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You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > MacNN Dark Confession Series 01: SEX — NSFW

MacNN Dark Confession Series 01: SEX — NSFW (Page 3)
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design219  (op)
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May 27, 2008, 08:15 PM
 
Originally Posted by Face Ache View Post
Got caught shagging a girl by her boyfriend. In his bed.
You dog!

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Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
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nredman
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May 27, 2008, 08:23 PM
 
shut up people on macnn don't have sex

"I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniel's."
     
scaught
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May 27, 2008, 09:13 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth View Post
I have no doubt in my mind I am more likely to crash a car under the influence of a BJ than alcohol.
I don't know. I can drive pretty well under those circumstances. It gets a little rough at the end, but otherwise you just hold the wheel at 10 and 2 as hard as you can and hope for the best. I certainly wasn't speeding. I was worried about driving too slow on one of the occasions, actually.

Other than that, I'm kinda boring. Showers? That's not that sweet. In-a-room-with-parents-nearby? That's not that sweet. Airplane bathroom? I wish.
     
(s)macintosh
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May 27, 2008, 09:19 PM
 
The most unusual circumstance you have had sex.
You mean other than the completely unprotected make-up sex my girlfriend and I had to celebrate that she wasn't pregnant?

God we were stupid.
     
scaught
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May 27, 2008, 09:24 PM
 
^ That's not real.
     
- - e r i k - -
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May 27, 2008, 09:40 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth View Post
Shall we cast votes as to who we think will come through?

I'm betting on Erik.
Am I late to this thread?
  • Outdoor Spa Bath (public)
  • Bar toilets
  • Boats, parks etc.
  • BJ in car while driving
  • Virginity of girl taken in car outside her parents house where she snuck out
  • Outside party in broad daylight as her friends and brother (!) walked by. They stopped to say hi.
  • Got caught at friend's once in her bed. She got angry at first, but then joined in (yes, sounds like a bad porn plot, yet true).
  • Threesome with then girlfriend and her cousin
  • Beaches with people walking by (didn't even count this one)
  • Hood of my car in our apartment block complex communal garage. (and backseat)
( Last edited by - - e r i k - -; May 28, 2008 at 12:54 AM. )

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Andy8
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May 27, 2008, 09:42 PM
 
Originally Posted by ::maroma:: View Post
Ever since seeing "The World According to Garp" in my adolescence, I have a fear of getting a blowjob in a car.

For those who don't know/remember that movie, Robin Williams is cheating on his wife, getting a BJ in his car (parked on the side of the road) when a drunk driver slams into the back of his car, causing the woman to bite....with great force.. and well, you can guess where that story goes.
It was actually his wife cheating on him, she was giving a BJ to one of her students? in his car in the driveway, when Robin Williams crashes into the back of his car (after coasting down the hill, engine and lights off with the kids in the car), causing his wife to bite down on this guys ~
     
residentEvil
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May 27, 2008, 10:00 PM
 
sears tower express elevator: only 2 on the way down; foggy day so limited visibility; you get a discount, found the observation floor empty. she got me worked up and we headed to the elevator. she finished me off on the way down.

cemetery: middle of winter; parked the car, got nakkid, ran out to some random area and made "snow angels"

roof top: commercial building downtown during 4th of july fireworks

concert: harpos concert theater just outside downtown during type-o negative show

plus all the "normal" ones: cars, trains, boats, camping, out in the lake, frisbee golf course, etc.
     
Oisín
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May 27, 2008, 10:07 PM
 
A frisbee golf course is not a normal place to be, much less have sex.
     
Randman
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May 27, 2008, 10:13 PM
 
Sitting room while her parents were in the living room right next to it watching TV (and asking questions).
Beach in Bali under a full moon (except some other tourists were beach-strolling and walked right past.
Nightclub in New York City.
A couple of times in an airplane (first was on a Lufthansa business class flight from Singapore to Munich).
Victoria's Secret dressing room in England.
Restaurant in Singapore (had a closed-off banquet area but you could see diners in the regular main room from there).

And the classic "In de butt" answer.

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scaught
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May 27, 2008, 10:26 PM
 
Originally Posted by residentEvil View Post
concert: harpos concert theater just outside downtown during type-o negative show
Definitely cleaner than inside. Safer is arguable.
     
Spliff
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May 27, 2008, 11:16 PM
 
Originally Posted by Face Ache View Post
Got caught shagging a girl by her boyfriend. In his bed. That was... awkward.
Not cool dude, if you knew she was in a relationship when you were banging her. Not cool at all.

You're lucky you got out of that in one piece. If I walked in on my gf banging some dude, he would need a plastic surgeon to fix his totaled face.
     
Atheist
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May 27, 2008, 11:23 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spliff View Post
You're lucky you got out of that in one piece. If I walked in on my gf banging some dude, he would need a plastic surgeon to fix his totaled face.
I've never understood this logic. If you walk in on your girlfriend "banging some dude", isn't your gf the one at fault?
     
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May 27, 2008, 11:40 PM
 
i qwa thinrg that a podcust onh thai subjectg would be fubaf welcome to to humna netwojrk
     
Randman
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May 27, 2008, 11:41 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kerrigan View Post
i qwa thinrg that a podcust onh thai subjectg would be fubaf welcome to to humna netwojrk
In English?

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- - e r i k - -
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May 27, 2008, 11:44 PM
 
Something about a thai podcast on the hummer network

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Kerrigan
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May 27, 2008, 11:48 PM
 
Sorry, my keys get all stuck together. (Dark confession #2)
     
dcmacdaddy
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May 28, 2008, 12:45 AM
 
Here is a list. Some names have been changed to protect those I still know.
All incidences are as described and occur in roughly chronological order. I
have been quite creative with location but not so much with assemblages
(no three-somes or orgies for me).


Tracie
  • Got caught half-naked on the couch by my Mom
  • Had sex once or twice on her parents house-boat including one time where I
    held on to the gunnels while she straddled me; Her parents were sitting on deck
    five feet away

Rebecca
  • Did some heavy petting and fondling on her lower bunk while her room-mate--who
    I had fooled around with previously--was passed out in the upper bunk
  • The usual sex in her bed while her parents slept in the next room

Erika
  • At a huge party, had her throw up and pass out just as we were getting naked
    (talk about a buzz-kill)

MW (in my list of top two or three best lovers)
  • All sorts of sex on the Interstate (I-4) between Orlando and St. Pete (oral, manual, full-
    on sex in the rest area in broad day-light)
  • Fooling around or sex in lots of public places in and around Orlando, including New Smyrna beach during the day
  • Had sex at my boss's house, in my boss's bed, while she was out of town with her
    husband (I was pet-sitting for her)

Kristi
  • On top of the washing machine during the spin cycle
    (tougher to accomplish than you might think)
  • Lots of heavy petting and groping in the break-room at work (we waited tables together)
  • Manually stimulated her while she was standing at the kitchen counter making cookies
    with her young daughter standing on a chair on the other side of the counter
    (Kinda slimy when you think about it but we were engaged in the act before the daughter
    walked in and offered to help; she didn't want me to stop . . . and neither did I, really)

Raquel
  • Got a BJ and some sex on the National Mall in the grass near the Lincoln Memorial

Athena
  • Gave her oral, followed up by sex, in the front passenger seat of my car
    while stuck in a parking lot during a snow-storm

EW
  • Had sex with her before we went out on our first date
  • The usual sex in her bed while her parents slept in the next room
  • Had sex on a big rock on Loudon Heights in Harpers Ferry National Park
    (NOTE: We were off to the side of the access trail and NOT on the Civil-War era ruins)
  • Lots of times/places on a sail-boat as we lived together for a while on one

Kristine
  • Again with the boat sex, or rather in the water next to the boat

BA (definitely in my list of top two or three best lovers)
  • All OVER her apartment and mine (Nothing exotic really but if there was a
    room or piece of furniture that could be used to have sex, we did it on it)
  • Had sex on the hood of my car one night while car-camping (saw the
    prominent hand-prints on the hood the next day)
  • She wanted to do it in the server room where I used to work but I was
    afraid I would get caught by one of my staffers
( Last edited by dcmacdaddy; May 28, 2008 at 01:03 AM. Reason: forgot one interesting moment)
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besson3c
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May 28, 2008, 01:02 AM
 
Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy View Post
Mar*** (in my list of top two or three best lovers)
Marden??
     
IceEnclosure
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May 28, 2008, 01:28 AM
 
I could go on and on. I'll just not start. : \
ice
     
mattyb
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May 28, 2008, 02:24 AM
 
Ahhh, thats better. Thought that this place was full of virgins for a while.

A couple of people mentioned in a plane. HOW ? Do they have bigger toilets in first/business class? I sometimes have trouble with my shoulders touching the walls in plane toilets, I can't even imagine trying to shag in one.

Respect to residentEvil for the Sears Tower /bows.

Respect to - - e r i k - - for threesomes /kneels.

Oh and ghporter MUST be holding back a real corker. Let it out Glenn. You'll feel better for it.
     
Face Ache
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May 28, 2008, 03:20 AM
 
Originally Posted by Spliff View Post
Not cool dude, if you knew she was in a relationship when you were banging her. Not cool at all.

You're lucky you got out of that in one piece. If I walked in on my gf banging some dude, he would need a plastic surgeon to fix his totaled face.
Meh. The guy had punched my sister in a bar a few weeks beforehand so I was hunting the tosser anyways. Two weeks later his girlfriend walks into the bar, says "come with me", grabs me by the hand and takes me to their place. Whatyagonna do?

As it was, when the guy walked in on us he had a mate with him. The two of them just waited in the front room for me to leave - never said a word.

Just goes to show: I'm a lover, not a fighter.


edit: Now, if I'd shagged his girlfriend, THEN beat him up - that would have been uncool.
( Last edited by Face Ache; May 28, 2008 at 03:30 AM. )
     
mattyb
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May 28, 2008, 04:15 AM
 
He punched your sister????

That would invoke a serious response.
     
rickey939
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May 28, 2008, 08:29 AM
 
Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy View Post
[*]She wanted to do it in the server room where I used to work but I was
afraid I would get caught by one of my staffers.
w00t! Finally, that is some (potentially) hawt MacNN sex.
     
osiris
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May 28, 2008, 09:20 AM
 
Sorry, no computer related sex. Instead a couple of trysts with awesome babes:

3am on the Causeway going to Miami, in a convertible (with the top down)

Gulf of Mexico off Clearwater, in the water during midday

Adirondack State Park, NY, 'love' at 4000 feet in the woods

best all time: ex babe calls to tell me that she got a boob job, and she wants to show me. she showed me, but it sucked because fake boobs suck and these were gd giant plastic volley balls. I still did my duty, but didn't like it.
( Last edited by osiris; May 28, 2008 at 10:17 AM. )
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Dakar the Fourth
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May 28, 2008, 09:57 AM
 
Originally Posted by - - e r i k - - View Post
Am I late to this thread?
  • Got caught at friend's once in her bed. She got angry at first, but then joined in (yes, sounds like a bad porn plot, yet true).
  • Threesome with then girlfriend and her cousin
Jesus, erik. I'm not sure which one blows my mind more. If it is was anyone else, I could write it off as "maybe they weren't that hot."

It's also a nice reminder that I probably passed up my best chance for a threesome when I broke up with my last gf.
( Last edited by Dakar the Fourth; May 28, 2008 at 10:06 AM. )
     
residentEvil
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May 28, 2008, 10:07 AM
 
Originally Posted by scaught View Post
Definitely cleaner than inside. Safer is arguable.
no, it was inside. outside downtown was the description where the place is
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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May 28, 2008, 10:36 AM
 
1. Public transportation bus (Greyhound-style...if anyone in Toronto knows the Go Bus, haha)
2. While driving 100km/h on a lonely highway at night in northern Alberta (sex, not head...figure that one out, scariest moments of my life)
3. An old, old friend/crush's virginity 2 nights before her wedding (not to me obviously)
4. On a car hood in a semi-empty, semi-full Famous Players movie parking lot
5. In a full movie theatre, in a back-row walkway, during Cold Mountain (if that helps you understand)
6. On a university teaching assistant/Ph.d student's desk, and getting caught by her supervising professor unexpectedly walking in during the "high point"


this all sounds strangely exhibitionist

/good welcome-back thread

greg
( Last edited by ShortcutToMoncton; May 28, 2008 at 10:44 AM. )
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Spliff
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May 28, 2008, 01:55 PM
 
Originally Posted by Face Ache View Post
Meh. The guy had punched my sister in a bar a few weeks beforehand so I was hunting the tosser anyways.
Punched your sister? Ah, then you were justified. Still, sounds as if you were lucky to get out of there in one piece. Seems like the guy prefers punching women to men.
     
- - e r i k - -
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May 28, 2008, 07:11 PM
 
Threesomes aren't all they are cracked up to be…
Who am I kidding, they're awesome!

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Face Ache
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May 28, 2008, 07:25 PM
 
^ Surprisingly true, but I've had it pointed out to me that guys like to discover this for themselves.

I nearly scored a foursome once with three lady friends. The logistics involved! The third girl invited herself into our threesome but then had second thoughts, as she was two weeks away from her wedding.

Women are strange creatures.
     
Randman
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May 28, 2008, 07:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by - - e r i k - - View Post
Threesomes aren't all they are cracked up to be…
At times. Depends on how involved everyone is.

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Luca Rescigno
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May 28, 2008, 07:43 PM
 
On my wedding night, my wife and I made love for the first time in the missionary position with the lights off for the purposes of procreation only.

jk I'm not married

"That's Mama Luigi to you, Mario!" *wheeze*
     
Face Ache
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May 28, 2008, 08:38 PM
 
Originally Posted by Luca Rescigno View Post
On my wedding night, my wife and I made love for the first time in the missionary position with the lights off for the purposes of procreation only.
and you weren't even missionaries?!
     
Andy8
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May 28, 2008, 08:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by - - e r i k - - View Post
Threesomes aren't all they are cracked up to be…
Who am I kidding, they're awesome!
Exactly.
     
Andy8
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May 28, 2008, 08:59 PM
 
Actually it is better done with strangers, as it will end up toasting friendships, for at least one of the "three"
     
Randman
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May 28, 2008, 09:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by Andy8 View Post
Actually it is better done with strangers, as it will end up toasting friendships, for at least one of the "three"
Cousins are also good though you can't get them to play together.

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mattyb
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May 30, 2008, 11:33 AM
 
Originally Posted by Randman View Post
Cousins are also good though you can't get them to play together.
Having sex with cousins leads to great banjo players !!!!

     
design219  (op)
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May 30, 2008, 11:43 AM
 
Originally Posted by Andy8 View Post
Exactly.
To which part are you agreeing? Did you see the white text?
__________________________________________________

My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
     
design219  (op)
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May 30, 2008, 11:45 AM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Having sex with cousins leads to great banjo players !!!!

The kid was really not that good.
__________________________________________________

My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
     
Randman
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May 30, 2008, 02:57 PM
 
Not my cousins. Them being cousins. Sheesh. I'm ain't from Arkansas.

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Mastrap
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May 30, 2008, 02:58 PM
 
It's a French tradition to lose your virginity to a cousin. During the summer holidays at the French Riviera.
     
wallinbl
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May 30, 2008, 07:43 PM
 
Playground (night)
On a public road (directly on the road, not in a car or anything) (night)
Secluded field in a public park (day)
BJ on the highway (day)
     
Spliff
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May 30, 2008, 07:52 PM
 
I think this is the right thread to post this music video:

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me [NSFW]
( Last edited by Spliff; May 30, 2008 at 08:19 PM. )
     
abe
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Jun 1, 2008, 12:52 AM
 
Mom's bed. (My room was a mess).

On the bank of the Russian River. (North of San Francisco.)

Laundromat late at night.

Many back seats of cars:
- In quiet upscale neighborhoods.
- At the lake while cutting school.
- In Drive-In movie theaters.
- Next to a Dept. Store loading dock when a truck interrupted us to make a delivery after midnight.
- At a car dealership, during evening business hours, in a mini-van, on the showroom floor.

At a message parlor with a masseuse.

In the living room of my g/f's house with her feeble Grandpa sitting watching TV and we were at the other end of the room.

On a cot, in a dark, crowded, pot smoke filled 'partying' tent while listening to the sounds of Barry White, while I was downrange on field maneuvers in the Army.

At work in a photo lab darkroom.

On a kitchen floor on a moonless night, in the dark, with a woman I'd never before met, nor seen.

A teacher, conducting a door-to-door product survey during summer break, left a product sample with me to try for two weeks. I suggested that on her return to get my opinions of the product that she should bring her swimsuit so we could swim in my apt complex pool. Sure enough, she came back for my survey responses and told me she'd brought her suit. I led her to the bedroom to change and showed her in. I followed behind her and closed the door.

On Christmas eve with a dance instructor in her trailer. She called me "Mandingo."

I was the first of five guys with a woman who welcomed the chance to try a gang bang.

I answered a personal ad for a couple who wanted a 3rd party. The guy wanted to watch someone else do his wife.

At a Swinger's party. (I brought my roommate as my escort.)
( Last edited by abe; Jun 1, 2008 at 01:14 AM. )
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hookem2oo7
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Jun 1, 2008, 01:16 AM
 
9th green at a local golf course
     
SpaceMonkey
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Jun 1, 2008, 01:18 AM
 
Originally Posted by Mastrap View Post
It's a French tradition to lose your virginity to a cousin. During the summer holidays at the French Riviera.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
abe
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Jun 1, 2008, 01:21 AM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
Do you guys know anybody that had sex in church?
I've caused many women to cry out His name. Does that count?

Whenever two or more are gathered...
America should know the political orientation of government officials who might be in a position to adversely influence the future of this country. http://tinyurl.com/4vucu5
     
ghporter
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Jun 1, 2008, 09:59 AM
 
Originally Posted by hookem2oo7 View Post
9th green at a local golf course
Which golf course? It makes a difference.

A couple I know had "an interesting stroll" on the old municipal course where Austin Community College's Riverside campus is now. This was after the course had closed (permanently) and it was still just a nice rolling, grassy area. Sometimes you just "know" when someone has been up to "something" by the look on their faces.

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Jun 1, 2008, 09:14 PM
 
I was at a park today, working, when a couple walked by me. I noticed because the woman was looking very "directly" at me, kinda saucy-like, which I thought was odd. Then they both went into the porta-potty about 15 feet away. For about 10 minutes. Then casually walked out, and she gave me a slight smile as they strolled by.

A little over an hour later, I'm working about 200 feet away, by another porta-potty, when the exact same thing happens, with the exact same couple. I was flabbergasted, so I kinda stood there staring over at the thing. Then the door opens, the woman sticks her head out and looks at me, raises an eyebrow, and winks.

Very odd. I shook my head and walked off.

greg
Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
     
 
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