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Sex with a cat
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Ω
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May 18, 2005, 08:38 AM
 
Now that I have everybody's attention, how do you tell the sex OF A cat?

More importantly how do you tell if it has been "fixed"?

Reason why I ask is that a neighbourhood cat has been hanging around a lot in the last week and I THINK it has been abandoned by its owners, meaning I have been feeding it tasty treats .

Just wanting to investigate the possible situations that might occur if I end up being the proud owner of this stray, who chose me to be its new owner.

To make matters worse I am moving in 6 months meaning I will have to unload this poor critter. Luckily for me I will just dump him/her on my parents, unlike the other poor emasculated cat owner in the other thread ( ). If I do impose on the goodwill of my parents I would like to at least have the cat "prepared".

Or I could be completely wrong, and this damn varmint is just in it for the cat biscuits and the warm house and using me like a complete bitch!!

Thoughts?

Also before I go performing surgery on this animal (in front of a high school class) I would no doubt ensure that the cat is indeed abandoned by trying to track down the owner. I am NOT a Catknapper!

     
storer
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May 18, 2005, 08:47 AM
 
Hrmn, this topic title is highly deceitful!
     
Apple Pro Underwear
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May 18, 2005, 08:49 AM
 
PICS please!

you can tell if it's a girl byy rubbing i t's belly. Feel 6 nipples? It's gal!
     
Ω  (op)
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May 18, 2005, 08:58 AM
 
Originally Posted by Apple Pro Underwear
PICS please!

you can tell if it's a girl byy rubbing i t's belly. Feel 6 nipples? It's gal!
DOH! Forgot about the nipple gripple!

Will have to wait until an opportune moment arises and the mood is right to investigate.

Maybe I will buy steak?

Then again nothing worse than getting to the goodies and finding out it is a guy!

     
Ω  (op)
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May 18, 2005, 09:00 AM
 
Originally Posted by storer
Hrmn, this topic title is highly deceitful!
No beasty porn for you young man!
     
Shaddim
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May 18, 2005, 11:53 AM
 
Well, first you lace up the front of the cat in a boot... then... Oh, you want to know the cat's gender? Nevermind.


Does it have a pair dangly things hanging off the back? If so, it's a boy. If it doesn't, then it's probably a girl, unless it's been fixed (broken?). Look for the bump under it's butt, if it's next to it's ass, it's a girl, if it's further away, then it's a steer... err... neutered male.

Good luck, buy it a drink first, it'll make the process easier.
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
     
ort888
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May 18, 2005, 12:05 PM
 
Does it have balls?

My sig is 1 pixel too big.
     
Cody Dawg
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May 18, 2005, 12:15 PM
 
You can actually feel the width of the pelvis. If the pelvis bones are almost touching, say, within a finger of each other then it's a male.

If they are wider then it's a female.

It's the same way with parrots: Wider = female and Narrower = male

Be sure to wash your hands afterwards.

     
residentEvil
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May 18, 2005, 12:32 PM
 
i had to look it up first, cause if i just said it, you guys would be laff/not believe it, but this is what i was taught when checking...

male's junk will look like a colon : and female's junk will look like a semi-colon ;

http://www.thepetprofessor.com/secAr...x_a_kitten.asp

A female's vagina will be more of a vertical slit and will be fairly close to the anus. A male's penis will be a rounder looking hole and will be farther away from the anus. Thus a male's parts will look like a ':' or colon and be fairly far apart and a female's parts will look more like a ';' or a semicolon.
     
pooka
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May 18, 2005, 02:06 PM
 
Have to say I'm a little disappointed with this thread..

New, Improved and Legal in 50 States
     
OwlBoy
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May 18, 2005, 02:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by pooka
Have to say I'm a little disappointed with this thread..
     
capuchin
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May 18, 2005, 02:18 PM
 
I have no idea what the sex of my cat is. I respect it's privacy.
All opinions are entirely those of my employer. It's not my fault.
     
ASIMO
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May 18, 2005, 02:32 PM
 
Originally Posted by capuchin
I have no idea what the sex of my cat is. I respect it's privacy.

Please do not abuse the apostrophe.
I, ASIMO.
     
Cody Dawg
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May 18, 2005, 03:26 PM
 
I've got a graphic in my mind of a cat up on a counter with an owner holding the tail up, the cat looking back with big eyes and flattened ears, and a mini-maglight trained on his privates...all while the poster of this thread tries to see what "shape" is underneath the tail.



I think I need to change channels now.

Good bye.

     
turtle777
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May 18, 2005, 04:34 PM
 
Originally Posted by pooka
Have to say I'm a little disappointed with this thread..
Figures ! *looking_at_sig*

-t
     
Demonhood
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May 18, 2005, 05:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by pooka
Have to say I'm a little disappointed with this thread..
you can always start your own.

     
Cadaver
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May 18, 2005, 05:40 PM
 
Originally Posted by Apple Pro Underwear
PICS please!

you can tell if it's a girl byy rubbing i t's belly. Feel 6 nipples? It's gal!
Not true. Male cats have 6 nipples, too.

I have a Sphynx (Egyptian hairless) and he has 6 little man nipples...

...and a belly-button. Anyone ever see a cat's belly button?? Kind of funny. Not a little hole/dent like humans, but a little scarred-over patch of skin right where you'd expect one to be.
     
ghporter
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May 18, 2005, 05:52 PM
 
Originally Posted by residentEvil
i had to look it up first, cause if i just said it, you guys would be laff/not believe it, but this is what i was taught when checking...

male's junk will look like a colon : and female's junk will look like a semi-colon ;

http://www.thepetprofessor.com/secAr...x_a_kitten.asp

A female's vagina will be more of a vertical slit and will be fairly close to the anus. A male's penis will be a rounder looking hole and will be farther away from the anus. Thus a male's parts will look like a ':' or colon and be fairly far apart and a female's parts will look more like a ';' or a semicolon.
Unfortunately, this advice only applies to kittens-once they get toward maturity, the structures change significantly enough to make the punctuation analogy useless.

I just wrote and deleted a long diatribe on how there are four different classes to look for (intact male and female, "altered" male and female), and how to go about telling the difference, but it all boiled down to "ask your vet." It's MUCH safet than prying into a cat's private areas, and you should have the cat checked out anyway because if it's been abandoned, it could be malnourished (you're feeding it, but the right stuff?), have contracted a disease, and so on.

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
MallyMal
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May 18, 2005, 06:05 PM
 
<country accent>
U don't see dem dar ket bawls, bwoy?
</country accent>
     
Ω  (op)
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May 18, 2005, 06:05 PM
 
Thanks all for the tips.

Looks like no "investigation" from my end will occur. I would have thought pooka would have had the inside knowledge, but I guess he isn't picky.

As I said the cat is "possibly" a stray as it spends lots of time around our house, but it could just be looking for more food. I would not say it is malnourished, small, yes.

I guess I will have to put a collar on it asking the owner to contact me before I go crazy stupid and possibly de-sex someones cat!

     
zigzag
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May 18, 2005, 07:37 PM
 
Tune your TV to a Three Stooges film festival. If it's a male, it will watch closely and act happy. If it's a female, it will run under your porch, never to be seen again.
     
ThinkInsane
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May 18, 2005, 08:07 PM
 
Originally Posted by Ω
Thanks all for the tips.

Looks like no "investigation" from my end will occur. I would have thought pooka would have had the inside knowledge, but I guess he isn't picky.

As I said the cat is "possibly" a stray as it spends lots of time around our house, but it could just be looking for more food. I would not say it is malnourished, small, yes.

I guess I will have to put a collar on it asking the owner to contact me before I go crazy stupid and possibly de-sex someones cat!

The owners would probably appreciate it. I used to date this girl in high school whose cat ran away once. It came back a couple of days later, but she noticed he had some blood near his little kitty naughty bits, so she made me drive him to the vet. The vet checked him out and said, "He's fine, he's just been neutered". I looked at her and said, "Well, I bet he won't ever run away again".

But the moral is, it saved her from having to pay for it, and it taught the cat a valuable lesson about what happens when you run away from home: Castration!
Nemo me impune lacesset
     
Cody Dawg
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May 18, 2005, 08:12 PM
 
Cadaver said
Not true. Male cats have 6 nipples, too.
"I've got nipples, too, Greg. Can you milk me?"

(Meet the Parents)
     
ManOfSteal
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May 18, 2005, 08:13 PM
 
Originally Posted by Cody Dawg
"I've got nipples, too, Greg. Can you milk me?"

(Meet the Parents)
     
macaddict0001
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May 18, 2005, 08:21 PM
 
the vagina is closer to the anus, and a male cat will have balls even when "fixed". although the balls will be smaller and depending on the method of sterilization may have fallen off.
     
Cody Dawg
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May 18, 2005, 08:26 PM
 
     
Ratm
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May 18, 2005, 09:20 PM
 
Originally Posted by Ω
Now that I have everybody's attention, how do you tell the sex OF A cat?

Grease up your finger and see if it has a stink and a pink. If it does then it's a female... if it only has a stink then it's a male!

     
Ratm
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May 18, 2005, 09:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by Cadaver
Not true. Male cats have 6 nipples, too.
As do male dogs.
     
   
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