[Cody Dawg]

This girl is the girlfriend of a teenager (Ludwig) who shot her parents then ran off with her. There was a nationwide hunt for them, specifically because authorities thought that he had kidnapped her and she had not gone with him willingly.

However, now it appears that she did willingly go with him:

(CNN) -- A 14-year-old Pennsylvania girl saw her boyfriend kill her father, then fled the scene with the 18-year-old to "get as far away as possible, get married and start a new life," prosecutors alleged in court papers filed Monday.

Lancaster County District Attorney Donald Totaro said the kidnapping charge against 18-year-old David Ludwig would be dropped but prosecutors will pursue two counts of homicide in the killings of Michael and Cathryn Borden, who were shot in their Lancaster, Pennsylvania, home in the early hours of November 13.

The court documents released Monday gave new information about the prosecution's case.

"It was an intentional murder. I intended to shoot them, and I did," Ludwig told a detective after his capture on November 14, the documents state.

The papers were filed in response to a defense motion to produce the evidence against Ludwig, who was sent back to Pennsylvania after his arrest in Indiana.

He is being held in the Lancaster County jail awaiting a preliminary hearing.

According to authorities, Ludwig and Michael Borden got into a 30- to 45-minute argument in which the father said Ludwig was no longer allowed to see his 14-year-old daughter, Kara. Ludwig told authorities he went to the home armed with multiple weapons, according to the court papers.

The girl "observed the defendant pull out a gun and shoot her father," the document says. "As she fled from the house, [she] then saw the defendant turn and point his gun towards her mother."

The affidavit also says that Kara told a Lancaster County sheriff's detective "at no time did the defendant force her to go with him after he shot and killed her parents. Rather, she acknowledged going with him 'of her own free will.' "

Prosecutors allege that Kara told Ludwig that "she wanted to stay with him, and they drove west with the intent to 'get as far away as possible, get married and start a new life.' "

Ludwig allegedly told authorities he decided to shoot his girlfriend's parents when the father said he could no longer see Kara. He told authorities he "drew the pistol and shot her dad in the back as he was going down the hallway to the front door."

"I pulled the gun when I stood up, took two steps down the hallway and fired. His back was towards me," Ludwig is quoted as saying. He then said he went to the living room and shot Cathryn Borden as "she was sitting in the chair," according to the court documents.

He told authorities he couldn't find Kara immediately after the shootings and drove around briefly looking for her. He went about 15 feet before he saw Kara "running down the road towards him," the court papers say.

The fugitive couple were eventually found in Indiana nearly 600 miles from their homes after a high-speed chase. Inside his father's 1998 red Volkswagen Jetta, authorities retrieved a .40-caliber Glock semiautomatic pistol that Ludwig said he used in the killings, according to an affidavit from Indiana prosecutors.

The Pennsylvania affidavit stated that Kara's sister, Katelyn, also witnessed her father's death. She locked herself in the bathroom after Ludwig opened fire, police said.

Kara's 9-year-old brother, David, also was in the home and ran to a neighbor's house to summon help, police said last week.

Indiana police found two other guns along with the Glock that investigators said was used to kill the Bordens -- a Ruger .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol and a Ruger .223-caliber mini-rifle -- and ammunition inside the car. A second search two days later also turned up a Colt .45-caliber pistol, 45 bullets and a holster, the documents state.

So, what do they charge her with? Can they charge her with something? What? Apparently she's now at home with her family's relatives.

Personally, I think they need to arrest her and put her in jail and throw the book at her.

[Peter]

MacNN has other forum sections too you know..

[demograph68]

They should drain her of her precious blood and let me bath in it. Their is no alternative to that if we want true justice.

[Thorin]

Incredibly poor judgement? Allowing herself to be influenced by somebody 4 years her senior when she's at an incredibly impressionable age?

If the article is accurate, then she isn't an accomplice to murder, she's a witness to murder.

Why are you asking us what she should be charged with, you think she should be arrested, you tell us what you think she should be charged with.

[AKcrab]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

[IMG]So, what do they charge her with? Can they charge her with something? What?

Personally, I think they need to arrest her and put her in jail and throw the book at her.

But you don't even know what/if she did anything wrong. You want to arrest her/throw the book at her for what? Aiding And Abetting?

Psycho boy came from a home with 54 guns in the house, and had made a video about some sort of hostile takeover. The problem is NOT the 14 year old girl.

[OldManMac]

Originally Posted by AKcrab

But you don't even know what/if she did anything wrong. You want to arrest her/throw the book at her for what? Aiding And Abetting?

Psycho boy came from a home with 54 guns in the house, and had made a video about some sort of hostile takeover. The problem is NOT the 14 year old girl.

Exactly. Jump to conclusions, why don't you? She went with him willingly, after he had already killed her parents. Apparently she was not involved in the killings, and if she was, that should come out in the investigation. In the meantime, chill out and stick with the facts as we know them.

On a lighter note: what should we do with the State of Texas?
Here's where a wrong was done, and, since you like to jump to conclusions, allow me to conclude that you probably would have screamed for this guy's head on a platter back then.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...print/asection

Witness Clears Man Executed In Texas for 1985 Slaying
Associated Press
Tuesday, November 22, 2005; A02


HOUSTON -- A decade after Ruben Cantu was executed for capital murder, the only witness to the crime is recanting and his co-defendant says Cantu, then 17, was not even with him that night.

The victim was shot nine times with a rifle during an attempted robbery before the gunman shot the only witness.

That witness, Juan Moreno, told the Houston Chronicle for its Sunday editions that Cantu was not the killer. Moreno said he identified him at the 1985 trial because he felt pressured and feared authorities.

Cantu, who had maintained his innocence, was executed on Aug. 24, 1993, at age 26. "Texas murdered an innocent person," co-defendant David Garza said.

Sam D. Millsap Jr., the district attorney who handled the case, said he never should have sought the death penalty in a case based on testimony from a witness who identified a suspect only after police showed him a photo three times.

[Cody Dawg]

I'm not sure if my assumptions are correct, that's why I'm asking.

Someone said she had a lapse in "judgement?" "Poor judgement" is why a black man named Stanley Tookie is going to be executed out in California.

I miss Randman. This is the point where he'd say, "Oh, okay, let her off. Pretty young white girl shouldn't have to really pay the price." I think if she were black she'd be sitting in jail. I just think it's wrong that there are different levels of punishment for gender, race, and down here in Florida, she WOULD be arrested by now.

[production_coordinator]

We simply don't have enough information to even start speculating what should be done with her.

Questions I would want answered before even considering her future:
- Did she know that the boyfriend had a gun?
- Did the parents know the boy was dangerous?
- Has the boy ever been in trouble with the law before?
- Did she know that the boyfriend intended to kill the parents?
- What was the relationship like with the parents?
- What was the relationship like between the girl and the guy?

Without those fundamental questions answered, everything is pure speculation based on over-hyped media.

[Cody Dawg]

Questions I would want answered before even considering her future:
- Did she know that the boyfriend had a gun? Yes.
- Did the parents know the boy was dangerous? Yes.
- Has the boy ever been in trouble with the law before? Yes. With another girl the year before.
- Did she know that the boyfriend intended to kill the parents? Yes. He had complete plans to kill them.
- What was the relationship like with the parents? Bad - they knew he was a) Overaged b) Dangerous c) They asked him to leave their daugher alone
- What was the relationship like between the girl and the guy? Obviously bad - they knew that he was going to kill her parents. Dad and mom were right about this kid being bad news and that's why they told their daughter that she couldn't see him anymore.

She apparently was in on the idea of cooking up a pretend home-robbery/invasion style altercation with his friend (the three of them) and the end result was going to be that her parents were shot and killed.

But, Ludwig lost his temper and shot her parents flat out instead in a confrontation.

[production_coordinator]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

She apparently was in on the idea of cooking up a pretend home-robbery/invasion style altercation with his friend (the three of them) and the end result was going to be that her parents were shot and killed.

But, Ludwig lost his temper and shot her parents flat out instead in a confrontation.

Very sad... that being said, I would want to know specifics. It's also not fair to throw the book at everyone that is 14. It's a little different when the person is older, but at 14, most kids are at varying levels of maturity.

[demograph68]

At least her parents won't have to worry about putting her through college.

P.S. I love these threads.

[Cody Dawg]

It's also not fair to throw the book at everyone that is 14. It's a little different when the person is older, but at 14, most kids are at varying levels of maturity.

What if she was a teenaged boy?

And black?

Seriously, think about that. I think the standard for her behavior would be different.

The prisons are full of kids.

Read this.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

Very sad... that being said, I would want to know specifics.

Yup. What I'd especially like to know, is what her relationship with her parents was like(especially if she knew about her "boyfriend's" plans). How much must she have actually hated her parents for her to go through with this?! (Even with puberty and all)

[demograph68]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

And black?

I like where this is going...

[Cody Dawg]

Well, it's true. Young black men are treated the worst in the criminal justice system. I think "guilty until proven innocent" is the way that the legal system perceives and treats them. And it's sad and wrong.

But, okay, leaving race out of it, let's assume for a second that she is a 14-year old WHITE youth - just like the boyfriend who is 18 and white. The two boys shoot and kill a mom and dad in cold blood then take off in a car. There is a high speed chase, but they are eventually caught.

Think he'd be at his mom's sister's home hanging out? NO WAY. They'd have hauled his butt off to jail by now. But she's in the comfort of her family's home instead. She should be in jail.

[wdlove]

A very sad case all around. Ludwig needs to be tried as an adult. If found guilty, never see the light of day again. No punishment on Earth can fit such a heinous crime. Would need more information on the girl, but it seems that he life is ruined.

[production_coordinator]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

What if she was a teenaged boy?

And black?

Seriously, think about that. I think the standard for her behavior would be different.

The prisons are full of kids.

Read this.

If she were a teenage boy in rural Pennsylvania without any prior encounters with the police... I don't think I would have changed my opinion.

[Mastrap]

Since when is a witness to murder an accomplice to murder?

[Cody Dawg]

Since she planned the murder with Ludwig?

If things had gone the way they planned then there would have been a fake home invasion and the parents would have been killed in a fake robbery. Apparently the girl was in on the whole thing.

Now, do I think lock her up for life and throw away the key? No. But she definitely needs to do some time.

What I think is sad is that this kid (Ludwig) was such a bad influence. This girl was raised a Christian (supposedly - according to the minister of her church) and the parents were good people. It's really sad.

[production_coordinator]

Originally Posted by Mastrap

Since when is a witness to murder an accomplice to murder?

If you know that a murder is about to happen... and do nothing... you are an accomplice.

If you see someone shot on the street (and had no prior knowledge that it was about to happen)... you are a witness.

[waxcrash]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Since she planned the murder with Ludwig?

If things had gone the way they planned then there would have been a fake home invasion and the parents would have been killed in a fake robbery. Apparently the girl was in on the whole thing.

Please support your theory with proof.

[Cody Dawg]

Here ya go:

Officials say girl fled with suspect

A Lititz teen is accused of killing his girlfriend's parents. A kidnapping charge is to be dropped.

By Natalie Pompilio

Inquirer Staff Writer

Kara Beth Borden willingly left with her 18-year-old boyfriend after he killed her parents, planning to "get as far away as possible, get married, and start a new life," according to court documents filed yesterday in Lancaster County.

Authorities originally had thought that the 14-year-old Lititz girl had been abducted, possibly at gunpoint. They issued an Amber Alert immediately after the Nov. 13 slayings.

But Borden told police she went with David Ludwig of her own free will, the documents said. Ludwig told detectives he started to drive away after shooting Borden's parents, but stopped when he saw the girl running down the road toward him. She climbed into the red Volkswagen Jetta and the pair sped away, according to the filing.

Borden told Ludwig "she wanted to stay with him, and they drove west with the intent to 'get as far away as possible, get married, and start a new life,' " Ludwig told detectives.

They drove nearly 600 miles from the murder scene in central Pennsylvania to Belleville, Ind., where police intercepted them Nov. 14 after Ludwig crashed the car during a chase.

Ludwig, also of Lititz, was charged with murder and kidnapping, although his attorneys maintained that surveillance video from the teens' flight would prove Borden had not been kidnapped. Borden has been treated as a victim of the crime. Police say the investigation is continuing.

The kidnapping charge against Ludwig will be dropped at his preliminary hearing next month, Lancaster County District Attorney Donald Totaro said last night.

Robert Beyer, an attorney representing Borden, said he was not upset by the news that the kidnapping charge would be dropped. A spokesman for the Borden family said last night they would have no comment.

Borden and Ludwig met in May through a home-schooling network for Christian families, Borden's sister told police. A friend of Ludwig's told police the couple had a secret sexual relationship and they communicated through cell-phone text messages and computer instant messages.

In a signed statement he gave to Pennsylvania authorities, Ludwig said he was armed when he went to the Borden home Nov. 13. He shot Michael Borden in the back after a heated discussion that ended with the father telling him he could no longer see his daughter. Ludwig said he shot Cathryn Borden as she sat in a chair.

"It was an intentional murder. I intended to shoot them, and I did," Ludwig was quoted as telling detectives.

Besides Kara Beth Borden, two other Borden children were at home when the slayings occurred. David, 9, and Katelyn, 13, ran to a neighbor's house.

The Bordens were slain with a .40-caliber handgun. Indiana authorities recovered a .40-caliber Glock pistol, a .223-caliber rifle, and a .45-caliber Colt pistol from Ludwig's car.

Police also seized 54 guns from the home where Ludwig lived with his parents, according to court documents. The weapons included rifles, shotguns and handguns, with ammunition.

They also found a video on Ludwig's laptop computer in which he discusses plans to conduct an armed raid on the family's home. The plot was canceled because of traffic, police said.

The funeral for Michael and Cathryn Borden, both 50, was held Saturday at Lancaster Bible College. Kara Beth Borden attended services with her four siblings.

The Court Filing

Excerpts from a court filing yesterday by Lancaster County District Attorney Donald Totaro in the case of David Ludwig. References to 14-year-old Kara Beth Borden were left blank, but are included in parentheses here.

• "During an interview with David Ludwig after he was taken into custody, the defendant informed Lancaster County detective Joseph P. Geesey that after killing Mr. & Mrs. Borden, he was not able to find (Kara Beth)... . After traveling about 15 feet, the defendant saw (Kara Beth) running down the road towards him. Ludwig then opened the door, and (Kara Beth) got into the car. (Kara Beth) told the defendant that she wanted to stay with him, and they drove west with the intent to 'get as far away as possible, get married, and start a new life.'

"According to a statement provided by (Kara Beth) to Detective Geesey, following her return to Lancaster County, at no time did the defendant force her to go with him... ."

• Ludwig gave detectives a signed statement "that he went over to the Borden residence armed with several weapons. After talking for 30-45 minutes, Mr. Borden informed the defendant that he was no longer permitted to see (Kara Beth). For that reason, the defendant 'decided to shoot her dad and her mom.' Ludwig explained to Detective Geesey that he 'drew the pistol and shot her dad in the back as he was going down the hallway to the front door. I was behind him, I may have taken two steps towards him. I pulled the gun when I stood up, took two steps down the hallway and fired. His back was towards me.' The defendant continued by stating that he 'turned and stepped back down the hallway back into the living room. I took about two steps into the living room. I shot mom as she was sitting in the chair.' Finally, David Ludwig informed Detective Geesey that 'it was an intentional murder, I intended to shoot them, and I did.' "

[production_coordinator]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Since she planned the murder with Ludwig?

If things had gone the way they planned then there would have been a fake home invasion and the parents would have been killed in a fake robbery. Apparently the girl was in on the whole thing.

Now, do I think lock her up for life and throw away the key? No. But she definitely needs to do some time.

What I think is sad is that this kid (Ludwig) was such a bad influence. This girl was raised a Christian (supposedly - according to the minister of her church) and the parents were good people. It's really sad.

What exactly will locking a 14 year old girl up do? She needs treatment... and if that doesn't work, THEN lock her up.

Let me guess... you are getting the description of the parents as "good people" from the neighbors and their priest.

[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

She apparently was in on the idea of cooking up a pretend home-robbery/invasion style altercation with his friend (the three of them) and the end result was going to be that her parents were shot and killed.

But, Ludwig lost his temper and shot her parents flat out instead in a confrontation.

Both are still children and hence need to be handled differently than adults committing a similar crime. With that in mind, they first need to understand what she has done and then punish them as juveniles.

[cpt kangarooski]

production_coordinator--

If you know that a murder is about to happen... and do nothing... you are an accomplice.

That's incorrect. In order to be an accomplice to a crime you have to either take some action advancing the crime, or owe the victim a duty to protect them but not do so. (There is also a mens rea requirement, but that's outside the scope of this post)

While even minor actions will suffice, e.g. encouraging the principal criminal, you still have to do something. However, people generally don't owe relevant duties to one another. If you see a stranger being murdered in the street next to you, you are not required to lift a finger to help them, as a rule. You don't have to try to intervene, you don't have to call the police, etc. You can just sit there and you're ok. Maybe you're not a good person, but you aren't breaking the law.

[Kr0nos]

Borden and Ludwig met in May through a home-schooling network for Christian families, Borden's sister told police. A friend of Ludwig's told police the couple had a secret sexual relationship and they communicated through cell-phone text messages and computer instant messages.

Thanks, that's all I needed to know.

I wonder if Lourdes and her boyfriend will ever attempt to kill Guy Ritchie and drive off into the sunset. I doubt it.

[waxcrash]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Here ya go:

<SNIP>

Please show me where it says…

1) She was involved with the plan to the murder her parents

2) They planned a fake home invasion/robbery to cover the murder

[Cody Dawg]

You didn't read the part where they were going to rob her home?

Her OWN home? Would that then be a "real" home invasion vs. a "fake" home invasion?

How does a person rob their own home? If they do is it a "real" home invasion or robbery?

[production_coordinator]

Borden and Ludwig met in May through a home-schooling network for Christian families, Borden's sister told police. A friend of Ludwig's told police the couple had a secret sexual relationship and they communicated through cell-phone text messages and computer instant messages.

Unsupervised cell phone for a 14 year old... NOT a good parenting move IMHO.

YOU DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILD A CELL PHONE WHEN THEY ARE 14... you let them borrow the "extra" one you own. The same goes for cars and 16 year old kids... Again, your opinion may vary...

[waxcrash]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

You didn't read the part where they were going to rob her home?

Her OWN home? Would that then be a "real" home invasion vs. a "fake" home invasion?

How does a person rob their own home? If they do is it a "real" home invasion or robbery?

You jump to too many conclusions. They found a video on Ludwig's computer where he discusses plans to conduct an armed raid on the family home and from that you conclude he planned to stage a fake robbery and that the girl is involved with the plan too?

[Cody Dawg]

Unsupervised cell phone for a 14 year old... NOT a good parenting move IMHO.

YOU DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILD A CELL PHONE WHEN THEY ARE 14... you let them borrow the "extra" one you own. The same goes for cars and 16 year old kids... Again, your opinion may vary...

Yes, you're absolutely correct. It's right up there with unsupervised internet access, including violent gaming, for children.

[Kr0nos]

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

Unsupervised cell phone for a 14 year old... NOT a good parenting move IMHO.

Are you serious? Most kids I see around here that are that age all have cell phones. Doesn't seem unusual to me at all.

[waxcrash]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

It's right up there with… violent gaming, for children.

Thank you Jack "Cody Dawg" Thompson.

[Cody Dawg]

Oh, I'm sure that you, waxcrash, are for violent gaming for children?



Come to think of it, you're probably a product of that, so sorry.

[Scifience]

I've had a cell phone of my own since I was 13, and unsupervised access to the 'Net since I was 10. So far, the most trouble I've gotten into is buying a bunch of junk with my 'college' money.

[Cody Dawg]

I bought my 12 year old a cell phone last year. But he's only allowed to use it when I give it to him to use. For instance, if he's going over to a friend's house, or on a school field trip, etc. He doesn't have it to just chat with friends whenever he feels like.

He also plays Runescape (he's addicted to it), but I know about it and he plays online here in the same room where I have my desk and do my work.

He's a straight A honor student and knows that he has boundaries. Sometimes we have a few issues with it, but not often. It's supervised and limited. I guess it depends on the child and the situation.

I do check his emails, though, to make sure there aren't any weirdos emailing him.

[teknopimp]

the phrase "five minutes alone" comes to mind.

[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Yes, you're absolutely correct. It's right up there with unsupervised internet access, including violent gaming, for children.

Nonsense, that has nothing to do with it. Thousands of young people have cell phones, and just because they used it to send messages to each other does not imply its the culprit here. Nor did it contribute.

[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

I do check his emails, though, to make sure there aren't any weirdos emailing him.

That's very disrespectful. Especially if your kid is already 12.

[Chuckit]

She should be put in a psychiatric hospital. The girl is clearly unwell. But she didn't commit any crime, so they can't really "do" any more with her.

[Jim Paradise]

Originally Posted by demograph68

They should drain her of her precious blood and let me bath in it. Their is no alternative to that if we want true justice.

[Cody Dawg]

No, it's not. It's MY computer, OreoCookie.

That's the kind of mentality that says that kids should just do what they want. I don't read all of his emails, but I do note who it is that is sending them. For instance, he was getting porn advertisements in his email box. Think that's okay OreoCookie? Apparently you do because your thinking says that I should never have gone into his email and then he would have been subjected to, "Asian girls sucking XXXXX XXXX" with graphic pictures - that's exactly what I caught on his InBox.

Your comment actually made me laugh. I wonder if you have kids? It's a compromise - and he knows that I sometimes go in and out of the email also. Again, it's my computer, not his. If he were 16 then I'd try to respect his privacy, but he's TWELVE.

[goMac]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

I miss Randman. This is the point where he'd say, "Oh, okay, let her off. Pretty young white girl shouldn't have to really pay the price." I think if she were black she'd be sitting in jail. I just think it's wrong that there are different levels of punishment for gender, race, and down here in Florida, she WOULD be arrested by now.

The problem isn't that a pretty young white girl can get away with it. The problem is the black girl shouldn't be in jail for this either.

She's 14. There is a reason you can't be legally an adult until 18. She doesn't have good judgement. She's impressionable. I'm more worried about how this will affect her mental health for the rest of her life then her helping murder people. Don't lock this girl up, get her into treatment, get her with family that cares.

[goMac]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

I do check his emails, though, to make sure there aren't any weirdos emailing him.

Huh? This is a horrible system. I didn't have an email account until I was 13. My mother wouldn't let me, for fear of the wierdos. The problem was the first thing my friends did was set me up with an email account at Yahoo (this is when the first free email services were starting). My mother never even knew, and it wasn't like I was using it for evil purposes anyway. My classmates couldn't email classwork unless I had an email account.

[demograph68]

Do you spy on him masturbating too? If I was him I would simply change my password and then you'd be sol. And let's not get into blaming video game violence. I am the product of years of mortal kombat and resident evil and look at me now. I am a serial killer by heart. Thanks Midway!

[Mastrap]

Cody, I suspect that by now your son has an email account that you know nothing about.

I understand your desire to protect him, but spying on your kids does not really build a relationship that's based on trust IMO.

[production_coordinator]

Originally Posted by OreoCookie

Nonsense, that has nothing to do with it. Thousands of young people have cell phones, and just because they used it to send messages to each other does not imply its the culprit here. Nor did it contribute.

I couldn't disagree more. When you give your children unsupervised access to ANY form of communication (snail mail, phone, cell phone, IM, email, etc. etc.)... you are opening the door for SERIOUS trouble. The parent should be the firewall to the world.

Nobody is blaming the cell phone [the hunk of plastic and electronics] for the death... I was blaming the unsupervised usage of a cell phone for potentially taking a bad situation and making it MUCH worse.

[wdlove]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

No, it's not. It's MY computer, OreoCookie.

That's the kind of mentality that says that kids should just do what they want. I don't read all of his emails, but I do note who it is that is sending them. For instance, he was getting porn advertisements in his email box. Think that's okay OreoCookie? Apparently you do because your thinking says that I should never have gone into his email and then he would have been subjected to, "Asian girls sucking XXXXX XXXX" with graphic pictures - that's exactly what I caught on his InBox.

Your comment actually made me laugh. I wonder if you have kids? It's a compromise - and he knows that I sometimes go in and out of the email also. Again, it's my computer, not his. If he were 16 then I'd try to respect his privacy, but he's TWELVE.

I think that you are an awesome mother Cody. Just shows how much you care.

[demograph68]

COUGHsuckupCOUGH

[Cody Dawg]

Mastrap
I understand your desire to protect him, but spying on your kids does not really build a relationship that's based on trust IMO.

You're absolutely right, Mastrap, and I agree. HOWEVER, I do not "spy" on him. He KNOWS that I check out his email and he knows why. Sometimes I make an offhand joke like, "You aren't getting any sicko emails, are you? If you are let me know, okay?" On the other hand, since he rarely checks his emails, sometimes I go in there to see if his teacher has emailed him about a project or book report or even grades. He knows that I do check the email and why. He's truly okay with it, at least right now. I have no doubt that at some point he won't want me reading his emails, but right now he doesn't mind. We're very, very close. WDLove has been on the telephone with me when I've met him after school. We tell each other that we love each other all of the time. He's one-of-a-kind and really great. I respect him more than anyone can know. He's an amazing kid.

to my son.