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JohnSmithXTREME · Mar 7, 2005, 09:27 AM

I came upon this amazing device, the Bright Coop Chicken Vacuum, which is a huge machine that can suck up hundreds of chickens and blast them back into their coop, with no harm done! If you want, watch the video to see this vacuum in action: link with video

ManOfSteal · Mar 7, 2005, 09:30 AM

Does it taste like meat?

Athens · Mar 7, 2005, 09:31 AM

that is so freaking CRUEL and funny too

SeSawaya · Mar 7, 2005, 09:31 AM

one of the strangest things I've ever seen.

Wiskedjak · Mar 7, 2005, 09:45 AM

Originally posted by JohnSmithXTREME:
with no harm done!

Not that I'm a huge animal rights activist, but I have to question that claim. With chickens rolling around like that and being "blasted" into tight cages, I can't imagine that there are no injuries.

Buckaroo · Mar 7, 2005, 10:10 AM

Originally posted by Athens:
that is so freaking CRUEL and funny too

Are the chickens being hurt? It didn't appear as if they were.

It looks like it would be alot easier than people running around falling all over them, while trying to catch them to put them into cages.

Maybe it's some kind of thrill ride for them. J/K

zizban · Mar 7, 2005, 10:15 AM

Weird.

demograph68 · Mar 7, 2005, 10:16 AM

It reminded me of a part from the movie Baraka. There's a scene in it where hundreds of chicks are spiraling down a tube, then goes back and worth to a sped up film of people walking in the middle of a city.

Rev-O · Mar 7, 2005, 11:13 AM

I'm just thinking of the riot control applications!

spatterson · Mar 7, 2005, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Rev-O:

I'm just thinking of the riot control applications!

HAHA, yeah thats awesome...

On a side note, this video made me want to become a vegetarian.

Stradlater · Mar 7, 2005, 11:25 AM

Originally posted by spatterson:
On a side note, this video made me want to become a vegetarian.

For how many seconds?

RAILhead · Mar 7, 2005, 11:51 AM

Holy crap.

willed · Mar 7, 2005, 12:42 PM

The video doesn't work for me

The Wolf · 01:49 PM

This thread licks socks!

xi_hyperon · Mar 7, 2005, 01:50 PM

ahem.

The Wolf · Mar 7, 2005, 01:54 PM

ahhhh Demonhood, that is soooooooo lame.

I had a friend in college who coined the expression "That girl sucks more ---- than a chicken vacuum."

In fact, I just emailed him to tell him how ahead of the times he was.

I didn't mean any disrespect, but the title is "Chicken Vacuum"

Stradlater · Mar 7, 2005, 01:59 PM

Demonhood is the caulk of the walk 'round here.

tooki · Mar 7, 2005, 02:04 PM

Considering how many feathers were flying, I can't imagine that it involves zero injuries. And the brushes that feed them into the machine look ghastly. I'll take free-range chicken, thank you very much.

That said, chickens are astoundingly stupid. A friend of mine who grew up with lots of them swears that you can hypnotize them with a line in the dirt. So cruel as the chicken harvesting vacuum is, I doubt the chickens notice much.

All the same, this isn't as funny as the Dog-Gone prairie dog vacuum. It sucks the prairie dogs out of their burrows, up a large hose into a padded collection chamber, from which they are emptied into cages and shipped to Japan. People there will pay $700 for them, though the TV show I saw this on failed to say exactly what the Japanese planned to do with said prairie dogs.

tooki

JohnSmithXTREME · Mar 7, 2005, 02:07 PM

If only they'd make some type of vacuum that would suck me out of my chair and blast me into my economics lectures, then I might go once in a while.

tooki · Mar 7, 2005, 02:10 PM

Something like the tubes in Futurama?

tooki

Twilly Spree · Mar 7, 2005, 02:25 PM

I've seen some stupid ideas and this is among the top ten. Chicken vacuum. Oh boy

Garage81 · Mar 7, 2005, 02:34 PM

wow, they are shooting those chickens pretty fast. wonder what happens when they misalign the cannon with the boxes?

demograph68 · Mar 7, 2005, 02:40 PM

Originally posted by Garage81:
wow, they are shooting those chickens pretty fast. wonder what happens when they misalign the cannon with the boxes?

Chicken nuggets?

olePigeon · Mar 7, 2005, 02:47 PM

Originally posted by Garage81:
wow, they are shooting those chickens pretty fast. wonder what happens when they misalign the cannon with the boxes?

Ground chicken.

JustAnOl'Broad · Mar 7, 2005, 03:02 PM

Originally posted by Garage81:
wow, they are shooting those chickens pretty fast. wonder what happens when they misalign the cannon with the boxes?

If they hit it; Chicken Catch-a-tori

Miss it: Chicken pot pie

benb · Mar 7, 2005, 03:08 PM

Originally posted by Twilly Spree:
I've seen some stupid ideas and this is among the top ten. Chicken vacuum. Oh boy

It really is stupid. I agree. I mean large chicken farms would have absolutely no need for a fast way of caging thousands of chickens. I bet two-hundred people could do it just as fast. Pfft, Machines.

Spliff · Mar 7, 2005, 03:42 PM

Originally posted by Wiskedjak:
Not that I'm a huge animal rights activist, but I have to question that claim. With chickens rolling around like that and being "blasted" into tight cages, I can't imagine that there are no injuries.

There are always injuries when "processing" animals on such a large scale.

Spliff · Mar 7, 2005, 03:44 PM

Originally posted by tooki:
That said, chickens are astoundingly stupid. A friend of mine who grew up with lots of them swears that you can hypnotize them with a line in the dirt.

Just as stupid as people who believe in astrology.

macaddict0001 · Mar 7, 2005, 04:11 PM

I think that its a great idea.

RAILhead · Mar 7, 2005, 04:17 PM

Originally posted by benb:
It really is stupid. I agree. I mean large chicken farms would have absolutely no need for a fast way of caging thousands of chickens. I bet two-hundred people could do it just as fast. Pfft, Machines.

wdlove · Mar 7, 2005, 04:19 PM

That's a nice looking Rooster.

turtle777 · Mar 7, 2005, 04:30 PM

Mwahahaha.

And it's for real. Can't believe it. Texans !

-t

malvolio · Mar 7, 2005, 04:31 PM

Originally posted by JustAnOl'Broad:
If they hit it; Chicken Catch-a-tori

Miss it: Chicken pot pie

Miss it but hit a large vat of mayonnaise: Chicken salad

ghporter · Mar 7, 2005, 04:34 PM

Actually it looks more like a "chicken carpet sweeper" than a vacuum. And the "brushes" seem to be fairly flexible rubber fingers, so they're more shoving the chickens around than anything else.

While it looks pretty scary, it doesn't seem to be anything more than annoying to the chickens. Chickens will fuss and flap about a lot of stuff, and feathers fly when they're just arguing among themselves. From the look of the chickens that were already in the cages, they seemed to be more ruffled than bruised. Remember, these are birds; they're not only lightweight, they're flexible too. They actually do bounce, and when a chicken forgets that he or she isn't supposed to be able to fly very well, that chicken learns about bouncing.

Scientist · 10:22 AM

Originally posted by tooki:
That said, chickens are astoundingly stupid. A friend of mine who grew up with lots of them swears that you can hypnotize them with a line in the dirt. So cruel as the chicken harvesting vacuum is, I doubt the chickens notice much.

Do stupid people feel pain any less than intelligent people? Just something to think about...

voyageur · Mar 7, 2005, 05:25 PM

I'm into Temple Grandin's brand new book "Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior" right now. She's an autistic animal scientist who credits her condition with giving her great insights into animal behavior. Her focus is farm animals, and she's designed a lot of the more humane harvesting machines out there. I don't know whether she had any input into this chicken harvester.

One point she makes is that animals, like autistics, notice far more details than we do, and understanding this is critical to getting farm animals to do what you want them to do. So a new line in the sand or a new shadow on the barn wall that won't even be registered by a normal human is very conspicuous to an animal, and will keep them from entering the stall or barn or whatever.

Absolutely fascinating (and FUNNY!) read:
Review

Shaddim · Mar 7, 2005, 05:28 PM

Originally posted by Scientist:
Do stupid people feel pain any less than intelligent people? Just something to thing about...

Yes, yes they do.

And no, I didn't even need to thing about it.

Spliff · Mar 7, 2005, 06:15 PM

Originally posted by voyageur:
I'm into Temple Grandin's brand new book "Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior" right now. She's an autistic animal scientist who credits her condition with giving her great insights into animal behavior. Her focus is farm animals, and she's designed a lot of the more humane harvesting machines out there. I don't know whether she had any input into this chicken harvester.

One point she makes is that animals, like autistics, notice far more details than we do, and understanding this is critical to getting farm animals to do what you want them to do. So a new line in the sand or a new shadow on the barn wall that won't even be registered by a normal human is very conspicuous to an animal, and will keep them from entering the stall or barn or whatever.

Absolutely fascinating (and FUNNY!) read:
Review

Yeah, I've been hearing good things about that book. The iTunes music store has the audio version of it.

olePigeon · Mar 7, 2005, 08:09 PM

Originally posted by Scientist:
Do stupid people feel pain any less than intelligent people? Just something to thing about...

Punch a Christian and find out.

Twilly Spree · Mar 7, 2005, 08:15 PM

Originally posted by olePigeon:
Punch a Christian and find out.

Punch an OS X zealot and find out

macaddict0001 · Mar 7, 2005, 10:03 PM

you'd need to punch two people.
its bush vs kerry.

ghporter · Mar 7, 2005, 10:38 PM

Let's all remember that the phrase "running around like a chicken with its head cut off" has a basis in actual experience. Chickens don't need that little noggin for much, and they don't use what they have very much. The term "bird brain" is critical here, because chickens are not just stupid, they are dimmer than most domestic birds-with the possible exception of domestic turkeys, they're the dumbest.

Do they feel pain? Sure. But as I said earlier, this machine does not look like it's built to hurt them, just to get them from one place to another efficiently. They most surely won't like it, but it shouldn't hurt them. It would be counterproductive to hurt them, wouldn't it? I mean that would make them less saleable.

Scientist · Mar 8, 2005, 10:28 AM

Originally posted by MacNStein:
Yes, yes they do. And no, I didn't even need to thing about it.

Do you want to back up that assertion? I thing you're crazy.

Buckaroo · Mar 8, 2005, 10:32 AM

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but I believe it is a conveyor rather than a vacuum.

I like someones chicken bounce theory.

Chickens bounce. hehehehe

Buckaroo · Mar 8, 2005, 10:34 AM

Do you ever hesitate at KFC when you want to order a chicken breast?

It's about the oly place in pulic that you can say breast and not be out of line.

Scientist · Mar 8, 2005, 10:36 AM

Originally posted by ghporter:
Let's all remember that the phrase "running around like a chicken with its head cut off" has a basis in actual experience. Chickens don't need that little noggin for much, and they don't use what they have very much. The term "bird brain" is critical here, because chickens are not just stupid, they are dimmer than most domestic birds-with the possible exception of domestic turkeys, they're the dumbest.

Do they feel pain? Sure. But as I said earlier, this machine does not look like it's built to hurt them, just to get them from one place to another efficiently. They most surely won't like it, but it shouldn't hurt them. It would be counterproductive to hurt them, wouldn't it? I mean that would make them less saleable.

The strange thing is that wild turkeys are actually very intelligent animals. Most domesticated animals, for whatever reason, seem pretty stupid. Perhaps we bred them for this. The ancestors of some modern farm animals may have been the ones that were too dumb to escape.

IceBreaker · Mar 8, 2005, 10:57 AM

well I'm just glad the chickens are that dumb.

imagine if the chickens were smarter than humans...they would have machines like that running around gathering us up to eat.

of course then some chickens might wonder if it were "humane" to gather up humans for consumption like that...preferring free-range folk over city dwellers.

Buckaroo · Mar 8, 2005, 11:05 AM

Originally posted by IceBreaker:
well I'm just glad the chickens are that dumb.

imagine if the chickens were smarter than humans...they would have machines like that running around gathering us up to eat.

of course then some chickens might wonder if it were "humane" to gather up humans for consumption like that...preferring free-range folk over city dwellers.

I don't think they would use the word humane. They would probably use the word "Gobble gobble gobble".

Or is that a turkey sound? What does a chicken say?

RAILhead · Mar 8, 2005, 11:22 AM

Originally posted by Buckaroo:
I don't think they would use the word humane. They would probably use the word "Gobble gobble gobble".

Or is that a turkey sound? What does a chicken say?

"Cluck-cluck-cluck", of course.

Maury

benb · Mar 8, 2005, 11:30 AM

Originally posted by Scientist:
The strange thing is that wild turkeys are actually very intelligent animals.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. I was watching OLN one day and two guys were hunting turkeys. They were all sneaky, using calls, camouflage, whispering, and hiding until the turkeys got close enough to pop one. Like you would hunt deer. The only thing is, when they finally shot one all the other turkeys just stood there. Didn't run, didn't flap. Nothing. The guys walked over to the dead turkey and the live ones only moved about 15 feet away. They could have just walked over to a turkey and popped it. No need for the stealth.

So anyway, I'm inclined to believe that turkeys are in fact incredible stupid.