[besson3c]

Does your wife fart? Loudly? Quietly and demurely? In public?

[RAILhead]

She's been farting all evening, thanks to a local Mexican restaurant.

[Jawbone54]

I have never heard my wife fart. She claims she might only get one or two in per month, but I'm not 100% sure she's not placing herself on a golden pedestal.

[iMOTOR]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

She's been farting all evening, thanks to a local Mexican restaurant.

I hope she didn't go to this restaurant.

[Cadaver]

She does - as do we all, but she does try to be discrete about it.

[besson3c]

This isn't somebody's wife, but it's still pretty damn funny:

YouTube - farting on the news

[ghporter]

Ladies do not "fart." They may "have the vapors" or something like that, but they do not fart. That's the story I'm using and it works fine for now.

Seriously, being discrete is the key; you know when you're in a mature relationship when she doesn't just rush out of the room without telling you. My wife is the most delicate creature in the world when she wants to be, and I treasure her for that, but she's human too.

[Dork.]

Of course women fart, they just don't take pride in the act like men do.

Does your wife know you ask the Internet about her gaseous emissions? Be careful, besosn3c, you might find find yourself farting on the couch tonight....

[Shaddim]

Yeah, they do. We'll be riding along in the car and the passenger window will open about 6 inches and stay that way for 15-20 seconds.

"What was that about?"

"Just wanted some air."

"..."

[SpaceMonkey]

Besson, the next time you ask for an accordion for Christmas, you should tell your wife that it is to drown out the noise of her farts.

[SirCastor]

My wife says "Girls don't fart, they fluff"

[osiris]

My wife to-be does not fart, at least nothing I can recognize as a fart.
Though I do recall a girlfriend who once fell asleep on me, and I can assure you that I felt the fiery hot breath of her bowels upon my thigh.

And then there is the other kind of fart that women emit, but that's not really a product of the digestive system.

[Stogieman]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Does your wife know you ask the Internet about her gaseous emissions? Be careful, besosn3c, you might find find yourself farting on the couch tonight....

... or waking up in a "Dutch Oven."

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by Stogieman 

... or waking up in a "Dutch Oven."

She would file divorce papers within a day.

I'm not kidding.

[vexborg]

My wife farts... Very loudly, but not in public...

I mean, if a married couple can't fart openly at home, then when can they?

[Jawbone54]

Originally Posted by vexborg 

My wife farts... Very loudly, but not in public...

Specifically define "very loudly."

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Of course women fart, they just don't take pride in the act like men do.

Does your wife know you ask the Internet about her gaseous emissions? Be careful, besosn3c, you might find find yourself farting on the couch tonight....

What makes you think that my wife farts? What makes you think that I only have one wife? Nobody knows anything, and besides, my name isn't "besosn3c".

[Jawbone54]

We've gone from anal to anal-retentive.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey 

Besson, the next time you ask for an accordion for Christmas, you should tell your wife that it is to drown out the noise of her farts.

My wife is far more of a belching wife than a farting wife.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

We've gone from anal to anal-retentive.

Zip it Jawbutt! You should talk, your signature is a couple of pixels too tall!!

[Jawbone54]

After you swore you wouldn't tell the mods...

[@pplejaxkz]

This thread is too funny. For the longest time I didn't like it when my girlfriends would fart, and they barely have. For some reason I find it repulsive when women do such a thing. Ofcourse it's a bodily function and I just need to get over myself lol. But I don't think it's lady like when they do it like men, and in public.

When I get married, I'm sure I'll be fine with my wife's natural gases...hopefully.

[Chongo]

Some times she puts our dogs to shame, mostly the ninja variety.

[Sage]

I think it’s funny that the poll allows you to choose both options.

[keekeeree]

A thread on women and farting wouldn't be complete without a trip in the internet time machine to watch this and this video.

[wallinbl]

It's important to read about the world's foremost expert on farting:
What a Gas | Nutrition | DISCOVER Magazine

[Dork.]

At the risk of getting this fine thread exiled to the nuthouse/Pol Lounge, I submit all humans must fart, even Jesus farted!

[besson3c]

Yeah, I'm sure Jesus farted, pooped, and was horny too... Everybody is and does this stuff, even your parents!

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

At the risk of getting this fine thread exiled to the nuthouse/Pol Lounge, I submit all humans must fart, even Jesus farted!

Probably a lot better than we do, but yes, absolutely.

[vexborg]

Originally Posted by Jawbone54 

Specifically define "very loudly."

Loud, like a trumpet sounding - or like curtains swaying in the wind

[Jawbone54]

I generally don't laugh at farts. I don't get offended by them; I just find it natural.

Trumpet farts, however...are frickin' hilarious.

[JohnM15141]

My wife does not fart ever, but she sure kicks the dog a lot...

[Apple Pro Underwear]

i dated a chick that freaking warned me and then blasted it... weird but it's cool because you can fart as well.

[Jawbone54]

I haven't peed the bed...ever (that I could remember).

My first week married, I peed all over the sheets. I had a dream that I was taking a leak in a bush behind the house. Woke up mid-stream.

The wife thought it was hilarious. But if I fart...