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thinking about suicide -- down to my last straw (Page 2)
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RAILhead
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Nov 14, 2008, 11:58 AM
 
"Everything's so clear to me now: I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant. Get it? And he knows it.
That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it. Yeah. Before he let's loose the marmosets on us."
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Timo
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Nov 14, 2008, 12:19 PM
 
Mike

Great dog. Lots of good posting in here.

I had the unpleasant job of telling someone about a mutual friend's suicide yesterday. Even though the suicide was years ago, my friend didn't know about it, and it was upsetting for her like the day it happened.

My friend who killed herself was accomplished, smart and genuinely helpful -- she steered me on my path to my career. It bothers me to this day I was not able to help her, in part because I didn't know about her struggle.

Good job on getting out there with your feelings. It's important to share your perspective, your fears and anxieties, but also your hopes and dreams.

And, as other said, try to keep talking to people who really know this stuff. It's important to not feel alone in this world. I know it can feel like a drag, but get out there.
     
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Nov 14, 2008, 01:57 PM
 
Hello Mike,

I also live in NYC and have found over the years that it takes considerably more time to develop meaningful friendships here than in other places. That has been my experience anyway and I'm not sure why that is--but you're not the only person to experience it.

At one point, all of the friends I'd spent years cultivating left and I was very depressed myself. Big cities are very transitory places and I've found you have to continually develop new relationships as people move on.

You probably know how a confident person acts in a social situation--try to "fake" that behavior a little. Most people are very receptive to being approached and far more will speak with you than will turn you away. I see a lot of people standing in small circles in places like bars and lounges--that's because that makes them feel secure. While people will love to be the center of attention within their circle, remove them from their circle and they turn into a trembling wallflower--so you're not that different.

When I'm in a social mood, I now prefer to go to bars/lounges alone--because its such a riot. I see people I'm interested in standing in their usual insecure circles and it really is like shooting fish in a barrel sometimes. The fear that people have about rejection is completely irrational and exaggerated. I haven't had someone dismiss me in about 3 years but I don't much care if they do. The one time it did happen, the person approached me later and apologized--turned out he was having a bad day.

Anyways, don't kill yourself. There's plenty of fun to be had and you're tuff time will pass. BTW, if your father is encouraging you to kill yourself, that is one family member that I'd consider not speaking with for awhile.
     
turtle777
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Nov 14, 2008, 02:43 PM
 
I second tooki's idea of volunteering.

It takes your thoughts off of yourself. You will also feel good once you see how *you* can contribute to make someone else's life better.

At any rate, don't give up. Try something that you haven't tried. Maybe a new religion ?

And also, like others said, get out of NYC.

-t
     
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Nov 14, 2008, 02:56 PM
 
be safe Mike.

and condolences to those who've lost someone.

I like the analogy of imagining what you'd miss if you were gone--curiousity about life and the world is one of those human things. Get interested in life. I know it's hard. It's something I'm going to try to remind myself as well.
     
linger
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Nov 14, 2008, 03:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by tooki View Post
P.P.S. Get away from anyone who puts you down. You do NOT need to put up with that!!!!
Amen on that. But having said that, don't confuse CONSTRUCTIVE criticism with someone putting you down.
     
MacGallant  (op)
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Nov 14, 2008, 06:09 PM
 
thanks for the replies, guys!

I've been busy all day . . .

went to the gym the the morning for weight lifting and yoga-- been there for 3 1/2 hours!

later on in the afternoon, I went to SoHo to fill out job applications to find work-- Old Navy, H & M, and Uniclo . . .

just got back . . . and read the posts from you guys, my fellow MacNN buddies!

thanks for the advice! I will try to stay positive!

Railhead, I like the caption you added to Lisa's picture-- very comedic and funny!

And about volunteering, I volunteered for JASA at a senior citizen's apartment complex as a computer lab instructor from september to october but I quit due to getting belittled by a old lady resident who lives there and also because the staff blamed me for their whole network being shut down by some intruder over the weekend because there was miscommunication about who is responsible for when to lock the computer lab door-- they didn't show me how to lock the door and I didn't even have a key for the door.

I will consider to volunteer again in the future though. . .

again thanks to everyone for their compassion!
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vmarks
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Nov 14, 2008, 06:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by linger View Post
Amen on that. But having said that, don't confuse CONSTRUCTIVE criticism with someone putting you down.
I once heard someone tell me that the time to start worrying is when people stop giving you criticism. If you've got critics, it means they care enough about the results of what you do to try and help you improve. When you stop getting criticism, they've stopped caring or hoping you can improve.

Welcome criticism. Seek it out, even.
     
tooki
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Nov 14, 2008, 07:44 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
went to the gym the the morning for weight lifting and yoga-- been there for 3 1/2 hours!
My god! I wish I had that kind of dedication! You'll be a hunk in no time if you keep that up!

Originally Posted by vmarks View Post
I once heard someone tell me that the time to start worrying is when people stop giving you criticism. [...]
Welcome criticism. Seek it out, even.
Incredibly true. But if someone's just belittling you, then you need to remove that aspect from your life.
     
grayware
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Nov 14, 2008, 09:05 PM
 
Nothing lasts forever Mike, what is miserable today will be better tomorrow. I understand you've unfortunately had a rather rough ride in life so far, but you yourself have the most power to alter your journey. You can change things profoundly.

There's a lot of great advice in this thread. You may despair again and if you do, just call on us again. Virtual friends are certainly helpful but do try to develop a solid friendship close by so you can confide in him/her, and stay close with your brother.

I too have had depression at some points in life and it seems that younger people around your age (my saddest times were in my mid teens) are more susceptible to depressing thoughts… you don't see that many goths in their 70's. Make sure your therapist is impressive to you – I've had several psychologists and one in particular was superbly outstanding. When you go for an hour and come away with nothing much learned, it's almost a waste of time.

I had an uncle and an aunt commit suicide and the people they left behind are scarred forever. Suicide is an "easy" way out; persevering is hard but has great rewards. I recall my own sadness and thought at the time that perhaps it'd be better to not live anymore, but then another day or two passes and beauty and happiness present themselves once more. Be strong. You may be down again and in despair but it will pass.

Stay in touch with us. I wish you the best. Be well.
     
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Nov 14, 2008, 09:43 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
thanks for the replies, guys!

I've been busy all day . . .

went to the gym the the morning for weight lifting and yoga-- been there for 3 1/2 hours!

later on in the afternoon, I went to SoHo to fill out job applications to find work-- Old Navy, H & M, and Uniclo . . .

just got back . . . and read the posts from you guys, my fellow MacNN buddies!

thanks for the advice! I will try to stay positive!

Railhead, I like the caption you added to Lisa's picture-- very comedic and funny!

And about volunteering, I volunteered for JASA at a senior citizen's apartment complex as a computer lab instructor from september to october but I quit due to getting belittled by a old lady resident who lives there and also because the staff blamed me for their whole network being shut down by some intruder over the weekend because there was miscommunication about who is responsible for when to lock the computer lab door-- they didn't show me how to lock the door and I didn't even have a key for the door.

I will consider to volunteer again in the future though. . .

again thanks to everyone for their compassion!
Things sound good, keep it rolling!!
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@pplejaxkz
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Nov 14, 2008, 09:46 PM
 
I am a person who is fighting depression as well. It's tough and I am not going to say it'll get any easier down the line either. I'm not going to shout out "Medicate" because I've been on countless mood stabilizers, anti-depressants and even used marijuana heavily for years. Medication isn't always the answer, but it can help.

One thing I learned is that you can't bottle things up. That is the worst thing that you can do. When you do that it just eats at you and eats at you. If you can find some way to release some of that pressure/anger/emotions I'm sure that would make you feel a little better. I know part of depression means, not wanting to do the things you usually would like to do. But I know there has to be something that you like to do that you still enjoy. Be it drawing, playing games, reading, flying a plane if you're John Travolta.

I work full time at the Apple Store, I go to school full time and I lost my only friend a couple years ago. I feel like a robot doing the same thing over and over, countless days I feel all alone. The one thing I look forward to every day is in fact the end of the day. I make sure to designate a couple hours a night to myself to watching cartoons. Weather it be a Pixar movie or Adult Swim cartoons, it's something that I enjoy.

I just want to say that you are not alone in this fight against Depression. It's very hard and a lot of people don't really understand how hard it really can be. Everyone here is willing to be here for you. Hell if you ever have a thought like that, please contact someone here or even IM me.

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sdilley14
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Nov 21, 2008, 12:06 AM
 
So what's goin on man, how are things?
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@pplejaxkz
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Nov 21, 2008, 12:10 AM
 
Yeah what's going on? What have you been up to lately?
     
(s)macintosh
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Nov 21, 2008, 12:56 AM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
I'm not normal, I'm really messed up, my life is messed up. . .
I'm reminded of a quote...

What do you want?
Just to live a normal life.
There is no normal life. There's just life, ya live it.

I hope you find happiness and reason. Don't do anything harmful or irrational to yourself. There are people out there who can help. Please, contact them!
     
iranfromthezoo
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Nov 21, 2008, 03:30 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
I was always on the verge of suicide since I was 15 and my younger brother would always bring me back. . but we separated now. . . He's in Cali and I moved to NYC. . .

My brother was the only support and real friend and companion I had. . .
and now I'm so alone. .

How old am I, you ask? I not a scrappy kid or teenager anymore, I feel old, let's just say that I'm older than 22. . . I'm embarrassed about my age. . . I feel like an invalid. . . esp. because I'm getting older and I'm not in college anymore and I don't have a job. . .

I'm actively looking for work in NYC and I keep getting turned down. I got a job interview at a NY Mac dealership and at an Applestore but I failed the job interviews. . . I applied for work at Macy's, Borders, Staples over the past few months and today I applied for work at Target and Burlington Coat factory and probably nothing will come of it. . .

Man I kind of understand where you are coming from. I used to feel like everything was meaningless...Until I chose my job. I don't know about you but the FDNY is hiring right now. It is tough to get into but man just volunteer for a few months. Give it a try. Become a volunteer fireman, you will most likely find that it's for you or not. But man that will give a sense of pride and belonging if you really are okay for it. Plus being a vol. fireman can send you into a career with a full time fire dept/ems plus you will create more connections with the people there. You'll be joining one of the largest fraternities in the world and will be looked out for and cared for. PM me if you want more info on vollying anywhere in NYC I can get you hooked up.

Also don't think being a fireman means running into burning buildings...Anyone can be a fireman, we need computer guys to people to just help us clean up after a call.
     
MacGallant  (op)
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Nov 21, 2008, 05:11 PM
 
To answer the questions, "what's going on ?" and "what am I up to lately?"--

I joined a bunch of groups at meetup.com and went to the meetup group for shyness/social anxiety last Sunday and attended a meetup group for depression, missed the meetup for bipolar group-- but I made a some friends at these meetup and made new acquaintences at the gym.

I'm going to Christian Fellowship Meeting at Transconfiguration Catholic Church tonight due to an invitation from a guy who runs it. . . his name is Craig. . . he's a really nice guy for welcoming me with open arms into this group.

I also attended a United Methodist Church for 3 Sundays a few weeks ago and the pastor's make-it-so guy came to my house last night to tell me that the hospital that his wife works at is hiring for desk clerks and his wife is a nurse administrator.

So there is a conflict, do I return to the United Methodist Church? (it has a very small congregation, about 14 people)-- just for a possible chance of getting the desk clerk job? or do I return to Transconfiguration Catholic Church--which has a huge congregation (meaning greater chances of making more friends!) Also the Transconfiguration Church is very protestant like-- a lot of activities after Mass service with clubs to join and has a very community type of feeling. I'm trying to decide. ..

And about joining FDNY-- I don't think I'll be able to take on work like that at the moment, but thanks for the advice iranfromthezoo!

Thank you all for your inquiry concerning my well being and safety! I would like to return the love but I don't know how . . .
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sdilley14
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Nov 21, 2008, 05:37 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post

Thank you all for your inquiry concerning my well being and safety! I would like to return the love but I don't know how . . .
Hey, it's all good man. It's just good to hear you're doing better and meeting some new people. That's all the love we need man.
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NobleMatt
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Nov 21, 2008, 05:51 PM
 
wow just read this topic from top to bottom, alot of people care for you man, some fantastic advice given by people who have been where you are, and they're still here today, living a happy life on the other side, a very achievable goal.

I'll be honest i dont know if i have ever really felt depression, its hard cause ive never seen anyone or even really know what it is to say if ive felt it, but i have had the thought of Suicide pass my mind once or twice, and do you know what i thought? nah, that sh!ts too permanent, what if i got it wrong, what if the best thing in my life is still to come, i'll have missed it. Be selfish, this is the only thing you know, life, make sure you live it till the end, dont miss a thing.
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lpkmckenna
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Nov 21, 2008, 05:58 PM
 
I'd say keep going to both churches. You don't know which you'll prefer in the long run. Don't worry about the conflict of interest stuff, that'll get sorted out on its own.
     
design219
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Nov 21, 2008, 06:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
I would like to return the love but I don't know how . . .
When you're rich and famous you can buy us all the latest iPods!

Well done guy!, sounds like things are looking up. Keep us posted.

Oh, and I don't see any problem with attending more than one church... they all have the same basic goal. I'd say look at and work all your options.
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Nov 21, 2008, 06:12 PM
 
Originally Posted by ghporter View Post
Having a rescue pet is a wonderful thing.
Ours is a Treeing Walker Coonhound. She's adorable.

MacGallant, I recommend that you continue seeking out support from those groups nearest to your life, churches included. Also, people are talking about music and how it can lift spirits -- try movies, or anything else you enjoy. Nothing lifts my spirits more than a great adventure flick, or even some of my wife's chick flicks.

Look, I've been through periods of severe depression in my life, and could go into another one tomorrow, who knows. What I look to every day to keep me going is my family and my friends, but I set out every morning to do something positive with my life and I try to recognize all the ways that I add to the lives of others every day.

I have friends who wait for a reason to be happy every day, and it never comes. That has never worked for me. Even when I'm depressed (tired, sore, stiff, etc.) I can look for good things to cheer me up. A sunny sky. The green of the grass. My son's smile. A post at MacNN about something I'd completely forgotten about since my 10th birthday.

The main thing is to make baby steps.
     
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Nov 21, 2008, 08:01 PM
 
Here's another suggestion to add to all the good ones posted so far.

Join Toastmasters.

Why? You'll make friends and improve your self-confidence through better public speaking, which in turn, will make you more successful in job interviews. You'll also get instant feedback and adulation for your inner attention whore. And, best of all, it's inexpensive, usually around $125 per year.
     
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Nov 21, 2008, 10:06 PM
 
Just to echo what lpmckenna and design219 said, go to both churches. You will find one that suits you best and eventually settle into that one. Maybe the smaller congregation will provide you a better sense of community but that doesn't mean the larger congregation won't be welcoming to you at their social events. Besides, it's the same God and the same message of faith and love at both churches.

Glad things are going well for you. Keep it up and you'll find out more about yourself and where you fit in this world. I think you've already shown us you do fit in and do belong by what you've done lately. (And think about what these new friends you've met would have missed out on if you had killed yourself; They would have never gotten to know you. Wouldn't that have been a shame.)

Just keeping checking in every so often so none of us have to come looking for you: There's nothing worse than a bunch of angry Mac users.
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Visnaut
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Nov 21, 2008, 11:43 PM
 
Mike, really glad to see you start taking those baby steps. Good on you for getting out there and being proactive. You're doing yourself more good than you can imagine.

I agree with the sentiment of others about not feeling as if you have to commit to one congregation or another at the moment. I do, however, highly recommend pursuing the hospital desk job if it interests you. Health care professionals are a great bunch all around. It sounds as if you'd be around nurses too, and let me tell you, they're wonderful, nurturing people. I should know, my significant other is one ;-)

Something I wanted to let you know about is this app Optimism. I ran into it while I was browsing iusethis today, and I immediately thought of you. It lets you track your depression and helps you identify the outside factors that may be contributing to your overall mental health. You may have already heard about it, but I'll throw it out there anyway.

Take care, and keep us posted!
     
MacGallant  (op)
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Nov 22, 2008, 12:32 AM
 
Thanks guys,

I just got back from the christian fellowship meeting, it went well. . .

but there was one thing that made me a little uneasy. . .

everyone there are successful young professionals-- 1 guy is a lawyer, 2 women work in the stock market, 1 woman is a physical therapist, and 1 guy is in finance (I think) and I'm unemployed and felt very self conscious about it . . . I felt embarrassed . . .

Anyways, thank you to my fellow MacNNers for showing such care and warmth!

Good night everyone
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Chuckit
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Nov 22, 2008, 01:13 AM
 
There's no need to be self-conscious just because some people's careers are going better than yours. I hang out with people who earn many times more than I do as well as people who make many times less — what difference does it make? Some of them are also better at baseball than I am, but if we're not playing ball, it doesn't really matter.

Also, the two people in the stock market probably envy you these days.
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red rocket
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Nov 22, 2008, 05:30 AM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant
everyone there are successful young professionals-- 1 guy is a lawyer, 2 women work in the stock market, 1 woman is a physical therapist, and 1 guy is in finance (I think) and I'm unemployed and felt very self conscious about it . . . I felt embarrassed . . .
Apart from the physical therapist, they’re probably all heading for heart attacks, ulcers, and ruinous divorces. Besides, if they’re doing that great, what are they doing at some christian fellowship meeting instead of guzzling down champagne with their rich buddies and driving their Ferraris down to their beach houses? I’m guessing their lives aren’t that fulfilling, either.
     
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Nov 22, 2008, 06:56 AM
 
Talk to a therapist. Seriously, no shame in it, just do it.

One day you will look back and think, "Wow, the best thing I ever did was talk to a therapist". Seriously, just do it. Once, I was depressed, broke, friendless, and basically disowned by family for being gay. Then a few months after finding a therapist to talk to, I was dating a (gay) model and had worked my way back into a respectable position, both academically and athletically. It was a true 180 degree turn in my life.
     
MacGallant  (op)
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Nov 22, 2008, 10:21 AM
 
Kerrigan, I noticed you said you were dating a male model,
so do you know, by any chance, what a guy needs and how to be a male model?
'Cause when I think back deeply, there were people, such as my Aunt Christina, who said I was good looking despite others who said I was ugly. . .
And I think I got the height thing down-- I'm 6ft 1 inch in height
I may not be the beef cake body type, I more like a male waif and I read in NY Times that for the men's fashion industry, the thick beefcake type is no longer the tread and the thinner leaner male waif type is in fashion at the moment. . .
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Nov 22, 2008, 11:50 AM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
I'm going to Christian Fellowship Meeting at Transconfiguration Catholic Church tonight
Awesome.

Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
do I return to the United Methodist Church? (it has a very small congregation, about 14 people)-- just for a possible chance of getting the desk clerk job? or do I return to Transconfiguration Catholic Church--which has a huge congregation (meaning greater chances of making more friends!)
Stick with the Catholic Church. Ask them about RCIA. A few reasons:
1. It is the true Church established by Christ.
2. It has the correct theology.
3. There are so many resources, beginning with the sacraments.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you shouldn't be going to church just to network in order to get a job. (And you shouldn't pick a church based on this premise.) Also, although many would disagree with me, I would argue that the Church also doesn't exist for social reasons (although this could be an added benefit).

The Church exists to serve God and his children. In going to Mass, you are witnessing the greatest miracle. It is best to focus yourself on Christ and His sacrifice while you are at Mass. When all seems hopeless and you have no one whom to turn, Christ is there for you and, as always, expects you to turn to him.

You've made a huge step here. If it can be of any help to you, the folks over at Catholic Answers (catholic.com) offer free advice. if you ever need to just talk to someone, give them a call. They can also point you in the direction of other resources, including counseling.
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Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
Also the Transconfiguration Church is very protestant like-- a lot of activities after Mass service with clubs to join and has a very community type of feeling. I'm trying to decide. ..
This sounds like it is a more "liberal" Catholic parish. At this point in time, that may be what you are looking for, and it may be a good start, but I would encourage you to explore other Catholic parishes as well. You are blessed in that there are so many in NYC!

I'll be praying for you. (In good Catholic fashion, at least a Rosary decade.)

Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
I would like to return the love but I don't know how . . .
You could pray for all of us!
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Cipher13
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Nov 22, 2008, 11:52 AM
 
Ohh boy. /zip
     
Ted L. Nancy
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Nov 22, 2008, 11:56 AM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
everyone there are successful young professionals-- 1 guy is a lawyer, 2 women work in the stock market, 1 woman is a physical therapist, and 1 guy is in finance (I think) and I'm unemployed and felt very self conscious about it . . . I felt embarrassed . . .
Don't feel self-conscious. At a Christian group like this, and really in every other circumstance, everyone is on equal spiritual ground, and your worldly welfare or position is of no consequence to your relationship with God, your spiritual well-being, and your eternal life.

Besides, it looks like you found a good group to with whom to network to help you find a job.
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ShortcutToMoncton
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Nov 22, 2008, 12:13 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
so do you know, by any chance, what a guy needs and how to be a male model?
And, think about it dude: do you really want people judging you and your career based on how you look?

To me, there would be fewer things more depressing than that.

(Although that might just say something about my terrible looks, who knows. )

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Nov 22, 2008, 12:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
Thanks guys,

I just got back from the christian fellowship meeting, it went well. . .
Way to go

And don't listen to the *********s that tell you that religion is only for losers.

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Nov 22, 2008, 09:46 PM
 
Originally Posted by Ted L. Nancy View Post
1. It is the true Church established by Christ.
2. It has the correct theology.
Dude, this seems a little out of line here.
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Nov 22, 2008, 09:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by Ted L. Nancy View Post
your worldly welfare or position is of no consequence to your relationship with God, your spiritual well-being, and your eternal life.
While one's current state of emotion does not directly have bearing on one's status in the afterlife, you must remember that we are still humans in this life. Do not discount someone's depression or self-loathing simply because "it doesn't matter in regards to your relationship with God".

There is more to life than sitting in a church worshiping God 24/7. Sounds sacrilegious, I'm sure, but God designed us to be emotional beings - ignoring that emotion because it doesn't necessarily appear to have direct bearing on God or your relationship with God is naive and insensitive to an extreme.

Originally Posted by design219 View Post
Dude, this seems a little out of line here.
Ditto. I don't think anyone is looking for a theological debate in this thread.
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Ted L. Nancy
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Nov 22, 2008, 10:25 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
While one's current state of emotion does not directly have bearing on one's status in the afterlife, you must remember that we are still humans in this life. Do not discount someone's depression or self-loathing simply because "it doesn't matter in regards to your relationship with God".
Agreed. However, I was referring to the reasons for the emotions, not the emotions themselves. That is to say, I have not discounted any depression or self-loathing. On the contrary, I am trying to illustrate why one should not let their position in this life or the positions of others in this life (be it, lawyer, unemployed, whatever) steal their joy.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
There is more to life than sitting in a church worshiping God 24/7.
Absolutely. Moreover, one's external actions should mirror one's internal beliefs.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I don't think anyone is looking for a theological debate in this thread.
Myself included, and you won't find me being drawn into one anywhere amidst these forums. He merely asked a specific question (should I go to church x or church y?). I only wanted to offer my advice, pithily, as well as an abbreviated explanation of my reasoning. He could take it from there. Others could offer their advice on that matter too. We are all adults, and I'm sure most everyone understands, as do I, that I person will ultimately reach their own conclusions about spiritual matters, so I wouldn't have said anything had he not asked. Anyway, back on topic I suppose. If he wants to talk about religious stuff, he is welcome to email me. I'll refrain from bringing it up around here. Deal?
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Nov 23, 2008, 01:52 AM
 
Originally Posted by MacGallant View Post
everyone there are successful young professionals-- 1 guy is a lawyer, 2 women work in the stock market, 1 woman is a physical therapist, and 1 guy is in finance
successful? have you seen the stock market lately?

Everyone has ups and downs and it is your turn to move up!
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Nov 23, 2008, 02:58 AM
 
I agree that churches are relevant to the thread, but for the sake of not derailing everything, if we're going to talk about them, let's leave out a church's "truth" or "correctness" and just leave it to what they have to offer the emotionally distressed. (I'm not trying to attack anyone for helping here. It's just that, you know, some topics can get a little heated.)
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shifuimam
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Nov 23, 2008, 03:39 AM
 
In that light, I think it's worth noting that participation in a church can open up possibilities for free counseling. Obviously it's not going to be the same as going to a bona fide psychiatrist who can prescribe meds, but it can help.

When my parents split up at the start of my senior year of high school, I started seeing my youth pastor on a pretty regular basis (weekly as my schedule allowed). It helped to have someone to talk to, and such services are usually provided at no charge.
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Nov 24, 2008, 05:02 AM
 
keep it up my friend. The darker the dark the brighter the light will be :-). We're here if you ever need to vent again. Sometimes it helps just to hear someone else's take on it.

Take care.
     
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Nov 24, 2008, 07:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
Way to go

And don't listen to the *********s that tell you that religion is only for losers.
I don't recall anyone in this thread saying that.

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Nov 24, 2008, 07:43 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
In that light, I think it's worth noting that participation in a church can open up possibilities for free counseling. Obviously it's not going to be the same as going to a bona fide psychiatrist who can prescribe meds, but it can help.

When my parents split up at the start of my senior year of high school, I started seeing my youth pastor on a pretty regular basis (weekly as my schedule allowed). It helped to have someone to talk to, and such services are usually provided at no charge.
Actually most churches, at least all that I have ever been too, offer counseling and support to anyone. Even if you are not a member or have never attended..
     
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Nov 24, 2008, 08:24 PM
 
Indeed, though it's worth noting that some pastors/priests/what-have-you are about as well-qualified for that stuff as I am. (They're not all incompetent, but they aren't the same as licensed psychiatrists either, so I think it's worth keeping in mind.)
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shifuimam
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Nov 24, 2008, 09:22 PM
 
Oh, absolutely. If you need medication and serious psychotherapy, church counseling isn't going to cut it.

But it can be really good if you just need an objective third party to unload on when the weight of all your problems is becoming unmanageable.
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Nov 24, 2008, 09:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by Chuckit View Post
Indeed, though it's worth noting that some pastors/priests/what-have-you are about as well-qualified for that stuff as I am. (They're not all incompetent, but they aren't the same as licensed psychiatrists either, so I think it's worth keeping in mind.)
Good point™!

I have a lot of "faith" in NANC certified counselors. I will be attending the first series of certification training this coming February.
     
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Nov 24, 2008, 10:21 PM
 
That's the thing: training and experience. A good counselor should have lots of both. I got tons of training in first line intervention. Everything from "I just can't bother to study" to "I just can't go on." But my training all came down to "keep the person from doing anything serious until you can get them to a qualified counselor" which meant a psychologist or psychiatrist. (In the military, one CAN be ordered to undergo psychological/psychiatric evaluation, which is handy in cases where one is suicidal.)

So being a good listener and having a long list of people who can help with various problems is a good start. But it's only a start. And not every clergyman/woman is properly trained to handle even moderate problems.

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Nov 30, 2008, 05:38 PM
 
Hey MacGallant, I hope everything is going well.
     
MacGallant  (op)
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Nov 30, 2008, 06:23 PM
 
Thanks ipkmckenna!

But things aren't so great right now. . .

During Thanksgiving, my mom and dad had a big fight and blamed me because they ordered turkey that they thought would come cooked, warm and ready to eat. . . they brought me to tears and they totally torn me down with their angry words. . . after that we just heated the turkey and side dishes in the oven . . .

later that night relatives and family friends arrived for dinner and my sister wasn't feeling because she has anxiety when there are a lot of people about. . . my sister ended up skipping dinner. . .

around 5:30 A.M. in the morning the next day she attempted suicide and she drank bleach, which was my idea for my own suicide, and she vomited all over the house -- my dad told my sister to drink the rest of the bleach to finish the job because he claimed she was a burden to the family and that she would be better off dead. My mom quickly called 911 and she was taken to the E.R. . . . but she is ok now and is in the psych ward under suicide watch. . .

That sums up how I spent my Thanksgiving holiday/Black Friday. . .
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