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Apple vs. Microsoft (Joke)
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Canada
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Was going through some of my images here and found this joke. Been a few years since I have seen this so figured I would post and hope it has not been posted lately.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: 888500128, C3, 2nd soft.
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I'm trying to figure out what the joke (not a bad one) has to do with Microsoft and Apple.
Actually, I'm not.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 1999
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How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just define darkness as a new standard.
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"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
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Senior User
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot 
I'm trying to figure out what the joke (not a bad one) has to do with Microsoft and Apple.
It's probably trying to say that Microsoft copies Apple but yet they don't do it that well while Apple outsmarts Microsoft with a different version. That's my guess if you are really trying to find the Microsoft and Apple association with the joke.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 1999
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Joke my dad told me when he was working at ROLM:
What's the difference between a DEC Alpha and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball has more software.
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"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Standing on the shoulders of giants
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Originally Posted by olePigeon
Joke my dad told me when he was working at ROLM:
What's the difference between a DEC Alpha and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball has more software.
I worked for a company that ran MS Exchange on DEC Alphas (98/99). We also had the 999 (equivalent to US 911) system on the DECs.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Caught in a web of deceit.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 1999
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Originally Posted by mattyb
I worked for a company that ran MS Exchange on DEC Alphas (98/99). We also had the 999 (equivalent to US 911) system on the DECs.
The joke was funny in the 80s.
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"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
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Original joke is old, but I've never heard it ascribed to Apple vs Microsoft before.
It's usually engineers vs accountants.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by olePigeon
The joke was funny in the 80s.
What joke?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 1999
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Originally Posted by moonmonkey
What joke?
This one:
Originally Posted by olePigeon
What's the difference between a DEC Alpha and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball has more software.
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"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: England
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Originally Posted by - - e r i k - -
Original joke is old, but I've never heard it ascribed to Apple vs Microsoft before.
I heard it with Apple guys travelling on one ticket first, then the Microsoft guys travelling on no ticket after, thus representing how Microsoft see Apple have a good idea, then copy it and totally screw them 
Amorya
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What the nerd community most often fail to realize is that all features aren't equal. A well implemented and well integrated feature in a convenient interface is worth way more than the same feature implemented crappy, or accessed through a annoying interface.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Jan 2004
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I like this Physicist, Statistician Mathematician one:
A physicist, a statistician and a mathematician are in a train when they pass a field full of white sheep, with one black sheep. Look says the physicist, they have black sheep here.
No, says the mathematician they have at least ONE black sheep.
No says the statistician, they have at least one sheep with the side facing us painted black.
Not sure what it's supposed to mean with regard to each type of person though.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: 888500128, C3, 2nd soft.
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That joke is slightly mangled, and incomplete.
There's a philosopher along, as well, who notes that they have at least one sheep with at least one side black some of the time.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Washington, DC
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"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Baltimore
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There's really only one joke I like in the 'three different professions are talking' genre.
A surgeon, an architect and an attorney were at the country club showing off their dogs. The doctor says "my dog is a genius, watch...'go to work Scalpel!'" At which point his Cocker Spaniel begins running back and forth to the kitchen, returning each time with discarded bones in his mouth, and then assembles them into a representation of a human skeleton. "Not bad," says the architect. "But watch this..."go to work Blueprint!" Immediately his Greyhound starts rearranging the bones, going back and forth into the kitchen to get more, until he has assembled them into a scale model of the Sydney Opera House. Unimpressed the lawyer says "Nice...now, go to work Lawsuit!" Wherein his Rottie eats all the bones, the Spaniel and the Greyhound.
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