[BlueSky]

This just in:

[ManOfSteal]

What's up home-slice? Keep it real yo.

Peace.

Amen.

[d4nth3m4n]

[ironknee]

hey god, what's up with the facial hair?

[brapper]

UH OH...
Didn't think he was watching...

[Superchicken]

Anyone watch Jeremiah?

"God says duck"

[rjenkinson]

Originally posted by Bluesky:
This just in:

ah, http://spamusement.com/... http://cheston.com/pbf/archive.html is good for a laugh too.

[BlueSky]

Be at one with God. And don't forget your goggles.

[sideus]

yikes

[SamuraiDL]

Namaste you silly ****s...

[effgee]

not new but always good for a giggle ... he showeth his wrath in many ways ...

• 

[Rev-O]

So this guy hears a Voice. The Voice says "Quit your job."
The guy ignores it. Unfortunately, The Voice keeps speaking to him. Keeps saying "Quit your job." After a few weeks, the guy is so worn down by The Voice, he gives in. Quits his job.
The Voice says "Sell your house. Sell everything but your car. Sell it all."
Guy ignores The Voice for a few days, but The Voice is insistant. "Sell your house, sell everything you own, except your car." Eventually, the guy buckles. Sells it all. Keeps the car.
The Voice then tells him "Go to the bank. Empty all your accounts. Liquidate everything."
The guy thinks, why not? I've quit my job, sold my house and all my possesions because of The Voice, might as well.
The Voice then says "Drive to Vegas."
Vegas? The Guy thinks. Well, alright. So he goes to vegas.
The Voice tell the guy "Go to the first casino and go to the roulette wheel."
Hey now, the guy thinks. This is getting good. The Voice is telling me to play roulette!
"Red 19. Bet red 19. Bet everything on red 19!" The Voice commands.
Yah! The guy thinks. Yah! The Voice is telling me to bet red 19! Yah! Eagerly, he places his life's worth on red 19.
The wheel is spun, the ball bounces around... from slot to slot... finally landing in... black 26.

The Voice says "Sh!t."

[d4nth3m4n]

^^

[Lancer409]

Originally posted by d4nth3m4n:
^^

i agree .. that was friggin hilarious ... lol .. but would u chance it if it were you? what if u put in half because u are reluctant ... then again .. who'd do all that in the first place? .. anyways i'm babbling and laughing my head off .. pff ..

[SamuraiDL]

If you hear God, then somethings might be wrong. I could be wrong, but I dont think im supposed to hear God.

[DeathToWindows]

Originally posted by Bluesky:


Be at one with God. And don't forget your goggles.

what the bloody hell is that?

[Superchicken]

Originally posted by SamuraiDL:
If you hear God, then somethings might be wrong. I could be wrong, but I dont think im supposed to hear God.

I've heard God before. There's actually a Christian spiritual discipline called practising the presence of God. Many North American Christians pretend as if there is something strange about hearing the voice of God. If you meet a group of mature Christians you'll probably find a good chunk of them find nothing strange about saying they heard God's voice.

[TheBadgerHunter]

Originally posted by Superchicken:
I've heard God before. There's actually a Christian spiritual discipline called practising the presence of God. Many North American Christians pretend as if there is something strange about hearing the voice of God. If you meet a group of mature Christians you'll probably find a good chunk of them find nothing strange about saying they heard God's voice.

God hasn't spoken with anyone for a very very very very long time.

Some people think that if he did it would lend more "credibility". I wouldn't call those people mature.

[Lancer409]

Originally posted by TheBadgerHunter:
God hasn't spoken with anyone for a very very very very long time.

Some people think that if he did it would lend more "credibility". I wouldn't call those people mature.

my mom's told me she's heard god before. once, it had to do with her new job .. before she started at a new job, she heard a voice telling her she's going to have a difficult time ... and it was ... poor mom ...


there's another one that happened when she was on the train ... supposedly has to do with my future job occupation ... i'm not too warmed up about the idea as of yet ... we'll see if it comes true

[Eriamjh]

Why you talk to god, they say you are praying.
When God talks to you, they say you are crazy.

[MilkmanDan]

Gee... I sometimes have my doubts about when people say they have heard God's voice.

"Hey Frank, I heard God last night"
"Oh, really, what did he say?"
"He told me to sleep with your wife, and take your car."
"I somehow doubt thats what God said."
"Well, I mean, he did once tell the Jews to kill the Caininites and take their land."
"Good point, what time should I have my wife go to your place?"

[drive-thru]

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by TheBadgerHunter:
God hasn't spoken with anyone for a very very very very long time.

He tell you that himself?

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by drive-thru:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHahahahahahahah

[TheBadgerHunter]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
He tell you that himself?

In a manner of speaking, yes

[wdlove]

"Beware of false prophets coming in my name."

[willed]

Originally posted by wdlove:
"Beware of false prophets coming in my name."

Beware of ducking idiots more like. God talks to no one. Even if there was a God, he wouldn't be like your dad only bigger and invisible.

And hey, God, if that's not true, why don't you just tell me

[ I know, I know, thou shalt not put the Lord thy God to the test! ]

[ and since when has the profanofilter edited out 'p o o p y p a n t s' ? ]

[BlueSky]

God is always speaking to you. Most of us don't listen.

But as a belief system, it's pure bullsh�t.

Only one way to find out, and that's to be quiet. Not easy to do.

[willed]

Originally posted by Bluesky:
God is always speaking to you. Most of us don't listen.

But as a belief system, it's pure bullsh�t.

Only one way to find out, and that's to be quiet. Not easy to do.

god is everywhere if we just take the time to look, in the sunset, in the trees, in the bluebirds. Of course I don't believe in 'organised religion' - no, that's waaaaaay too restrictive and authoritarian. I just think that god is the warm fuzzy feeling I get when I'm nice to people.





goddam hippies

[Superchicken]

Simply because God is not a great big omnipotent grandpa who sits you on his lap and gives you a werthers doesn't mean He stopped talking after Moses, or the prophets, or Jesus, or the Apostolic age. People like to always draw lines between when God is allowed to speak and when He's not.
My calling to the pastorate was near audible. One of the most unsettling experiences in my life. The belief that God doesn't talk to anyone comes from people who don't listen. From a Christian perspective God talked to the prophets who had imperfect connections with Him. They had to approach Him on their own. Through Christ we in the Church have it much more intimate and we have the potential to go further. So why if we can enter into as intimate relationship with God as has ever been possible would we cease being able to hear Him?
Why if back and forth fellowship with God were impossible would Jesus have died for His people? Who wants to date a chick that you can't even talk to? Who wants a child who can't even understand you?
Scriptural revelation has the highest authority of course, but personal and natural revelation are also valuable ways to hear God. The Bible is not on it's own, it's simply the most difficult to get wrong. But if one learns to look at the world through scripture imprinted eyes it becomes very common to hear God speak softly. It's not always some sort of profound thing, sometimes it's simply funny. But He's very much there.

People who pretend otherwise not only work to stop themselves form ever entering into an intimate relationship with God, but they tend to make efforts to prevent others from knowing the God who loves them more than words can express. How unfortunate.

[TheBadgerHunter]

Originally posted by Superchicken:
Simply because God is not a great big omnipotent grandpa who sits you on his lap and gives you a werthers doesn't mean He stopped talking after Moses, or the prophets, or Jesus, or the Apostolic age. People like to always draw lines between when God is allowed to speak and when He's not.
My calling to the pastorate was near audible. One of the most unsettling experiences in my life. The belief that God doesn't talk to anyone comes from people who don't listen. From a Christian perspective God talked to the prophets who had imperfect connections with Him. They had to approach Him on their own. Through Christ we in the Church have it much more intimate and we have the potential to go further. So why if we can enter into as intimate relationship with God as has ever been possible would we cease being able to hear Him?
Why if back and forth fellowship with God were impossible would Jesus have died for His people? Who wants to date a chick that you can't even talk to? Who wants a child who can't even understand you?
Scriptural revelation has the highest authority of course, but personal and natural revelation are also valuable ways to hear God. The Bible is not on it's own, it's simply the most difficult to get wrong. But if one learns to look at the world through scripture imprinted eyes it becomes very common to hear God speak softly. It's not always some sort of profound thing, sometimes it's simply funny. But He's very much there.

People who pretend otherwise not only work to stop themselves form ever entering into an intimate relationship with God, but they tend to make efforts to prevent others from knowing the God who loves them more than words can express. How unfortunate.

Thats nice, cozy, even comforting but you pulled all that from where? The fact is God only ever spoke at certain times. Its not a question of when, its a question of who.

Why do you associate God speaking to you with the most vague imperceptible forms? If indeed it is the same as when God talked to the prophets then why did he decide to change his methods? Doesn't seem to fit with a more intimate relationship if his words are barely perceptible. Why is there no mention of it in the bible?

Without a biblical basis all of this has nothing to stand on.

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by Bluesky:
God is always speaking to you. Most of us don't listen.

[FulcrumPilot]

Originally posted by willed:
goddam hippies

what if god is a hippie and is now addicted to cocaine and is getting wasted somewhere? This will explain a lot.

[willed]

Originally posted by TheBadgerHunter:

Without a biblical basis all of this has nothing to stand on.

Well duh.

[Kilbey]

If God is speaking to you, you better write it down and demand it be placed in the Bible. If it is God speaking there is no fault in it and it is scripture.

Even Paul didn't claim to have God talk to him.

[Superchicken]

Originally posted by TheBadgerHunter:
Thats nice, cozy, even comforting but you pulled all that from where? The fact is God only ever spoke at certain times. Its not a question of when, its a question of who.

Why do you associate God speaking to you with the most vague imperceptible forms? If indeed it is the same as when God talked to the prophets then why did he decide to change his methods? Doesn't seem to fit with a more intimate relationship if his words are barely perceptible. Why is there no mention of it in the bible?

Without a biblical basis all of this has nothing to stand on.

I have to get up and go work out right now. But if you are actually willing to listen I will explain my point further. But basic mystic elements have been prominent staples of Christianity since it's inception.

[TheBadgerHunter]

Originally posted by Superchicken:
I have to get up and go work out right now. But if you are actually willing to listen I will explain my point further. But basic mystic elements have been prominent staples of Christianity since it's inception.

Sure.

[SubGeniux]

Originally posted by Kilbey:
If it is God speaking there is no fault in it and it is scripture.

Matthew: 19:26, "with God all things are possible."

Judges: 1:19, "God is not almighty, as he helped rid Judah of inhabitants of the mountain, but could not drive out those in the valley "because they had chariots of iron."

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by SubGeniux:
Matthew: 19:26, "with God all things are possible."

Judges: 1:19, "God is not almighty, as he helped rid Judah of inhabitants of the mountain, but could not drive out those in the valley "because they had chariots of iron."

Actually it was the men that could not. The lord was with them, but they still couldn't physically take the chariots over.

There has been times however God has blinded full armies of men so they would be defeated.

Judges 1
19 The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had iron chariots.

[SubGeniux]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
Actually it was the men that could not. The lord was with them, but they still couldn't physically take the chariots over.

There has been times however God has blinded full armies of men so they would be defeated.

[/B]

That's not quite how some interpret it, or what the Hebrew texts say.

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by SubGeniux:
That's not quite how some interpret it, or what the Hebrew texts say.

It will be what you want it to be.

Regardless of the truth.

[SubGeniux]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
It will be what you want it to be.

Regardless of the truth.

I agree, people will interpret things according to how they wish to see certain matters, well, in lots of cases anyway.

[MindFad]

[Shaddim]

Originally posted by SubGeniux:
Matthew: 19:26, "with God all things are possible."

Judges: 1:19, "God is not almighty, as he helped rid Judah of inhabitants of the mountain, but could not drive out those in the valley "because they had chariots of iron."

That's fascinating. What translation of Judges is that? The NKJV says.

"And the LORD was with Judah; and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron."

Taken from my translation:

"Adonai was with Judah, for he drove the people from Baal. However, he could not remove those whose home was the In Dwelling, for they had ways of Iron."

[SubGeniux]

Originally posted by MacNStein:
That's fascinating. What translation of Judges is that? The NKJV says.

"And the LORD was with Judah; and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron."

Taken from my translation:

"Adonai was with Judah, for he drove the people from Baal. However, he could not remove those whose home was the In Dwelling, for they had ways of Iron."

That's my translation from the Tanakh, in which I replaced the key component from the line to empasise God's inability to be almighty. Also, the meaning is clear, or it can be put up to interpretation, whatever you want to read into it. The comparison to Matthew is worth nothing though.

I guess interpretation is ok, especially since you inserted Baal there.

[SubGeniux]

Here's the verse.

???????? ??????? ????????????? ?????????? ?????????? ????? ???? ??????????? ????????????? ???????? ??????????? ????????? ??????

[Shaddim]

Originally posted by SubGeniux:
That's my translation from the Tanakh, in which I replaced the key component from the line to empasise God's inability to be almighty. Also, the meaning is clear, or it can be put up to interpretation, whatever you want to read into it. The comparison to Matthew is worth nothing though.

The meaning is clear, but I don't see how in the world you extracted God's "inability to be almighty" from the indicated verse. IMO, that's a rather poor analysis, unless you have a corresponding verse or other evidence to corroborate your view.

But, hey, that's your opinion, and that's fine with me. I'm not grading your efforts.


Edit: there are MUCH better verses to support your claim, BTW.

[SubGeniux]

Originally posted by MacNStein:
The meaning is clear, but I don't see how in the world you extracted God's "inability to be almighty" from the indicated verse.

In the exact same way that others extract their numerous interpretations of the scriptures by their own methods. I admit that I should have elaborated more on the verse than just plain translation/interpretation, probably given a commentary, or examination of the two verses. I guess I was just hasty since it early Friday evening, and I was/am way above the legal alcohol likmits foor driving, lol.

Still, even the with the most rudimentary translation, one coluld interpret that in a number of ways. Here, I've updated it with the more common translation found in Bibles. Still is a cracker though

Matthew: 19:26, "with God all things are possible."

Judges: 1:19, "And the LORD was with Judah; and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron."

[SubGeniux]

Originally posted by MacNStein:


Edit: there are MUCH better verses to support your claim, BTW.

I know, but never post on boardsd while steaming drunk.

[SubGeniux]

Ugh, my bed, where iss it.

L'khayyim everyone!!!!!