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shifuimam
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:28 AM
 
Yes or no? I decided when I was still a kid that I didn't want kids - I'm going to be 25 in less than a month, and that sentiment hasn't changed. People think there's something wrong with me for wanting to be childfree.

So what about the rest of 'NN? How do you feel about kids? Do you have them? Did you want to have them when they were actually born? Did you think about your preference for children before you got married?
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Dakar V
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:30 AM
 
Poll?
     
paul w
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:34 AM
 
Having kids is one of those grownup decisions - moreso even than getting a tattoo or changing computing platforms - frought with consequences that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

You'll know when you're ready to have kids - it's not something you should simply rationalize or ask others about. I would even guess you have enough information about what kids, babies and parenting is like already to be informed enough.

My answer is yes to all of your questions and not only do I have no regrets, but I can't conceive of returning to my life without my daughter. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. But that's me.
     
Spheric Harlot
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:36 AM
 
See you in ten or years, when you actually have to MAKE the decision.

Have a daughter. She was very much wanted, and still is.

Best damn thing that's ever going to happen to me, probably.

Oh, and we're not married. Never seemed as relevant as an actual, working relationship.
     
Railroader
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:46 AM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
Yes or no?
Yes.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I decided when I was still a kid that I didn't want kids - I'm going to be 25 in less than a month, and that sentiment hasn't changed. People think there's something wrong with me for wanting to be childfree.
Nothing wrong with you. But you will probably change your mind.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
So what about the rest of 'NN? How do you feel about kids?
I work for a children's ministry. Love kids. It's adults that usually annoy me.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
Do you have them?
Yes.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
Did you want to have them when they were actually born?
I can't remember that far. I think I just wanted warmth, food, sleep, and a dry bottom.
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
Did you think about your preference for children before you got married?
My wife and I discussed having kids pretty much the moment we started dating. I wanted kids and she didn't. But knowing she was going into the early elementary field I knew she'd change her mind. She was in her early/mid 20's and very selfish at the time, as most career women are.

When she hit 30 she said "I want kids NOW!!!'. I just nodded, turned my head and smiled. Sic years later we have two of our own kids and at this moment 6 total with another one entering our home soon.
     
Dakar V
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:47 AM
 
Prediction: No one with kids is going to say they could take it or leave it.
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Paco500
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:49 AM
 
Have two, both wanted- well planned as much as can be done. I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting kids, but as has been said, I can't imagine my life without them. Feeling unconditional love for someone, in my experience, is much more powerful than being unconditionally loved.

There are obviously people who never bond with their kids and resent them, but that sentiment is unimaginable to me. Caring for my children is the most satisfying, rewarding and enjoyable part of my life.
     
Paco500
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:52 AM
 
Originally Posted by Railroader View Post
She was in her early/mid 20's and very selfish at the time, as most career women are.
Heavens- I hope you don't have daughters or care for girls. Or you mispoke.
     
Big Mac
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Jun 25, 2009, 09:57 AM
 
Should you have a child? Not if you're not up to it emotionally or financially, IMO. I'm not ready for children yet by any stretch. I also struggle with the issue of it not making a lot of sense to bring more human beings into this very dark and flawed world where they'll have to endure some portion of pain, fear and difficulty.

On the other hand, I recently sat in on a lecture from a good friend, one of my professors from years ago. He was arguing that day that abortion is a terrible evil that destroys generations, and lack of native population growth is killing western civilization.

My religion also instructs me to be fruitful and multiply. If the circumstances are right in the future I'll probably want children, but I have pretty high standards across the board so there's a chance they won't ever be met. At the very least I need a wife first. I think I would also give thought to adoption as an alternative to having my own.

Shif, if you do have a kid, I advise you to have at least one more. My life would be much worse off if I had stayed an only child.
( Last edited by Big Mac; Jun 25, 2009 at 11:55 AM. )

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Tiresias
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Jun 25, 2009, 10:05 AM
 
I have a five year old daughter. e. e. cummings said, "Until you love, the world makes no sense." That has been true for me.
     
design219
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Jun 25, 2009, 10:09 AM
 
I didn't think I wanted kids in my 20s, yet I broke off a relationship with a girl who made it clear she didn't... so somewhere in the back of my mind, I guess the idea was there. Now I have two, both were wanted, and I'm thrilled with parenthood.
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scaught
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Jun 25, 2009, 10:35 AM
 
I have pretty much never wanted kids. I still don't, but could picture myself wanting kids if I met and settled down with the right person. I figure something in them and us will make that feeling happen. I think it makes sense at any rate.
     
Laminar
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Jun 25, 2009, 10:45 AM
 
At this point in my life I see having kids as a drain on my time and money, time and money that could be spent on other things. Like motorcycles. I'm sure things will change for me in time, so we'll see. My parents did mention that I'm the only blood-related male on my dad's side, so it's up to me to carry on the family name. No pressure though.
     
ort888
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Jun 25, 2009, 10:46 AM
 
I agree 100%




You should not have kids.

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Spheric Harlot
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Jun 25, 2009, 10:46 AM
 
Originally Posted by scaught View Post
if I met and settled down with the right person. I figure something in them and us will make that feeling happen. I think it makes sense at any rate.
yes.
     
ghporter
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Jun 25, 2009, 11:07 AM
 
Think hard about it. Very hard. And for an extended period of time. We were together almost 9 years, married for 8, when we had our son, and as Spheric Harlot suggests, it was one of the best things that has happened to us as a couple.

However, as others have suggested, "children change everything." Literally everything. One thing I missed, after the initial excitement faded, was that we very seldom had "couple time." That could be a problem, depending on your significant other and your relationship. And remember, you don't have a baby alone. It takes another person's enthusiastic cooperation to get started; it's ALWAYS better to have that person's enthusiastic cooperation throughout the process. Which takes AT LEAST 18 years.

Our son, after getting sufficient education and training, got a great job and an apartment (almost simultaneously). We are very proud of him and his accomplishments. His moving out has returned us to being "a couple." That's Very Good. But we do miss him, and talk with him maybe more often now than when he was still living at home. His existence irrevocably changed our relationship. If we had not really thought long and hard about whether to have a child, and then when it was appropriate to do so, I don't think we'd have done nearly as well, either for him, each other, or ourselves as individuals.

Yeah, it's serious business. Yeah, you need to have a series of heart-to-heart discussions about this extremely important decision. And yeah, as Spheric Harlot says, you don't' HAVE to make this decision NOW. But sooner is better, both for you and for the hypothetical baby. One thing people seem to do is to plan their careers, their car purchases, even when they're going to upgrade their cell phones, but not when they should have kids. Planning WHEN is as important as deciding IF. So if you decide you (both) really do want to have at least one child, then set yourselves a timeframe and build your lives toward that. It's much easier to accommodate the rest of your world to having a child than to accommodate having a child to the rest of your world. Really.

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ort888
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Jun 25, 2009, 11:20 AM
 
In other news, I'm having my first kid sometime in two months. My genetic code will live on. My wife and I are super excited. We were one of those couples that had to actually put some effort into making a kid... but it all worked out in the end.

I've known my whole life I wanted children, I just kept putting it off.

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ringo
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Jun 25, 2009, 11:20 AM
 
I have one so far, a ten month old, and would like to have at least one more. I wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not when I got married, but the idea started appealing to me more and more as I moved into my late twenties/early thirties and my life became stable enough to start considering it in a responsible way. Its a huge responsibility and requires a shuffle of priorities, but the experience is amazing and the sacrifices feel worthwhile.

I'm not someone who believes in a spiritual afterlife, so in some ways having children fulfills my wish to live on in some way after dying. The genetic material my ancestors passed on to me is combined with that of my wife and lives on in a new generation...there's something very satisfying about seeing the physical manifestation of that process.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Jun 25, 2009, 11:32 AM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Prediction: No one with kids is going to say they could take it or leave it.
Unless they have ginger kids.

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sek929
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Jun 25, 2009, 12:08 PM
 
To busy being a selfish mid-20s, and so is my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 4 years now and we haven't discussed it once, I can see wanting kids when I'm married but I'm a long way from that right now.

I'd rather act like a kid for several more years.
( Last edited by sek929; Jun 25, 2009 at 04:57 PM. )
     
James L
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Jun 25, 2009, 12:17 PM
 
Originally Posted by sek929 View Post
To busy being a selfish mid-20s dude, and so is my girlfriend. We've been together for almost 4 years now and we haven't discussed it once, I can see wanting kids when I'm married but I'm a long way from that right now.

I'd rather act like a kid for several more years.
Just 'cuz someone is going to ask it:

Your girlfriend is a mid-20s dude?
     
Dakar V
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Jun 25, 2009, 12:20 PM
 
Don't judge.
     
sek929
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Jun 25, 2009, 12:22 PM
 
Wait a minute....the penis...it all makes sense now.

nit-picking jerks
     
shifuimam  (op)
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Jun 25, 2009, 12:42 PM
 
I probably misrepresented myself in my original post.

I'm not asking for advice on whether or not to have kids. The only reason I'm not already sterilized is because my gyno thinks I'm too young. I'm on Implanon (plastic stick embedded in my arm - it's awesome) for the next three years, after which I'm allowed to be sterilized.

I was just curious to see if anyone else here was deliberately childfree, and if not, what your thoughts were on procreating in general.

I don't need anyone to tell me I'll change my mind in a few years - I've been told that for a long time, and it's BS. Even if my subconscious biological clock tells me to procreate, I still have a choice not to do so.
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SpaceMonkey
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Jun 25, 2009, 01:05 PM
 
Consider the risk that at some point you'll have to help re-populate the human species.

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Jun 25, 2009, 01:10 PM
 
I'm deliberately child-free at 37.

Plan on never having any but if some weird thing trips in my brain and I decide I NEED a child, I would adopt. I personally don't understand the need to procreate nor truly understand why people feel the need to, either. Yeah, for all of those people that statement riles up, I'm "Mr. Bad Person" for not jumping on board with breeding. Sorry.

Years ago, my significant other decided that she would have her tubes tied. She was about 26 years old at that time and faced an uphill battle trying to find a doctor who would perform the procedure. She finally found one, had the procedure done and was able to get off that horrible hormone ("birth control") therapy.
     
Atheist
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:06 PM
 
I've always wanted children but the opportunity never presented itself. Now that I'm 45 I think it's too late. I can't imagine being in my 60's with a kid in secondary school.
     
finboy
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:18 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
Yes or no? I decided when I was still a kid that I didn't want kids - I'm going to be 25 in less than a month, and that sentiment hasn't changed. People think there's something wrong with me for wanting to be childfree.

So what about the rest of 'NN? How do you feel about kids? Do you have them? Did you want to have them when they were actually born? Did you think about your preference for children before you got married?
I had always considered kids in the abstract, but I probably waited too long. As did plenty of my friends. One thing: if you aren't going to have them, fine. But if you're going to change your mind, don't wait until you're 35 or something. First, women have a harder time later, and second, most important, is you have less time and energy later in life, and it's harder to keep up with them and give them the time they need.

So, having said all that. I'm glad I spent my youth getting done with school so I could be secure, but I wish I'd had kids 15 years ago.

As for the "I'm not ready" thing you hear all the time: nobody is ever ready for kids. Ever. There's no "perfect" time to get married, no "perfect" time to raise a bunch of kids.

The adoption thing sounds like a good idea, but it turns out to be a real nightmare in practice. You gotta ask yourself why so many people adopt offshore. Open adoption has hurt so many people. The kids lose out in the process. In principle, it's a great idea though.

Finally, if someone is concerned that they may not want kids for the wrong reason (poor childhood, irrational fears, etc.) then they should seek psychiatric help before getting sterilized. I know plenty of folks who couldn't imagine having kids at 25, and turned out great parents. I know plenty of other folks who put it off until they got their heads right, and it was too late.
( Last edited by finboy; Jun 25, 2009 at 03:32 PM. )
     
shifuimam  (op)
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by Atheist View Post
I've always wanted children but the opportunity never presented itself. Now that I'm 45 I think it's too late. I can't imagine being in my 60's with a kid in secondary school.
My (ex-)father adopted a baby from Guatemala when he was like 53. It can be done.

If something happens in the distant future, I (like screamingFit) would much rather give a fighting chance to a kid from a third-world country...or an abused kid in the United States who's stuck in the CPS system until they turn 18.

I think there's little chance of that happening, though. I've already told the boyfriend that I think we should sponsor some kids through a program like Compassion International. If we're not going breed, we may as well help kids in third-world countries get things like food, shelter, and an education.
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
Prediction: No one with kids is going to say they could take it or leave it.
I know, I'm amazing.
I'll say it.

For every wonderful thing about kids there is an equal and opposite. Children are a huge pain in the ass and they can be extremely emotionally draining.

But then parents aren't supposed to be this honest. We are only supposed to speak about how rewarding and wonderful parenting is.
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shifuimam  (op)
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:30 PM
 
I think if you put both my parents to a lie detector, they'd be forced to admit that they regret having children.

I think it takes a special kind of person to really be a good parent - too many people have kids for the hell of it, and it's really starting to impact society as a whole.
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nonhuman
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:50 PM
 
My wife and I have no kids, and no plans to have them. We'll both be 27 in October, so obviously there's plenty of time for us to change our minds, but for the time being I, at least, feel no desire to have children of my own. I love my niece and my god-daughter and wish I could spend more time with them, but not that much more.
     
SSharon
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:55 PM
 
I've been married for just over two years and don't have kids yet by choice since I was in law school. I'm ready for them now, and I know my wife is too since she brings it up much more often now, the only thing holding us back is the financial burden. Until I find a job I don't think I can afford to have a child. Give it a few months though and hopefully I'll have a job and can start a thread sharing some good news.

We are still negotiating how many children we each want, but we haven't set a hard rule and will just see what happens.
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Jun 25, 2009, 02:58 PM
 
Originally Posted by smacintush View Post
I'll say it.

For every wonderful thing about kids there is an equal and opposite. Children are a huge pain in the ass and they can be extremely emotionally draining.

But then parents aren't supposed to be this honest. We are only supposed to speak about how rewarding and wonderful parenting is.
I'm not sure parents deny that, per se, but yes, in threads like these most aren't forthcoming.

What I'm saying is no one, if they had a chance to go back redo things, would be indifferent to it. Or are you saying that?
     
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Jun 25, 2009, 03:34 PM
 
I already know what I am going to name my first born male.
First Middle
Max Capacity
I just need to find a girl who approves of this name
     
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Jun 25, 2009, 03:45 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar V View Post
What I'm saying is no one, if they had a chance to go back redo things, would be indifferent to it. Or are you saying that?
Pretty much, yep and I think that many parents feel this way and won't admit it.
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Dakar V
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Jun 25, 2009, 03:46 PM
 
Awesome.
     
Spheric Harlot
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Jun 25, 2009, 04:20 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I don't need anyone to tell me I'll change my mind in a few years - I've been told that for a long time, and it's BS. Even if my subconscious biological clock tells me to procreate, I still have a choice not to do so.
You're so gonna hate me for this but:

So much stuff that is total BS at 25 is pressing reality at 35.

If you're on meds, you've probably put a lot of thought into what you've written, but at the same time, you must be very aware of just how overwhelming even slight shifts in the chemical balance can be.

The "biological clock" is a little more than just some arbitrary societal thing.

It's ****ing hardwired.

Or rather, it's ****ing, hardwired.
     
mattyb
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Jun 25, 2009, 04:21 PM
 
Having kids is a complete loss of freedom. There are obviously parents who couldn't give a flying **** about their kids, but I do, and this restricts what I want to do and when. My wife has basically given up any chance of a career for our two kids. A massive sacrifice that some could not accept. I wouldn't say that I regret, but I'll be honest and say that it may have been interesting to have that freedom for a bit longer.

My family and my wife's family are quite close-knit and the older folks are looked after by the younger ones. I can't help thinking that it must be harder for those that don't have kids (or those that have kids that don't care about their parents) in later life.

My son was 2 today and my daughter is 5.
     
Laminar
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Jun 25, 2009, 04:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot View Post
Or rather, it's ****ing, hardwired.
Beautiful.
     
ort888
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Jun 25, 2009, 04:40 PM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Having kids is a complete loss of freedom. There are obviously parents who couldn't give a flying **** about their kids, but I do, and this restricts what I want to do and when. My wife has basically given up any chance of a career for our two kids. A massive sacrifice that some could not accept. I wouldn't say that I regret, but I'll be honest and say that it may have been interesting to have that freedom for a bit longer.

My family and my wife's family are quite close-knit and the older folks are looked after by the younger ones. I can't help thinking that it must be harder for those that don't have kids (or those that have kids that don't care about their parents) in later life.

My son was 2 today and my daughter is 5.
Well, from what I understand you are through the hardest part. Once your kids are a little older you get a lot of your free time back.

Personally, I'm kind of scared of the whole "baby" thing, but can't wait for the "kid" thing. I love kids and am completely indifferent to babies.

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Jun 25, 2009, 04:51 PM
 
My wife and I got married three years ago with plans to have children after five years.

I'd love to have children, but not just yet. I think four more years (I'd be 30) would be a good time for me, but my wife seems to be developing other plans. She has always been the "I don't know if I'll ever want kids" type, and really values her busy lifestyle, but she's been holding other's kids, freaking out over every baby around, and getting "the look." All of this came out of nowhere.

I'm guessing she's going to hold me to my original five-year agreement.
     
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Jun 25, 2009, 04:54 PM
 
No children, and not having any. I'm so sure about this decision that I went and had a vasectomy at 24. It took a while to find a doctor who would do it, most would decline and tell me that I would change my mind.

Kids... annoy me. I can handle being around my nephew every couple weeks, and it's getting easier as he matures, but that's the extent of my parental instincts.
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shifuimam  (op)
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot View Post
You're so gonna hate me for this but:

So much stuff that is total BS at 25 is pressing reality at 35.

If you're on meds, you've probably put a lot of thought into what you've written, but at the same time, you must be very aware of just how overwhelming even slight shifts in the chemical balance can be.

The "biological clock" is a little more than just some arbitrary societal thing.

It's ****ing hardwired.

Or rather, it's ****ing, hardwired.
Haha - not if I'm sterilized first. I've put more thought into my choice not to have children than just about any other decision I've made in my life thus far. I'm vehemently against it - telling me that I'll change my mind some day is like telling me that I'll vote Democrat some day, or that I'll turn to atheism some day. It's just not going to happen. I have zero interest in carrying around a child in my body for nine months (note that most of you here are men; your responsibility before the actual birth is just to inseminate your woman so that she can carry around seven pounds of parasitic flesh for more than half a year), and even less interest in pushing a bowling ball through my vag.

Like I've said - if I change my mind and want to raise a kid to adulthood, I'll adopt or foster. At least then I'm doing something good in the life of someone else, rather than adding another head to the ever-growing world population.

Even that is unlikely. I hate kids. I mean, when I see kids (even babies), I don't think "aww" unless they're lucky enough to look like Shirley Temple circa 1932. All I think is "gross", "annoying", "loud", "messy", and "parasitic". Maybe that makes me selfish, but I find that it's better to not ruin an innocent kid's life, rather than giving birth so that I can either indulge in some fantasy (extremely unlikely - all my fantasies involve David Duchovny, sans kids) or satisfy a societal expectation (which I think is why a lot of people have children). I don't buy into the myth that "even if you hate kids now, you'll like your own" - I've seen the complete opposite of that in too many families to believe that people default to being good parents just because their genes are in the thing.

The only kid I've ever been able to tolerate for more than about five microseconds is my adopted stepsister, Sarah, and even then I was glad she wasn't mine - when she woke up in the middle of the night puking her guts out, I didn't have to haul ass out of bed to clean her up.

I understand why my gyno is hesitant to let me get Essure at 25, which is why he advised I get Implanon first. I'll be 28 by the time it's yanked from my arm, at which point he's told me that he won't be opposed to performing a permanent solution on me.
( Last edited by shifuimam; Jun 25, 2009 at 05:09 PM. )
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dcmacdaddy
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:14 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I think if you put both my parents to a lie detector, they'd be forced to admit that they regret having children.
My Mom has said this to me and my oldest sister about our middle sister. She always says "I wish I lost K. (the middle sister) instead of P. the (first-born son who died* four days after birth)".
*He was born anencephalic. Nowadays they can determine that in the second trimester via ultrasound, with the parents almost always aborting the fetus instead of carrying it to term.

Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I think it takes a special kind of person to really be a good parent - too many people have kids for the hell of it, and it's really starting to impact society as a whole.
Too many people have kids because they think it is the thing to do in life. I think the mentality is graduate college -> get married -> have babies without ever thinking about whether or not they actually *want* to have children. They sorta just do it because that's what the think they're supposed to do.
( Last edited by dcmacdaddy; Jun 25, 2009 at 05:21 PM. )
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finboy
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:19 PM
 
Originally Posted by shifuimam View Post
I don't buy into the myth that "even if you hate kids now, you'll like your own" - I've seen the complete opposite of that in too many families to believe that people default to being good parents just because their genes are in the thing.
I'd be surprised if this held true in your case, given your stated attitude. So it's probably best that you want to be sterilized. I still think you should seek professional counseling to see if you can isolate your problems with children. It's one thing to not want to have them, and that's your right, and another to have them annoy you (without even trying) or cause anxiety.

Your OP seems more like a cry for help now.
     
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:22 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot View Post
You're so gonna hate me for this but:

So much stuff that is total BS at 25 is pressing reality at 35.

If you're on meds, you've probably put a lot of thought into what you've written, but at the same time, you must be very aware of just how overwhelming even slight shifts in the chemical balance can be.

The "biological clock" is a little more than just some arbitrary societal thing.

It's ****ing hardwired.

Or rather, it's ****ing, hardwired.
This obviously isn't true for men. As I've gotten older I've become even more averse to being a parent.
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Laminar
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by finboy View Post
It's one thing to not want to have them, and that's your right, and another to have them annoy you (without even trying) or cause anxiety.

Your OP seems more like a cry for help now.
Kids in public are most noticeable when they're acting up, so it would be natural to assume that you hate kids because every time you notice one they're doing something annoying.
     
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by Paco500 View Post
Heavens- I hope you don't have daughters or care for girls. Or you mispoke.
I have one birth daughter and three current foster daughters. I did not misspeak, most career women are very selfish.
     
shifuimam  (op)
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Jun 25, 2009, 05:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by dcmacdaddy View Post
My Mom has said this to me and my oldest sister about our middle sister. She always says "I wish I lost K. (the middle sister) instead of P.
That is effed up.


Too many people have kids because they think it is the thing to do in life. I think the mentality is graduate college -> get married -> have babies without ever thinking about whether or not they actually *want* to have children. They sorta just do it because that's what the think they're supposed to do.
Which is one hell of a poor reason to have kids.

Originally Posted by finboy View Post
I'd be surprised if this held true in your case, given your stated attitude. So it's probably best that you want to be sterilized. I still think you should seek professional counseling to see if you can isolate your problems with children. It's one thing to not want to have them, and that's your right, and another to have them annoy you (without even trying) or cause anxiety.

Your OP seems more like a cry for help now.
Why? Because I don't fit into your expectation of a normal female? What about Shaddim? He doesn't particularly like children, either - or as male, is he less expected to inevitably want children? I don't think I need counseling in order to "fix" my dislike of children. It'd be like telling me to go to counseling to "fix" my dislike of dogs. The real crime is when people dislike kids but still give birth to them.

Don't read so much into it - I really was interested to see if anyone else around here was choosing to remain childfree. Kids don't "cause me anxiety" - kids annoy me in the way that barking dogs annoy me, or the power drills right outside my office window during our building renovation annoy me. An annoyance of something is not cause for therapy.
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