[brapper]

Originally Posted by Demonhood

May 2005 roundup:


-penile amputation gallery

[f1000]

How's this for bizarre:

MADE

[OwlBoy]

recycleing ideas

Whats that mean? I try not to steal...

-Owl

[Demonhood]

it means you misspelled recycling

[OwlBoy]

Demonhood: look at this one.

I posted in the thread, so my Sig was accessed, I noticed it was a google cache, so I was wondering what it was.

http://64.233.187.104/search?q=cache...to+guide&hl=en



I also find it cool that if you search google for "iPod receipt" it finds mine.

-Owl

[Demonhood]

ha! that's good (scary) stuff Owl. my sig is hosted on .mac, so i'm not sure if i've ever gotten any forum related query results. hmm.... maybe i should see what kind of results this forum gets in general.

[OwlBoy]

What the hell.

'bad ****ing mom boy galleries'

on http://zoeken.wanadoo.nl/

My blog is number 3 if you search in 'NL' (Netherlands). and 5 in 'US'

-Owl

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by OwlBoy

http://64.233.187.104/search?q=cache...to+guide&hl=en

-t

[OwlBoy]

http://64.233.187.104/search?q=cache...to+guide&hl=en

aww the whole thing don't work no more, but you still get the idea

-Owl

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by OwlBoy

aww the whole thing don't work no more, but you still get the idea

-Owl

" "sex with a cat" how-to guide " is pretty self-explanatory...

-t

[B Gallagher]

Here's some of mine, from a site about a NZ band...

• essay on bullying (fair, this was on my blog)
• waiting for exam results (ditto)
• partial immersion (wtf? partial immersion into what? )
• exams suck (again, my blog)
• woohoo woohoohoo (someone obviously had a good day)
• demos of strings (what is that supposed to mean?)
• foo fighters coming to new zealand (uh... wrong band)
• no strings sex (hmm... )
• xp installation music enigma (why search for both of these things together?)
• how to pull at a disco (nice )
• top ten hits (hmm.. a bit too general)
• kirk peacock (scary if it wasn't for the fact that this is my friend whose name is only on my site on my thank-yous page )
• jen lin blog (again, another friend who's mentioned on my site)

these aren't as good as most of Deamonhood's ones.. but this is just from one month. I've got a few years to look back through.

[Demonhood]

Originally Posted by B Gallagher

Here's some of mine, from a site about a NZ band...
no strings sex (hmm... )

so you resolved their IP address, tracked down their ISP and sent this person an email right?

[Demonhood]

June 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-mother lesbian
-when is summer solstice?
-scuba steve costume
-boatride to catalina island
-women wanting the right to vote
-everyone needs a bosom for a pillow
-erotic halloween photo gallery (relevant in the sense that i have pix of zombies making out)


Disappointed people:
-kick nuts, kick in the nuts (and other variants). {80+ people this month. please, make it stop.}
-naked swimming
-furries
-going commando -playstation (i'm not sure how these go together exactly)
-buttocks guys
-heimlich maneuver
-bitchslap
-finger cavity search
-ant hill birthday cakes (everyone knows ants prefer ice cream cake)
-aah! (ahhhh!)
-i love you aba
-elderly and penis an photo
-postal 2 zombie addons
-quotes from roman era
-little bunny foo foo voice command
-my nipples (sorry, i haven't seen them)

[OwlBoy]

Oh my, I just had this referrer show up in my logs:

http //www camgirlslive.com/layout0/livecams2.jsp?Ref=camfun2

Hmm, either its a new type of spam, or, someone had their browser report it as a referer cuz they went to my blog after a bit of wax0ring.

hmmm

-Owl

[Demonhood]

i've been seeing this type of stuff too. i think it is a new type of spam. highly ineffective, if you ask me.

[OwlBoy]

hahahahhaha

Google Search: how to explain I am a loser

I am the top hit as of July 25th, 2005

http://owlboy.com/misc_gallery/file/...am_a_loser.png

-Owl

[Demonhood]

July 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-lesbian boxing
-gallery add ons
-female photographers
-dizzy backgrounds
-everyone needs a bosom for a pillow
-eating brains
-dickenheimer


Disappointed people:
-kick nuts, kick in the nuts (and other variants). {60+ people this month.}
-naked swimming (again)
-drop the soap
-zipper down
-donkey punch
-oops ass
-nice buttocks (aww shucks, you noticed!)
-roman empire
-animals screwing
-ohhhh yeah
-dirty smurf (wow, that does sound dirty)
-cocoon movie pictures
-bride with a gun
-famous penis (only totally anonymous ones, sorry)
-cannibal party
-i hate dave matthews
-nice coconuts
-little hussy

[ghporter]

Spooning is acceptible behavior-though in relatively private locations. Sporking is lewd and debauched, and must not be tolerated in polite society!

The "monkey+sex..." string is quite disturbing. It's WAY past the infamous (and quite real-at least at one time) newsgroup "alt.sex.hamster.ducttape." Or "alt.sex.aluminum.baseball.bat," for that matter!

Whale hand puppets. What a mental picture! "And of course whales don't have cabbage patches to find baby whales in, Bobby, so here's where their babies come from..."

[Demonhood]

August 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-san diego pride
-gallery addons
-pie in the face
-ipod graphs
-imac fishtank
-elzinat (ha. seems someone else was looking for him too)
-frazzled
-gay steelworkers
-north american buttfish (damn, and i thought i made this up)


Disappointed people:
-donkey punch (oh boy)
-nude hotties
-punished girl
-indian punk
-little hussy
-clothes coming off
-screwing animals
-hit in face with ball
-women with two nipples (isn't that the right number?)
-sensitive nipples
-cavity search
-tricked out amish buggy picture
-sexy wheel of fortune
-enema experiment
-stuck in a garbage disposal

[davesimondotcom]

I think the referrer thing is a new type of spam. I notice when I'm using Shaun Inman's wonderful ShortStat combined with Keegan Jones' ShortStat widget, I check my referrers more often. Lately I've had these two show up every day:

hotmoms.ca
houses4rent.ca

Odd.

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by Demonhood

August 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-san diego pride
-gallery addons
-pie in the face
-ipod graphs
-imac fishtank
-elzinat (ha. seems someone else was looking for him too)
-frazzled
-gay steelworkers
-north american buttfish (damn, and i thought i made this up)


Disappointed people:
-donkey punch (oh boy)
-nude hotties
-punished girl
-indian punk
-little hussy
-clothes coming off
-screwing animals
-hit in face with ball
-women with two nipples (isn't that the right number?)
-sensitive nipples
-cavity search
-tricked out amish buggy picture
-sexy wheel of fortune
-enema experiment
-stuck in a garbage disposal

So what's up with this?

-tricked out amish buggy picture

[Demonhood]

Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy

So what's up with this?

-tricked out amish buggy picture

in one gallery i have a photo of a tricked out golf cart.
on the same page i make fun of someone's beard as being "amish."
the query picked them both up.

but now i kinda wish i had a picture of an amish buggy with 28" rims, a spoiler and a V-tec badge.

[Demonhood]

September 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-someone concentrating
-things that grow (slightly vague?)
-richie tenenbaum halloween picture
-imac fishtank
-booze carousel
-woman on boat with beer
-female belly button


Disappointed people:
-donkey punch (the #1 search this month. by far)
-roman empire (these people got a nice surprise)
-skin party
-heimlich maneuver
-tentacles anime
-your fly is open
-hurts so good
-red condoms (you know, for valentine's day)
-hugging ladies (everyone is up for hugging the ladies)
-scary little people photos
-standard issue pistol
-girl with best ass
-i like boobies (no doubt)

[PurpleGiant]

Originally Posted by Demonhood

September 2005 roundup:

Disappointed people:

-girl with best ass

I've seen some decent ones on there. Maybe they weren't disappointed?

Most popular queries I had last month (in order)

nipple shot
sexy nipples
i like the nipple
cowboys cheerleaders
big nipple
pizza delivery man
attention whore
melbourne storm cheerleaders


Yahoo seems to have taken a liking to my site. Seems I'm the authority on many generic terms as far as it's concerned. Especially nipples.

[CharlesS]

Mine are mostly relevant, due to my site being pretty simple. However, I did get this, which was kind of funny:

how do you boot someone

I also seem to get a lot of search queries from disappointed people about downloading hacked versions of OS X, for some reason.

[OwlBoy]

c*** in ***hole

hmmm

-Owl

[JoshuaZ]

Japan + Porn + Banana.

So odd. I don`t want to know

[Demonhood]

November 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-lesbian boxing
-solstice parade
-female belly button
-deuce coup photo
-penis gun
-zombie porn
-picture woman holding cash
-christy brinkley and chuck norris


Disappointed people:
-donkey punch (the #1 search this month. by far. again.)
-breasts torture (um..)
-erotic asphyxiation pictures
-steve jobs wife
-hot little mermaid (for those who really need a fin to get off)
-fantasia on mozart s don giovanni 1841
-no idea (that makes both of us)
-urinating on a fire
-rectal thermometers
-pornographic sesame street
-nostril flies
-**** for the grade
-****ing a watermelon (not seedless, i'm guessing)

[MindFad]

"Poorness" was my top hit for November. Awesome.

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by Demonhood

November 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-lesbian boxing
-solstice parade
-female belly button
-deuce coup photo
-penis gun
-zombie porn
-picture woman holding cash
-christy brinkley and chuck norris

Uhh DH, if these are your relevant searches is there . . . uh . . . something
you need to tell us about the penis gun and the zombie porn?

[Demonhood]

the penis gun was part of a bachelorette party that we ran across at a friend's birthday party.
and the zombie porn could more accurately be described as zombie's making it to second base than porn actually.

[ghporter]

What is second base for a zombie? Getting to the dura mater?

[Tesseract]

"led christmas lights hurt my eyes" - I am the top result. And relevant, too.

[Tesseract]

Originally Posted by Demonhood

i've been seeing this type of stuff too. i think it is a new type of spam. highly ineffective, if you ask me.

Some sites (blogs mostly) display a list of referrers to the public. Apparently spammers want to get into these lists.

[Demonhood]

December 2005 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-uvula photo (that's right)
-alcoholic beverages
-she was plastered
-dizzy backgrounds
-winding roads
-iocaine powder quote
-penis bride
-tricorder
-gallery of halloween parties
-photos of catalina island at night


Disappointed people:
-swimming naked
-really nice ones (why thank you)
-nuclear strike targets (disneyland paris?)
-salvador dali
-unitarian universalist
-pictures of procrastination (an impressive feat in itself)
-trust jesus
-cavity search
-erotic of girls with sprained ankles with pictures (people get off on the most unusual things)
-look a condom (!)
-giraffe urinating (this searcher and the ankle guy should get together for a wild weekend)
-crotch (really? this is the best search query you could come up with?)
-sticking head in the oven (what, you need an instructional video?)
-santa in underwear send ecard
-pictures of lavatory mice (as opposed to kitchen mice?)
-largest transexual island
-what is frankincense and mir
-peed on the couch

[rickey939]

What is the smallest transexual island?

[ghporter]

DH, I gotta ask why you had a uvula photo on your site.

[Demonhood]

i think the better question is: why not?!
actually, it's just a picture someone took of themselves with their mouth far too wide open. this was a popular search, so a few people actually left comments on the picture as if my caption "Avery hoped the camera could capture a picture of her soul. When this failed, she swallowed the camera. You don't wanna know how we got it back." was completely serious.

[Demonhood]

here's my exceptionally late month of january. been a busy month.

also, here's a bit of other statistics:
Windows Users - 82%
Mac Users - 14.3%

IE - 67.6%
Firefox - 16%
Safari - 10.3%
---

January 2006 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-winding path
-demonhood (yay!)
-dizzy backgrounds
-elzinat (!)
-rusty phallus
-everyone needs a bosom for a pillow
-over analyze button
-gay superman guy at parade
-would you like a drink? (yes please)


Disappointed people:
-swallowed
-donkey punch
-hotties nude
-superglued lips
-ryan seacrest
-spitoon
-penile amputation
-naked hockey players photo (sorry, we're clothed)
-pictures on how to do full body massages
-skanks of newton junior high (i have no idea)


oh, and i've uploaded pictures from the latest macworld (finally). just click the appropriate link in my sig.

[Tesseract]

From a site I admin (mostly not relevant):

free memory stick
carrying a gun while committing a crime
foot sex
free fish tank stuff
class president slogans
stem cell jokes
dwarf hamsters
dougs mom
bumps on foreskin
railroad crossing for sell
buy a wife
fool saddam
1968 invasion of czechslovakia
contemporary nutrition issues and insights sixth edition. by gordon wardlaw
america is not the land of the free
classified ads in 1937
you can see my bra
tickle punishment
what is an injury
list of religions against gay marriages
hawian theme party decorations
how much bandwidth uses counter-strike
cornhole custom
adderall dry mouth
free secret shopper
western student porn
percent of americans who claim to be monogamist
how to make a wet bar
used guitar hero for sale
weels and tires
health affects of monogamist relationships
medella pump in style breast pump
anti-masturbation group
sociological view about marriage
average age teen virginity stats
message in a locket
half year of guitar
free exit signs
periodic table of sex picture
is your 5 year old at risk for commiting a sexual crime

[Demonhood]

Originally Posted by Tesseract

From a site I admin (mostly not relevant):
dwarf hamsters

because normal hamsters are WAY too big.

is your 5 year old at risk for commiting a sexual crime

yes.

a nice and random cross-section. well done.

[PurpleGiant]

Still puzzling over 'spendless shoes' being far and away my number one keyword for quite some time.

[Demonhood]

that...that doesn't make any sense.
mine last month was "swallowed". just that. sadly, it was mostly relevant. they got a picture of someone's uvula as a prize.

[Demonhood]

March 2006 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-swallowed (sorta)
-amish beard
-the zombie lair
-gay punk leather
-sleeping in the car
-chuck norris exercise machine quotes (i know, i'm just as shocked as you)
-iocaine powder quote
--here s a -bizarre -search query for the -macnn -thread demonhood (smartasses. )
-i love you funny
-mean girls quote del taco
-quotes referring to myspace (woah, a little too highly ranked on that one)
-leno dildo (that's right. don't judge me!)


Disappointed people:
-prison bitch
-gay steelworkers
-penile injury
-birthday cake star wars
-woman with shoes off
-red penis (my site does not contain medical information)
-had a bad day (you and me both buddy)
-eating left hand (for some reason this strikes me as the most odd of the bunch)
-lurking grue
-blair underwood naked
-cute hussy
-alf playing poker
-photos of ragged homeless street urchins
-that's not funny (it totally is)
-you-look-kind-of-fat (and-you-look-kind-of-ugly)
-i club baby seals

[Tesseract]

someone actually searched for:
£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£ °£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£° £°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°£°

Maybe they're the same person who searched for:
0000000000000000000000000000000000

[Todd Madson]

"used guitar hero for sale" cracks me up. I picture some 1970s ex-guitar hero
down on his luck trying to make a buck or two.

The one back there a bit about John Titor the "time traveller" was actually an
internet thing that happened a few years ago - he was supposedly travelling
back in time from the future to get some obsolete IBM minicomputer from
1974 for reasons unknown, search around if you want to read it. It's over at
wikipedia I know.

My personal favorites:
squeeze toy brain (a song of mine actually)
global diet pill pyramid scheme (aqua teen hunger force reference?)
11 unknown (why not 12?)
confused shoes (huh?)
bike theft school (none of that here, sorry)

[davesimondotcom]

'Hood - alf playing poker would be great as a band name...

I just get a ton of searches for Vector Safari... which makes sense.

[Demonhood]

April 2006 roundup:

Most popular bot: Inktomi
Most popular page: Earth Day Pix
Most popular OS: Windows (75.4%)
Most popular browser: IE (59.4%)
Most popular search engine: Google Image

Relevant searches:
-polaroid frame (my most popular search AND most relevant!)
-girl stilt
-eating brains
-lesbian boxing
-harry wong quotes
-boy wearing lipstick
-abortion ron silver (#1 on google)
-classic quotes myspace
-funny sacreligious quotes


Disappointed people:
-rectal thermometers
-sensitive nipples
-the perfect cunilingus (sorry, no tips for you)
-quotes for bitchy ex girlfriends
-garth brooks referring to god
-you're going to hell (probably)
-diaper game (umm...)
-chuck norris erotic fanfiction
-frankincense mir and gold
-how do we stop madcow disease
-captain ron shaved beaver
-what cannibal will eat martha stewart
-women with nipples (wait...)

[zro]

The most popular hit I've had through the years was, "what do cats eat", which to me seems obvious - cat food. It picked up a photo page titled "Cats eat meat."

[Demonhood]

May 2006 roundup:

Relevant searches:
-pie face
-cool runnings plot point
-how to stroke an image
-antonio sabato junior avec chuck norris
-random mean aim conversations (we're experts)
-never get in a land war sicilian
-mary magdalene holy grail quote -da -vinci -code (in a blasphemous sort of way)
-pictures of zombies eating brains
-carrot top is a dork


Disappointed people:
-salvador dali
-nude hotties
-a conversation with tom foolery by old man johnson
-sport asses
-cute hussy
-do women flustered when they are attracted to someone
-candy causes cavities quotes (profound stuff)
-quotes on the shrew wasn't tamed
-female belly (i somehow doubt i'll be giving sexytummies.com a run for their money anytime soon. )
-naked peacock