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Help needed with French Girl stuff
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downinflames68
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Aug 25, 2009, 11:31 PM
 
Short version: Been out with a certain french girl lately. Gorgeous. Tall. 25% Italian. Grew up as an islander. Hilarious. And extremely sexy. So sexy I feel ... just out of my league.

Good thing is she doesn't feel that way. Things have been fantastic for the past while... but I'd like to learn some things to say to her, in French. Some of you speak French... so let's here some good things to say! And... you can avoid the lovey dovey stuff. Just sorta the seduction/sexy things to say to an incredible girl. Would VERY much appreciate this.

- Rob
     
turtle777
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Aug 25, 2009, 11:42 PM
 
*gets popcorn*

-t
     
downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 25, 2009, 11:43 PM
 
Oh, and online translators suck. Babelfish = fail. I tried that already.
     
turtle777
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Aug 25, 2009, 11:45 PM
 
My French is too rusty to contribute.

But I'm sure others will contribute some nice, (in)appropriate stuff

-t
     
SpaceMonkey
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Aug 25, 2009, 11:54 PM
 
Are you sure you want to ruin the whole thing by having a conversation?

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paul w
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Aug 25, 2009, 11:56 PM
 
my wife is french, we speak french. apparently speaking french has nothing to do with her attraction to me(so she says). Just be the you that she digs. take a french class.

Or go live somewhere French speaking Like Tahiti or Vanuatu.
     
downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 26, 2009, 12:05 AM
 
I don't want to have a conversation in it. I'd just like to be able to say something "nice". She's very fluent in English... but... I don't know. It's weird that she's always converting things in her head, where as I'm just some typical American "speak english or **** off" type. Honestly I have no idea how this happened.
     
paul w
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Aug 26, 2009, 12:21 AM
 
how the hell is asking strangers on the internet better than asking her to teach you? In bed?
     
turtle777
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Aug 26, 2009, 12:22 AM
 
Originally Posted by paul w View Post
how the hell is asking strangers on the internet better than asking her to teach you? In bed?
FTW.

-t
     
- - e r i k - -
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Aug 26, 2009, 12:31 AM
 

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downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 26, 2009, 12:50 AM
 
I'd just like to surprise her, I guess.
     
besson3c
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Aug 26, 2009, 01:05 AM
 
Zut alors, je suis un grand pomplemouse!
     
downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 26, 2009, 01:07 AM
 
which means....?
     
CreepDogg
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Aug 26, 2009, 01:13 AM
 
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
     
downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 26, 2009, 02:12 AM
 
Come on guys give me the translations or I'm not using any of this stuff.
     
Stogieman
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Aug 26, 2009, 02:22 AM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
Zut alors, je suis un grand pomplemouse!
Originally Posted by downinflames68
which means....?


In think he's trying to say you are hung like a mouse.

Slick shoes?! Are you crazy?!
     
downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 26, 2009, 03:02 AM
 
Very funny.
     
Chuckit
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Aug 26, 2009, 03:07 AM
 
Originally Posted by CreepDogg View Post
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
I believe this one is the refrain from "Lady Marmalade."
Chuck
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CharlesS
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Aug 26, 2009, 04:06 AM
 
Tous vos base sont appartiennent à nous.

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OreoCookie
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Aug 26, 2009, 05:22 AM
 
Originally Posted by downinflames68 View Post
I don't want to have a conversation in it. I'd just like to be able to say something "nice". She's very fluent in English... but... I don't know. It's weird that she's always converting things in her head, where as I'm just some typical American "speak english or **** off" type. Honestly I have no idea how this happened.
If she's fluent in English, she thinks in English and no longer translates French.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
     
downinflames68  (op)
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:16 AM
 
Thank you for all the help guys. Really.
     
residentEvil
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:52 AM
 
your local library might have a latin and french speaking librarian. check there. he/she might be able to point you to some good resources or even help.
     
Laminar
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Aug 26, 2009, 09:13 AM
 
Voulez-vous avoir des relations sexuelles dans le dos de ma Dodge Neon?
     
[email protected]
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Aug 26, 2009, 09:22 AM
 
I said this is to my girlfriend and it really drove her wild:


Votre père était hamster et votre mère sentis comme des baies de sureau ! Je souhaite fart dans votre direction générale une deuxième fois.

It translates roughly as: "You are as cute as a small woodland creature, and your aroma is of the gods."
What, me worry?
     
OreoCookie
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Aug 26, 2009, 09:24 AM
 
Originally Posted by [email protected] View Post
I said this is to my girlfriend and it really drove her wild:

I'm glad you survived the initial attack (unless she broke down laughing).
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
     
[email protected]
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Aug 26, 2009, 09:32 AM
 
Originally Posted by OreoCookie View Post

I'm glad you survived the initial attack (unless she broke down laughing).
She's a special girl and I was in the zone. what else could I say?
What, me worry?
     
OreoCookie
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Aug 26, 2009, 10:28 AM
 
Nothing wrong, apparently.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Aug 26, 2009, 10:34 AM
 
Originally Posted by OreoCookie View Post
If she's fluent in English, she thinks in English and no longer translates French.
To be safe, they should just learn to speak to each other in a neutral third language. I suggest Swedish.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
mattyb
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Aug 26, 2009, 10:53 AM
 
Married to a French woman, have 2 kids born in France, and I live in France (since 2001).

Don't use vous or votre with your girlfriend. Don't say corny things, show her that even though you don't know French, that you've made an effort to learn. Learn some French history - the French (in my experience) know their own history quite well.

A couple of phrases :

Comment on dit XXX en Français ?
How do you say XXX in French? Literally 'How does one say'

Of course 'Merci', 'S'il te plait' and at the end of the evening you can say 'A plus' or 'A demain'.

Hope that helps.
     
Ham Sandwich
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Aug 26, 2009, 12:32 PM
 
Mon petit chou
(literal: my little cabbage)

Well, that was what I was taught in French class 25 years ago. I'm sure now it will just get you laughed at.
     
besson3c
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Aug 26, 2009, 01:11 PM
 
Sorry, I spelled it wrong... It should be "pamplemousse"


Zut alors, je suis un grand pamplemousse!

Seriously, she will probably laugh at hearing "zut alors" cause it's kind of a pansy thing to say.
     
iMOTOR
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Aug 26, 2009, 06:04 PM
 
Foux Du Fa Fa
     
The Final Dakar
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Aug 26, 2009, 06:07 PM
 
Originally Posted by iMOTOR View Post
Foux Du Fa Fa
Excellent.
     
Captain Obvious
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Aug 26, 2009, 06:16 PM
 
If you don't actually speak french no matter what you say its not going to be seductive or sexy. Its going to sound clumsy and humorous to her.
So go for the laugh and the "A" for effort.

Also what island? Haiti?

Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
     
CharlesS
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:12 PM
 
Je peux a hamburger au fromage?

Ticking sound coming from a .pkg package? Don't let the .bom go off! Inspect it first with Pacifist. Macworld - five mice!
     
- - e r i k - -
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:31 PM
 
This is all you need:

J: Je voudrais une croissant
J: Je suis enchante
J: Ou est le bibliotheque?
J: Voila mon passport
J: Ah, Gerard Depardieu
B + J:Un baguette, ah ha ha, oh oh oh oh
B: Ba Ba ba-ba Bow!
B: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
B: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
B: Et maintenant le voyage a la supermarche!
B: Le pamplemousse (grapefruit)
B: Ananas (pineapple)
B: Jus d’orange
B: Boeuf
B: Soup du jour
B: Le camembert
B: Jacque Cousteau
B: Baguettte
J: Mais oui
J: Bon jour
F: Bon jour
J: Bon jour
F: Bon jour, monsieur
J: Bonjour mon petit bureau de change
B: Ca va?
L: Ca va.
B: Ca va?
L: Ca va.
B: Voila – le conversation a la parc.
B: Ou est le livre?
J: A la bibliotheque
B: Et le musique dance?
J: Et le discotheque.
B: Et le discotheque
J: C’est ci, baby!
J: Un, deux, trois, quatre
B: Ba ba ba-ba bow!
All: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
F: Ou est le piscine?
J: Pardon moi?
F: Ou’est le piscine?
J: ...Uh...
F: Splish splash
J: ...Uh...
F: Eh...
J: Je ne comprends pas.
F: Parlez-vous le francais?
J: Eh?
F: Eh? Parlez-vous le francais?
J: Uh ....No.
F: Hmmm.
B: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Ba ba ba-ba bow!

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turtle777
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:34 PM
 


-t
     
SpaceMonkey
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:35 PM
 
Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
Also what island? Haiti?
Maybe Long Island.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
olePigeon
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:55 PM
 
La souris est en dessous de la table.
Le chat est sur la chaise.
Le singe est sur la branche.
"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
olePigeon
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Aug 26, 2009, 07:56 PM
 
I say skip French. Everyone knows Vietnamese is the language of love.
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you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
[email protected]
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Aug 26, 2009, 11:18 PM
 
Also, my I suggest this line from one of my favorite 80's movies "GOTCHA!" when Anthony Edwards charector is talking to the French wait:

"Mon crayon est rouge et grand"

To which the waiter replies (in English) after thinking a moment: "Good for you".
What, me worry?
     
mattyb
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Aug 27, 2009, 03:29 AM
 
So, what has downinflames68 learned from asking something in the MacNN lounge?

1) The majority of posters here are sarcastic scum.
2) I am the only one who can be trusted to supply relevant/decent/useful information.
3) The sarcastic scum that post here have far too much time on their hands.
     
besson3c
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Aug 27, 2009, 04:18 AM
 
Would now be a good time for a HaHa image saying "haha! Cash is no good at French girl stuff!!"?
     
turtle777
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Aug 27, 2009, 07:22 AM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
So, what has downinflames68 learned from asking something in the MacNN lounge?

1) The majority of posters here are sarcastic scum.
What else is new ?

-t
     
paul w
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Aug 27, 2009, 08:22 AM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
So, what has downinflames68 learned from asking something in the MacNN lounge?

1) The majority of posters here are sarcastic scum.
2) I am the only one who can be trusted to supply relevant/decent/useful information.
3) The sarcastic scum that post here have far too much time on their hands.
Aaaaand the usual holier than thou post to complete the scene!
     
residentEvil
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Aug 27, 2009, 10:25 AM
 
and since the thread is now completely FUBAR; might as well add this. i thought the thread was going to begin with, "...help finding a good outfit..." and i knew some good ones!

     
The Final Dakar
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Aug 27, 2009, 10:27 AM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
So, what has downinflames68 learned from asking something in the MacNN lounge?

1) The majority of posters here are sarcastic scum.
2) I am the only one who can be trusted to supply relevant/decent/useful information.
3) The sarcastic scum that post here have far too much time on their hands.
4) mattb doesn't realize we've known him longer than he has, and that 68 too, is sarcastic scum.
     
Person Man
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Aug 27, 2009, 10:40 AM
 
Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
4) mattb doesn't realize we've known him longer than he has, and that 68 too, is sarcastic scum.
He is also still someone who is trying to change that aspect of his personality. As I said before, don't take advantage of it. People can change, and they do. It doesn't happen overnight.
     
The Final Dakar
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Aug 27, 2009, 10:41 AM
 
Originally Posted by Person Man View Post
He is also still someone who is trying to change that aspect of his personality. As I said before, don't take advantage of it. People can change, and they do. It doesn't happen overnight.
Christ, it wasn't an indictment of his personality. mattb referred to us all as sarcastic scum. By including 68 in the list I'm guilty of the crime of considering him our equal. Now shut up.
     
mattyb
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Aug 27, 2009, 10:48 AM
 
Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
4) mattb doesn't realize we've known him longer than he has, and that 68 too, is sarcastic scum.
I need some sort of early warning system. Large blinking or flashing icons would help.

I'll get my coat.
     
 
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