[besson3c]

I think it would be a neat experience to commit a crime and perhaps spend a night in prison, as I've never been arrested for anything before. I'm thinking about the sorts of crimes that don't hurt others, and this will be a one-off sort of thing just to experience the rush of committing the crime and being arrested, therefore a criminal record won't hurt me since it will be the only record I ever have, and a minor offense.

I'm thinking about something like indecent exposure, shoplifting, or possession of drugs. Sex with a minor or prostitute would be fun, except I'm married so if you were to highly recommend this I'll talk it over with the wife to see what she thinks. Will loitering consistently result in arrests? How about public defecation (I'd do it straight into a garbage can)? Trespassing? Public intoxication? How about disturbing the peace? It would be fun to just walk inside a large building and start yelling for no reason. Indecent exposure sounds like it would be fun too, I'm thinking it would be fun to rock out with my cock out in a church or something, although that might traumatize old people.

What else could I do? How should I do it? I don't think I want to experience being tased, so if you have recommendations to avoid this that would be good too... Again, the object is not to hurt anybody.

[Cold Warrior]

If it's just the night, that'd be a county or city jail, not really prison. You'll need a real crime with a prison sentence, which takes it out of your suggestions above.

Also, time in a jail cell is overrated. Been there. Go big, go long, or go home, besson.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Cold Warrior 

If it's just the night, that'd be a county or city jail, not really prison. You'll need a real crime with a prison sentence, which takes it out of your suggestions above.

Also, time in a jail cell is overrated. Been there. Go big, go long, or go home, besson.

Okay, I meant to say jail then.

What did you do to have to put time in a jail cell?

[Sealobo]

it really depends on which state you're in... right?

[imitchellg5]

Just speed.

[turtle777]

Wouldn't it be great if attention whoring would be a jailable offense ?

You would have achieved your goal already.

-t

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by turtle777 

Wouldn't it be great if attention whoring would be a jailable offense ?

You would have achieved your goal already.

-t

That, or being better than you.

[turtle777]

Well, good luck with that. You might have to resort to pooping on a police cruiser

-t

[Dork.]

Go to a high crime area and start recording when the cops arrest people. That will get you in jail in no time.

[Cold Warrior]

Dork's suggestion is a good one. You could probably get it dismissed and wouldn't be left with a criminal record. Exposing yourself could get you sex offender status.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Cold Warrior 

Dork's suggestion is a good one. You could probably get it dismissed and wouldn't be left with a criminal record. Exposing yourself could get you sex offender status.

Ahhh, I guess I don't want sex offender status, although goofy non-sexual exposure probably should be treated differently.

The problem with Dork.'s suggestion is that it is a little boring. I want to do something a little more adventurous than just run a video recorder. Maybe I could run the video recorder while drinking?

[Shaddim]

Break into a zoo after hours and take pictures of the animals. I did that, got to spend some quality time at the local lockup. Impressed the woman i was with too, probably would have been more impressive if we hadn't gotten busted.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Shaddim 

Break into a zoo after hours and take pictures of the animals. I did that, got to spend some quality time at the local lockup. Impressed the woman i was with too, probably would have been more impressive if we hadn't gotten busted.

That's a pretty cool suggestion! Alas, there is no zoo around here, the nearest one is an hour away. I've always wanted to do stealthy stuff like that!

They should have let you go with a warning though. I mean, what could have been more harmless than what you did?

[iMOTOR]

For you besson, I recommend shoplifting toys from the Dollar Tree store.

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I'm thinking about the sorts of crimes that don't hurt others,

Maybe going 160mph down the highway at 2am, there are probably other crimes that don’t hurt anyone.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by iMOTOR 

For you besson, I recommend shoplifting toys from the Dollar Tree store.

I could start with that, but if I get away with it I won't get my jail time. Maybe I should try to return the merchandise to see if I can get my money back, and then make a big stink if I can't?

Maybe going 160mph down the highway at 2am, there are probably other crimes that don’t hurt anyone.

Will that lead to jail time, or just an expensive ticket?

[brassplayersrock²]

Why not just cross police tape and start interfering with a crime scene to get arrested, and come back here to make a whine thread about how you were treated "unfairly" heh heh heh

[iMOTOR]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Will that lead to jail time, or just an expensive ticket?

Apparently in some jurisdictions, there’s a certain speed that is considered a criminal offense.

[Cold Warrior]

besson,
Mill around the border a bit, refuse to provide information when captured by US authorities. Sit in lockup until satisfied, then provide citizenship information.

Note: no guarantees such proof will be honored.

[turtle777]

Given besson's location, would the border to Kentucky work ?

-t

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by iMOTOR 

Apparently in some jurisdictions, there’s a certain speed that is considered a criminal offense.

And some speeds result in automatic revocation of one's driver's license, which isn't fun. DAMHIK.

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Alas, there is no zoo around here, the nearest one is an hour away.

Where the heck do you live, the Moon?

[Thorzdad]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Where the heck do you live, the Moon?

Now, now.
The nearest zoo to me is over an hour away in Indianapolis. Where the heck do you live that zoos are so common?

As for Besson's wish...I suggest gross public intoxication. Add-in a fight, and you're sure to spend the night sleeping it off in a piss-soaked holding cell with about a dozen or so of your fellow inebriates.

[LaGow]

This is probably the single dumbest thread I’ve ever read. I am agog. What are you, 12? Why in heaven’s name would you want to do this? Are you that bored? Or just stupid?

Take it from someone who has been arrested and handcuffed to a police bench for hours, you don’t want to do this. Here are a few consequences. Clearly you are either too young or stupid (or both) to consider them, so let me outline just a few:

1. Being arrested is public—you will be seen. Hope you enjoy the experience of being bent over the cruiser, handcuffed and put in the back seat. Have fun as the cuffs tighten in on your wrists painfully if you sit on the backs of your hands as happened to me. Don’t bother asking for help, pal, you’ll be ignored.
2. Jail is not fun. Hope you like the idea of taking a crap in front of everyone, because there’s absolutely no privacy whatsoever. Zero.
3. You will make the paper and someone will read it. Guarantee that, even if it’s just the police blotter. Have fun explaining yourself, because most sane people will walk away shaking their heads. I can only imagine what your parents will think.
4. Court isn’t fun either. And I guess you’ll have to lie to your employer about time off to make it to court that day. Lying is so much fun. It does all sorts of wonderful things for your self respect, doesn’t it? Court was especially painful for me since the judge was a friend of mine. Now I can't even talk to the man.
5. Congratulations, you have a criminal record! Oh, and now the entire criminal justice system has your fingerprints! Hope you enjoyed the experience.

And please be polite to the officer whose time you’re wasting. Now grow the **** up.

[Uncle Skeleton]

Originally Posted by LaGow 

Why in heaven’s name would you want to do this?

...

2. Jail is not fun. Hope you like the idea of taking a crap in front of everyone, because there’s absolutely no privacy whatsoever. Zero.

I think I figured out the answer to the question.......

[LaGow]

I could go on. It's not like TV. One of the truly wonderful things about court, for example, is waiting for hours while the judge slogs through every other case on the docket till he makes it to yours. Everything from people who can't pay their rent to truly frightening individuals who you are happy to see locked away. I spent a good amount of the time asking myself why the hell I was there--and this arrest was "merely" for disorderly conduct. This is not an experience I'd want to repeat. Ever.

[el chupacabra]

.., .

[iMOTOR]

Originally Posted by LaGow 

Have fun explaining yourself, because most sane people will walk away shaking their heads. I can only imagine what your parents will think.

Apparently, you don’t come by this forum much.

[el chupacabra]

Originally Posted by LaGow 

This is probably the single dumbest thread I’ve ever read. I am agog. What are you, 12? Why in heaven’s name would you want to do this? Are you that bored? Or just stupid?

Take it from someone who has been arrested and handcuffed to a police bench for hours, you don’t want to do this. Here are a few consequences. Clearly you are either too young or stupid (or both) to consider them, so let me outline just a few:

1. Being arrested is public—you will be seen. Hope you enjoy the experience of being bent over the cruiser, handcuffed and put in the back seat. Have fun as the cuffs tighten in on your wrists painfully if you sit on the backs of your hands as happened to me. Don’t bother asking for help, pal, you’ll be ignored.
2. Jail is not fun. Hope you like the idea of taking a crap in front of everyone, because there’s absolutely no privacy whatsoever. Zero.
3. You will make the paper and someone will read it. Guarantee that, even if it’s just the police blotter. Have fun explaining yourself, because most sane people will walk away shaking their heads. I can only imagine what your parents will think.
4. Court isn’t fun either. And I guess you’ll have to lie to your employer about time off to make it to court that day. Lying is so much fun. It does all sorts of wonderful things for your self respect, doesn’t it? Court was especially painful for me since the judge was a friend of mine. Now I can't even talk to the man.
5. Congratulations, you have a criminal record! Oh, and now the entire criminal justice system has your fingerprints! Hope you enjoyed the experience.

And please be polite to the officer whose time you’re wasting. Now grow the **** up.

[hyteckit]

Get drunk. Then get naked and go jogging in public.

[mattyb]

The drunk route is IMHO the best one. I recommend downing a bottle of Smirnoff Blue label and then thanking the pretty policewoman profusely when thrown into the back of the mariah.

Its called : being taken in for your own protection, and it didn't stop me from getting Nato Top Secret security clearence.

[Waragainstsleep]

Why not pick one or more of these:

Obsolete Laws
Dumb Laws, Stupid Laws: We have weird laws, strange laws, and just plain crazy laws!

[andi*pandi]

^That's not a bad idea, then when arrested you can claim you are just pointing out the waste of time these laws are, and you'll make it into the "Weird News" section of AOL.com.

Or the drunk thing.

[besson3c]

You guys better not steal my idea while I figure out my plan of attack here.

Do you guys have any suggestions involving hobos?

[turtle777]

Btw, I reported this thread to the FBI. I also mentioned Ca$h.

-t

[ort888]

Regicide.

[Waragainstsleep]

How about piracy on the high seas?

[besson3c]

I don't have a boat or access to royal people, but there are hobos around here, which is pretty much the same thing...

[sek929]

Get a sack of drugs, any kind will do, then go down to the local elementary school and start handing out free samples.

[Cold Warrior]

If it's a public school, they're probably way ahead of you, so be prepared for them to defend their drug turf.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by sek929 

Get a sack of drugs, any kind will do, then go down to the local elementary school and start handing out free samples.

I don't want to cause long term damage to these kids. Maybe yelling at them would be fun though?

[brassplayersrock²]

Originally Posted by Cold Warrior 

If it's a public school, they're probably way ahead of you, so be prepared for them to defend their drug turf.

It was even found at the ele school I teach at (4th grade!). Kids these days!

[sek929]

Well buy weed, unless the kids have papers and/or a bong on them they won't be able to do much with it before it gets confiscated.

[indigoimac]

Get drunk, try to break into neighbors house, they call cops, cops come, you run, dog comes after you and nibbles on your calf. Happened to a friend of mine. Spent the night in jail, cold shower alone with guard with some sort of cleaning agent, a TB test, and a couple court dates later and all those felonies were dismissed...

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I don't want to cause long term damage to these kids.

Well, there goes my next suggestion: play some smooth jazz for them on your tuba.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Well, there goes my next suggestion: play some smooth jazz for them on your tuba.

Maybe I should find an elementary school and hang out in the play yard and do this the whole time?

YouTube - ‪trumpet high notes‬‏


I'll do this throughout the school day

[Waragainstsleep]

I think you mentioned loitering earlier. Perhaps if you loitered on a street corner at night wearing something provocative....?

[brassplayersrock²]

*throws up a little in my mouth*

[turtle777]

Who did ?

-t

[Athens]

Here is the problem. You are going to cause long term harm to either yourself with a criminal record or some one else by committing a crime or having them lie. IE you could get a minor to say you raped him or her so you can spend some real time in Jail and then have the minor say it was a lie. You get off with no long term effect but the Minor could be charged with a crime. The minor in self defense of that could say it was all your idea putting you back in the hot seat.

You could just do something like evade taxes but again what ever you do will have long term affects on you. Why not just ask a local jail if you can be locked up for a couple days for the experience. Say your writing a book or something. No special treatment or protection.

[olePigeon]

I've observed that all you have to do is become CEO of a major bank. You can then do whatever the f*ck you want, and the Federal Government will even reward you for it.