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SWF seeks WMD
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2001
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CIA Runs Personal Ad Looking for Weapons Cache
The Central Intelligence Agency has taken the extraordinary step of placing personal ads in leading Arabic-language dailies in the Middle East in order to locate former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's banned weapons cache, agency sources revealed today.
The advertisements, with the heading "SWF SEEKS WMD," have been criticized in some quarters as a particularly desperate attempt to find Saddam's forbidden but so far invisible weapons of mass destruction.
Sources within the CIA, however, said that the ads were not a sign of desperation, but rather were a calculated move to target Saddam's sons Uday and Qusay, who, the CIA believes, have not had a date in months.
"We have intelligence suggesting that both of these gentlemen have billions of Euros and want to get busy with the ladies," one source said.
Attempting to counter recent reports of intelligence failures, the CIA revealed today that they had uncovered a large cache of the lubricant WD-40 outside Basra today.
"While WD-40 is not the same thing as WMD, it could be used to lubricate a machine that could make WMD," the CIA said.
Meanwhile, in testimony before Congress, CIA director George Tenet acknowledged today that large sections of the President's State of the Union Address had been copied verbatim from the children's classic "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll.
Mr. Tenet took the blame for the inclusion of the "Alice" passages and also took responsibility for the National League's loss in Tuesday's Major League Baseball All Star Game.
"I don't know exactly what I had to do with the loss, but I'm pretty sure it was my fault," a contrite Mr. Tenet said.
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Chris. T.
"... in 6 months if WMD are found, I hope all clear-thinking people who opposed the war will say "You're right, we were wrong -- good job". Similarly, if after 6 months no WMD are found, people who supported the war should say the same thing -- and move to impeach Mr. Bush." - moki, 04/16/03
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: 888500128, C3, 2nd soft.
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Originally posted by christ:
Attempting to counter recent reports of intelligence failures, the CIA revealed today that they had uncovered a large cache of the lubricant WD-40 outside Basra today.
"While WD-40 is not the same thing as WMD, it could be used to lubricate a machine that could make WMD," the CIA said.
Whaaaahahahahaaah!
Okay...let's see how long they take to start bombing recording studios and repair shops. Hey, I think I have a can sitting around...
:looks outside, listening for cruise missiles and helicopters:
Seriously, where is that from?
-s*
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Beautiful Downtown Portland
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"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." -- Hunter S. Thompson
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2002
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Stop all this anti-americanism and anti-Bushism!
just thought I'd do this so some members only have to copy paste
ROFL Great one!
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"If Bush says we hate freedom, let him tell us why we didn't attack Sweden, for example. OBL 29th oct
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Calgary
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Have you got a link to that story?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: May 2003
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....better and better and....
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Mac Elite
Join Date: May 2001
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BRAVO!
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"Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give the appearance of solidity to pure wind." George Orwell
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: sc aka hell
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