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Buckaroo · Feb 5, 2007, 10:04 PM

Space shuttle astronaut arrested at OIA on attempted kidnapping, battery charges

A NASA astronaut is charged with attacking her rival for another astronaut's attention early Monday at Orlando International Airport, the Orlando Sentinel has learned.

Lisa Marie Nowak drove from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the male astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police.

Nowak -- who was a mission specialist on a Discovery launch last summer -- was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, rubber tubing and plastic bags, reports show. Once U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport's Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman's car and doused her with pepper spray, according to reports.

Space shuttle astronaut arrested at OIA on attempted kidnapping, battery charges - Orlando Sentinel : Space & Science Space shuttle astronaut arrested at OIA on attempted kidnapping, battery charges - Orlando Sentinel : Space & Science

This is really messed up. She was a test pilot, with a killer career. I can't believe this really happened.

KeriVit · Feb 5, 2007, 10:19 PM

That's effed up. She seriously lost it. And it's no moment of passion when you drive what... 12 hours? (And pee in your car)

brassplayersrock² · Feb 5, 2007, 10:25 PM

the primitive part of her brain, a.k.a the Limbic System, must of had much control over her, or else her Cerebral Cortex would have made her think rationally.

-a

Face Ache · Feb 5, 2007, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock

the primitive part of her brain, a.k.a the Limbic System, must of had much control over her, or else her Cerebral Cortex would have made her think rationally.

-a

Here comes another liberal/conservative argument...

Buckaroo · Feb 5, 2007, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Face Ache

Here comes another liberal/conservative argument...

Huh?? What does this have to do with liveral/conservative. Both liberals and conservatives react about the same when it comes to love.

climber · Feb 5, 2007, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo

Huh?? What does this have to do with liveral/conservative. Both liberals and conservatives react about the same when it comes to love.

Except liberals are better at hiding it...

Kevin · Feb 5, 2007, 11:14 PM

At least she showed her colors before they got into space

Nothing says "this sucks" like realizng the chick you just went into space with is batshit crazy.

wolfen · Feb 6, 2007, 12:14 AM

...I got nuthin'.

Eynstyn · Feb 6, 2007, 12:21 AM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo

Huh?? What does this have to do with liveral/conservative. Both liberals and conservatives react about the same when it comes to love.

A university study said that the two feel emotionals equally. Apparently conservatives and males are better able to control their emotions than libs and the fairer gender, generally.

KeriVit · Feb 6, 2007, 12:26 AM

OMG- where did this thread turn in such a short time?

The Godfather · Feb 6, 2007, 12:31 AM

Monetary fine, insanity ruling and about a year in mental rehab. She'll still be a hero, but not allowed in any cockpit again.

Buckaroo · Feb 6, 2007, 12:32 AM

Ohhhh. Now I know why. I didn't completely finish the story. This all came about after she tried to install Vista onto her 6 month old Dell. It went into blue screen and has been useless since.

Gator Lager · Feb 6, 2007, 12:32 AM

oh shite. I just got home and didn't hear anything about it out there and the K.S.C. grape vine is fast. you can't fart without someone knowing about it. damn.

I can't wait to go to work tomorrow. this is going to be interesting.
the space soap opera
"As the Cape Turns"

well not only is her Shuttle flying days over, you can add Oefelein name to the list.
maybe more. Ooops. ah no worries they've got plenty of astro'nuts at houston.

Buckaroo · Feb 6, 2007, 12:33 AM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Monetary fine, insanity ruling and about a year in mental rehab. She'll still be a hero, but not allowed in any cockpit again.

I think your right.

Buckaroo · Feb 6, 2007, 12:39 AM

Originally Posted by Gator Lager

. . . got plenty of astro'nuts at houston.

Are you referring to their oversized ego? Or is there something else?

The Godfather · Feb 6, 2007, 12:39 AM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo

I think your right.

Or the charges will be dropped.

Gator Lager · Feb 6, 2007, 12:43 AM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Monetary fine, insanity ruling and about a year in mental rehab. She'll still be a hero, but not allowed in any cockpit again.

not with our new boss. very professional and absolutely no bullshite. he's all about the image.
and I like that abou him. no bullshite.
http://www.nasa.gov/about/highlights/griffin_bio.html
he got my arse and a few other called on carpet for some minor stuff. and he just mentioned it to my higher ups. and the shite rolled down hill really really fast.

Gator Lager · Feb 6, 2007, 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by Buckaroo

Are you referring to their oversized ego? Or is there something else?

no, their are plenty of astronauts waiting to fly.
and yes a few have a ego problem but the majority a really cool folks.

The Godfather · Feb 6, 2007, 12:55 AM

Then I'll have to change my verdict to dishonorable discharge, in addition to having the book thrown at her, whatever it is.

But in the end, I wish her falling on her feet, and finding another honorable occupation, while keeping the love of her family and friends. She was launched last July 4, still a hero to me.

Jawbone54 · Feb 6, 2007, 03:25 AM

???

himself · Feb 6, 2007, 05:09 AM

Ha, they're running this story on World News Now (ABC) right now.
I think she was possessed by alien parasites while in orbit...

Eynstyn · Feb 6, 2007, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by The Godfather

Monetary fine, insanity ruling and about a year in mental rehab. She'll still be a hero, but not allowed in any cockpit again.

"Heh heh heh, you said, "cockpit."

FireWire · Feb 6, 2007, 05:43 AM

Before:

After:

Damn meth... wait

analogika · Feb 6, 2007, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by Face Ache

Here comes another liberal/conservative argument...

Rarely has sabotage been achieved so successfully with such minimal effort...

♥ · Feb 6, 2007, 09:06 AM

Today we heard that she wore a diaper from Houston to Orlando so that she wouldn't have to stop and use a bathroom.

Dakar² · Feb 6, 2007, 09:15 AM

So, uh, they don't do any mental profiling on astronauts?

♥ · Feb 6, 2007, 09:49 AM

Yes, that's true, isn't it?

It is quite alarming that this is a person who has top security clearances.

NASA must be extremely alarmed.

JoshuaZ · Feb 6, 2007, 11:38 AM

In space, no one can hear you go bonkers.

wolfen · Feb 6, 2007, 11:42 AM

They granted her bail. Anyone can see what happens next.

Tell me, how are they going to get her when she escapes to outer space? Huh?! I don't think the International Space Station will extradite.

poll: will she bring diapers on her getaway?

Eynstyn · Feb 6, 2007, 12:20 PM

Let's start the conspiracy machine.

Let's call it The Luca Brasi Conspiracy.

She will be given a very public dismissal from the Navy and NASA and will leave the US space program in disgrace. She'll write a book, go on tour around the world and somewhere along the way she'll meet with low level reps from some foreign space programs and become a consultant and maybe even an Astronaut in that foreign space program. But she'll actually be a double agent for the US.

Shades of MOONRAKER!

When a U.S. space shuttle is stolen in a midair hijacking, only Bond can find the evil genius responsible. The clues point to billionaire Hugo Drax, who has devised a scheme to destroy all human life on earth! As Bond races against time to stop Drax's evil plot, he joins forces with Dr. Holly Goodhead, a NASA scientist who is as beautiful as she is brilliant. And 007 needs all the help he can get, for Drax's henchman is none other Bond's old nemesis Jaws, the indestructible steel-toothed giant. Their adventure leads all the way to a gigantic space station, where the stage is set for an epic battle for the fate of all mankind.

Apparently 'all your space are belong to Bond.'

With news about the diaper I wonder what name she'd be given in a campy Bond flick from the 70's?

Nogold N. Showers?

That was awful. I'm ashamed of meself.

♥ · Feb 6, 2007, 12:23 PM

What proves that she's truly nuts is the fact that she brought a BB gun to commit the kidnapping.

Eynstyn · Feb 6, 2007, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by ♥

What proves that she's truly nuts is the fact that she brought a BB gun to commit the kidnapping.

To her way of thinking it would be CRAZY to use a real gun.

BlueSky · Feb 6, 2007, 12:28 PM

Hell hath no fury like a woman in diapers. I heard that somewhere.

olePigeon · Feb 6, 2007, 12:32 PM

"Sir, this woman is violating her parole at 25,000 kph..."

♥ · Feb 6, 2007, 12:36 PM

Ah, the ad lib jokes are "flying" fast and furious around here!

OldManMac · Feb 6, 2007, 01:47 PM

She's messed up more than big time; she's now facing attempted murder charges!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/06/ast...ted/index.html

Gator Lager · Feb 6, 2007, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by KarlG

She's messed up more than big time; she's now facing attempted murder charges!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/06/ast...ted/index.html

just saw this on the news. oh well we have a saying at the Cape
"Kick'em while they're down"
and NASA Administrator Michael Griffin will do the kicking. Big time.
she is a major dumb ass.

one does not just walk off the street to become an astronaut. you have to work your arse off to join the ranks.
geeze what a loon

well she'll have some cool stories to tell, while on thorazen.

Eynstyn · Feb 6, 2007, 03:32 PM

Lisa M. Nowak (CAPTAIN, USN)
NASA Astronaut

PERSONAL DATA: Born May 10, 1963, in Washington, D.C. Married, with three children. Lisa enjoys bicycling, running, skeet, sailing, gourmet cooking, rubber stamps, crossword puzzles, piano, and African violets. As an undergraduate she competed on the track team. Her parents, Alfredo and Jane Caputo, reside in Rockville, Maryland.

This part is really sad.

RAILhead · Feb 6, 2007, 04:57 PM

Better shots:

Gossamer · Feb 6, 2007, 05:16 PM

Originally Posted by RAILhead

Better shots:

How is it that you have pictures of nearly every single woman in existence?

Jawbone54 · Feb 6, 2007, 05:32 PM

This thread is a blast.

*crickets chirping*

imitchellg5 · Feb 6, 2007, 05:55 PM

A conversation with his boss probably looked something like this:

♥ · Feb 6, 2007, 06:08 PM

She's out on bail.

Wearing GPS to see where she goes.

???

Does it work in outer space?

Is she breaking probation if she leaves the earth?

BlueSky · Feb 6, 2007, 06:18 PM

subego · 10:06 PM

It was really good diaper.

centerchannel68 · Feb 6, 2007, 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

At least she showed her colors before they got into space

Nothing says "this sucks" like realizng the chick you just went into space with is batshit crazy.

No doubt man, no doubt!

According to her coworkers, they always thought she was a little 'spacey'. hahaha. Bada-bing!

Dale Sorel · Feb 6, 2007, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by subego

Cadaver · Feb 6, 2007, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by RAILhead

See, kids? See what heroin and crack will do to ya.

Something in her head snapped... big time. Astronauts go through tons of psychologic testing before being admitted into the program.

Sad, really.

Buckaroo · Feb 6, 2007, 10:55 PM

Originally Posted by Eynstyn

"Heh heh heh, you said, "cockpit."

So Bevus and Butthead.

Buckaroo · Feb 6, 2007, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by subego

It was really good diaper.

She's just not wearing any makeup in the top right picture. The bottom left picture she just wants her term paper out of her PC.