[mfiske]

Here is a "LivePerson" help session transcript in which I registered a complaint about Skype not allowing Skype OS X users to use purchased SkypeOut credit. If you are not familiar with the problem, you are lucky. It has upset enough Mac users than many, MANY of them seem to be lodging fraud complaints with the FBI at http://www.ifccfbi.gov/index.asp

Anyway, this represents one of the most comical exchanges with a "human being" I have ever had. Enjoy:


You are now chatting with 'Paula'
Paula: Hello!
mfiske: Do you speak English as your primary language?
Paula: We provide Live Chat support in English only at this time
mfiske: OK. But that isn't what I asked. Is English your primary language? You, personally. I have spoken with other Skype support reps who CLEARLY were not as familiar with the language as they should have been.
Paula: Thank you for waiting. I'll be with you in just a moment.
mfiske: Oh, its no problem. I have been treated far worse than this by other Skype reps.
Paula: May I know the exact problem that you are facing ?
mfiske: Are you aware that you have a VERY SERIOUS problem affecting the Mac OS X version of Skype?
Paula: Please go ahead ./.
mfiske: You act like this is news to you, or something. You know: the problem where your paying, PREMIUM customers using OS X Skype purchase SkypeOut credit, are prevented from using it using your very own client software, and are told to wait anywhere from 20 minutes to 24 hours, and then to log out and try placing a call again, which plain DOESN'T CORRECT the issue.
Paula: To resolve this problem please log out of Skype by (File -> "Log Off") and then re-log in after 2 minutes. You will be able to make the calls. Please be sure NOT to close/exit Skype or your computer. Please remember Logging off is different from closing Skype.
mfiske: To give you the benefit of the doubt, I in fact waited 48 hours. Still can't use the SkypeOut credit that I paid for.
mfiske: Did you just make some sort of change on my account to correct this problem?
Paula: This is a known issue. You can try to place a call even if you do not see the correct account balance. The account balance will be updated automatically after the call connects.
mfiske: Because I have been logged out for the past 60 minutes. As per your instructions, I just logged in, and it didn't work.
mfiske: I am sorry, but you are wrong. I just tried to place a call. I receive this alert message from my Mac: "Sorry, insufficient SkypeOut credit to place call. Please add to your account and try again."
mfiske: Do you have a Mac, or can you even see one in the same room you're in right now?
Paula: Please provide me with your Skype user name .
mfiske: I told you from the start that this issue involves the Mac OS X version of Skype, and the things you are suggesting simply don't work for me, or any other Mac OS X user for that matter. In fact, it is my understanding that thousands of Mac users are sending Skype fraud reports to the FBI here in the US.
mfiske: My Skype username, oddly enough, is mfiske.
Paula: Please wait one moment while I check that for you
mfiske: I am looking for an actual solution this time. I do not expect to end this support call without some actual progress, and I certainly don't expect you to read to me from a list of canned responses.
Paula: You have Account Balance
Paula: SkypeOut service
Paula: Started on 2005-02-12 05:02
Paula: Expires on 2005-08-11 06:08
Paula: Remaining days 178
Paula: Is recurring no
Paula: Balance 10.000 EUR
Paula: Start value 10.000 EUR
Paula: Please try to call now .
mfiske: DO YOU HAVE A MAC? DID YOU JUST MAKE SOME SORT OF CHANGE TO MY ACCOUNT? Because, AGAIN, I am presented with an alert that says, as you might expect: "Sorry, insufficient SkypeOut credit to place call. Please add to your account and try again."
mfiske: PLEASE answer those first two questions before you ask me to do something else.
Paula: I'm sorry for the delay. I'll be right with you.
Paula: I understand. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Our technicians are working to resolve this problem. This should be done in the coming hours. We request for your cooperation.
mfiske: Do you have a Mac there?
Paula: Sorry ?
mfiske: Do you have an Apple computer there that you can experience these problems on first hand?
mfiske: Because if you did, you and ALL of your "support" staff friends would know that the things you are offering as "solutions" to this massive problem, DO NOT WORK on Skype Mac OS X. Plain and simple.
mfiske: I was told, a full 24 hours ago, that "this should be done in the coming hours." I PAID for your PREMIUM SERVICE, and have instead received SUBHUMAN SERVICE>
Paula: We are facing some temporary technical problem Please try after some time .
mfiske: OK, but answer a very simple question: Do you have an Apple Macintosh computer there, in the same room you are working from, or not?
Paula: Yes,
mfiske: Then why do you continue to offer "solutions" that you should understand do NOT work. See, enough Mac users have gotten upset enough with your "support" system, where you suggest "solutions" that just plain and simple DO NOT WORK, that you are getting, literally, THOUSANDS of fraud reports made to the FBI. If that doesn't impact your technicians, or other superiors, in some way, I don't know what should.
Paula: I am keep saying we are facing some temporary technical problem .
mfiske: If your superiors aren't careful, they are going to wind up being shut out of the US market.
mfiske: "I am keep saying"? What?
Paula: Please try to call now .
mfiske: Did you make some sort of change to my account?
Paula: Please try to call now .
mfiske: Did you make some sort of change to my account that should remedy this problem?
Paula: I will be right with you.
Paula: PLease try to call .
Paula: Now ]
mfiske: Did you make some sort of change to my account that should correct the problem? Yes or no?
Paula: Please try to call now I wonder if you please try to call now .
mfiske: That is not the language I speak.
mfiske: Please clarify.
Paula: Yes
mfiske: Yes? Yes what?
Paula: Please try to call .
mfiske: Since I have my doubts that you are a real person, and I have my doubts that you will answer the question as to whether you have in fact made a change to my account that you expect to be of any assistance to the problem at hand, I will tell you have I have tried to call 5 times in the past five minutes, and each time, I get an alert that says (you guessed it!): "Sorry, insufficient SkypeOut credit to place call. Please add to your account and try again."
Paula: I understand. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Our technicians are working to resolve this problem. This should be done in the coming hours. We request for your cooperation.
mfiske: That is exactly what you said nearly 20 minutes ago. Are you a real person, in fact?
Paula: Yes, Please cooperate with us we are facing some temporary technical problem , Please try after some time .
mfiske: And I mean EXACTLY. Like you copied and pasted it. OR...you are a robotic being from the planet Vulcan...
Paula: Please try to understand we are working over it .
Paula: I know you are facing problem .
Paula: I can understand your problem .
mfiske: You have said these exact things before. And I mean, EXACT.
Paula: Please believe us .
You are not currently in a chat session."

[naphtali]

Sounds like they've mapped some of those phrases to function keys!

I don't use skype but I sure hope your issue gets resolved soon!

[bwahahax]

That sucks, but, if I may say so, that conversation is HILarious!

[bmedina]

LOL! pwned by a bot! That's classic.

[Superchicken]

Dang... that was uhh... mind numbing...

[jasong]

I know I always get better technical support when I treat the person on the other end like they aren't human . . .

Keep it up, they'll refund your money simply because they won't want you as a customer.

-- Jason

[mfiske]

...for the lesson in morality, Father Jasong!

I have been very patient with them since the problem was uncovered, and they copy and paste, lie, and even deny that there's a problem. I am not the only one who has had an experience like that with these "people."

[Sarc]

I guess outsourcing support calls to India is nothing compared to outsourcing them to a bot that could perfectly be an AppleScript ... damn !

[jasong]

Wow, I've never been confused for a christian before

Just to be clear, I am not saying you aren't being ripped off or screwed over, just saying your way of going about it isn't likely to yield positive results. If there is a person on the other end of that line (I would suspect that it was actually a number of people, having fun at your expense), they can only follow the script they have and work with the equipment they are given. Again, not making excuses for bad service, just saying venting your anger at a sweatshop worker isn't getting anything done.

At this point I would suggest you let them know that you will be reversing the charges with your credit card company, and that they can drop you an email when the problem is fixed. Maybe you'll consider their services again.

-- Jason

[eatinwokout]

that was freakin hilarious. i wouldn't be surprised if the 'person' on the other end didn't have some sort ot notepad open where they could copy text to paste into the chat window. i used to work for the nordstroms call center and we had phrases that were were taught to use lol. funny stuff. im surprised that you were actually able to maintain some level of patience.

are you from planet vulcan? lol

sorry for your troubles though. i was about to try out skype but after that and from what i've heard from others i think ill stay away.

[Krusty]

Originally posted by eatinwokout:

sorry for your troubles though. i was about to try out skype but after that and from what i've heard from others i think ill stay away.

Don't fear trying out Skype. I've only used Skype Out a coupla times ... and it went off without a hitch both times. So the problem apparently isn't universal.

Second (and most important), the only thing about Skype that costs money is the Skype-Out calls to landline (or cell phone numbers). You needn't EVER purchase Skype Out to get benefit from the free Skype services (PC<->Mac audio chat that sounds FAR superior to any voice chat application I've ever used, instant messaging, and file transfer that really works between platforms. I have AIM, ICQ, and Yahoo IM accounts but I use (and prefer) Skype when possible -- its cross-platform file transfer and audio capabilities have been far more reliable for me than the other solutions. If AIM had a pay service to call land lines that sucked, you probably wouldn't avoid using the other features of AIM because of it ... you'd just avoid the sucky phone service. I've participated in totally free Skype conference calls with a buddy who was in CA and one who was in Thailand (I'm on East Coast US) and it worked perfectly. In fact, the only reason I bought Skype Out credit was because one evening I let my home (cordless) phone die on the same day I accidentally left my cell phone at work. I really needed to make a couple of calls and went through the Skype Out purchase process and was talking within a matter of minutes.

Point being: Forget about Skype Out .. if you need/want the free features Skype offers, problems with Skype Out are irrelevant. Just don't use Skype Out .. everything else about Skype is a big

[The Oracle]

on the older beta I was able to use skypeout on a mac powerbook. Looks like they introduced some new bugs in this newer release.

[dru]

BWHAHAHA. At least you actually got to 'talk' with tech support.

For a PC product, I've made calls on multiple radom occassions where I waited, PAYING for the call, for hours and there was never anything but a "your call is important to us" recording. Gimme a punjabi over a tape anyday!

Good luck with your Skype problem.

[Randman]

Originally posted by bmedina:
LOL! pwned by a bot!

[analogika]

Originally posted by dru:
BWHAHAHA. At least you actually got to 'talk' with tech support.

For a PC product, I've made calls on multiple radom occassions where I waited, PAYING for the call, for hours and there was never anything but a "your call is important to us" recording. Gimme a punjabi over a tape anyday!

90 minutes with AppleCare, at 12�/min.

[warpmoon]

Odd that Paula misspelt "Please" once though. A bot wouldn't do that.

[Fusion]

Originally posted by warpmoon:
Odd that Paula misspelt "Please" once though. A bot wouldn't do that.

Sure they would, to strike the appearance of reality.

[Sarc]

Originally posted by warpmoon:
Odd that Paula misspelt "Please" once though. A bot wouldn't do that.

new, version, powered by Human Deception Engine�, get your facts right ... jesus.