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You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > What would you do if you controlled microsoft for a day?

What would you do if you controlled microsoft for a day?
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Duffman_108
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Jun 6, 2004, 11:18 PM
 
What would you do if you controlled microsoft for a day? If i had controll of microsoft i would take all the money.
DuFfMaN_108 the true PC GAMER!!! since 1998
     
ghost_flash
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Jun 6, 2004, 11:19 PM
 
Put it up for auction on Ebay for $1.00 no reserve.



I think I'd get $1.50, or $1.5 trillion... whatever.
...
     
BasketofPuppies
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Jun 6, 2004, 11:21 PM
 
Raid petty cash.

And take all the free cola home.
inscrutable impenetrable impregnable inconceivable
     
G4ME
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Jun 6, 2004, 11:34 PM
 
run around screaming and pissing every one off that was trying to work.

I GOT WASTED WITH PHIL SHERRY!!!
     
Axo1ot1
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Jun 6, 2004, 11:34 PM
 
First off I'd fire bill gates and void his stock options to see the look on his face. Next I'd cancel all the products they sell and open the source codes to everything. I'd keep the customer service part of the company with enough money to operate for 5 more years. I'd pay myself a billion dollars and pay for the rest of my college and pay for the rest of all my friend's educations. Then I'd give the rest of the money to charity in anonymous no-strings-attached donations.
     
gorickey
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Jun 6, 2004, 11:38 PM
 
Kill myself due to the guilt of running a place that produces the Windows OS...
     
dampeoples
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:15 AM
 
Visit their bank, make large cash withdrawals.
     
phantomdragonz
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:23 AM
 
give out all the source files to the web... and then give gates his job back. let the gov't deal with all the issues (backdoors/spying/built in weakness/ et cetera...)

P.D.
     
Dex13
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:40 AM
 
I would give everyone the day off in honor of apple.
     
Brass
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:52 AM
 
Eliminate poverty in a dozen or so 3rd world countries for decades to come and provide them with the knowledge and technology to provide for themselves in a self sustaining manner.

(this might take more than one day, but setting up the funds and instructions to do so, could be theoretically done in one day)

Oh, and open-source all MS software.
     
Will McGoonigle
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:53 AM
 
yawn...what time is it?

Oh..I would remove all the PCs, except in the gaming lounge, and install Macs. Then I'd run around with sweaty armpits singing Developers Developers Developers Developers.

I'd force them to port Direct X drivers for OSX on the same day too.
There are many young rightwing members on these forums proud to support Bush no matter what. If Bush is re-elected I'd like to see the look on these member's faces when they are drafted. Now watch this drive.
     
disectamac
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Jun 7, 2004, 01:01 AM
 
I'd call Steve Jobs and ask him what he would do if he were in control of MS for a day.
     
rozwado1
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Jun 7, 2004, 01:07 AM
 
Originally posted by G4ME:
run around screaming and pissing on everyone that was trying to work.
Fixed.
     
Xeo
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Jun 7, 2004, 01:12 AM
 
I'd get as much money as one could get in a day. I'd figure out what to do with the money the next day.
     
Stogieman
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Jun 7, 2004, 02:24 AM
 
I'd make Steve Ballmer wear a pink tutu and have him do his "developers, developers, developers,..." dance in front of everyone at this year's WWDC.

Oh and I'd finally get Bill Gates a decent haircut.

Slick shoes?! Are you crazy?!
     
Peter
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Jun 7, 2004, 02:27 AM
 
Originally posted by disectamac:
I'd call Steve Jobs and ask him what he would do if he were in control of MS for a day.
we don't have time to stop for gas
     
mitchell_pgh
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Jun 7, 2004, 06:23 AM
 
- Move all the money to offshore accounts (my offshore accounts)
- Leak the code to everything
     
moonmonkey
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Jun 7, 2004, 06:57 AM
 
Quadruple the Mac Development team.

Get the VPC development team to make an XBOX 2 Emulator for the Mac and give it away free (to sell more games).

Bundle iTunes and quicktime with all copies of windows.

Ditch the WMA format in favor of AAC.

Do a **** in the middle of the boardroom.
     
rjenkinson
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Jun 7, 2004, 07:07 AM
 
offer $1000 for every bug reported.

-r.
     
ryju
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Jun 7, 2004, 07:53 AM
 
Streak.
     
mitchell_pgh
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Jun 7, 2004, 07:59 AM
 
Sell Microsoft to Apple for $500,000,000 in cash, transfer to my new island in Hawaii and never look back.
     
ghost_flash
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Jun 7, 2004, 08:09 AM
 
Originally posted by mitchell_pgh:
Sell Microsoft to Apple for $500,000,000 in cash, transfer to my new island in Hawaii and never look back.
I like the way you think... but why not a private auction, and start the bidding at $5,000,000,000.00?

What a news story that would be. 1 day auction for Microsoft. Private. You know Steve Jobs would do anything to win that sucker...

THEN

have the money transfered to your own private Island in Hawaii.



Or.. http://www.vladi-private-islands.de/...es/08_map.html
...
     
Xeo
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Jun 7, 2004, 11:24 AM
 
Originally posted by rjenkinson:
offer $1000 for every bug reported.

-r.
... to the public.
     
mitchell_pgh
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Jun 7, 2004, 11:30 AM
 
Originally posted by Xeo:
... to the public.
That would make them tank within the first two hours, what would you do with the remaining 6 hours? I'm guessing file for bankruptcy.
     
Superchicken
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:06 PM
 
If I was in charge for a day. Change company policy so that I was in charge from that point on

At which point I'd tell everyone in the company to stop behaving so immorally. Stop all black projects etc.

Change the company's name to Mango, and give Apple, Google, and IBM a call and see if we couldn't make the company into something that would actually be good for the world
     
hayesk
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:18 PM
 
Sell off any "non-core" business like the stake in MSNBC, and all of the stupid media outfits they like to stick their mitts in for no other reason than they don't have their mitts in there already.

Open source Windows and all related technologies except for the ones that I want to close down:
- .NET
- Windows Media
- DirectX (people can use OpenGL)
- Instant Messenger
- SQLServer
- XBox will be closed, but all in-house games will be ported to GC and/or PS2.

All employees in these divisions will get million dollar severance packages so I don't put them in the street. The good ones will be hired for my "GUI overhaul" team.

That's all I can think of for now.
     
ghost_flash
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:20 PM
 
Change the name to Orange. So then when people compared OS X to MS Windows, they then would be comparing apples and oranges...
...
     
Chemmy
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Jun 7, 2004, 12:21 PM
 
I'd suck out all the cash I could, and then I'd burn it all to the ground.

Not that I have any particular hate for Microsoft, I just want to burn an office complex to the ground while its employees celebrate in the parking lot.

1.25ghz 15" PowerBook
     
el chupacabra
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Jun 7, 2004, 03:38 PM
 
1st I'd withdraw 300 dollars and buy the purple giant a new phone.

2. hire an assassin to kill the thieves.

3. next buy a country and become dictator.

4. Revive BeOS and throw windows in the garbage.

5. donate 3 billion to Ralph Nader's campaign.

6. donate 1 billion to the save the manatee fund

7. with the remaining money...

...buy the rain forest and save my people.

oh almost forgot I'll throw in a billion to the save the
Kakapo parrot fund.
You arent special. You dont have value just because you were born. You are a net drain on the planet. Respect must be earned & your value must be proven. Endangered species are special, & their survival should take priority over your comfort.
     
Superchicken
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Jun 7, 2004, 04:01 PM
 
Correction, I'd also in addition to making myself the permanent leader, buy big shares in Google, IBM and Apple so they had to help me reform the giant!!!
     
paully dub
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Jun 7, 2004, 04:09 PM
 
Originally posted by Superchicken:
Call up Steve Jobs and yell at him for screwing up my damn logic board.

Adopt-A-Yankee
     
Lateralus
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Jun 7, 2004, 04:32 PM
 
Sell Microsoft to McDonalds for $20,000. Just because 'McDonalds Windows' sounds funny...
I like chicken
I like liver
Meow Mix, Meow Mix
Please de-liv-er
     
Millennium
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Jun 7, 2004, 04:46 PM
 
One day?

Probably nothing. One day isn't enough to do anything which cannot be easily reversed the following day. Give me a year, and then we'll see.
You are in Soviet Russia. It is dark. Grue is likely to be eaten by YOU!
     
DeathToWindows
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Jun 7, 2004, 06:54 PM
 
Originally posted by Stogieman:
I'd make Steve Ballmer wear a pink tutu and have him do his "developers, developers, developers,..." dance in front of everyone at this year's WWDC.
would you provide barf bags too?

Let's see... shove the entire XP team into developing VPC, kill Windows Media, deliver ball-kicks to their GUI people for winBlows, OSS/FOSS everything... and let Linus use gates' head for a dartboard...

One more thing: drain their cash account.

Don't try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
     
rozwado1
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Jun 7, 2004, 07:53 PM
 
Originally posted by ghost_flash:
Change the name to Orange. So then when people compared OS X to MS Windows, they then would be comparing apples and oranges...
     
   
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