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Not as Crap Movies (Page 3)
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Clinically Insane
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Originally Posted by subego
Have you ever seen the movie Dolls?
Since you mentioned it.
Dolls
Schlock late-80s horror from the guy who did Re-Animator. Very tired setup where a bunch of people get trapped overnight in the creepy mansion of an old, wizened doll-maker. Mostly the terrifying porcelain kind.
Needless to say, the dolls start murdering everyone. The best part is when a doll gets its head smashed it has a tiny skull inside.
Way better than it deserves to be. Ultra-creepy. Full disclosure: it’s been 30 years since I’ve seen it so it might not hold up as well as I remember.

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Clinically Insane
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Glass Onion
The satire is far more entertaining than the mystery. Over-reliance on greenscreen makes it feel cheap.
It’s not awful or anything, but it can’t escape the shadow of the first. Lowered expectations are in order.

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Clinically Insane
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The Irishman
No idea why people criticized the length. Likewise, the de-aging didn’t bother me. There is indeed one (rather pivotal) moment where De Niro’s true age betrays him.
Excellent all around, but I think it’s Joe Pesci’s best work.

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Similar thoughts on glass onion. Had to explain the plot of Agatha Christie's "and then there were none" to the kids. Fun twists, but the ending felt a little flat.
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Join Date: Aug 2001
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Originally Posted by subego
Excellent all around, but I think it’s Joe Pesci’s best work.
That’s not a very high bar, for me. Pesci being in it would be a huge reason for me to skip it. I just can’t stand the guy.
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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What if that's the point of his character? He's not usually playing a likeable character.
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Clinically Insane
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
That’s not a very high bar, for me. Pesci being in it would be a huge reason for me to skip it. I just can’t stand the guy.
I more or less agree, especially after seeing the (excellent) musical Jersey Boys and discovering he was a wannabe gangster no one took seriously because he’s such a twerp.
In The Irishman, even though it’s another gangster role, he doesn’t do his normal, overcompensating loudmouth schtick at all. The meat of his performance is subtle changes in facial expression, and it’s riveting.
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Originally Posted by Laminar
What if that's the point of his character? He's not usually playing a likeable character.
It has nothing to do with the character. It’s Pesci’s acting. He’s kind of like one of those little, annoying, yapping dogs, that won’t shut the fuck up. He plays every role (that I’ve seen, anyway) like that, to where the credits should read “Joe Pesci as Himself”.
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Clinically Insane
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
“Joe Pesci as Himself”
Totally agree. What makes him good in this is he’s finally not doing that.
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Clinically Insane
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Coherence
Pinter-like, emotionally abusive dinner party goes into The Twilight Zone. Want to say little else other than it’s fantastic.
Bonus: Xander from Buffy is in it.

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Great call on Coherence, really enjoyed that movie
The Menu
Let’s get it out of the way: the movie doesn’t make a lot of sense from a plot perspective. But come for the miscast Anna Taylor-Joy’s massive peepers, stay for the withering satire on fancy restaurants, art critics, rich people and internet super fans. Sip your fancy $200 bottle of red wine with that signature barnyard funk, ignore the nonsensical plot points, and have a laugh at the expense of even fancier rich people!

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Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
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Clinically Insane
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Originally Posted by benhsaw32
Three-day weekends are typically quite important to people who wish to conserve money. These extended weekends provide many opportunities for financial savings since businesses use the extra day off to offer discounts and other special offers to get people in. The first holiday weekend of this year's MLK Day bargains has us excited to see how much money we can save. Over the first three-day holiday weekend of the year, save money on clothing, home goods, cosmetics, and more by shopping these MLK Day weekend deals.
Poorly paced. Bad CG makes it feel cheap.

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Clinically Insane
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Late to the party for Cabin in the Woods and Looper so I imagine a full review isn’t necessary because everyone will have seen them. Enjoyed both. Wanted more time with the SCP stuff with Cabin. Was creeped out the whole time during Looper how Joseph Gordon-Levitt didn’t look like himself, and Bruce Willis reminded me of Homer Simpson.
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Clinically Insane
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Two more where I’m late to the party, Edge of Tomorrow and The Hitman’s Bodyguard.
Liked both. Edge was surprisingly dark, especially if you ignore the ending, which I’d argue one should. Also relentlessly drab color palette. I strangely found myself liking the interpersonal stuff the most, like the scene in the countryside house.
With Bodyguard, it was fun to watch Sam Jackson play “every Sam Jackson character ever”. Fight scene in the kitchen and beyond was fantastic.
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Originally Posted by subego
Late to the party for Cabin in the Woods and Looper so I imagine a full review isn’t necessary because everyone will have seen them. Enjoyed both. Wanted more time with the SCP stuff with Cabin. Was creeped out the whole time during Looper how Joseph Gordon-Levitt didn’t look like himself, and Bruce Willis reminded me of Homer Simpson.
Looper is fantastic. Rian Johnson makes pretty great movies for the most part. I think his Star Wars movie might be the best one.
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Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
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Also, Edge of Tomorrow is one of the better action movies of the 2010s. Also epic in 4K Atmos…..boom boom boom.
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Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
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Clinically Insane
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I’ve only seen the first Rian Star Wars. I didn’t hate it like everyone else, but I’d put it at 3rd or 4th best, behind Empire, ANH, and maybe Return. I mean, Return is flawed, but the speeder cycles and the Battle of Endor are still pretty amazing.
Edge of Tomorrow is definitely one of the smartest action movies out there, but the action left me a little flat in some ways. The non-action parts were the best parts. Like the cottage scene, or fuckin’ Bill Paxton, who’s just perfect.
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Originally Posted by subego
I’ve only seen the first Rian Star Wars. I didn’t hate it like everyone else, but I’d put it at 3rd or 4th best, behind Empire, ANH, and maybe Return. I mean, Return is flawed, but the speeder cycles and the Battle of Endor are still pretty amazing.
He only did The Last Jedi, from 2017. I kind of think it is/was generally regarded as likely the best of the bunch post-originals, and better than Return from a movie perspective (removing the sentimentality). I think it took some things in a slightly different direction and was not nearly as derivative as the other two in the recent trilogy.
Edge of Tomorrow is definitely one of the smartest action movies out there, but the action left me a little flat in some ways. The non-action parts were the best parts. Like the cottage scene, or fuckin’ Bill Paxton, who’s just perfect.
I think the ending was definitely weaker. Not surprisingly, I find the action scenes can feel a little meaningless due to the relatively generic monsters…..they’re everywhere, they’re fast, they’re not really that nasty-looking, so it doesn’t give you the same jolt of horror and once you know about the premise, you don’t feel the same level of table stakes (until they re-introduce them near the end). Typically, I think that one well-done baddie is always better than a swarm of generic baddies.
But it’s great theatre entertainment!
Also, if it’s the smartness that hooked you, not sure if you’ve seen Source Code from a few years before….a Jake Gyllenhall movie, very similar premise! It’s not as entertaining (I mean…it’s not Tom Cruise) but might be a better overall executed movie. Would be interested to see what you think in comparison!!
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Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
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Clinically Insane
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I’d say I liked Source Code more. That movie is very tight. I also like Jake a lot, and I’ve ridden the train it took place on a bunch of times. I still consider the final loop to be one of the most satisfying scenes in cinema. Likewise, the implication at the end that all the other timelines still exist was brilliant (unlike the Edge ending).
Agree about the aliens in Edge. They’re generic, and just too chaotic. The robot suits are great though. Also agree about the stakes. I knew the setup going in, so that was an issue right off. Like in other places, the implications of the action are more interesting than the action. Such as the prospective horror of dying thousands of times.
Return had lots of problems, and I have little sentimentality for it and the muppet shit. However the cycles and the last battle are so good, they transcend the stupid. TLJ was just… okay. It has a common Star Wars problem of stuffing five acts into a three-act bag. Plus, no one knew what to do with Boyega’s character in either of the first two sequels.
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