macfreak7:
<STRONG>he is arguably the root of terrorism in its form today, they have to eliminate him first.</STRONG>

I agree, it'd be funny to see him humiliated and broke for a while, but he was responsible for killing upwards of 6,000 American people this week. Osama bin Laden probably won't like what George W. has in mind.

Personally, I hope the secret details, kept from the press, involve stinging jellyfish followed by Great White Sharks, and a visit to the set of the next Tom Arnold sitcom where he guest stars as an urn.

[IceEnclosure]

18 or so kids? jeezus... am i a bad dood if i say they shouldn't live to see another birthday?

[Matsu]

Freezing assets can work, but it won't be instantanious. It did, however, help the FBI finally break the back of the old Mafia families. This would take more time and effort, but generally speaking, nothing creates movement among criminals like the perception of theft. They end up crawling out of the wood work as they try to settle up -- who ripped me off, score to settle, this guy stole from me, that guy snitched and so on -- until they basically do each other in out of their own suspicion of each other. A little forensic accounting is not only a good way of prosecuting, it's also a good way of 'smokin 'em out'

BTW, that was ROTFLMAO funny.

[pscates]

That was the first post I'd seen here that was meant to be funny that actually made me laugh out loud.

Good writing, hard drive.

[anarkisst]

Ha, ha. Very funny. We have to understand that bin laden isn't a psycho idiot. He's a shrewd, evil genius. When I heard on the news and read this article it sent chills down my spine...I posted it here from the MSNBC site for you because the MSNBC site sucks as far as design...

"GERMAN OFFICIALS have asked the FBI and the Securities and Exchange Commission to look into whether bin Laden�s associates may have �sold short� stock in a Munich, Germany, company that holds secondary insurance on the World Trade Center.

Short-selling can produce huge profits when a stock plummets because of unanticipated bad news � unanticipated, that is, by all except those involved in a conspiracy to cause that bad news.
�
In a short sale, an investor would borrow a certain number of shares from a broker, immediately sell them, and then once the stock price had fallen, buy shares to return to the broker.
�
Those who reaped profits from the European short sales may have deposited their profits in American banks, giving U.S. law enforcement agencies jurisdiction.

�The Italian newspaper Corriere della Serra reported Saturday that the FBI is looking into possible short-selling of the stocks of reinsurance companies in the four trading days before the terrorist attacks on the United States on Tuesday. Reinsurance firms assume risk by providing backup insurance for insurance companies.
�
The stocks of the three reinsurance companies � AXA in France, Munich Re in Germany and Swiss Re in Switzerland � dropped 13 percent to 15 percent in the week before the attack.
�
Analysts suggested at the time that the drops were anomalous � unexplained � since the reinsurance business was healthy and premium payments were on the way up.
�
In fact, before the terrorist attacks, the Financial Times on Tuesday published a positive report on the industry."

Nothing wrong in injecting some humor to the situation we're in but when you're facing the reality of the situation and who we are dealing with...it ain't funny.