[Spliffdaddy]

OK, so I have a fascination with redheads wearing skirts. Me and my boss were discussing this topic the other day while we drove to meet a client. I commented on the fact that he seemed to find all Asian women attractive - something I've noticed in all the time we spent looking at women while we drive around meeting clients.
At first he tried to deny it, but eventually gave-in and agreed it was a true statement. Then he asked me why I find all redhaired women attractive. He couldn't help but notice, he told me. I didn't even try to deny it, because it's damned obvious. I told him I was looking for the perfect girl. In fact, I've spent the last six years looking for the perfect girl...and had no success.
My boss seemed surprised that my quest had yielded nothing since it began in late 1999. "After all", he said, "you're just looking for a pretty redhead wearing a skirt." Which is true. "But that's exactly the problem", I replied.
See, I've had six years to think about all this. And I've just about thought it to death.
I began explaining the hardship associated with seeking my perfect girl. First of all, for every 16 females - only *one* will have red hair. You can thank genetics for that. So, only 6.25% of the total female population qualifies for consideration as my 'perfect girl'. Out of those 6.25% of females, perhaps 20% of them would fall into my 'allowable' age bracket (25-40). That's just 1.25% of the total female population. But wait! It gets worse from there.
Realistically, not all women are pretty. I hate to say it like that, but I'd be ********ting you otherwise. Me and my boss spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the ratio of ugly-to-pretty women might be. We even did some statistical analysis while we ate lunch at Pizza Hut. We rated the first 25 women that walked through the door on a scale of 'pretty or not'. Our analysis indicated that one was, indeed, ugly - yet only six were truly pretty. Therefore, 24% of women in our survey group were pretty.
Ok then. Just 24% of the 1.25% of the female population will, statistically, be an attractive redhead between the ages of 25 and 40. Described as a percentage of the population, it would be 0.31%. But wait! It gets worse from there.
Sure, 31 out of a thousand females will be attractive redhaired women between the ages of 25 and 40...BUT...not all of them will like me. As a rule of thumb, I figure maybe 1 girl that I like out of 50 will like me back. That's only 2% - and I'm a damn good looking desireable guy! So, if only 2% of 0.31% would like me back, then statistically the percentage of women that fit the description of my 'perfect girl' would be (drum roll please)
.0062%.

My boss looked at me and said, "But how many of them wear skirts?"

I shrugged and told him to pull into the 7-11 so I could buy a Powerball lottery ticket. I figured my odds were pretty good. Well, better than the odds of finding that perfect girl.

[loki74]

I can hear the screaming of stereotypes about how shallow we guys are already... but I must say I found this story rather amusing. I really like how no-nonsense you are about there being ugly people out there. I hate it when people call me shallow if I suggest this.

..I actually happen to be very (I do mean, VERY) close friends with a redhead girl. Just friends though I think shes fairly good looking. But alas, not in your age bracket. heheheh...

The other thing I find ironic is... correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't readheads readheads as the result of an actual genetic flaw (a recessive one, explaining the low percentage) and it is because of this flaw that you would regard them as perfect?

heh, on the bright side, when you score that perfect chick at least you can be that much more certain that she is indeed "the one."

EDIT: Good luck with that powerball thing... maybe the extra money in your pocket will tip the scales as far as 1 out of 50 girls liking you back?

[Doofy]

Spliffy, move to Scotland. Since there's more redheads there than anywhere else, and even the blokes wear skirts, you'll be sure to increase your chances of success.

[ShotgunEd]

Originally Posted by Doofy

Spliffy, move to Scotland. Since there's more redheads there than anywhere else, and even the blokes wear skirts, you'll be sure to increase your chances of success.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

OK, so I have a fascination with redheads wearing skirts. ...

I only got this far.

Do what I did. Marry one.

WARNING: redheads will drive you to an early grave. You were warned.

[skalie]

Hair dye and clothes shops, where's the problem?

[wallinbl]

Are you marrying a person or a body?

[Maflynn]

The perfect girl - my wife

Luckiest guy on the planet to be married to such a great woman - and she's a red head

[skalie]

Originally Posted by wallinbl

Are you marrying a person or a body?

a fetish

[rickey939]

I'm a redhead, but don't wear skirts. Sorry!

[ghporter]

Redhead is more than just a hair color. There's an old story about the difference between brunettes, blondes and redheads that I won't go into except to say that once you belong to a redhead (it works in that direction, by the way) you never get away.

On the other hand, my wife's natural hair color is reddish brown, so I can enjoy both the supposed relative calm and moderation of a brunette with the wild side of a redhead thrown in for good measure.

And spliff, I'm with you on "redhead" and "skirt." When those words are in the same sentence, I read it three times! Woo hoo! Seeing a redhead wearing a skirt n the street ALWAYS gets my attention.

Doofy, I know a pair of sisters from Wales-one's strawberry blonde, the other redder haired. Yow, what a pair! It's a good thing I'm already married, or I'd be in a world of trouble!

[Spliffdaddy]

While I appreciate the comments from the folks who married redheads, it also makes me jealous. See, you're skewing my odds of finding one by taking all of them. You hafta figure that out of the meager .0062% of qualified candidates - MOST of them are already spoken for. So my calculation needs adjusting. Heck, only 20% of those .0062% are even available.

edit: .00124%

It seems you all appreciate what you've got. As you damn well should. I mean, you've won life's little Powerball. Don't forget to tell her she's one in a million....and now you've got the numbers to back it up.

[osiris]

Spliffdaddy - you should check your local papers for a Scottish/Irish social gathering. You might be surprised how your odds will improve. For a better selection, take a trip overseas and gain some first hand experience on what's out there. At the least you'll have a great vacation. Lotsa luck!

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by Doofy

Spliffy, move to Scotland. Since there's more redheads there than anywhere else, and even the blokes wear skirts, you'll be sure to increase your chances of success.

This is the correct answer.

[The Godfather]

^ And with his U.S. citizenship, the odds of a girl liking him back are 101% !

[hickey]

I saw this gourgeous redhead at an art gallery last night, I was so amazed by her I watched her for about 15 minutes from the second floor, only to find out she came their with her boyfriend. I know your pain of meeting availbe redheads.

[wdlove]

A sad low number. But you may have missed out on some awesome girls. Personality is important for a lifetime.

[SirCastor]

I'm very much a proponent of the idea that Most men (myself included) are only interested in dating supermodels. And only that because we want to show our girlfriend off to all the other guys. When it comes to marriage though, I'd say most men go for the whole package, of course we want someone who's beautiful, but we also want someone loving, intelligent, funny, etc. The major benefit being that when you love someone, they become more beautiful to you.

That said, my girlfriend is very pretty, and underneath her Brunette lockes is an interesting streak of red on the sides. She wears skirts all the time.

[BlueSky]

Erg. Dude, you think too much and while doing your equations and statistics, nine redheads have passed you by unnoticed.

Make up your mind to get a redhead, let it go and it'll most likely come out of left field when you're not looking.

Or try craigslist. Or Match.com, that's where I met my gf.

BTW, I relate. Redheads are scrumptuous.

[wallinbl]

Just out of curiousity, which type of redhead do you find more interesting (redder like Marcia Cross or blonder like Nicole Kidman)?

[scaught]

hahha.

great thread, spliff.

[goMac]

Originally Posted by Railroader

WARNING: redheads will drive you to an early grave. You were warned.

I dated a redhead on once. She was hot, but mentally she was a nutcase.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

OK, so I have a fascination with redheads wearing skirts.

I am not putting on that skirt for you!

Originally Posted by loki74

I can hear the screaming of stereotypes about how shallow we guys are already...

Let's hope Monique doesn't see this thread

[MacPoker101]

The perfect girl, no such thing, nobody is perfect.

[RGB]

I've fallen for quite a few redheads. It's a problem. They're up to no good, really. Once you've dated one, you find yourself looking at every single one you see.

[skalie]

Edit: no that wasn't funny

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by RGB

Once you've dated one, you find yourself looking at every single one you see.

I find the same to be true for redheads, brunettes and blondes.

[ShortcutToMoncton]

I dated this incredibly cute Polish redhead named Anna a couple years ago. It will probably go down in history as the most brief, effed-up dating experience I've had. It went from instant, total attraction (on HER part even more) to suddenly realizing she didn't want me calling her in two weeks, for absolutely no reason I could fathom. Why?! Turns out I wasn't really too interested in smoking weed, and although neither was she this just limited her possibilities too much.

Oh yeah, and now that I think about it I also had a rather tumultuous relationship with a lovely older redheaded lady named Crystal. She was waitressing at my ex's parent's 25th-anniversary party, and I got her number. We ended up getting in one of those "you come over and I'll **** your brains out, but this isn't anything serious or permanent" ruts, but I guess she started to feel the 'ol biological clock was telling her it was time to get something more stable, and there was no way I was going for that. Last time I talked to her she was pregnant with her second kid, so that worked out well for her, haha.

It was pretty hilarious, I must say. After stops in between for blondes with blue eyes and brunettes with brown eyes, I went back to brunettes with green eyes. It can't be beat.

greg

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by skalie

Edit: no that wasn't funny

Could you explain it anyway? I didn't geddit. Google gives me many suggestions (the Dutch Space Planning Bureau being one of them), but none seem to make any sense...

[JHromadka]

[davesimondotcom]

Chalk up another MacNNer who is married to a pretty redhead. But she rarely wears a skirt, if that make you feel better Spliff.

[skalie]

Originally Posted by Oisín

Could you explain it anyway? I didn't geddit. Google gives me many suggestions (the Dutch Space Planning Bureau being one of them), but none seem to make any sense...

I made a drunken quip that I'm not proud of.

Sort of snooker terminology, as in RPB reffering to "red, pink and brown"

I apologise and probably wont do anything of the sort again, tonight.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by skalie

Sort of snooker terminology, as in RPB reffering to "red, pink and brown"

I know nothing of snooker, but I think I can imagine what the red, pink, and brown would stand for. Ahem.

[hickey]

Kari Byron from Mythbusters, the one reason I watch the show:

[skalie]

where's the skirt?

[loki74]

Originally Posted by Oisín

Let's hope Monique doesn't see this thread

I WAS actually going to say that.. but I decided not to target anyone specific. You read my mind though, lol.

[osxrules]

Y'know what's worse than pondering the likelihood of meeting your perfect woman? Actually finding her, getting within arms reach and then losing her forever because you didn't have the balls to do anything about it.

^ true story

[hickey]

Originally Posted by skalie

where's the skirt?

shes wearing one on the top pic, you just cant see it

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by osxrules

Y'know what's worse than pondering the likelihood of meeting your perfect woman? Actually finding her, getting within arms reach and then losing her forever because you didn't have the balls to do anything about it.

Amen.
There's a lesson in there somewhere.

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by wallinbl

Just out of curiousity, which type of redhead do you find more interesting (redder like Marcia Cross or blonder like Nicole Kidman)?

Blonde-red, for sure.

But it has to be undeniably red - not a iffy sort of red.

Oh yeah. Freckles. Gotta have freckles.

I want the total package.

There's no way I'm going to settle for anything less. I've got too much time invested in the search.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Blonde-red, for sure.

But it has to be undeniably red - not a iffy sort of red.

Oh yeah. Freckles. Gotta have freckles.

Would it be too much of a long shot to venture a guess that Natalie Press, although a bit on the young side perhaps, might possibly fall into the category of 'your type', then?

If so, I recommend you watch My Summer of Love, which also happens to be a rather sweet, somewhat odd little movie.

[Spliffdaddy]

Yes. She's quite a young little hottie.

I'll see if I can find that movie. Not sure if I'll have any luck, though.

hey, do you remember how everyone always used to make fun of redheads when we were youngsters?

God, I was a dumbass.

edit: I know...some of you believe I'm still a dumbass

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

hey, do you remember how everyone always used to make fun of redheads when we were youngsters?

As the token freckled redhead in the class, yes, I remember that very well.

[King Bob On The Cob]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Blonde-red, for sure.

But it has to be undeniably red - not a iffy sort of red.

Oh yeah. Freckles. Gotta have freckles.

I want the total package.

There's no way I'm going to settle for anything less. I've got too much time invested in the search.

Hmmm... That's quite the conundrum you've fallen into...
But seeing as I grew up in a family of red-headed girls (Got two sisters, both red-heads), and plus (I regret not jumping on it now), a pretty redhead (who always wore skirts) had a pretty big crush on me. (Reason I didn't go for her was because my friends didn't like her as she was... how do you put it, promiscuous?), I no longer have the red head desire and no longer feel your pain.

[Doofy]

Where's the equality? Redhead women grow up to be desired by Spliffy. Redhead blokes are still shunned (i.e. they're not "tall dark and handsome").

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Doofy

Where's the equality? Redhead women grow up to be desired by Spliffy. Redhead blokes are still shunned (i.e. they're not "tall dark and handsome").

Hear, hear!

Although, to be fair, I do know of several guys who have a thing for red-haired, freckled blokes, too. Wish there were a bit more of them in my geographical proximity, though.

[Spliffdaddy]

Originally Posted by Oisín

Hear, hear!

Although, to be fair, I do know of several guys who have a thing for red-haired, freckled blokes, too. Wish there were a bit more of them in my geographical proximity, though.

I'm sure that, somewhere, there's a 30-something hairy neo-con redneck who's been searching for somebody exactly like yourself - for years.

It'll be worth the wait...for him anyways.

[Spliffdaddy]

Yessiree. Some lucky redhead will eventually run across this 30-something hairy neocon redneck - and her life will be changed forever.

Poor girl.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Oisín

Although, to be fair, I do know of several guys who have a thing for red-haired, freckled blokes, too.

I was speaking in a non-bumsex kind of way.
It seems that northern white women don't tend to find redhead blokes as attractive as the standard "tall, dark and handsome" ones.

However, there's an upside to this. It seems that the darker women (i.e. South American / Iberian types) seem to prefer lighter blokes. I guess they have a "tall, light and handsome" cliche thing going on down south.

Since I'm light (almost redhead) and prefer dark, this works out well for me.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

I'm sure that, somewhere, there's a 30-something hairy neo-con redneck who's been searching for somebody exactly like yourself - for years.

Ah, if only there were a less-than-30-something non-hairy non-redneck somewhere searching for me as well

It'll be worth the wait...for him anyways.

I shall choose to take this as a compliment, and thank you for it