 |
 |
"How to Annoy Your Co-Workers"
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2002
Location: New York City
Status:
Offline
|
|
1) Page yourself over the intercom._ Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you.
3) Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names._ "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachie."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing._ For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes._ Tell people you haven't lost them as often since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle._ When you emerge to get coffee, a printout, or whatever, slap yourself at random the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer._ Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself, engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk._ Label it "IN".
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza, donuts, or cake in the lunchroom._ When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Switzerland
Status:
Offline
|
|
Annoy your co-workers?! It sounds like the best way to lose your job!
Actually, thinking about it, it sounds like a double quick way to get put in a straight jacket, and spend the rest of your days making wicker chairs in a padded cell...
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Occasionally Useful
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Liverpool, UK
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
"Have sharp knives. Be creative. Cook to music" ~ maxelson
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The northernmost capital of the world
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
"If Bush says we hate freedom, let him tell us why we didn't attack Sweden, for example. OBL 29th oct
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Occasionally Useful
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Liverpool, UK
Status:
Offline
|
|
#7 is still making me laugh now  
|
|
"Have sharp knives. Be creative. Cook to music" ~ maxelson
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Herzliya
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by zachs:
15) Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
I've done something similar before. Made decaf for a couple weeks then switched back to regular... talk about an office full of freaks! They were becoming deranged and neurotic and had no idea why.
|
|
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moderator Emeritus  Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Night's Plutonian shore...
Status:
Offline
|
|
That's pretty good, but I think one of my favorite email forwards is this (You'll notice some duplicates):
How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. Just to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going
to have to let one of you go."
I've always wanted to try that zoo one...
|
|
Nemo me impune lacesset
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 
|
|
|
Forum Rules
|
|
|
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top