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Buffy Summers · Dec 1, 2009, 09:53 AM

I'm saying that a mental illness can be a deciding factor in making or breaking a relationship.

"I, Oreo, take you, Cookie, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until milk do us part."

despite your stupid ex; that whore is NOT worth feeling shitty about

Women are ****ing bitches that don't make any sense

Are you always like that?, did you ever notice that life is a long lesson in humility.?

Paco500 · Dec 1, 2009, 10:13 AM

My feeling is that you should get a neutral third party involved- couples counseling so to speak. Not either of your current therapists- someone completely neutral if possible.

If it concerns her, make it clear that even if you don't get back together, you are very entangled in each other's lives, and you will not be able to effectively untangle this in isolation.

Laminar · Dec 1, 2009, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by Buffy Summers

humility.?

hahahahahahahaha

downinflames68 · Dec 1, 2009, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by Buffy Summers

"I, Oreo, take you, Cookie, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until milk do us part."

Bullllllllllllllllllllllshit. People just up and change their minds. Never rely on anybody to stick to their word. Ever.

OreoCookie · Dec 1, 2009, 03:21 PM

Cookies? I just made cookies yesterday for my girl.

Laminar · Dec 1, 2009, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Bullllllllllllllllllllllshit. People just up and change their minds. Never rely on anybody to stick to their word. Ever.

You're becoming a parody of yourself.

downinflames68 · Dec 1, 2009, 03:30 PM

Says the guy who hopelessly trolls after anything I post. I think you're in love with me.

Doofy · Dec 1, 2009, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by OreoCookie

Cookies? I just made cookies yesterday for my girl.

What colour was the skirt you were wearing while you did that?

Laminar · Dec 1, 2009, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Says the guy who hopelessly trolls after anything I post. I think you're in love with me.

I'd be denying my true feelings if I didn't respond to this post in some way, shape, or form.

Chooglin' · 11:09 PM

There's only one thing to do: rock out with your gerbil out.

OreoCookie · Dec 2, 2009, 04:27 AM

Originally Posted by Doofy

What colour was the skirt you were wearing while you did that?

Gee, you don't know anything about cooking, do you? I wore an apron, not a skirt

shifuimam · Dec 2, 2009, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Bullllllllllllllllllllllshit. People just up and change their minds. Never rely on anybody to stick to their word. Ever.

You're so ****ing emo, Rob.

That girl you're dating? She's not going to stick around long if you don't stop being such a self-pitying little twit. So you and your wife grew apart. It happens. It doesn't mean it'll happen with everyone woman you meet, so stop projecting your failed relationship onto everyone around you and get the **** over yourself.

downinflames68 · Dec 2, 2009, 04:51 PM

No **** she's not going to stick around forever. I'm moving next summer. Nothing is permanent. Everything is transient. The only constant is change.

imitchellg5 · Dec 2, 2009, 04:54 PM

You're sort of NOT helping this thread out in any form.

downinflames68 · Dec 2, 2009, 05:14 PM

Yes I am. I'm giving my opinion, which is to pack it up pack it in, let him begin. Moveon.org

Spheric Harlot · Dec 2, 2009, 06:08 PM

Just assume that your point has been made, and step aside to let others share *theirs*, as their experience may or may not be as or more applicable than yours.

You two ****ed up; not everybody necessarily does.

The Final Dakar · Dec 2, 2009, 06:13 PM

I have a feeling dif68 is treating the divorce as some kind of epiphany.

andi*pandi · Dec 2, 2009, 07:20 PM

If you believe you are doomed to failure you are a self-fulfilling prophecy.

ThinkInsane · Dec 2, 2009, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

that whore is NOT worth feeling shitty about.

Let me be quite clear here Robert. The fact that your break-up left you feeling butt-hurt does not entitle you to call the man's wife a whore. Do NOT do it again.

Captain Obvious · Dec 2, 2009, 09:42 PM

Originally Posted by The Final Dakar

I have a feeling dif68 is treating the divorce as some kind of epiphany.

Please.

I called that before it even started.

Anyway, OP you should look at Tiger as an example of why not to marry so early in life. Take this break as a chance to sleep around. Even if this girl goes back on her meds and comes home she can't be mad you tested other waters in the interim.
I just keep thinking to what is going to inevitably going to happen if you have kids. She is going to wig out on you and your children one day and make a mess of their lives. I bet anything that this girl's mom is also whacked out to some degree and self medicating.

wolfen · Dec 2, 2009, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

I just keep thinking to what is going to inevitably going to happen if you have kids. She is going to wig out on you and your children one day and make a mess of their lives. I bet anything that this girl's mom is also whacked out to some degree and self medicating.

shifuimam · Dec 3, 2009, 01:02 AM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Please.

I called that before it even started.

Anyway, OP you should look at Tiger as an example of why not to marry so early in life. Take this break as a chance to sleep around. Even if this girl goes back on her meds and comes home she can't be mad you tested other waters in the interim.
I just keep thinking to what is going to inevitably going to happen if you have kids. She is going to wig out on you and your children one day and make a mess of their lives. I bet anything that this girl's mom is also whacked out to some degree and self medicating.

This doesn't make any sense. If he's in love with this woman and wants to spend his life with her, why should he be going out having casual sexual flings while also trying to help his wife get her life together? I get that if he's over her, it's time to move on and start getting back out in the playing field. That, however, doesn't seem to be the case with the OP.

downinflames68 · Dec 3, 2009, 01:46 AM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Please.

I called that before it even started.

Anyway, OP you should look at Tiger as an example of why not to marry so early in life. Take this break as a chance to sleep around. Even if this girl goes back on her meds and comes home she can't be mad you tested other waters in the interim.

Except she probably tested a LOT of other waters in the interim. Girls can get laid at the flip of a switch. Guys getting laid takes effort and time, or luck.

Spheric Harlot · Dec 3, 2009, 05:39 AM

Because your realm of experience is obviously universal.

Get the message, please, and take your vitriol to therapy or creative sublimation.

freudling · Dec 3, 2009, 05:57 AM

ThinkInsane:

Why do you, and some other moderators, HAVE to use caps for emphasis? It's condescending. And what you posted here should have been sent as a PM. I guess what I am posting here should have been PM'd to you to. But I want to make this public.

Spheric Harlot · Dec 3, 2009, 06:08 AM

I'm sure they don't HAVE to use caps for emphasis, but most of us are able to interpret them as strongly emphasized without feeling insulted.

Making that post in public makes it clear to OTHERS that the transgression(s) are being noticed and watched.

Laminar · Dec 3, 2009, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot

Because your realm of experience is obviously universal.

QFT, +1, etc.

The Final Dakar · Dec 3, 2009, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Please.

I called that before it even started.

Well then, have this "atta-boy!"

hadocon · Dec 28, 2009, 02:29 PM

But seriously, I feel bad for OP. It's never a nice feeling to have your whole world go belly-up.

The only advice I can proffer is to take a step back and look at the whole situation. I mean, take a big step back. Maybe it's time to reflect on what marriage means to you and why.

This wikipedia link on marriage is very apropos to this situation. Read it and see how the idea of marriage throughout time has varied widely.

Marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The perspective that I am trying to relate to you is that marriage is a construct of society, and as a result is completely synthetic and in a constant flux. What you are trying to save (by putting so much emotion, effort and brain-time) is perhaps nothing more than a (largely bastardized) human construct that these days is so uninteresting to people that about 50% of marriages fail.

Think about what you could accomplish if you were not spending your time, energy and emotions on this marriage? Heck, you have both even invested heavily on psychological reprogramming (therapy, drugs) in order to force yourselves into this unnatural and BS societal mode.

What happens if you spend all this time and effort and anguish trying to get back with her - waste months of your life and she still buggers off? You are going to resent her and your love will turn into regret, disdain, and then hate.

My advice is to just bite the bullet and go your own way. You can't make her come back to you. If she comes back, and you are willing to take her then that's great (I guess... Imagine the "hand" you would have in that relationship!) - but in the meantime you gotta live your life, because you only have one. I'm not saying to go out and bang ho's, but you should do things for you.

Dude, even if you are married, we all are alone, sovereign islands in a sea of people. No matter what we do, no mater if we are married or have a dozen kids, we all die alone.

Boom!

nonhuman · Dec 28, 2009, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Except she probably tested a LOT of other waters in the interim. Girls can get laid at the flip of a switch. Guys getting laid takes effort and time, or luck.

If by 'effort and time' you mean 'talking to a drunk chick at a bar', then yes. Admittedly I've been off the field, as it were, for several years now, but I don't recall it being particularly difficult even while maintaining relatively high standards.

downinflames68 · Dec 28, 2009, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

If by 'effort and time' you mean 'talking to a drunk chick at a bar', then yes. Admittedly I've been off the field, as it were, for several years now, but I don't recall it being particularly difficult even while maintaining relatively high standards.

Then you are either blessed with striking physical features, or you have mastered the methods. Girls, however, need neither. As long as they aren't totally terrible looking, they can get laid almost whenever they want.

nonhuman · Dec 28, 2009, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Then you are either blessed with striking physical features, or you have mastered the methods. Girls, however, need neither. As long as they aren't totally terrible looking, they can get laid almost whenever they want.

Honestly, I think it has more to do with demeanor than anything else. Since you clearly think you're at a disadvantage when you approach a woman you will be. Most people won't even think to question the ideas/statements of someone who presents them with confidence, that includes women and includes the idea 'I'm going home with you tonight'. This is why many guys think that it's assholes who get girls; it's not, it's confident guys, assholes just also happen to be confident.

downinflames68 · Dec 28, 2009, 03:53 PM

Disagree. The only types of girls that go home with a guy from a bar are shallow in the first place, and only interested in looks.

Laminar · Dec 28, 2009, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Disagree. The only types of girls that go home with a guy from a bar are shallow in the first place, and only interested in looks.

Ah hahaha. Your use of absolutes is hilarious.

nonhuman · Dec 28, 2009, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Disagree. The only types of girls that go home with a guy from a bar are shallow in the first place, and only interested in looks.

Even if that's true, if your goal is simply to get laid, so what? Of course a meaningful relationship is going to take work, but you were saying that girls can get laid 'at the flip of a switch'. I'm saying 'so can guys'. And your response is 'only with shallow women'?

downinflames68 · Dec 28, 2009, 04:09 PM

I guess so. I've never seen a respectable girl go home with a guy from a bar before.

Laminar · Dec 28, 2009, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

I guess so. I've never seen a respectable girl go home with a guy from a bar before.

And this post is even more hilarious than the last.

nonhuman · Dec 28, 2009, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

I guess so. I've never seen a respectable girl go home with a guy from a bar before.

Seeing as most people would define 'respectable girl' as 'doesn't go home with a guy from a bar', that's not too surprising.

Personally, I don't think that's necessarily the case. (Though even still I'd say there's probably a very high correlation.)

Chuckit · Dec 28, 2009, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

I guess so. I've never seen a respectable girl go home with a guy from a bar before.

She's just as respectable as the dude she's going home with.

Chuckit · Dec 28, 2009, 04:41 PM

Also, I disagree with the idea that you have to have an amazing body to hook up with a chick. A good body is helpful, but not crucial. Confidence is more useful.

The Final Dakar · Dec 28, 2009, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

She's just as respectable as the dude she's going home with.

Perhaps in an ideal world, however in reality women receive a stigma for being promiscuous that men do not.

Chuckit · Dec 28, 2009, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by The Final Dakar

Perhaps in an ideal world, however in reality women receive a stigma for being promiscuous that men do not.

That's true in some circles, but it's irrelevant to the point I'm making. If you're both looking for a reasonably attractive person to have a good time with, neither of you has any right to judge the other for that. The fact that other people are stupid doesn't excuse us civilized folk from using our brains.

Phileas · Dec 28, 2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by downinflames68

Disagree. The only types of girls that go home with a guy from a bar are shallow in the first place, and only interested in looks.

Nonsense.

In other news, Chuckit speaks sense.

BlueSky · Dec 28, 2009, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

That's true in some circles, but it's irrelevant to the point I'm making. If you're both looking for a reasonably attractive person to have a good time with, neither of you has any right to judge the other for that. The fact that other people are stupid doesn't excuse us civilized folk from using our brains.

...and our wee wees.