[Axo1ot1]

Some of you might be vaguely aware that I've been working on a movie for the past year or so. We finally cut a decent trailer for it. Tell me what you think!


click

The flick will hopefully be done by the end of the month.

[amsalpemkcus]

sorry, but I have to say it has "boring" written all over it. i have a few ideas though...

[Axo1ot1]

don't hold back

[Gankdawg]

You need that guy with the really deep voice doing the narrating. But he's not cheap!

[amsalpemkcus]

Originally posted by Axo1ot1:
don't hold back

1. remove all trace of hair from your face, shave head as well.

2. chase whatever it is naked

3. add rain and lightning at the spot that you open the door to get in whereever that is!, blood stains when you reach to push the door open.

4. you wake up there, you should be all curled up in bed when you do, wear only the underwear (make sure its night time, it looks like its day outside) but the room should be like something exploded inside (gives the impression that its all fecked up and you have no idea what order is anymore), you should be drenched in sweat, as much as when you got drenched in the rain.

5. is that your girlfriend (in the movie?) now she should be yelling at you (no sound) and throwing things at you in that shot (you dont duck to avoid getting hit)

6. try to have an agitated look on your face all the time.

7. those two dudes with you, lose them, get two homeless guys walkin with you, one on an old bicycle, and the other eating a dirty apple.

8. now, once you have made the trailer go make the movie to fit what you just showed in the trailer.

9. oh, yeah, get that beotch who was yelling at you in a shower scene, add it in before you open that door.

10. no audio whatsoever anywhere, all trailer silent except the lightning and thunder scene when you open the door and the shower scene, and running scene, footsteps sound...



good luck!

[Axo1ot1]

well that's not me, I co-wrote and co-directed it, but I did not act in it

and there is a shower scene

[amsalpemkcus]

Originally posted by Axo1ot1:
well that's not me, I co-wrote and co-directed it, but I did not act in it

act the part when you write it damnit!!

[dcolton]

I have no idea what the movie is about after watching the trailer.

I agree with amskel about the voice, but if he is the main character, I don't think there is much you can do about it unless you change to a third person narrative.

Also, I think the music should be a bit faster and a bit deeper...almost foreshadowing the climax of the movie. In other words, do you think the music sets the tone? If someone were to ask me to tell them wha tthe movie is about, I would think that it was about some kid who found out his entire life or point of view was a lie...that some sort of event or events leaading up to an event totally disallusioned the character.

(Local radio stations are full of voice talent, wannabees and established, that you can hire for cheap).

Any rate...good luck. I am sure it will be great!

just my opinion (since you asked)

[KrazyEvilGoat]

That guys voice is too whiney. The door he goes through is all wrong.

Might help if we knew what it is about. All I see now is a bad home movie.

[Axo1ot1]

Originally posted by KrazyEvilGoat:
That guys voice is too whiney. The door he goes through is all wrong.

Might help if we knew what it is about. All I see now is a bad home movie.

How do you differentiate between home movie and independent film?

[KrazyEvilGoat]

Originally posted by Axo1ot1:
How do you differentiate between home movie and independent film?

Good question. I was saying the trailer seemed like a home movie. Nothing happened, the plot wasn't outlined, I really couldn't tell you what the movie was about from that trailer.

[gorickey]

Originally posted by Axo1ot1:
...and there is a shower scene

Where is that in the trailer?

Sex sells.

[dillerX]

Does that shower scene contain a woman named Aria by chance?

[Face Ache]

Wobble-cam must die.

The angles are wrong (IMHO). I want to be a fly on the wall, not standing at the foot of someone's bed (is the cameraman, by any chance, 5'11"? )

The actor looks like a student. Students aren't interesting unless chased by monsters.

The actor also looks at the camera when he wakes up. He should look past it. Looking at the camera snaps the viewer out of the movie IMHO.

The (slightly whiny?) voiceover saying "nothing ever happens in it" isn't very enticing.

Um... plot? What's it all about, Alfie? He runs, he reads a bit, he discusses his reading material with his Mrs, he runs some more, he walks (tired from running?), he eats breakfast, runs some more... is this about a jogger?

What's with the hill shot?

Tempo <<< just a word I threw in to make it sound like I have a clue.

It seems like you're trying not to give too much away, whereas in Hollywood they put the best bits in the trailer. There's a reason for that.

Apart from that, you're off your arse and actually doing it, so 20 brownie points to you.

Oh, and add boobies.

[HotSoup]

Interesting...but I don't like the 'actor' guy as the main character. Guess it's to late now. But I don't like his voice and his...'acting'. And that's just from what i've seen in the trailer.

[greenamp]

I happen to think it looks very intresting! I would pay to see it.

[phoenixboy70]

i really like the first "surreal" part of the trailer, but it doesn't really fit in with the "campy" somewhat amateurish 2nd half. but maybe that's part of the movies plot?!

if so, and this is the movie's major theme, try and make the "awake" part a bit "exaggerated". speed up scenes just a bit. try and capture the essence of what is to be awake (as opposed to being in a "reality tv" show). people have just really gotten used to "bad acting" and "hypertext".

do more with lighting. use less actors (acting) if you don't have any real professionals. like i said, "reality" through crudeness seems more contrived than "real" these days....

interesting idea though.

btw, what kind of equipment are you using (apps)?

[Axo1ot1]

Thanks for the suggestions! We shot the flick last summer so all the production tips are noted, but not really helpful on this project. If you don't like the camera work, you aren't alone. I consider it my greatest weakness in making movies and my job this summer is interning for a DP precisely because I want to learn more and suck less.

We're going into the studio to do foley/mixdown later this month, so the sound stuff is pretty rough in the meantime.

We didn't give away much plot in the preview because the flick is only half an hour and heavily plot-driven. Giving away a lot of it in the preview just seemed like a bad call.

For those interested in what we made the flick with, we have a page about that on the main site.