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Someone I knew died a few days ago
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ctt1wbw
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Suffolk, VA
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Dec 10, 2009, 08:25 AM
 
Well, about 6 or 7 years ago, we bought the house we live in currently. As soon as I walked in, I told the homeowner that this house is mine. I loved it. The guy who owned it was remodeling and put a new roof on it and new paint and carpet and kitchen and the whole works. He owned a roofing company in the area and everyone knew him and loved him because he was such a nice guy and would do anything for anyone.

I met him over the next few weeks until closing, probably 6 or 7 times. He was a great guy. So the years went by and then I found out he was in an accident while on vacation in Cancun. The accident made him a quadriplegic. He spent a lot of time at a hospital in Atlanta, then came back home near our house (down a few miles or so) and was in and out of the hospital a lot.

Then I found out two weeks ago that he was back in the hospital with bad infections, and was not expected to make it a week. I ran into his older daughter while getting gas and she told me where he was. I asked if I could stop by and wish him and his family well, and she said that would be great. But I got to thinking if it would have been acceptable to stop by and visit a dying man on his deathbed, since I wasn't family or friends. I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if that would been right.

Now I think I should have at least stopped by for a few minutes. Would that have been a bit too creepy or what, for someone you don't really know to show up at the hospital and visit your husband or wife on their deathbed?
     
Thorzdad
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
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Dec 10, 2009, 10:32 AM
 
It's a tough call but, since you didn't really have an active relationship, I'd say visiting him in the hospital may have been a little odd. A card with a nice, handwritten note to him and his family would have been my preferred line of contact, if I felt like I really needed to say something. It's not too late to send his family a little note.
     
tortenteufel
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Netherlands
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Dec 10, 2009, 10:55 AM
 
Obviously, you are not happy with the fact that you didn’t go to see him. My advice: send a card or something to his relatives and offer your condolances. You could write that, although he was jus an acquaintance of you, you liked the guy.

I can’t imagine that a gesture like that will not be appreciated by the ones left behind. When I lost someone dear, I found comfort in those little things…..
     
lexapro
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Dec 10, 2009, 12:47 PM
 
Send his family a card and flowers. Write to them how much you liked him and your experiences with him just like you did here. It will mean so much to them.
     
ctt1wbw  (op)
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Suffolk, VA
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Dec 10, 2009, 03:29 PM
 
Thanks for the advice. I'll be getting cards and flowers.
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Join Date: Sep 2000
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Dec 10, 2009, 04:58 PM
 
Visiting him would've been fine.

He must've been a great guy for someone he only met 8 or 9 times to go and see him, right? Then that's great stuff.

greg
Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
     
ctt1wbw  (op)
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Suffolk, VA
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Dec 10, 2009, 05:05 PM
 
Yeah. His friends are running his business for him trying to keep it going so his family has something beyond the insurance claims.
     
   
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