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the Ex.
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boy8cookie
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Apr 13, 2010, 01:25 AM
 
I've been really depressed lately, having just broken up with a girl I'd been seeing for the last 6 months. This girl was really the first girl I've truly loved, and I let myself get emotionally invested in the relationship (mistake) so I've been pretty down since we broke up. In an attempt to get over her, and to make her at least a fraction as miserable as I have been, I'm thinking of doing some evil things...

Ideas I'm contemplating:
- Put her personal, and work emails in every "send me spam" form on the internet.
- Submit her resume to some "special" jobs in the area (with my name as a reference?).
- Post sex videos taken with my iPhone on some porn websites, then send the links to her dad.
- Make a website dedicated to defaming her.
- Send a message to everyone of her friends on Facebook (from her account) stating her disgust for them as a person, then delete everyone of her friends.
- Setup a bot to send passive aggressive messages every 15 minutes to her phone via SMS.
- Let the air out of her tires & soap the windows.
- Strangle her and dump her body in the ocean (in the deep, anchored, of course).
- Buy her a puppy, anonymously, but infect it with an incurable disease, so it dies a few weeks after she gets it.
- Punch her in the face.
- Bang her room mate, record it on my iPhone and send it to her via MMS.

That's it for now. Thoughts?

I feel a little better now.
     
Lateralus
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Apr 13, 2010, 01:42 AM
 
...yeah, I don't think any of those things are good ideas.
I like chicken
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Meow Mix, Meow Mix
Please de-liv-er
     
Captain Obvious
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Apr 13, 2010, 01:47 AM
 
6 months?

Pff

At least Cash had a real investment in his car wreck so that we felt a little bad it went south. You on the other hand are just being a chick about this kinda sorta but not really a legitimate adult relationship.

Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
     
BlueSky
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Apr 13, 2010, 02:13 AM
 
It wasn't love, it was infatuation and apparently the first in a long line of such entanglements if your cookie-pooping ass doesn't grow up quick.
     
phantomdragonz
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Apr 13, 2010, 02:28 AM
 
6 months!

I know you are relatively young, and honestly 6 months is literally nothing... you were dating... far different then being in love...

I know you probably feel like its the end of the world, but in time that will fade.

it takes probably 1-1.5 years to find out if you truely love someone... and 3 years to discover if you can spend a significant amount of time with the person... just my guess, but I think thats reasonable.

Dont do anything to her, just move on...

-Zach
     
iMOTOR
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Apr 13, 2010, 03:23 AM
 
Originally Posted by boy8cookie View Post
- Post sex videos taken with my iPhone on some porn websites, then send the links to her dad.
Fail.
     
Spheric Harlot
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Apr 13, 2010, 04:16 AM
 
I've always wondered how on earth that happens if they're not actually stolen from lost/hacked hardware.
     
Doofy
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Apr 13, 2010, 04:31 AM
 
Originally Posted by boy8cookie View Post
- Put her personal, and work emails in every "send me spam" form on the internet.
- Submit her resume to some "special" jobs in the area (with my name as a reference?).
- Post sex videos taken with my iPhone on some porn websites, then send the links to her dad.
- Make a website dedicated to defaming her.
- Send a message to everyone of her friends on Facebook (from her account) stating her disgust for them as a person, then delete everyone of her friends.
- Setup a bot to send passive aggressive messages every 15 minutes to her phone via SMS.
- Let the air out of her tires & soap the windows.
- Strangle her and dump her body in the ocean (in the deep, anchored, of course).
- Buy her a puppy, anonymously, but infect it with an incurable disease, so it dies a few weeks after she gets it.
- Punch her in the face.
- Bang her room mate, record it on my iPhone and send it to her via MMS.
Or, you could bypass all that and just go find yourself a better looking chick with bigger tits. Which will annoy your ex way more than any of the above anyway.
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
torsoboy
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Apr 13, 2010, 04:50 AM
 
I am fairly certain that even considering doing those things to her confirms that you do not love her. You wouldn't want to hurt her, if you were in love with her. You can't love someone one day, and then hate them the next... falling in love takes time, and falling out of love takes time as well.
     
Big Mac
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Apr 13, 2010, 06:00 AM
 
What did your Ex do to inspire all that animus in you, b8c? As others have said, if you really love/loved her, I don't understand why you would want to do anything to hurt her. If you had any feelings of love for her, you should want the best for her even if the two of you aren't together.

Now if she cheated on you or broke your heart in a really evil way, I could understand your feelings. But if the relationship just ended in an upfront, civil manner, then you should be grateful for the time you had together and for the fact that you now have a new opportunity to find an even better match for yourself.

"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." TJ
     
Railroader
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Apr 13, 2010, 06:58 AM
 
OP----> C r e e p y !!!




PS: Doofy is 100% right.



(as usual)
     
ghporter
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Apr 13, 2010, 07:16 AM
 
If you actually "really loved" her, why are you contemplating a list of extremely childish ways to "get back at her?" Follow Doofy's advice, or just go your own way.

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
dcmacdaddy
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Apr 13, 2010, 08:01 AM
 
Or you could just own up to the fact that life isn't perfect and stop worrying about an ex and go ahead and get on with your own life. How about that idea, eh.
One should never stop striving for clarity of thought and precision of expression.
I would prefer my humanity sullied with the tarnish of science rather than the gloss of religion.
     
dcmacdaddy
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Apr 13, 2010, 08:03 AM
 
Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
6 months?

Pff

At least Cash had a real investment in his car wreck so that we felt a little bad it went south. You on the other hand are just being a chick about this kinda sorta but not really a legitimate adult relationship.
Truth!
One should never stop striving for clarity of thought and precision of expression.
I would prefer my humanity sullied with the tarnish of science rather than the gloss of religion.
     
OreoCookie
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Apr 13, 2010, 08:10 AM
 
It's childish to proclaim that getting invested in a relationship is a mistake. And it's childish that you're trying to get back at your ex gf. Drill into your head that she doesn't want you anymore and look for someone new when you're ready. Convert your negative energy into something positive: do sports, for example.

Besides, 6 months isn't all that long, after 6 months you start with the real relationship (being in love with someone ---> loving someone).
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
     
voodoo
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Apr 13, 2010, 08:32 AM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Or, you could bypass all that and just go find yourself a better looking chick with bigger tits. Which will annoy your ex way more than any of the above anyway.
Never fails
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Atheist
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Apr 13, 2010, 09:07 AM
 
Who the hell ever said life was easy or fair. Move on and quit being a baby.

And to reiterate what others have said; if you really loved her you wouldn't seriously consider doing any of those things to her. Revenge is childish.
     
Laminar
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Apr 13, 2010, 09:16 AM
 
In b4 allwomenarewhores.
     
voodoo
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Apr 13, 2010, 10:49 AM
 
Originally Posted by Atheist View Post
Revenge is childish.
Revenge is best served.. cold.
I could take Sean Connery in a fight... I could definitely take him.
     
Sealobo
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Apr 13, 2010, 10:57 AM
 
please let me inspect the sex video first and see if they're worthwhile. maybe i could find out the reason why the girl is no longer with you.
     
King Bob On The Cob
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Apr 13, 2010, 11:00 AM
 
Originally Posted by Sealobo View Post
please let me inspect the sex video first and see if they're worthwhile. maybe i could find out the reason why the girl is no longer with you.
Technically, if he joined the forum when he was 10, it could be child pornography.
     
nonhuman
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Apr 13, 2010, 11:03 AM
 
Originally Posted by King Bob On The Cob View Post
Technically, if he joined the forum when he was 10, it could be child pornography.
But COPA requires that you be 13 before you can use the internet!
     
boy8cookie  (op)
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Apr 13, 2010, 11:26 AM
 
Jeez folks, I wasn't truly considering these acts, just venting. Thank you, though, for the words of wisdom. It felt good just to get it out, I'd never actually do any of these things to her - I'm somewhat sane. I was hoping others would have fun with the idea of revenge and come up with some creative suggestions. Why so serious?
     
Lateralus
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Apr 13, 2010, 11:38 AM
 
Because the internet isn't the best medium for transparent sarcasm.
I like chicken
I like liver
Meow Mix, Meow Mix
Please de-liv-er
     
imitchellg5
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Apr 13, 2010, 11:51 AM
 
Also, the Eff Bee Eye reads it.
     
downinflames68
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Apr 13, 2010, 12:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Or, you could bypass all that and just go find yourself a better looking chick with bigger tits. Which will annoy your ex way more than any of the above anyway.
Maybe THATS why my ex hates me. I upgraded from grade "meh" C's to incredible D's.
     
downinflames68
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Apr 13, 2010, 12:04 PM
 
Originally Posted by boy8cookie View Post
Jeez folks, I wasn't truly considering these acts, just venting. Thank you, though, for the words of wisdom. It felt good just to get it out, I'd never actually do any of these things to her - I'm somewhat sane. I was hoping others would have fun with the idea of revenge and come up with some creative suggestions. Why so serious?
I think you should crash your car and buy another new one. That would show her.
     
downinflames68
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Apr 13, 2010, 12:07 PM
 
Originally Posted by torsoboy View Post
I am fairly certain that even considering doing those things to her confirms that you do not love her. You wouldn't want to hurt her, if you were in love with her. You can't love someone one day, and then hate them the next... falling in love takes time, and falling out of love takes time as well.
How long does it take? I still have dreams about my ex like every night. It totally blows, and it's been like a year.
     
boy8cookie  (op)
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Apr 13, 2010, 12:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by imitchellg5 View Post
Also, the Eff Bee Eye reads it.
I know.
     
boy8cookie  (op)
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Apr 13, 2010, 12:27 PM
 
Originally Posted by downinflames68 View Post
I think you should crash your car and buy another new one. That would show her.
Yeah, maybe, those new hummers do look really nice.
     
sek929
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Apr 13, 2010, 12:39 PM
 
Doing anything shows you still care, simply ignoring her existence is the only way to go.

I'd call her, then when she answered say "Oops, I was trying to call the other (insert her name), sorry." Then hang up.

Who knows, ignoring her enough might end up with her in your bed in the future.
     
Rumor
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Apr 13, 2010, 01:18 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
Or, you could bypass all that and just go find yourself a better looking chick with bigger tits. Which will annoy your ex way more than any of the above anyway.
I agree. Though I still think banging her roommate is a good idea if she is hot.
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
cjrivera
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Apr 13, 2010, 01:37 PM
 
Originally Posted by voodoo View Post
Revenge is best served.. cold.
... it is very cold in space.

"It's weird the way 'finger puppets' sounds ok as a noun..."
     
ort888
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Apr 13, 2010, 02:18 PM
 
The puppy is a good idea, but you should put a small explosive device into it rather than giving it an illness.

Wait a few weeks and pop that puppy. Literally.

My sig is 1 pixel too big.
     
paul w
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Apr 13, 2010, 02:37 PM
 
Originally Posted by boy8cookie View Post
- Buy her a puppy, anonymously, but infect it with an incurable disease, so it dies a few weeks after she gets it.
Ok, I laughed.
     
The Final Dakar
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Apr 13, 2010, 02:39 PM
 
You could give her AIDS.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Apr 13, 2010, 02:44 PM
 
Tell her you're pregnant.

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imitchellg5
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Apr 13, 2010, 03:11 PM
 
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey View Post
Tell her you're pregnant.
This. /thread
     
finboy
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Apr 13, 2010, 03:35 PM
 
Originally Posted by Lateralus View Post
...yeah, I don't think any of those things are good ideas.
Gosh, I remember junior high school...

BTW, the puppy thing is just plain sick. I suggest counseling.
     
Buckaroo
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Apr 13, 2010, 07:37 PM
 
I also agree with Doofy and Railroader, find a girl with HUGE honkers.




Originally Posted by Railroader View Post
OP----> C r e e p y !!!




PS: Doofy is 100% right.



(as usual)
     
DrTacoMD
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Apr 13, 2010, 08:27 PM
 
Another vote for Doofy's idea. I've done that one before -- it's crazy satisfying. The problem with the plan is that you have to keep finding girls with bigger and bigger ta-tas to get over the previous girl.

Wait, did I say problem? I meant AWESOME. Yeah.

Originally Posted by boy8cookie View Post
Yeah, maybe, those new hummers do look really nice.
That's what she said, hur hur.
Trust me. I'm a Taco.
     
boy8cookie  (op)
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Apr 13, 2010, 11:43 PM
 
The roommate isn't really hot, but she is a slut, so I can definitely make that happen.
     
downinflames68
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Apr 14, 2010, 01:38 AM
 
If she's worth anything "upstairs", sleeping with her roommate will only make her think less of you. Really, just get a new girlfriend and "live well".
     
Captain Obvious
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Apr 14, 2010, 02:32 AM
 
Originally Posted by boy8cookie View Post
The roommate isn't really hot, but she is a slut, so I can definitely make that happen.
Which I would be all on board with if not for the fact that you haven't said what she did to you.

I mean if she acted like a complete Cody and treated you like shit then you'd be within your rights to get even in a non criminal way.

But if all she did was just pull the plug then you'd be the one in the wrong.

Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
     
Kerrigan
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Apr 19, 2010, 02:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by downinflames68 View Post
How long does it take? I still have dreams about my ex like every night. It totally blows, and it's been like a year.
Who knows. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend of 6 years (we're both guys). We spent every waking minute together for more than a year -- eating dinner, hooking up, going out, etc. I'll never stop thinking about him.
     
olePigeon
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Apr 19, 2010, 02:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
I mean if she acted like a complete Cody...
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