 |
 |
So my girlfriend said she thinks I'm a pedophile...
|
|
|
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: permanent resident of the Land of the Easily Aroused
Status:
Offline
|
|
I told her "That's a pretty big word for a 12-year old."
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Pit Slab #35
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
I tried to sig-spam the forums.
ADVANTAGE Motorsports Marketing, Inc. • speedXdesign, Inc.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Close to the sea and a place with a big, big castle...
Status:
Offline
|
|
Q: What's the best thing about making love to a twelve year old?
A: Imagining that she is actually eight...
(Old joke, for which I accept no liability, credibility, etc...)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: permanent resident of the Land of the Easily Aroused
Status:
Offline
|
|
Anyone remember the last offensive jokes thread?
Was gold, until the racist jokes broke out at page 3, then it got locked.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Off the Tobakoff
Status:
Offline
|
|
I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Senior User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: out of service area
Status:
Offline
|
|
Q: what's the best thing about making love to a 12 year old?
A: knowing that you will be receiving 3 square meals a day while learning the skill of stamping licence plates for at least 5 years.
Also, earning the 'love and affection' of many other inmates.
|
|
It looks just like a telefunken' U-47 - Zappa
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by rampant:
Anyone remember the last offensive jokes thread?
Was gold, until the racist jokes broke out at page 3, then it got locked.
I would think racist jokes would by definition be offensive. Why the lock?
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Macfreak7
Status:
Offline
|
|
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head.
Why did the dead baby climb the tree?
It was stapled to a monkey.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago
Status:
Offline
|
|
Did you hear about this new Jewish sect, the Christians? They are so poor.
How poor are they?
They are so poor that they only have one god!
But here in Rome we have a lot of gods. In fact, the only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation.
But I hear that's coming quickly.
|
|
inscrutable impenetrable impregnable inconceivable
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Off the Tobakoff
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Macfreak7:
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head.
Why did the dead baby climb the tree?
It was stapled to a monkey.
How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bucket?
Blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Minnesota - Twins Territory
Status:
Offline
|
|
"if there is grass on the field...play ball"
|
"I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniel's."
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Senior User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: out of service area
Status:
Offline
|
|
Which are easier to unload from the back of a truck - lightbulbs or dead babies?
Dead babies, because you can use a pitchfork
|
|
It looks just like a telefunken' U-47 - Zappa
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Off the Tobakoff
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by nredman:
"if there is grass on the field...play ball"
"if there's no grass, play in the dirt"
i've heard "old enough to pee, old enough for me"
but i think they mean "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed"
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: San Jose
Status:
Offline
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In your backyard!!!
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Macfreak7:
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head.
Why did the dead baby climb the tree?
It was stapled to a monkey.
originally posted by stratlater:
How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bucket?
Blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What do you do when you see a dead baby?
You eat it!
or feed it too the pigeons
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Macfreak7
Status:
Offline
|
|
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago
Status:
Offline
|
|
What are these two badgers doing?
|
|
inscrutable impenetrable impregnable inconceivable
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by BasketofPuppies:
What are these two badgers doing?
If you think that's funny...
You would love this store:
http://www.visualstore.com/index.php/channel/31/id/221
It's full of just that. Got my uncle a salt & pepper penis shaker. Can't wait to see that on the dinner table and my grandparents just using it unknowingly... I might die laughing.
And it's 1-2 blocks from Jims Steaks... get a cheesesteak.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Senior User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Washington, DC
Status:
Offline
|
|
What's better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What'd the blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
My two favorites 
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Maine
Status:
Offline
|
|
So Uncle Pedophile is walking through the forest with Little Susie. It's nighttime and the forest is dark and pretty scary.
"Uncle Pedophile," said Little Susie, "I'm really scared. This forest is dark and cold. There are all kinds of scary animals around and I can't see the path and I'm just really, really scared!"
"You think you're scared?" asks Uncle Pedophile. "I've got to walk out of here alone!"
And my other favorite:
Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a freezer?
A: You can't hide a dead baby in a Jew.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Connecticut
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by engaged:
Q: What's the best thing about making love to a twelve year old?
A: Imagining that she is actually eight...
(Old joke, for which I accept no liability, credibility, etc...)
NO!
thats a terrible variation!
its..
Q: whats the best thing about making love to a 12 year old in the shower?
A: when you slick her hair back she looks 8
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: USA at the moment
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by nredman:
"if there is grass on the field...play ball"
I think the phrase you are looking for is: If there's grass on the wicket, let's play cricket.
Oh, and also -
Little Susie and her parents are out for a walk on the cliffs one summer day, when suddenly, her parents trip and fall off the cliff to their death. Little Susie is horrified, and understandably bursts into tears. Seeing her crying, a man comes up to her and says 'what's the matter little girl?'. Susie replies through the tears, 'my parents have just fallen off the cliff and died.'
The paedophile unzips his pants and says: 'It's just not your day, is it?'
He he...
(
Last edited by willed; Sep 18, 2003 at 05:11 AM.
)
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: 888500128, C3, 2nd soft.
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by BasketofPuppies:
What are these two badgers doing?
One's blind, and the other one's helping him across the street.
-s*
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Unknown
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by BasketofPuppies:
Did you hear about this new Jewish sect, the Christians? They are so poor.
How poor are they?
They are so poor that they only have one god!
But here in Rome we have a lot of gods. In fact, the only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation.
But I hear that's coming quickly.
When you die at the Palace, you really die at the Palace.
(God, I love Mel Brooks!)
-------
What does a girl from (insert backwards state here) say when having sex?
"Not so hard, dad! You're crushing my smokes!"
-------
What did the average (insert rival school name) Football player get on the SAT?
Drool.
|
If Heaven has a dress code, I'm walkin to Hell in my Tony Lamas.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
Offline
|
|
"How do you stop premature ejaculation?
Don't give the kid a reach around."
|
|
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
Offline
|
|
"Father Flannery stops Bishop O'Conner in the vestibule before mass and says, 'Two priests and an 8 year-old boy go into a bar...'
The Bishop cuts in, 'this isn't a time for tasteless jokes'.
'It's not a joke, I'm confessing about last night'."
|
|
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Between here and nowhere!
Status:
Offline
|
|
Q. Whats the difference between a Pedophile and a greyhound dog.
A. A greyhound waits till the Hair is out of the box.
|
|
if you can't be part of the solution don't be part of the problem!!!!
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Aug 2000
Status:
Offline
|
|
What's the definition of a virgin in Tennessee?
An ugly 13 year old.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by zigzag:
What's the definition of a virgin in Tennessee?
An ugly 13 year old.
Actually, the punchline is...
"A 12 year-old girl who can outrun her brothers, outthink her father, and hasn't worked with livestock."
Another...
"Paw, I'm gettin' murried! She's cute, smart, got most of her teeth, and she's a virgin!"
The father then looks at his son and shakes his head. "That won't do son. If'n she ain't good enuff fer own kin, she ain't good enuff fer you!"
|
|
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
Q: What's the worst part of having sex with an eight year old?
A: Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
|
|
I'm not wearing any pants.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: boulder, co
Status:
Offline
|
|
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when you bake it in an oven.
What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
|
|
Ad Astra Per Aspera - Semper Exploro
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: California
Status:
Offline
|
|
What's the first thing a 14-year old girl from West Virginia says after sex?
Git off me daddy, yer crushing my cigarettes!
--------------------
What's the worst thing about screwing a vegetable?
Putting them back into the wheelchair!
----------------------
What's the difference between a Flight Attendant and a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you drop your load in it!
-------------------------
What's the difference between a bowling ball and a Flight Attendant?
You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
----------------------
can't think of anymore right now.....
|
|
MacBook Pro
Mac Mini
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Yokohama, Japan
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by andrewbw:
Q: What's the worst part of having sex with an eight year old?
A: Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Chicago
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by AlbertWu:
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when you bake it in an oven.
What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
Did we cross that line already???
Cause I have some great Asian jokes
|
Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: In your backyard!!!
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Captain Obvious:
Did we cross that line already???
Cause I have some great Asian jokes
Yes, please give me the nippy eye jokes, Giv'me Giv'me Giv'me..... 
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Senior User
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Washington, DC
Status:
Offline
|
|
How did the nazis take over poland?
They walked in backwards and said they were leaving.
How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree?
Wave to him.
How do you sink a polish submarine?
Knock on the door
My favorite Polish jokes
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
Status:
Offline
|
|
what does 80 year old pussy taste like?
depends
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
Status:
Offline
|
|
and its...
what is the best thing about screwing an 12 year old girl?
flipping her over and thinking she is an 8 year old boy.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Unknown
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by residentEvil:
what does 80 year old pussy taste like?
depends
eeewwwwww!
LOL!
|
If Heaven has a dress code, I'm walkin to Hell in my Tony Lamas.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: OK
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by nredman:
"if there is grass on the field...play ball"
HaHahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Quetzlzacatenango
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by andrewbw:
Q: What's the worst part of having sex with an eight year old?
A: Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
This one is priceless. I first heard it about two years ago and one night out with the boys we were all telling tasteless jokes, and I told this one.
They haven't looked at me the same since.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: On My Mac
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by jckalen:
Q: what's the best thing about making love to a 12 year old?
A: knowing that you will be receiving 3 square meals a day while learning the skill of stamping licence plates for at least 5 years.
Also, earning the 'love and affection' of many other inmates.
ROFLMAOPIMP! 
|
|
AutoJC
Pure Democracy Is Collectivist Mob Rule-
Capitalism.org
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: On My Mac
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Macfreak7:
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
Wrong.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A fetus who shouts. "More Pork Sausages, Mom. Please?
|
|
AutoJC
Pure Democracy Is Collectivist Mob Rule-
Capitalism.org
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2001
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by Captain Obvious:
Did we cross that line already???
Cause I have some great Asian jokes
Line crossed.
Go for it.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Off the Tobakoff
Status:
Offline
|
|
Originally posted by AutoJC:
Wrong.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A fetus who shouts. "More Pork Sausages, Mom. Please?
I like the other version better.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Administrator  Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Land of the Easily Amused
Status:
Offline
|
|
Why did the thread cross the line?
It's **** was stuck in the chicken.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 
|
|
|
Forum Rules
|
|
|
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top