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You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > Girlfriend of 4 years suddenly wants a break.

Girlfriend of 4 years suddenly wants a break. (Page 3)
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sek929  (op)
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Apr 25, 2010, 03:37 PM
 
Originally Posted by PB2K View Post
she's 4?
     
downinflames68
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Apr 25, 2010, 06:10 PM
 
All of you who think she must have cheated are fairly naive. You believe such things, because you are male, and that is how you would act, since we are all about sex. My wife wanted a 'break', which a few weeks later turned into 'divorce', and there was no other guy. She just didn't feel "in love". She watched sex in the city, and frankly that vomit is part of the reason she probably left. This show makes single women seem like they have the best, most exciting life ever, and that things are so much fun!!! Seeing as how we got married early, I can understand why she felt like maybe she was 'missing out'. In reality though, there never was another guy. She dated some dude a month or two after we seperated, and ended it a week later. As far as I know she's still single, because she's ****ed up. She's cute, but she's also nuts, doing a bunch of homeopathic remidies and worshipping the ****ing moon. Mine basically had a mid-life crisis at the age of 27, and threw everything away.

Do I still care for her? You bet. I miss her an incredible amount, and not a day goes by that I don't think about her, and wonder what the hell happened. But at the same time.... this IS life. People interact, they fall in love, and sometimes, they move on. Then it repeats. This happens with all relationships... friends... family members, lovers, business partners, careers, etc. Nothing is static, and everything is in flux. I know you're hurting, and yeah, it does suck, but... it's kind of part of the whole thing. I guess what really struck me, 8 months after the divorce, was listening to the verve pipe's bittersweet symphony.

"'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah

No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no,no(fading away)

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change it

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
Trying to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah

You know I can't change, I can't change
I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mind
I am here in my mind
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mind
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mind
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
That you've ever been down
That you've ever been down"

I mean... life is all of this. It isn't just good times. It isn't just fun. Some times things suck, and in a way, even the shitty parts of life are beautiful. Be upset. Be pissed off. Be depressed. But remember that even when you are feeling your worst, and things are totally shit, realize that you actually STILL CARE, and that things matter. The fact that things matter is what makes us human, and what makes life worth it. If you ever feel like "nothing matters", well.. shit. End it, I guess. But I've never felt that way.
     
downinflames68
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Apr 25, 2010, 06:12 PM
 
Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
Well then there's the problem. She realized if she stays this course her life will be dull and unadventurous. She'll have squandered her youth on this relationship and she's starting to realize how many things she's sacrificed to stay with you.

If you stay together she'll end up resenting you because of all that she will have missed out on and in 5 years she'll get into some form of mysticism or yoga and then walk out with half your stuff.
QFT. See my relationship. Not that I'm NOT going places, but while I was in school I definitely put school>wife. That isn't a good equation... it's good for being successful, but not for women.
     
Doofy
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Apr 25, 2010, 06:42 PM
 
Originally Posted by downinflames68 View Post
All of you who think she must have cheated are fairly naive. You believe such things, because you are male, and that is how you would act, since we are all about sex. My wife wanted a 'break', which a few weeks later turned into 'divorce', and there was no other guy.
Still in denial eh Rob?
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
downinflames68
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Apr 25, 2010, 07:01 PM
 
No denial necessary. No other dude. Verified from multiple people. If there was another guy, it was more like "the idea of another guy", planted from BS tv shows like Sex in the City. I equate it to 007 movies, for dudes. Yeah, life would be cool if it was like that, but it isn't.
     
Laminar
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Apr 25, 2010, 08:12 PM
 
Originally Posted by downinflames68 View Post
No denial necessary. No other dude. Verified from multiple people. If there was another guy, it was more like "the idea of another guy", planted from BS tv shows like Sex in the City. I equate it to 007 movies, for dudes. Yeah, life would be cool if it was like that, but it isn't.
For you, maybe. But Doofy lives that out every day.
     
voodoo
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Apr 25, 2010, 08:17 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
For you, maybe. But Doofy lives that out every day.
I always have my martini shaken, not stirred, but then my martini is made with gin and should be shaken.

Never did take to vodka martini, which of course is usually stirred.
I could take Sean Connery in a fight... I could definitely take him.
     
Doofy
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Apr 25, 2010, 09:02 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
For you, maybe. But Doofy lives that out every day.
Don't be silly. I have Sundays off.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Laminar
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Apr 25, 2010, 10:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Don't be silly. I have Sundays off.
Keeping it holy?
     
Doofy
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Apr 25, 2010, 10:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Keeping it holy?
Of course. Plus, it helps with my lumbago.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Laminar
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Apr 25, 2010, 10:17 PM
 
Too many pelvic thrusts?
     
imitchellg5
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Apr 25, 2010, 10:19 PM
 
He uses Sundays to fix his Jeep.
     
Doofy
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Apr 25, 2010, 10:19 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Too many pelvic thrusts?
That's the first time I've seen that combination of words. How can one have "too many" pelvic thrusts?
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Oisín
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Apr 26, 2010, 04:21 AM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
That's the first time I've seen that combination of words. How can one have "too many" pelvic thrusts?
By having lumbago.
     
voodoo
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Apr 26, 2010, 09:43 AM
 
Originally Posted by Oisín View Post
By having lumbago.
Lumbago in a Winnebago. It happens.
I could take Sean Connery in a fight... I could definitely take him.
     
residentEvil
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Apr 26, 2010, 09:50 AM
 
Originally Posted by voodoo View Post
Lumbago in a Winnebago. It happens.
with a dago?
     
mattyb
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Apr 26, 2010, 02:26 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Of course. Plus, it helps with my lumbago.
Sign of old age that Doof.

Being retired, having diplodocus immunity, and posting St. Trinians wannabe pictures won't roll back time mate.
     
Doofy
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Apr 26, 2010, 03:30 PM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Sign of old age that Doof.

Being retired, having diplodocus immunity, and posting St. Trinians wannabe pictures won't roll back time mate.
I still got it going on.
Except on Sundays.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
Oisín
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Apr 26, 2010, 03:52 PM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Sign of old age that Doof.

Being retired, having diplodocus immunity, and posting St. Trinians wannabe pictures won't roll back time mate.
What in the name of unspeakable Icelandic volcanos is diplodocus immunity? Doof’s plants (or dinner?) won’t be eaten when the diplodoci come back to rule the planet?
     
Kerrigan
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Apr 27, 2010, 05:01 AM
 
I'm glad to see everything is working out.

I doubt anyone wants to read another sob story, but I'll go ahead and throw my hat into the ring.

About a year ago, I hooked up with my best friend (we're both guys). He knew I was into men and wanted to "experiment" after a night of drinking. We've been best friends, inseparable, for six years. And he's very good looking I should add.

He freaked out the next day, and we went through a rough period of about a month, where we were constantly with each other but never talked about the incident.

Then, he said he wanted to start doing this more often. We were hooking up for a year. During this time I fell in love with him, but it began wearing on me in an awful way because I could never talk about it with him, or confess it to anyone. I just keep it to myself.

I've been on both sides of breakups before, but this is by far the most painful experience I've ever had. If I were to open up to him and get everything off my chest, I would lose my best friend of 6 years (my former teammate, roommate, drinking buddy, etc.). Instead, I just keep quiet in order to save the friendship...it's a terrible feeling. I wish I could just delete his number and start avoiding him, but I can't. I imagine this is somewhat akin to what a drawn out divorce might feel like.
     
Spheric Harlot
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Apr 27, 2010, 05:23 AM
 
Sounds like he's got stuff to work out that you can't really help with. I doubt that hanging out with you is helping any.

It's sad when people get hung up on issues that ought be seen as enrichening experiences rather than crises.
     
finboy
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May 1, 2010, 08:41 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kerrigan View Post
I'm glad to see everything is working out.

I doubt anyone wants to read another sob story, but I'll go ahead and throw my hat into the ring.
Hey, that one's pretty common I think. I've had the same kind of thing a couple of times, where she ended up going her way and I went mine but long after the heartbreak had set in and we stayed friends. The pain came from thinking that SEX = REAL and then realizing that SEX = SEX. When I hear people talk about this as something novel or new I have to laugh.

No fun, man. All those shared memories. I don't envy you.
     
 
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