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Cody Dawg · Jul 25, 2006, 10:11 AM

Christie Brinkley's husband says I'm sorry because I'm stupid link.

Okay, since there are a lot of guys (mostly) on this forum I want to know if any of you understand this guy's mindset (Brinkley's husband, Peter Cook.)

How can a guy find someone SO irresistible that he cheats on his (some would say beautiful) wife and jeopardize or ruin his marriage?

Seriously, are men SO sexually oriented that they cannot control themselves? I guess that's my question. At what point, specifically, do you say, "Having sex with this person is more important than my wife and marriage and home life."

Just wondering?

Landos Mustache · Jul 25, 2006, 10:14 AM

Celebrities are so much more interesting than regular people.

Jul 25, 2006, 10:20 AM

When someone I'm with wants me to promise fidelity, I just can't. Though I'm not out looking for it, if it happens to fall into my lap, so to speak, I'm not going to let an opportunity pass me by. That's not to say that just anyone who wants to give it up I would do it with, though. There has to be chemistry between us and it can't mean much more than what it is - not looking for a girlfriend or a relationship out of the deal.

Honestly though, the woman I've been with on and off (currently "on") for about 15 years feels the same way so it works out.

BRussell · Jul 25, 2006, 10:20 AM

The Coolidge Effect. Men just seem to like variety.

I also wonder if some people - men or women - just enjoy the thrill and danger of doing something crazy that might get them into trouble. The same reason some rich women shoplift.

chris v · Jul 25, 2006, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by Landos Mustache

Celebrities are so much more interesting than regular people.

Welcome to Celebreality! It's the latest craze in Infotainment!

badidea · Jul 25, 2006, 10:35 AM

Beauty isn't everything!
Maybe Christie smells?

mac128k-1984 · Jul 25, 2006, 10:38 AM

I don't understand it and to be perfectly honest if he's cheated once he'll do it again.

I know from experience, it broke up my marriage - the silver lining in that expereince is I found the woman of my dreams and I now have two beautiful girls

two major dynamics have occured with his infidelity, first there's zero trust now and that is almost impossible to get back, time and a lot of work may build the trust back up but there will always be questions in Cristie's mind.

Second dynamic is: Whatever urge, desire that drove him to commit adultary is still in him and again that can be resolved but only with time and counseling, both individual and couple counseling.

I tried the reconcilation process and it was hard and painful only to have her leave a second time (which was the last for me, that's when I changed the locks) add on top of that the demands of being a celebrity and having your life lived out in the paparazzi.

As for the OP's original question, I cannot fathom doing that (especially with what happened to me) so I cannot answer but I can understand what she's going through.

Cody Dawg · Jul 25, 2006, 10:40 AM

screamingFit

When someone I'm with wants me to promise fidelity, I just can't. Though I'm not out looking for it, if it happens to fall into my lap, so to speak, I'm not going to let an opportunity pass me by. That's not to say that just anyone who wants to give it up I would do it with, though. There has to be chemistry between us and it can't mean much more than what it is - not looking for a girlfriend or a relationship out of the deal.

Honestly though, the woman I've been with on and off (currently "on") for about 15 years feels the same way so it works out.

So, basically it sounds like:"

a) You've been in a relationship for 15 years during which you cheat so
b) You don't commit to anyone fully - including the relationship you've been in for 15 years
c) You're in a relationship for 15 years so it makes sense that you tell people you have flings with that you don't want to be committed, right?

Doofy · Jul 25, 2006, 10:47 AM

It's the boobies. It wouldn't occur if chicks didn't have boobies. Or if they all had identical boobies.

Jul 25, 2006, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

So, basically it sounds like:"

a) You've been in a relationship for 15 years during which you cheat so
b) You don't commit to anyone fully - including the relationship you've been in for 15 years
c) You're in a relationship for 15 years so it makes sense that you tell people you have flings with that you don't want to be committed, right?

a) Well, "cheat" - no. My SO and I know about each other's encounters. Heck, we usually know the people.
b) Committed sexually? Nope. But just because we have sex with other people doesn't mean we aren't committed to each other. To us, sex has little to do with love.
c) We explain to everyone we hook up with what the deal is.

Sex = Commitment is a Judeo-Christian ideal that we don't follow.

Rumor · Jul 25, 2006, 01:16 PM

You can only eat the same cereal for so long...

Spliff · Jul 25, 2006, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

How can a guy find someone SO irresistible that he cheats on his (some would say beautiful) wife and jeopardize or ruin his marriage?

Seriously, are men SO sexually oriented that they cannot control themselves? I guess that's my question. At what point, specifically, do you say, "Having sex with this person is more important than my wife and marriage and home life."

Just wondering?

Of course, "having sex with this person is more important than my wife and marriage and home life" if the cheater is unhappy with his home life. Maybe his sex life with Christie is shite. Maybe she never feels like doing it anymore. Maybe he wants it 5/week and she only wants it 1/month. After a while it becomes intolerable and instead of leaving the marriage first, he cheats. Or maybe cheating is a passive-aggressive way of ending the marriage. Maybe her husband has a desperate need for approval and he just wasn't getting it at home.

Hell, there are a dozen other potential reasons why he would cheat.

Spliff · Jul 25, 2006, 03:09 PM

Okay, I just read the article. The girl he slept with is 18 years old. He's 47. No wonder he cheated. She's a hot young nymphette. You can't say no to candy like that. Not when you're 47 and more than halfway to your death. You just can't. You gotta grab that candy, unwrapped it, and suck on it.

Ooo yeah!

Cody Dawg · Jul 25, 2006, 03:10 PM

And you think it's okay?

Because someone (a spouse) wants more sex than the other that makes it okay to cheat?

Hash · 02:26 AM

I perfectly understand Brinkley's husband. He isn't wrong. He's done nothing bad. All was by mutual concent. You cannot blame him.

Spliff · Jul 25, 2006, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

And you think it's okay?

Because someone (a spouse) wants more sex than the other that makes it okay to cheat?

I never said it's okay. I'm just speculating on some of the reasons WHY he might of cheated. I'm not endorsing them.

Marriage is a contract; he broke the contract. And he broke his trust with his wife.

lpkmckenna · Jul 25, 2006, 03:17 PM

Okay, since there are some gals on this forum I want to know if any of you understand this mindset.

How can a woman find someone SO irresistible that she cheats on her husband and jeopardizes or ruin her marriage?

Seriously, are women SO sexually oriented that they cannot control themselves? I guess that's my question. At what point, specifically, do you say, "Having sex with this person is more important than my husband and marriage and home life."

Just wondering?

Hash · 02:29 AM

More I think about it, more I believe that we are stupid to be victims of our own rules. Rules do not exist in nature and are not carved in stone; we invent them and each society on each stage of development had its own rules. Rules can be changed, replaced or may die because they no longer fit the reality. They exist only in our mind and they have impact only because in our minds we follow them. But ultimately who decides if the particular rule was right or not? .. who we are to judge..

What Brinkley did may was wrong in a Christian society, but perfectly right in Muslim society or (if he could marry another wife) OK with mormons. See? If you cannot say which society is more correct, you cannot say if he was wrong at all. Cause the rules apply only to a definite subset of human society. There are universal ones, like not to kill, but again - until 20 century, it was perfectly legal to kill someone for a word in Europe -or be killed - it was called duel..and there were whole rituals for that ritual killing like preparing pistols or swords, having a referee, measure the distance.. or recall Wild West and its shooter cowboys.. Brinkley had money to buy time with a nice girl, had fun and I bet his wife knew it. Maybe she had her fun. So what. You cannot blame people for having fun. And there ARE NO ultimate rules. Man, it sucks but its true.

Hash · Jul 25, 2006, 03:33 PM

Rules we create may ease our life; they can make it a hell. Girls are mutilated in Africa - thats a local rule. There are honor killings in Pakistan, where fathers kill own daughters and become heroes. Maybe Brinkley was wrong to live in a society where sleeping with women he was attracted to is considered to be wrong for married men. Now imagine that we had a rule FORCING married men to sleep with women other than his wife. Then he would a perfect husband and some loyal dude considered to be an impotent who cannot satisfy no one except his own wife - too selfish, weak or whatever. And can we judge and destroy others' life for those stupid rules? I do not know.

Hash · Jul 25, 2006, 03:35 PM

I do not justify him but I think that circumstances matter. Maybe living with a supermodel wife, constantly in center of mens' attraction and probably quite hard to live with..made him to have his own small world.. who knows. This sucks but its reality

scaught · Jul 25, 2006, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Hash

All was by mutual concent. You cannot blame him.

something tells me mrs brinkley didn't consent (once you get married, you should probably involve that "significant other" person)

invisibleX · Jul 25, 2006, 04:07 PM

The thing is Hash that while he did not do anything morally wrong (for arguments sake, he may well have) but he did wrong his wife. Having fun is fine if you're in a position to do so. Marriage is a commitment (again, for arguments sake.. damn technicalities) to ONE person. You can be responsible and honor this vow, or you can screw around and dishonor it and pay the consequences.

Now people like to spout things like "oh but its just wrong in our judeo-christian" blah blah blah. If he couldn't stand her don't stay with her. If you can't keep a commitment don't make one.

Just don't tell me you HAD to bang that. People make mistakes yes. No need to justify them.

Cody Dawg · Jul 25, 2006, 04:55 PM

Great post invisibleX. You made some excellent points. You're right: He could have said, "I'm not feeling it anymore and I want out" and have gone on his own way and done his own thing. Hopefully no one passed any diseases around during his sexcapades - that would be my worry if my spouse did that.

nredman · Jul 25, 2006, 10:11 PM

i don;'t think you can group this dumbass with all men - some people are stupid - any men who cheats on his wife is a piece of ****

Ghoser777 · Jul 25, 2006, 10:33 PM

Just pointing some things out: Christine has been married four times... how can a woman so beautiful be married four times (not concurrently - I'd get that)? Most men (I think) would look at her and think, "If I got her, I'd clean up my act and not mess this one up." But I guess that's before you're married to her.

But back to my original question... how can she be married four times? One thing that comes to mind is that just because a woman is beautiful, it doesn't make her automatically compatible with you. Maybe all she has is beauty and money - perhaps she has no personality, nothing to say, isn't very smart, etc.

Now before I get flamed, let me be clear that I don't think you should cheat on your wife, and what Peter did was definitely wrong. But I think the above captures my guestimation of the situation.

production_coordinator · Jul 25, 2006, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by Ghoser777

Just pointing some things out: Christine has been married four times... how can a woman so beautiful be married four times (not concurrently - I'd get that)? Most men (I think) would look at her and think, "If I got her, I'd clean up my act and not mess this one up." But I guess that's before you're married to her.

But back to my original question... how can she be married four times? One thing that comes to mind is that just because a woman is beautiful, it doesn't make her automatically compatible with you. Maybe all she has is beauty and money - perhaps she has no personality, nothing to say, isn't very smart, etc.

Now before I get flamed, let me be clear that I don't think you should cheat on your wife, and what Peter did was definitely wrong. But I think the above captures my guestimation of the situation.

I'm not going to flame you.

We don't know anything about their relationship I love how Cody Dawg just assumes it was 100% him. I've found that it's usually somewhere closer to the middle. For all we know, she was an ice queen.

Yah, he cheated, and that was wrong... but I doubt things were good before that.

I hate casting judgement without knowing anything about the situation.

Kerrigan · Jul 25, 2006, 11:38 PM

edit wrong post

The Godfather · Jul 25, 2006, 11:42 PM

Mr Cook should have divorced her before getting into bed with the young girl.

Spliff · Jul 26, 2006, 01:17 AM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Mr Cook should have divorced her before getting into bed with the young girl.

Maybe his "launch window" was too small and he had to make his move.

Hash · Jul 26, 2006, 02:34 AM

Originally Posted by invisibleX

The thing is Hash that while he did not do anything morally wrong (for arguments sake, he may well have) but he did wrong his wife. Having fun is fine if you're in a position to do so. Marriage is a commitment (again, for arguments sake.. damn technicalities) to ONE person. You can be responsible and honor this vow, or you can screw around and dishonor it and pay the consequences.

Well, I agree with you and understand your logic 100% - you can even say I am sharing it. However, the shades of grey regarding this issue are too undistinguishable in my view. There are things which are considered to be fine yet in essense are much worse yet are not jugded so severily. You see how many rich and very old people marry young models or similar cases. Is it morally wrong to buy yourself a young wife?

And yes, we do not know why Brinkley did what he did. Maybe his wife did not allow him to touch her for months. What you gonna do then?

aberdeenwriter · Jul 26, 2006, 04:52 AM

Originally Posted by badidea

Beauty isn't everything!
Maybe Christie smells?

This may be the funniest thing I've ever read from you!

aberdeenwriter · Jul 26, 2006, 04:55 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

It's the boobies. It wouldn't occur if chicks didn't have boobies. Or if they all had identical boobies.

aberdeenwriter · Jul 26, 2006, 05:23 AM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Mr Cook should have divorced her before getting into bed with the young girl.

And, speaking hypothetically, what if he enjoyed his marriage just fine but also wanted to enjoy the pretty young thing too?

I'm reminded of a Lou Rawls song, "Street Corner Hustler's Blues."

"I'm in a world of trouble
I don't know what to do
I'm supposed to be one woman's man
but I am in love with two.

One is my treasure
and one is my treat
they are both such a pleasure
cuz they're both so sweet

I can't put either of em down
that's why I'm slippin round
cuz I'm livin double,
I'm in a world of trouble

Kevin · Jul 26, 2006, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by Hash

I perfectly understand Brinkley's husband. He isn't wrong. He's done nothing bad. All was by mutual concent. You cannot blame him.

Um no.

chris v · Jul 26, 2006, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by aberdeenwriter

And, speaking hypothetically, what if he enjoyed his marriage just fine but also wanted to enjoy the pretty young thing too?

Well, then he'd be just a normal, everyday asshole. I have no doubt that she can find someone more deserving of her.

aberdeenwriter · Jul 26, 2006, 09:16 AM

The couple I met both had unsuccessful relationships behind them due to their inability to remain faithful. When they met and eventually decided to start seeing each other they compared stories and realized the key FOR THEM was to get married and bring variety into the marriage.

I have no idea how well their theory stood up over the intervening 18 or so years. But I respected that they knew themselves well enough to not keep repeating a model of behavior that wasn't working for them.

And I think it was kind of them to stop hurting others by facing up to the truth. They were just too horny to resist infidelity. Some of us might be on our 8th marriage still trying to fit our size 12 lives into a size 10 convention and expecting a different outcome.

Although I've heard the good book suggests we should persevere to the end.

besson3c · Jul 26, 2006, 10:11 AM

Mods, I think this contraversial and popular Brinkley-gate story should be made into a sticky, just so that there aren't multiple threads about it.

BRussell · Jul 26, 2006, 11:00 AM

Brinkley-gate is right. He's Hillary's Monica:

typoon · Jul 26, 2006, 11:21 AM

Do people really care? This happens all the time with celebs. Nothing surprising. Not even news.

aberdeenwriter · Jul 26, 2006, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Mods, I think this contraversial and popular Brinkley-gate story should be made into a sticky, just so that there aren't multiple threads about it.

Ha, ha!

Chuckit · Jul 26, 2006, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by typoon

Do people really care? This happens all the time with people in general. Nothing surprising. Not even news.

Fixed.™ Human beings ain't perfect. How can people live in this world so long and continue to be surprised by this fact?