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Poop Culture
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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My wife got me this really interesting book which I've been reading. One good point that it made was that when you think about it, toilet paper is not terribly sanitary. Basically, wiping yourself all you are doing is smearing and spreading around fecal matter. What would be more sanitary would be a little wash basin for your butt, sort of like a little bathtub.
Do any of you use a little butt basin in your homes, or know anybody that does? Do you agree that this would be superior in terms of hygiene? This sounds like a great business idea!
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Cape Cod, MA
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Your Anus
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I solve this problem by inserting a 4" long by 3/4" inch wide plastic tube into my anus. The feces passes through the tube without soiling my anal area. No wiping needed. I just throw the tubes into the dishwasher at the end of the week. It actually ends up saving you a lot of money because toilet paper is pretty expensive.
The trick is training yourself to grasp the tube with your sphincter while pushing. It takes a couple of weeks to get it down, but it's great once you figure it out.
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My sig is 1 pixel too big.
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Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New York
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How is this different from a bidet?
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Cape Cod, MA
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True Story.
We renovated 5 bathrooms in a house this past summer. One bathroom had a Bidet put in. Right after it was installed I turned it on out of curiosity and it sprayed me right in the face.
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
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Originally Posted by iChris
How is this different from a bidet?
It's not.
Just put the moronon ignoreon and geton with your life.
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Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New York
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Okay, both of you guys just brought on the laughs. sek929... did you have any idea what you were fiddling with? That's like something out of a sitcom.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Cape Cod, MA
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I knew what a Bidet was, but there was still air in the lines or something and it had WAY to much pressure.
I'd imagine if I actually tried to use it I would've gotten a cheap enema.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The New Posts Button
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Originally Posted by ort888
I solve this problem by inserting a 4" long by 3/4" inch wide plastic tube into my anus. The feces passes through the tube without soiling my anal area. No wiping needed. I just throw the tubes into the dishwasher at the end of the week. It actually ends up saving you a lot of money because toilet paper is pretty expensive.
The trick is training yourself to grasp the tube with your sphincter while pushing. It takes a couple of weeks to get it down, but it's great once you figure it out.
Warning: Don't read the quoted post if you often picture things you're reading
In unrelated news: lulz
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Cape Cod, MA
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You're just mad because his anus diameter is so much smaller than yours.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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I haven't read much of this book yet, so I haven't come across bidets, but now I know what they are!
Lighten up analogika, this is just an internet forum.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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Originally Posted by ort888
I solve this problem by inserting a 4" long by 3/4" inch wide plastic tube into my anus. The feces passes through the tube without soiling my anal area. No wiping needed. I just throw the tubes into the dishwasher at the end of the week. It actually ends up saving you a lot of money because toilet paper is pretty expensive.
The trick is training yourself to grasp the tube with your sphincter while pushing. It takes a couple of weeks to get it down, but it's great once you figure it out.
Are you serious? I've never heard of this solution before... Do you take this tube with you wherever you go? Does everybody in your family use their own tubes?
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: USA
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Wet the toilet paper during pre-flight.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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wet toilet paper and wet naps are an improvement, but you're still basically just blotting and smearing... I'm most interested in the promise land of a clean anus like I have after I shower, and I want a clean anus wherever I go, and without any expensive robots or assistants.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PDX
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I hate wiping my butt. Takes forever, it stinks, sometimes I end up using a half of a roll of toilet paper, and sometimes it gets on my fingers. Yet when I think about spraying a thin stream of cold water up my pooper after a good sit down session, it makes me cringe. And then I think, how would a little stream of water get all of the poop out of my anus? How long do I have to sit there with that stream of icy cold water shooting where I generally don't want things to be shot? Do I have to move around in order to clean the entirety of my poop shoot? (I know what you're all thinking, "how messy are your poops??" And I would answer, "usually not very" but from time to time I would have to answer "very".)
So this whole bidet thing troubles me. So many unanswered questions.
But a question that someone here may be able to answer for me, what cultures other than ours use toilet paper?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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I think it might be better to ask which countries *don't* use toilet paper?
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The New Posts Button
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Originally Posted by sek929
You're just mad because his anus diameter is so much smaller than yours.
http://www.jibjab.com/view/194533
(The payoff is at the very end)
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
Status:
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i use quarters.
and, wtf? i thought we were done with this crap (pun intended). reported.
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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Nope, there are still people that enable this.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
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and i will just keep reporting.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PDX
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Originally Posted by besson3c
I think it might be better to ask which countries *don't* use toilet paper?
True. So allow me to revise my question:
What countries don't use toilet paper as a means of clearing out the chocolate dragon residue?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
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OP = http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...erm=ass+bandit
or a little M.O.D
AIDS lyrics:
You're accused of the following charges
You're a woman trapped inside a man
Your sexuality no one denies you
But your preference we can't understand
You are the lonliness of all people
It's time for you to realize
AIDS like the plague is from God
For he sees something wrong in his eyes
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
Analy Inflicted Death Sentence
A.I.D.S.
That's what you get for having
A penis up your ass
You should have used a condom
That's what you get when you
Swallow another man's load
A lubricated condom
How do you find love in another man's hairy ass
You should have used a condom
Millions of lost hamsters
Running ramped in your bowels
Take the Hershey Highway
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
A manly man
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
Fudge packing men
time to hit itunes or limewire and download. what a great song!
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: planning a comeback !
Status:
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Besson, your fetish with poop is seriously irritating.
I mean, WTF ?
You have probably started well beyond a dozen of threads just on sh!t ? What's wrong with you ?
Ok, done.
-t
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Behind the dryer, looking for a matching sock
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PDX
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Originally Posted by turtle777
Besson, your fetish with poop is seriously irritating.
I mean, WTF ?
You have probably started well beyond a dozen of threads just on sh!t ? What's wrong with you ?
Ok, done.
-t
But poop is so universal. It should be bringing us together, not tearing us apart!
Can't we all just get along? (and share poop stories?)
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: USA
Status:
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Poop is the duct tape of the human excretive experience
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: California
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Originally Posted by residentEvil
i use quarters.
and, wtf? i thought we were done with this crap (pun intended). reported.
There was a church with nuns and monks living in it but they were not allowed to go near each other or speak to each other.
One day 4 monks went to have a shower and after they had stripped off they found there was no soap so one brave monk said that he would go and take some from the nuns quarters.
Off he went naked as the day he was born to get the soap. He quickly found some soap but on the way back he heard some nuns coming back so he decided to act as a new statue and stood frozen
The nuns came round the corner and instantly noticed the figure standing in the hallway they giggled to each other and approached it.
One nun put a quarter us his ass, grabbed the monks penis, and pulled and the monk droped 2 of his bars of soap the nun exclaimed "Oh, look its a soap dispenser"
Another nun approached the monk and the same happened
The third nun approached the monk put a quarter us his ass and pulled she screamed "It dispenses hand cream aswell"
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: USA
Status:
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Your Anus
Status:
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Originally Posted by besson3c
Are you serious? I've never heard of this solution before... Do you take this tube with you wherever you go? Does everybody in your family use their own tubes?
I have a whole bunch of tubes. I keep them in a plastic tub next to the toilet and wash them at the end of the week. I'm pretty regular so I don't normally take them with me... but when I go on a trip or something I take a small bag.
Lots of people around here do this. I thought it was normal until I went to other parts of the country and people acted like I was nuts for doing it.
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My sig is 1 pixel too big.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Isle of Manhattan
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Poop is the crap that binds us.
I for one prefer bidets, especially the heated ones.
The hands never need to go near the poop chute. It's especially appreciated on those odd days, when you would normally go through about three cases of Charmin in one sitting.
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"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
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We have a heated bidet, it's neat but I rarely use it. Usually I do my business right before I take my shower, so it's a moot point.
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
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Senior User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Manch-Vegas, NH
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Originally Posted by besson3c
We all poop guys
Well unless you're Catholic in which case it's concentrated evil coming out of you </Family Guy>
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What, me worry?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Rochester, NY
Status:
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Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
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"Everybody Poops." It's a children's book. However, it's normal for people to mature past the point where discussing poop and pooping is fascinating. As many of us will agree, guys take a lot longer to get past the idea that gross, messy subjects are fascinating.
On a functional and on-topic subject, I think bidets are a great idea, though I've yet to have a chance to try one. If my wife and I design a theoretical "next home", (as opposed to choosing an existing design, as we did with our current home), we WILL include bidets in the bathrooms. As for "smearing it around" when using tissue, that would mean you're doing it wrong.
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Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Rochester, NY
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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I can read many books at the same time. I'm reading 3 Shakespeares right now too, the ones that George Bush read!
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
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OK, bidet fans, try this:
Do your business.
Use your bidet.
Wait a few minutes.
Then wipe.
If there's any business on the paper then, let's face it, you're walking around with a dirty backside all day if you think the bidet is sufficient to do the job. And if you can't walk around with a clean backside then where are you? Nowhere, that's where.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 888500128
Status:
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Detroit
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: BFE
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It's your ass. Of course there is poop there! So what? Wash it when you take a shower! That's why you wash your hands after using the can: because you can't wash your ass in a typical US bathroom!
I heard in India, one wipes ones ass with one's hand and a little water, then washes one's hands afterwards.
Oh yeah. And...
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I'm a bird. I am the 1% (of pets).
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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I never understood that book cover. Do apples poop?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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Originally Posted by analogika
I thought you were displeased with this thread analogika?
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Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Status:
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Farts are exploding out my ass as you read this!! And I'm not wiping either.
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Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Status:
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Farts are exploding out my ass as you read this!! And I'm not wiping either.
Butt seriously, taking a crap in and of itself is probably unhygenic no matter how you try to clean it up. And walking into someone's crap stench afterwards is always a great conversation piece.
In college, I think there were several people who regularly used the shower bath as a bidet. That's why I wore flip flops.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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Maybe the solution here is the butt tube thing?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Rochester, NY
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I predict someone will register Butt Tube! before the end of the day today.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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The other interesting point in the book is that the sitting toilet is actually hard on our bodies and makes defecation more difficult than it has to be. The most ideal pooping position is the fetal position, biologically speaking. Somebody needs to invent a toilet that will help support your legs being elevated to assist in pooping.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Rochester, NY
Status:
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Ever see a Japanese toilet?
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