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An eccentric plan to escape the world's problems
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Kerrigan
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Mar 31, 2011, 05:16 PM
 
So, as we all know, birth rates are soaring in third world countries, many of those countries are seeking to obtain nuclear weapons, their problems are spilling over into the First World (see: Mexican drug cartels), and overall, the future looks pretty bleak for modernity.

Here is my eccentric solution escape this dilemma:

Step 1: Immediately withdraw the US from all three of its wars.

Step 2: End social security.

Step 3: Use all of the money saved therefrom and allocate it to the Air Force.

Step 4: Tell the Air Force to start building a bunch of those new and improved Saturn V rockets (that one Obama scrapped).

Step 5: Set up a huge, permanent colony on Mars, assert American sovereignty over the whole planet, and commence terraforming.

Step 6: Seize all of Microsoft and Apple's cash, sell every state west of the Mississippi to China, and give that money to Virgin Galactic, which then begins launching a significant number of US citizens into space for their journey to Mars (selection based on an objective standard of attractiveness, i.e. Facebook pictures).

Step 7: Set up a bunch of those forthcoming Naval super-lasers to orbit the Earth, melting any unauthorized spacecraft.

Step 8: The world rejoices in the American exodus from Earth, and a new chapter in mankind begins.

(Naturally this is all tongue-in-cheek, but I actually believe that the money, technology, and resources are available to make something like this happen)
     
Dork.
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Mar 31, 2011, 07:27 PM
 
A special committee would have to be appointed to study and recommend the criteria to be employed, but off-hand, I should say that in addition to the factors of youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary skills, it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included, to impart the required principles of leadership and tradition.

Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time and little to do. With the proper breeding techniques, and starting with a ratio of, say, ten women to each man, I should estimate the progeny of the original group of 200,000 would emerge a hundred years later as well over a hundred million. Naturally the group would have to continually engage in enlarging the original living space.

Know where that's from?
     
CRASH HARDDRIVE
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Mar 31, 2011, 09:53 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dork. View Post
it would be absolutely vital that our top government ... be included
Aww man, talk about "Who invited those assholes to the party?" You had to go and spoil a perfectly good pipe dream!

How about this, we JUST send the 'top government' dorks up to Mars, and let them spend shitpiles of imaginary money off to themselves, and leave future generations' REAL money untouched back here on good ol' earth? Now there's a plan I could get behind.

Of course, in order for it to work we'd have to have new government back on earth that aren't just as big a bunch of pricks as the ones we shot into space. That's a TALL order.
     
reader50
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Mar 31, 2011, 09:56 PM
 
An eccentric plan to escape the world's problems
For some reason, I was expecting a commercial for beer & drugs. Discount prices to help you get away from it all.
     
Uncle Skeleton
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Apr 1, 2011, 01:51 AM
 
Originally Posted by Dork. View Post
A special committee would have to be appointed to study and recommend the criteria to be employed, but off-hand, I should say that in addition to the factors of youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary skills, it would be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included, to impart the required principles of leadership and tradition.

Naturally, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time and little to do. With the proper breeding techniques, and starting with a ratio of, say, ten women to each man, I should estimate the progeny of the original group of 200,000 would emerge a hundred years later as well over a hundred million. Naturally the group would have to continually engage in enlarging the original living space.
God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural... fluids.
     
Captain Obvious
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Apr 1, 2011, 05:33 AM
 
Here's a better eccentric plan that could serve as a test run on how to solve the world's problems:

Let people die.
Instead of humanitarian aid and industrialized nations stepping in to help save lives we should let nature take its course.

Haiti should have served as the first Petri dish to let this theory prove itself as valid. Before the earthquake happened Haiti was already screwed. They'd destroyed their natural resources, were beyond a population level that could be self sustained, and the government was a failure. If we'd just let the earthquake and its aftermath take its natural course the country would have been better off in the long run. For every life that was saved the do-gooders made Haiti a little more unstable and pushed it farther down a path that will end in violence.

There's no end to examples where actions that are considered aid now will end up exacerbating issues for those same people because the long term effect is exponential growth of their core problems.

If we want to have a shot of escaping the world's problems we need to see a sever reduction in population in those developing countries who are already terribly over populated. Because all our real problems will stem from that. If there's a god then he better send India and China biblical type disaster now that cuts their numbers by 20% before war does it for him.
( Last edited by Captain Obvious; Apr 1, 2011 at 05:41 AM. )

Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
     
lpkmckenna
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Apr 1, 2011, 06:26 AM
 
Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
Haiti ... India and China.
I'm seeing a trend here.
     
Dork.
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Apr 1, 2011, 06:53 AM
 
Originally Posted by CRASH HARDDRIVE View Post
Aww man, talk about "Who invited those assholes to the party?" You had to go and spoil a perfectly good pipe dream!
If I left that part out, nobody would have gotten it.
     
imitchellg5
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Apr 1, 2011, 09:53 AM
 
If you think the world is overpopulated, please explain the middle of America.
     
The Final Dakar
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Apr 1, 2011, 10:07 AM
 
Originally Posted by imitchellg5 View Post
If you think the world is overpopulated, please explain the middle of America.
Well, all the good parts.

(and that's not what he meant)
     
mattyb
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Apr 1, 2011, 10:34 AM
 
The world only has one problem : humans.

And thats quite enough philosophy for someone who drank too many beers at lunch. Have a good weekend.
     
mduell
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Apr 5, 2011, 09:35 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kerrigan View Post
Step 4: Tell the Air Force to start building a bunch of those new and improved Saturn V rockets (that one Obama scrapped).
Obama scrapped Ares V (and I and IV); Saturn V was the Apollo rocket.

Fortunately it looks like SpaceX will save the day, with a COTS option avoiding so much of the NASA bureaucracy.
     
el chupacabra
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Apr 7, 2011, 03:30 PM
 
Thats impossible since Mars' size/gravity isnt enough to support oxygen.
Ive got a much cheaper, simpler, and practical solution that is actually possible.

Put a 15 year ban on child production (Everyone between 1-18 now will be able to have kids in the future). Then after that charge people per kid.

Kind of like a hunting license. It used to be natural right that you could hunt for your food... But as the world grew too big for the environment to supply us with natural food we enacted laws to ration hunting/wildlife.

At the very least it'd be a good start to stop paying people to have kids through tax breaks and welfare. Overpopulation through resource deprivation is the root of all problems on the planet.
     
olePigeon
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Apr 7, 2011, 03:54 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kerrigan View Post
Step 4: Tell the Air Force to start building a bunch of those new and improved Saturn V rockets (that one Obama scrapped).
Obama scrapped the Aries rockets. The reintroduction of the Saturn rockets was not feasible because large portions of the plans (especially retooling, bug fixes, etc.) no longer exist. Various parts of the Saturn series rockets were outsourced to Lockheed, McDonnell Douglas, etc., and data retention (well, housing blueprints in mold/moister free warehouse) was expensive.

It would have cost over $16 billion to rebuild the Saturn V rocket from the original plans, which would be NASA's entire budget. It would have been more cost effective to build a new rocket than revive the Saturn V.

OT: Because the Congress forced NASA to stop their shuttle missions, they've had to pay Russia for use of the Soyuz. $141 million dollars for a single ride. Funny thing happens when you're suddenly the only country with an active human-to-space program, you can charge whatever you want.
( Last edited by olePigeon; Apr 7, 2011 at 04:03 PM. )
"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
SpaceMonkey
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Apr 7, 2011, 06:02 PM
 
I thought this was going to be an egg-centric plan, which I would be all for.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
The Final Dakar
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Apr 7, 2011, 06:03 PM
 
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey View Post
I thought this was going to be an egg-centric plan, which I would be all for.
     
Athens
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Apr 7, 2011, 07:09 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kerrigan View Post
So, as we all know, birth rates are soaring in third world countries, many of those countries are seeking to obtain nuclear weapons, their problems are spilling over into the First World (see: Mexican drug cartels), and overall, the future looks pretty bleak for modernity.

Here is my eccentric solution escape this dilemma:

Step 1: Immediately withdraw the US from all three of its wars.

Step 2: End social security.

Step 3: Use all of the money saved therefrom and allocate it to the Air Force.

Step 4: Tell the Air Force to start building a bunch of those new and improved Saturn V rockets (that one Obama scrapped).

Step 5: Set up a huge, permanent colony on Mars, assert American sovereignty over the whole planet, and commence terraforming.

Step 6: Seize all of Microsoft and Apple's cash, sell every state west of the Mississippi to China, and give that money to Virgin Galactic, which then begins launching a significant number of US citizens into space for their journey to Mars (selection based on an objective standard of attractiveness, i.e. Facebook pictures).

Step 7: Set up a bunch of those forthcoming Naval super-lasers to orbit the Earth, melting any unauthorized spacecraft.

Step 8: The world rejoices in the American exodus from Earth, and a new chapter in mankind begins.

(Naturally this is all tongue-in-cheek, but I actually believe that the money, technology, and resources are available to make something like this happen)
I really really like that idea except selling the western states to the Chinese. Very least make it a auction. Take the UK, Israel, Russia, and Chinese with you as well, then the world might know peace for a while since all the largest weapon manufactures would be gone.
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Missed 2012 by 3 days, RIP Grandma :-(
     
Athens
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Apr 7, 2011, 07:12 PM
 
Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
Here's a better eccentric plan that could serve as a test run on how to solve the world's problems:

Let people die.
Instead of humanitarian aid and industrialized nations stepping in to help save lives we should let nature take its course.

Haiti should have served as the first Petri dish to let this theory prove itself as valid. Before the earthquake happened Haiti was already screwed. They'd destroyed their natural resources, were beyond a population level that could be self sustained, and the government was a failure. If we'd just let the earthquake and its aftermath take its natural course the country would have been better off in the long run. For every life that was saved the do-gooders made Haiti a little more unstable and pushed it farther down a path that will end in violence.

There's no end to examples where actions that are considered aid now will end up exacerbating issues for those same people because the long term effect is exponential growth of their core problems.

If we want to have a shot of escaping the world's problems we need to see a sever reduction in population in those developing countries who are already terribly over populated. Because all our real problems will stem from that. If there's a god then he better send India and China biblical type disaster now that cuts their numbers by 20% before war does it for him.
You know its funny how you talk about reducing China's population down by 20% when yet the US consumes more resources and materials with a fraction of the population then all of the Chinese combined. If anything the world would be better off learning from The Chinese and the Cubans. Whats messing up China is its quest to Americanize.
Blandine Bureau 1940 - 2011
Missed 2012 by 3 days, RIP Grandma :-(
     
Captain Obvious
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Apr 7, 2011, 07:42 PM
 
Originally Posted by Athens View Post
Whats messing up China is its quest to Americanize.
That is correct. And it is the same problem with India.
In a world of limited resources that sets up an impending disaster. Equally problematic is that rather than perusing more modern and innovative ways to industrialize and advance they want to take the same road the Western countries did to get to where they are. That type of primitive consumption of resources is going to f()ck everyone on the planet. Western countries did some rather irresponsible things to the environment but that happened over the course of an entire century when our understanding and science was unable to forewarn us of what its dangers were. We'll right our course but that will take time.

Since those people have the benefit of knowing what we do know now and they are starting from such a rudimentary place they need to be more proactive than the West was.

If they aren't willing to do that then the only other option is to cull the herd.

Haiti on the other hand is a lost cause. With a birthrate of like 6 kids to every mother, no remaining resources, and geographically constrained the only thing to do is let them die off to levels that can be sustained on that parcel of land.

Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
     
Athens
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Apr 7, 2011, 07:54 PM
 
Personally I think the world needs to look at Cuba. The American embargo on the country has resulted in a very unique situation which they over came well. They had to make do with the little resources they have and do pretty well. And I don't mean the government but the eco friendly farming. The lack of fuel and pesticides allow for very healthy farming. The way they make use of the farm land is impressive. The health care system and what it does with what it has is also impressive.
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imitchellg5
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Apr 7, 2011, 11:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by Athens View Post
Personally I think the world needs to look at Cuba. The American embargo on the country has resulted in a very unique situation which they over came well. They had to make do with the little resources they have and do pretty well. And I don't mean the government but the eco friendly farming. The lack of fuel and pesticides allow for very healthy farming. The way they make use of the farm land is impressive. The health care system and what it does with what it has is also impressive.
Same with Iran. For example, the sanctions against Iran mean that they cannot purchase any new aircrafts with more than 10% US content, which leaves out pretty much every modern airplane. Thus they rely on one of the oldest aircraft fleets in the world for airlines. They have been able to create factories making just as good (or higher-quality) OEM parts for their airplanes. In fact, when Lufthansa still had A300s, Lufthansa Technik used parts made in Iran to maintain their planes. I believe Kuwait Airlines may do the same.
     
   
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